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Saturday August 3, 1974

Mum wakes me at 12 with the news that Andy is waiting for me -she's not too pleased that I'm going out drinking on an empty stomach, though she doesn't give Andy that impression. To the Commercial with Andy, Bruno and Keith, then the Emmotts, then the Dyneley Arms. Back to Bruno's for spaghetti on toast and listen to the Beachboys Greatest Hits LP. A and I then go on to Dave Brown's in order that A can buy some cheap jewellry for Linda's holiday present. Have a good laugh. Back home for 5.

Denny comes with Lynn at 6.30 and we book a taxi, or I should say 2 taxis, for 8.45. All leave for Pudsey - John, Denny, Carol and self in one car, and Susan, Peter, Ronnie and Lynn in the other.
Super party. Jackie looks great, and we have a good time with Neil, her fiance from Xmas. Never will I criticise Peter Nason again. He may be shy but he loves my sister more than I could have imagined. If I ever see a couple who love each other like that again I will be surprised. Drink until about 3am, though Auntie Eleanor was a large dampener on events when she separated the sexes into different rooms at 3. Sit with Peter getting him drunk and to take his mind of Susan, who is slightly ill with drink. Finally sleep after 6am, and wake up at 10.30am Sunday morning.



Friday August 2, 1974

Typical Friday. To Hare & Hounds and Wikis. John is enraptured by Carol Smith, whom he asks to accompany him to Jackie's 18th birthday party tomorrow. Poor Denny was not with us tonight. She rings and tells me she is babysitting for her wealthy friends with the £46,000 house.

Andy, Bruno and Keith came straight to Wikis from their Cornwall holiday. Poor Bruno seemed peeved about John and Carol and he questioned him about how long they'd been going out. Not an outstanding evening and the only highlight was the rude attitude of Chris Ratcliffe______.

Home with Keith after 2. Arrange to see Andy in the Commercial tomorrow afternoon. Should be a laugh anyway.


Thursday August 1, 1974

Good day at the YP. Have one and a half hours for lunch in order to go into Leeds to obtain a copy of Uncle Bert's birth certificate for Aunt Jadwega - who needs it in order to be naturalised a British citizen. I am disgusted with the authorities for not allowing poor Auntie to have a passport. She's just as much an Englishwoman as Mama, and besides, anyone marrying an Englishman ought to become British immediately. Get the certificate at the registrars in Park Square. He was born at 110, Swinnow Rd, Bramley, on January 17, 1926, the son of Albert Rhodes and Ruth Ellen, formerly Upton. Very interesting. Home at nearly 6. Post the certificate on to Nottingham, where Auntie is waiting eagerly with open arms for her ticket to Poland and home.

To the Hare and Hounds after 8 with Denny and Marita, Dave Lawson, etc. Quite a nice evening but expensive for me. Marita, bless her heart, was drinking brandy and Babycham, at 37p a shot. Back to our place before 11 to see 'Cinema'. Chris wasn't very talkative, and I was quite nicely placed between a cushion and Denny. A few martinis went down smoothly.


Wednesday July 31, 1974

Bored all day. Sleep on the bus coming from the YP and collapse over the tea table, listless and over-heated at about 6.

Dearest Denny rings after 7 and we almost decide to go out tomorrow night, but decide to wait until the time comes to see how we feel. Have a bath at 9 listening to the American 'Top 20' on Radio Luxembourg - some of the records were quite good, but otherwise it was mediocre.

Sit watching tv and drinking martini with Lynn. An interview with Glenda Jackson. Bed before 12. Sit reading Queen Mary (which was due back on July 25), and almost doze to sleep. Auntie Eddy (Jadwega) rings at 12.30 in a panic about Uncle Bert's missing birth certificate. She rings me because I am the family archivist, and expert on births, marriages and deaths. I say the certificate was last seen in the possession of Grandad, who died in September, so I suppose Grandma has it. Evidently, the authorities refuse to give Eddy a passport until she becomes a naturalised Englishwoman. I promise to get a copy of the birth certificate from Leeds or wherever the Bramley records for the 1920s are kept. Bed and sleep after 1.



Tuesday July 30, 1974

Lousy, rotten day at the YP but the evening is exceptional and very amusing. Go to Marita's at about 8 o'clock - we sit playing Handel on the record player and wait for Denny. She rings David and we - the three of us - decide to go to the Hare, where Peter Mather today celebrates his 19th birthday. Denny comes unprepared for going out, and wears tatty red velvet trousers and a t-shirt with 'Playboy Club' inscribed across the front. She is quite livid with us for not contacting her before deciding to go out, but she soon calms down._________. MM comes at 9, shortly after David, who wears a brown suit - unusual for Mr Lawson. MM and Marita spend half an hour upstairs, and Marita shouts down that she will see us in the Hare later on. We, Dave, Denny and I let ourselves out and go to the Hare. See all the usual gang, who decide to move on to the Commercial - the three of us hang on for Marita until 10.15 but see no sign of her. Move to the Commercial without contacting the Fountain residence, which proves to be the big give away on our part. 3 of us back to Pine Tops at 11. We decide to go up to Marita's for a party and I prepare to stay the night - Marita is not amused. It transpires that MM had gone home at 9.30 and she had followed us to the Hare, where we could no longer be found. Marita goes to bed and the three of us have Cinzanos and listen to Dave's tapes. He brings me home after 2 only to discover that I am locked out. Dad comes home for supper and lets me in - not very pleased really.


Monday July 29, 1974

Rise at 7.30. To the YP by bus from Green Bottom. Didn't fancy the train today. Awful day at work and decide to leave. I want to do something interesting with my life and filing photos of politicians from El Salvador isn't what I call thrilling.

To Marita's at 5.30. Sit on the doorstep till she comes home at 5.40. Take up the carpet in her bedroom whilst she cooks the tea for Denny and myself, who arrives shortly after 6. MM comes at 7 and begins scraping the walls - quite efficient at decorating he is.______.Have a good laugh and do quite a bit of work until 10. MM has a wash whilst Denny, bless her, and Marita, go for fish and chips. Spill tomato sauce all over my shirt much to everyone's amusement. Leave Marita's at 10.45. Bed before 11.


Sunday July 28, 1974

7th after Trinity. Nice lunch at 1. See 'African Queen' on tv in the afternoon - Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart. Denny rings at about 5.______________________________.

David went out with Denny, MM, and Marita last night - if I'd have thought about it I'd have asked him, David that is, to accompany us to the Stansfield. Ring Dave at about 8 and he says he can't come out tonight because of a shocking cold.

Go to the Commercial where John and I meet the two Americans, Anne and Carol. Peter takes Anne and John takes the other. MM and Marita bring Denny, and Mum, Dad, Auntie Hilda and Uncle Tony come shortly after. Tremendous evening. Auntie H is a brilliant success really. MM and Marita decide to come with Denny and I to Spain. Me and Den. are going to Marita's on Monday evening to decide the colour scheme for her bedroom. My painting 'Seascape, 1970' is to be the central feature. I'm quite proud. Chris, who I haven't seen much of, along with Christine W and Carol Smith come back for coffee, Bacardi, Martini, etc. Uncle Tony drinks out of the Spanish wine thing brought back from Malgrat. Hilarious night. Go to my bedroom at 1 and sit re-styling the whole place in my mind. Sit in bed waiting for John to come to bed (It's an old tradition that I am always the last to be awake at night). Seeing Marita earlier and discussing decorating with her has given me the urge to re-do my room. The main problem wit this room is the size, which is ridiculously small, and sharing with a younger brother cannot make matters any better. I decide to go Victorian. Glance at Queen Mary and at 2.30 call it a day and switch off the light.


Saturday July 27, 1974

Work all day - my first full-time Saturday. Leave the YP at 4 and go straight home - completely dog tired on the bus and sleep from Kirkstall to Green Bottom, Guiseley. Strawberries for tea and then leap into the bath.

Peter Mather calls for John at 7.30 and I accompany them as far as Linda's house. John, Pete, Carol and Anne (the American) to to the Cat's Whiskers in York for a very cosy evening, and they are still missing when I retire to bed at 2.30am.

Carol Smith looks gorgeously sexy, wearing a perfect full-length red dress. We sit waiting for the arrival of Chris listening to the 'Band on the Run' LP by Paul McCartney and Wings. Go to several pubs down Apperley Lane before going on to the Stansfield Arms at 9.30. Hell Fire! We didn't get a table until after 11pm! Helen Willis appeared at our table in full capacity as a waitress, and Linda looks daggers at her. She drifted about the restaurant giving shoddy service to one and all, telling everyone in ear-shot that she was 'as pissed as a newt' - which can't have been good for business. Home at nearly 1am and sit with Dad talking about his strange brothers until 2.30 on Sunday morning.


Friday July 26, 1974

To Hare and Hounds in the evening. John is quite entraptured with Carol Shires, the girl from Ohio. Peter Mather sits rarther too close to Carol until we go to the Fox, and from then he devotes his attention to Anne Shires, the better of the two sisters. Don't like the Fox and Hounds really, but Denny likes it, and the crowd fancies a change.

All to Wikis at 11 - except Raymond and Jill, who have better things to do. Enjoy it for a change and dance with Denny for quite a while. John and Carol Shires stood in the centre of the dance floor hugging each other tightly until 1.30!! Dance with Sandra, Dave L's sister, who is a very pleasant lady. The crowd seem to think it amusing that I had picked up such mature company. See Helen, who was once the associate of Keith Brown - looking quite gorgeous with her hair styled much shorter, and looking more well-groomed and classy in general. She eventually went with Paddy Saunders. Pete brings us home in the back of his van - Denny and I clowning around much to the disgust of our friends from the American Colonies. Bed at 2.30. Very pleasant day altogether.


Thursday July 25, 1974

Nice day at the YP. Ring Denny at about 7. John goes out with his lady friend and I stay in by the electric fire, admiring my Pope-Hennessy biography of Queen Mary. Uncle ___ and Lady Halifax come. Haven't seen them since Grandad's funeral in September. Pair of miserable sods, and I escape from them to my bedroom, where I contemplate getting into the bath and think about all sorts of things in general. Sit with Lynn, Sue and Peter in the dining room in order to escape the attention of my relations, who leave shortly after 10. Sue and Peter seem a very serious couple and I can almost hear the wedding bells in the distance.


Wednesday July 24, 1974

John is becoming quite serious over Carol, the American girl. She goes home next Wednesday. Chris says John is insane pursuing this romance when it has no other option but but to end in a weeks time. How positively unromantic. What can be more heavenly than a few days of blissful love before an eternal separation? Anyway, the Atlantic isn't very wide these days. John can almost afford to spend all his weekends over there. Good luck to them anyway.

Mum and Dad go to the Commercial. I sit with a pernod and orange in front of the tv - see the Queen at the Royal Horse Show. George V Cup and Elizabeth II Cup. The Yanks had the upper hand again. Her Majesty wasn't very cheerful.


Tuesday July 23, 1974

Bloody awful day. Sleep in until nearly 10am. Ring Kathleen and take a half-day today and go in at 2. Sick of the YP.

Home at 6. Mum and Dad criticise the painting. John rings everyone to to select a suitable pub for tonight's drinking excursion. We go down to the Hare and Hounds where Carol, Linda and Christine later join us - not forgetting Chris. Quite a good evening. We all pull Peter Mather to pieces and decide, in his absence, that it was about time he was either a) married, or b) living in sin with some sexy woman. All pile in the Ratcliffe bus at 10.45 and home within minutes.

See 'The Royal Show' etc, and knock back a few pernods. Bed after 12.


Monday July 22, 1974

Denny and Marita come and see us at 9. They help to prepare for the return of the family later tonight. Poor Marita falls in love with one of my paintings - and I give it to her. I cannot resist making people happy (big headed swine that I am). Promise Marita that I'll take up painting again because she insists that I have a talent in this field. Miss Akroyd is also thrilled by Wyndham-Logg. Hell, I'm too good to be true.

Home they all come after 11. Not as sun-tanned as I would have thought, but they all look ever so well. Mama is rarther quick-tempered, being very tired, and we sit about talking until after 1. They say the resort wasn't as nice as the Italy holiday but they loved it all the same. Good to see them after 10 days.


Sunday July 21, 1974

Little Sue is 15 years old today and will be having a great time in Spain. Looking forward to seeing them all again.

The party continued into the early hours - and Mr Monkman, the old swine, came round in his pyjamas at about 1am to complain about the noise. I say nothing at all. By 3 everyone is either gone or going - Chris staggers to bed and Denny and I sit by the record player looking through my photo albums until 5. Very nostalgic. We go upstairs and sit on the top bunk reading 'Wyndham-Logg' and I fall asleep leaving her enthralled in the adventures of my creation, Peregrine Wyndham-Logg. In bed till 1pm.

Marita calls on us and we, that is Chris, John, Denny and I, accompany her to the Commercial for a drink. We're beggars for punishment. Come back and eat hot buttered toast and lashings of coffee. They all go at 3 and I make lunch - steak, new potatoes and fried tomatoes. Gloss some doors until 7, watched by John and Chris, who discuss the wild events of last night.

Judy rang me this afternoon, and at the end of the conversation I had a feeling that our love (sarcasm) was over. Glancing through these pages I see that she first came into my life on Friday May 3 - hardly a lengthy relationship. Denny is quite relieved that J is out of the running.

"Rock Your Baby" George Macrae.


Saturday July 20, 1974

To work at 8. Get John a pair of trousers and a shirt from'Harry Fenton'. Home and in the bath listening to Tony Blackburn. Party here at 10.30 after the Hare and Hounds. Judy comes at 9.30. Back to the house for a great time. Mr Monkman comes round in his pyjamas and I tell him to get lost, or words to that effect.


Friday July 19, 1974

Nice day. Meet Denny and Chris in the Generation Bar at 12. Chris goes back to work half an hour later and Denny and I sit drinking until 1.30. Intend to get some clothes for John but whilst passing the Odeon Cinema we notice a Liz Taylor/Michael Caine film and go inside. "Zee and Co". Tremendous film. Finished at about 5.30. Not home till nearly 7. John goes quite insane about my doings in Leeds. "I thought you said you'd finish doing the gloss?" he yelled. Who does he think I am?

General Franco, the Spanish leader handed his powers to the Prince of Spain today due to his illness. I can see we shall have a new King of Spain within the coming week.

With Judith to Wikis after Hare and Hounds. Denny, bless her, refuses to speak to me because of my liaison with 'Miss Screw well'. J and I fall asleep on the sofa and she wakes up in a screaming fit at 5am!!


Thursday July 18, 1974

I could quite fall in love with several women of the need should ever occur:-

1). Dear Denny
2). Miss Carol Smith
3). Miss Judith Beevers
4). Miss Marita Fountain, etc.


Wedneday July 17, 1974

Painting. Nothing further to say today.


Tuesday July 16, 1974

Carry On Painting.

(Page filled with ink sketch of my sister Susan. "A bad picture of Sue, who looks somewhat nicer in the flesh - Not at all fat)".


Monday July 15, 1974

Buy paint for the hall doors. Rainy awful day and typical of summer these days. Denny comes straight from work for tea - sausages and chips, etc. Quite nice. She is annoyed about Judy coming tonight and fails to see the sense in my going out with her. She is of course quite right because neither do I see any sense in going out with Judy, but it makes a friendly diversion from the usual rigmarole. Christine and Linda come at 8.30 with Chris - and Judy follows on at 9. The atmosphere is awful. Judy looks like Hell. Sharon, my distant Kirk cousin comes after 9, with her friend Susan - quite a laughable couple. Go to the Commercial for a few drinks at 10. Back home for coffee - unenjoyable evening really. Dead loss.


Sunday July 14, 1974

5th after Trinity. The sun rises and I go for a walk on the moor. A beautiful morning really - and by 5am I am on Baildon Moor. Back to Pine Tops where I sit in a deckchair in the garden with 'Queen Mary' till nearly 8. Sleep in bed from just after 8am till 11.30. Denny makes breakfast for everyone, and I am surprised that they are alive, meaning Denny and Ron - who spent the night in Mum and Dad's bed and accidentally triggered the electric blanket. They could have ended up more fried than the bacon.

Marita comes at 1pm and we go to the Commercial at Esholt - Dave, Chris, John and Marita. At 3 everyone except D goes to Marita's where we sit in her bedroom and sup Cinzano and home-made marrow wine till after 5. To the Emmotts at 8. See June and feel nothing for her at all. I'm free from her spell at last! Can you really believe it?


Saturday July 13, 1974

YP till noon. Go to 'Just Pants Plus' and get a pair of wonderful trousers - cords - with an embroidered pattern on the bum - £7.00, etc. Home and in the bath at 2 listening to Tony Blackburn.

Dearest Denny comes straight from work for tea - prawn curry - though we don't enjoy it at all after arguing about Judith. Denny says she wouldn't have come to tonight's party if she had been aware that J was joing to attend. To Hare and Hounds at 8.15. Joined by Marita, who looks gorgeous lately, and MM and Christine Jennings____.In order to cheer up Marita I pull her to my side of the bar where we buy each other Cinzanos till after 10.30. Both quite drunk. Marita having to drive as well!! Party a good success. Denny, who is very drunk, finds her old boyfriend, Ron, and they spend the night together. Judith comes at 11.30 and I ignore her - being very drunk -and she leaves 10 minutes later. Fantastic scenes in the bathroom then follow, and I am in the shower with a massive audience of both sexes. Everyone gets thoroughly soaked, and poor Christine W looks like Phyllis Diller with her hair wet. Linda, Carol, Dave B and Keith and myself have an amusing, unrecordable, session in our small, yet cosy, lavatory. Hysterical. Everything ends at 3am when someone put a foot through the bathroom door. I don't want the party to end but most folk drift off. When everyone is in bed asleep I clear up the mess and listen to the 'Super Bad' LP.


Friday July 12, 1974

Quite a nice day. YP as usual. To the Hare and Hounds at about 8 with Chris (who comes at about 9.30!), Christine W, John, Andy, Dave Baker and Carol & Linda S, etc. Ring Judith at a quarter to nine and I say I'll meet her outside the Hare at 9.30.

I enjoy going out with Judith Beevers because Keith is so infatuated with her. Move on to the Black Horse at Askwith, though J and I get lost on the way - arriving 10 minutes after everybody else. We have them on saying we ran out of petrol in a lay-by in some desolate spot. Nice time until 10.30. Back to Pine Tops for coffee.

(PS Saw Mum, Dad, Lynn, Sue, Alison and Christine all set off for Spain this afternoon - hate parting with Mum. Even at 19 I feel too attached to leave her for any length of time.)

J and I sit listening to records, whilst the others, John included, watch a rotten old film on the tv. No lively spirits at all in our crowd. Everyone goes at 12 - J included. Party tomorrow - Yippee!


Thursday July 11, 1974

Denny and I are going to Ibiza on September 14. Obviously, we aren't sharing a room or anything so permissive, though Auntie Hilda says it would be a lot more inexpensive if we did, and goes on the say: "anyway, you don't often find single rooms in Continental hotels, and even if you do they cost the earth." Anyway, Denny refuses to share a room with me._____. Denny, the darling, says it will only cost £16, excluding spending money. Can't be bad, can it?

Quite busy at the YP. Rains all day, and Judith and I are soaked waiting for the train. At 6 Judith R accompanies me to Guiseley Library where I get 'Queen Mary' by James Pope-Hennessy, which I first read at the age of 13. However, the recent murder of Mr Pope-Hennessy urged me to re-read it. Quite a good book, but I detected several mistakes. For instance, he says that Prince Henry (1900-74) was created Duke of Gloucester in 1935 on his marriage to Lady Alice Montagu-Douglas-Scott. This is untrue. Prince Henry was created a duke on his 28th birthday in March, 1928. Pope-Hennessy was done away with by his Irish-born homosexual partner in January, and by all accounts he was a friend of the Queen, who was grief stricken by her grannie's biographers death.



Wednesday July 10, 1974

Very wet and cold day. YP until 12, and manage to get a bus straight to the Emmotts, where I get a pint of Guinness and wait for Denny. She rings at 1 and says her bus didn't arrive, and that she'll have to wait for the next one at 2. I sit in the bar drinking on my own and get through a lot more ale than I intended. Dear Denny rings at 2 and says the same story about no bus coming to her bus stop. I then say I'll go the farm with a bottle of something, and we can then celebrate her 18th birthday from then onwards. Buy a bottle of Martini Rosso at Rawdon Co-op and proceed to stagger onto a Harrogate bus, worse for alcohol, and with the unwrapped bottle of Martini in my clutches. Arrive at Denny's at about 3pm. In 2 hours we drink all the Martini, the 2 of us, and then make a start on her 'duty free' brandy. At 5 o'clock we fall on the floor, unable to retain our balance or sense of perspective. I am almost hysterical when she says______. I accidentally smashed the telephone, and we attempted to sober ourselves by drinking gallons of coffee and eating piles of cheese on toast. Go to the Hare at about 9 - still terribly drunk and wet through with rain. Drink Pernod and lager. MM and Marita come. Mr Akroyd brings John and me home at 10.45. The Gadsbys are here.


Tuesday July 9, 1974

Another good day at the YP. Sarah and Carol and even Janice were in very good spirits all round and it's amazing how cordial relations with ones work-mates enhances speedy and efficient work.

Chat up one of the office girls and she's looking forward to my party on Saturday. Even Judith R and a crowd of cronies are coming, which I never really expected. The gorgeous blond from 'Sight & Sound' invited me to her annual booze-up in August, at Meanwood or somewhere. Hell, the women who are coming next week make the Miss World competition look like a childrens tea party.

Sit watching tv until about 7.30 when Ron and Mary Bosworth, a couple of Dad's cronies, arrive - pushing me out of my seat. Uninteresting evening. See tv and go to bed after seeing 'UFO'.

Auntie Hilda rings and says that Philip Ellis, the boy who lives next door to them in Pudsey, was killed on his motor bike at 8.30 this evening. Tragic. He was only 23 and intended marrying later this year.


Monday July 8, 1974

Wake up at 6am dying for a drink. Stagger to the lounge and attack a couple of oranges to quench my terrible thirst. Leave for the YP at 8, meeting Judith R jut before leaping onto the train. She received the letter I wrote last week, and found it amusing, or so she said. Nice girl Judith is. One cannot go far wrong with a girl like that. A pity she doesn't fancy me - I quite fell for her in the autumn of last year, but am quite recovered now of course. Guiseley Station is looking even more posh in readiness for the Royal visit on July 10. Philip is coming to Denny's 18th birthday celebrations no doubt! Looking forward to getting pissed that night.

Janice is 19 today. She's been a good deal more civil since Stuart Beaumont made a honest woman of her, and I quite like her now.

Ring Judy at about 8.45. She says that Jackie is going to marry the bloke she's been living with for the past fortnight. I laugh at the thought of it. John is quite relieved. Sit in the bath thinking about my next holiday in September. Will John and Sheila approve of me taking Denny to Windsor? They've only got the one spare room. Anyway, I can do no more than ask permission to bed down with the dog in the dining room. Really looking forward to seeing Denny on Wednesday. I expect she will be in love with some Spanish waiter or something.


Sunday July 7, 1974

No doubt you've already decided that Miss Bottomley wouldn't keep her appointment at the Emmotts tonight, which we more or less decided upon on the evening of June 30. Well, you're quite correct in your assumption. The ruthlessness of that female beggars belief.

John and I go to the Emmotts at 8. See Keith who remarks upon the fact that we rarely go out on Sundays. He disagrees with our plans to change the date of the party to Saturday. We leave him standing at the bar, staring down the blouse of the barmaid, who I think is a new fixture in the Emmotts, not having had the pleasure before now. Joined by Bruno, who dislikes this nickname intensely, and dear Carol and Christine W. Chris of course comes very late. Leave the E at 9.30 having decided that June and Susan were not going to honour us with their presence. Hell, I must rid myself of this infatuation for a female on whom I have not laid hands in 11 months!

Go to the Commercial at Esholt: very nice evening. Carol is a darling and quite shows poor CW up. Move back to the Station on Henshaw Lane. Never been here before, but find it very interesting. Chris brings John and I back to Harry Ramsden's where we partake of fish and chips which are much improved on last time. Home at 11.30. Loathe Sunday evenings.


Saturday July 6, 1974

To Leeds with John and Chris in Mr Ratcliffe's small, though efficient automobile. Spend the whole afternoon idling around the shops - none of us actually buying anything, though you can't say we didn't try. The three of us joined finances in purchasing 12 Sobranie Black Russian cigarettes - 37p or thereabouts! Rarther a scandalous price, but worth it entirely. Also buy a copy of 'Landslide' by Tony Clarke, a smashing record, recorded in 1967 - it reminds me of Wikis.

To the Hare and Hounds again. Dave says he hates the places but doesn't actually refuse to go. See Linda West with the same old boyfriend she picked up in the Spring of '73. I expect she'll be tying him down for life. We all move on to the Black Horse at Askwith - sit in the beer garden - where David and John have the usual brawl. Everyone picks on John and he can't say anything without people rolling around in near hysterics. Back to Pine Tops for coffee made by Linda S and Christine W, and a record session. They all go at 12 and I see the tv until 2am. Dave and Chris have got on perfectly throughout, though I do suppose ___will have harsh words to say to David when he learns of this treachery, etc. Even Dave agrees that on the return of the 'Jet Set' from Spain he will be banned from seeing us until Christmas at least.


Friday July 5, 1974

Blimey, you ought to see Guiseley Railway Station since it's been 'done up' for the great event next Wednesday. After all, it isn't every day that His Royal Highness The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, KG, etc, etc, arrives on the platform of our small, yet cosy station. It would be interesting to discover when the last royal visit to our neighbourhood took place.

To the Hare and Hounds with Dave Lawson at about 8. (John too, of course). All the gang join us. Move to the Yorkshire Rose, a pub that I do not like, but John says that the ale is exceptional. I haven't yet acquired a taste for the stuff yet (joke).

Everyone goes to Wikis except Dave, who receives unfavourable reports from his sister. See Andy Dale, who is no longer at Loughborough College of Ed - very pleasant chap. Gets very __at about 1.15 - Carol, Bruno, Christine W and Chris having gone. Peter Mather is hardly the sort of person to sit holding hands with across a candlelit table, if you know what I mean, and John takes the initiative to leave before the closing hour. A lovely warm evening. Home at, on, or in the region of, 2am.


Thursday July 4, 1974

Restless night really, though I managed to sleep until after 11am. Lynn comes up and sits on my bed talking about holidays - she goes to Spain a week tomorrow and her excitement is very obvious. When I see Lynn it brings home the truth in the theory that girls mature a lot quicker than boys. When I was her age, 16, I was ridiculously childish. Lynn is now the equal of any 18 or 19 yr old male, and I'm quite proud that she's my sister.

It is very ironic that my 'love life' is the way it is. The girl whom I desire more than anyone else wants nothing whatsoever to do with me, and on the other hand an attractive, wealthy girl thinks the sun shines out of my backside, and I neither want her, or neither feel fond of her. Miss June Bottomley wants a large, friendly kick in the right place.

My namesake, Prince Michael, celebrates his 32nd birthday today.

Still no word from Denny, holidaying on the Continent until July 10. Denny certainly promised to send her opinion of the place (amongst other things) and I can't imagine what has caused the delay. However, Lynn didn't get a postcard from Mrs Grandison until they'd been home from Ibiza for 8 days! Can't really see the point in sending letters from abroad if you are going to arrive home first.



Wednesday July 3, 1974

Wake up at 9 still not feeling really fit and Mother rings the doctor in order that something can be done to bring back my apetite. Anyway, Kathleen will need a doctors note dated today, because one is only allowed 2 days sick leave without official notification from the local witch doctor. By lunchtime we still have no word from the fool, and so we settle down to a meal and have no desire to eat it. The doctor came at about 2.15 - a nice chap, Dr Jacques, and he diagnoses food poisoning. We can't go back to work until Monday and we have to take it easy. Hell, the bedroom stinks like a mortuary or something equally obnoxious - all visitors turn up their noses on entering the room. Poor Mum keeps trying to kill the reek of vomit with a perfumed spray but this fails to achieve anything.

See more World Cup soccer on tv in the evening. Who cares whether Bulgaria or Bratislava manages to qualify for the fifth round of this stupid tournament?

Ring Chris. He didn't know Andy and Linda had been struck down. He's going out tonight. Also ring Andy, who is in the bath, but Keith speaks to me whilst Andy wallows.

See a good play starring Celia Johnson - a very good actress - and the play had a good story which ended where you expected it to end and not slap bang in the middle of one of the scenes, like so many modern plays tend to do.

Oh, aren't I a bloody awful diarist? Who the Hell wants to know the mundane circumstances of everyday life in the nasty, boring mid-1970s.


Tuesday July 2, 1974

Wake up at nearly 5am. The sun is rising over the Chevin, and the whole room is filled with a beautious glow. Don't feel well, and fall back into a deep, deep sleep. Lynn wakes John and I at 11 when Andy pays a call on us both. He looks really ill. Hear that poor Linda collapsed while speaking to her parents on the phone, and it seems she was the first to go down with it, Sunday night being the start of the plague. After the half hour visit Andy leaves with: "are you going out for a drink tonight?" I almost go hysterical. Lay drowsily listening to the radio until 5. Force down some steak, but do not enjoy it. My apetite is still unaccounted for.

Sit in the armchair till just before 10 then go to bed. Oh, I nearly forgot. Judy rang at 9 and before I could say anything she told me she'd been ill since yesterday with chronic sickness, wobbly knees, etc.'s spreading like the plague....


Monday July 1, 1974

Dominion Day, Canada. Wake at 6am with the feeling that I am about to vomit. Lay perfectly still, hand clasped over my mouth until 7. Up at 8.30 and discharge the whole of yesterdays consumption of food and drink. Sick again at 10. Try to sleep until lunch but cannot because of the acute pain. Dad rings the YP and tells them that I will not be in today. Spend a lousy afternoon laying in a semi-coma under my voluminous bedding. Get up at 6 and sit shivering in a chair until 9.30, drinking arrowroot. Andy rings and says that Linda collapsed on Sunday night and is now in the college sick-bay. Andy himself had the day off work today due to sickness, and four work-mates who were also at Saturdays party are also ill. I now realise we've all been poisoned. Either metal polish in the punch or powdered arsenic in the sandwiches, I don't know, but whatever it was, it's been bloody well effective.

List of victims:
Michael rhodes
John Rhodes
Andrew Graham
Linda Smith.


Sunday June 30, 1974

3rd after Trinity. Lovely day. Mr and Mrs Gadsby and family come at tea time - very surprising, and they seem quite normal and not at all bitchy, vile, disgusting and degrading. Arrange to go to the Emmotts at 8.30. See Lorraine, June's friend, on the bus, who says that she will be in the Emmotts with Sue Bottomley. June is there and is a picture of beauty. I sit with her until 9.30, when Judy comes - looking very attractive indeed, but she is totally eclipsed by the shining beauty of Miss June Bottomley. Never will I forget the bright yellow dress and brown necklace. Judy doesn't like my company and she brings me home at 10. Sit in the car outside Pine Tops until about 11. Chris brings John home and he tells me that when they went back to the Emmotts at 10.15, June, Lorraine and Susan promised to come to my party on July 12. No doubt June thinks she is saved from the hazzards of my passion because I am going out with someone else - Oh, how wrong she is! No one can take the place of Miss Bottomley in my heart - not even the wealthy landowning ladies of the Bradford suburbs. Supper with the Gadsbys. Bed at 12.

"She" by that French chappie.


Saturday June 29, 1974

Up at 9.30 when Dad makes me a coffee, but I don't drink it and fall back to sleep until 11.15.

Only Lynn and I are home for lunch with Mummy and Daddy - a 'bit of nice steak' which is cooked too perfectly for an iliterate editorial librarian to recount.

Go to a party in Baildon with good old Dave, who rang at 7.30, and of course Andy, Linda and Chris. Get rarther kettled with the strong punch, and Dave brings John and me home at 3am. Before the party we went to the Hare, then the Fox & Hounds. Very enjoyable evening, and it was nice seeing Dave again.


Friday June 28, 1974

Ruddy awful day. Up with the early birds and go to the YP in high spirits. Not at all nervous about the ensuing fatal driving test. Have fish and chips at the Albion Fisheries then come home to revise the 'Highway Code' in more detail. Harry picks me up at 2.30 and I have an hour-long lesson in the Horsforth area. Back to the test station which looks official and terrifying, silhouetted against the dark, thundery, stormy summer sky. The chief examiner, a Mr Halliday, gets in the car with me and the test begins at 3.30. Terrible. Half an hour of embarrassing mistakes and idiotic manoeuvering. Back to the test station at 4 in drizzle and rain. Failed. Ah well, better luck next time. Harry comes home with me for tea and everyone offers sympathy.

Ring Marita, who sent me and John 'Good Luck' cards this morning. She offers her commiserations and says that I probably failed because it is the last working day in June, and they have a certain number of people to fail, etc.

Go to the Hare and Hounds at 8. All the gang come. Meet Judy at 9.30. We stay at the Hare before moving on to Wikis, where the three of us, John, Judy and I, spend a pleasant evening. Home at 1.30 and Judy and I stand leaning against the car and discussing all manner of things. Bed at 2. Judy is certainly a lot nicer without Jackie, who can be very overpowering.


Thursday June 27, 1974

(No diary entry. But a family tree of the Royal House of Windsor in my own hand.)


Wednesday June 26, 1974

Death of George IV, 1830.

Tuesday June 25, 1974

YP all day. Nothing much happens, but I can say that Sarah is growing even more beautiful. I could quite fall for her.

Walk home with Judith Rushworth after reading in the EP that the disturbance on the train this morning was due to the fact that we killed two cows in the Green Bottom Tunnel. Not very pleasant I must say. What the Hell were cows doing roaming through tunnels in Guiseley at rush hour?

At lunchtime I went round Leeds trying to find a Royal Albert teapot to match Mum's tea service which we bought in Windsor. Schofield's had no Royal Albert of any description, and Lewis's had every kind of Royal Albert except for 'Country Roses'. That's life I do suppose.

Home at 6.15. Judy rang at 6.30, and in a roundabout sort of way she wanted to know why I hadn't phoned her last night. The darling said she'd been late due to the fact that she'd waited until 9 o'clock for me to ring her. I asked her out on Friday but she says she's staying in. My future with Miss Beevers look somewhat dim. Do nothing all night. Looking forward to having the day off tomorrow.


Monday June 24, 1974

At about 8 o'clock John and I decide to go out and we nip up to the Emmotts after having a conversation with both Chris (who isn't going out) and Jackie, who laughs the whole time that I am talking to her. Arrive at the Emmotts at 8.20. We sit with Ivy and her toothless companion until 9.20. She asks me about June again, and I say that I haven't seen her to speak to since April. John gets the drinks and we make the one pint each last the hour. We get the 33 into Guiseley and go to Orchard's chip shop, where Mrs Orchard says I am much more handsome since when we last met - quite a good complement to receive in a fish and chip shop crowded with sex-starved schoolgirls all pink and scrubbed fresh out of the swimming baths. Walk home with fish and chips. See 'Emmerdale Farm' and reads bits from lots of different books in the bookcase. Bed at 11.30.


Sunday June 23, 1974

2nd after Trinity. Cousin Jackie comes for the day, arriving for lunch at about 12.30. The driving lessons at 2 are quite satisfactory, though I cannot imagine myself as a driver next week. Poor Jackie is separated from her sailor boyfriend, Neil, who is on naval duties in Malta until mid-July. She invites us all to her 18th birthday party on August 3 and she orders us all to bring an escort of the opposite sex. No doubt Denise will accompany me. On the subject of Denise, when I rang her tonight I found very great difficulty in understanding her because of a terrible cold which distorts her voice completely. I do hope she will have recovered by Friday when she leaves for Spain. This Spain business is ridiculous. It's nauseating to think that________.

Mum and Dad take Jackie home at 10pm, and John, Lynn and I see Lord Peter Wimsey on tv. The final part of 'The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club', and it was very good. Also see 'MASH', then go to bed and read until 12.30.


Saturday June 22, 1974

Mum wakes me at 7.30. Get the train and arrive at the usual time. Work quite nice and home for luncheon at 1 o'clock. Sit with Lynn, Sue and Peter in the afternoon whilst Mama and Papa go shopping to Morrisons.

Read through all my old correspondence and find all manner of gems, including written sexual advances from Christine Braithwaite, and horrid letters from the foul Pamela Barlow, who thinks she's a reincarnation of Mary, Queen of Scots.

Invite Dave Lawson to a party we're going to have on the night the clan leave for Spain. I do suppose he'll come. Go to the Hare at 8. Denise is babysitting tonight and her absence will no doubt result in a boring night for me; but I am wrong, and thoroughly enjoy it. See George and Jane who are quite anti-social and almost ignore us. Chris comes late accompanied by Christine W, whose hair is almost solid with all the lacquer. Andy and Linda are good fun. Move on to Otley, with Chris driving, and then back to Pine Tops where Lynn is entertaining her boyfriend, Ronnie, Nigel Lister and Chris Dibb. Mum and Dad have a laugh with Andy and we play records till about 12.30. Chris gets funny about his car, and expects it to run like a Rolls-Royce, which is impossible. They are all gone by 1. We retire to bed leaving the house like a bomb has hit it.


Friday June 21, 1974

My half day. Work 9-12. Busy but not unusually hard. See in the papers that the poor desolate Lady Jane Wellesley was taken to a police station in London after failing the breathylyser test in her Lancia car. No doubt that full of remorse over losing the Prince of Wales, she went out and got herself pissed. Good bloody luck to her Ladyship, that's what I say.

Go to Bradford at 12 where I meet Denise for lunch. Go to The Queen's, a new pub near the new hotel (Norfolk Gardens?) and we have a couple of drinks. A very warm day, and it feels wonderful to get into the shade of the little, cool tavern. At about 2 I go and have my hair cut, and it certainly needed doing - Denise thinks it looks wonderful. We have a coffee together.

Later: Jackie rings for John, but nothing comes of it and I decide not to contact Judy. She isn't a very nice girl_____. Very good looking of course, but that is all.

John and I go to the Hare (and Hounds) where we are soon joined by Bruno, Andy, Christine W and Linda. Where is Carol? No mention of her is made and I suspect Bruno and she are no longer intimate. Denny comes very late, and Chris even later. To Wikis at 10.30. Home 2.30. Helen Willis ignored us all night.


Thursday June 20, 1974

Ring Denny in the evening as she wants to go out somewhere. I say the Emmotts because we don't often go these days and besides, it's very handy for Denise to travel to and fro. John comes back from tech at 8 and we leave on the 8.30 55. With Denny we sit on the wall outside, where we are joined by Marita, MM and Keith. A very enjoyable evening really, though Chris looked slightly miserable when he came at 9.30 in HIS CAR. Marita looks quite nice with her hair flashed - not flashed in a tarty way, but in a very nice sort of way. They go at 10. We go inside where, to our amazement, Judith and Jackie are inside. They behave very bitchy towards Denise, and I tell them I don't like it. They go at 10.20 and so does Denny, whose Papa comes to take her home. Have a laugh with Keith, Chris, John and Martin V-B, who is on the bar. Go across the road for fish and chips and find Judy and Jackie inside. Keith pinches the TR6 which doesn't amuse them very much, and at about 11.15 they bring John and me home. I was in the back and John and Jackie crushed together in the front. They come in and see the last half of 'Cinema' with us, and Judy spills a cup of hot, boiling coffee down the front of my shirt - not a very pleasant exsperience.


Wednesday June 19, 1974

Today marks twenty years of happy marriage for Mum and Dad. She receives a large bouquet of flowers from Dad, and I think they are both happier now than they have been in years.

Go to the Emmotts at about 8. Joined by Chris, Andy and Laura, who is much improved since she's been having regular sex again with Martin. Ring Judy and she says she'll come up. I wait until 10 and stand at the bar drinking on my own, because John and the gang had moved on. The girls, Judy and Jackie, come at 10.15 - and I feel as though I shouldn't have bothered asking them to come. Feel quite fresh, and they think that my drinking so much is shocking. Home in a TR6 after fish and chips - and bed immediately. Not with the girls, but quite alone.


Tuesday June 18, 1974

Our last day in Windsor. Get up with John and Sheila at 9, and we say goodbye. Sheila asks us to go again, and we thanked them both for the very nice time we'd had. Go to London at about 12.30 after buying a couple of records in WH Smiths in Windsor - 'Tom the Peeper' by an American group, which will always remind us of our adventures at the Safari Bar, and 'Kissin' in the Back Row of the Movies' by the Drifters. Sit in the shoddy cafe at Victoria Coach Station until the coach leaves for London at 3. I hate coach journeys, especially when they are on the long, boring motorways, which are becoming an increasing part of our lives. In Leeds for 7.15. Home at 8. Marvellous to see everyone again and Mum is overjoyed by the Royal Albert Old Country Roses tea-set which we bought at the Token House, Windsor, on Friday.

Tom the Peeper link:-


Monday June 17, 1974

Beautifully warm day. John and I take Hugo on the 'Long Walk', in order to avoid all the crowds who have flocked to Windsor to get a glimpse of the Garter ceremony. See Princess Anne in her speedy, little car and she smiled at John and I as she passed us on the Long Walk. Whilst recovering from seeing HRH, Lord Snowdon races past with a young lady in the passenger seat - not Princess Margaret either.

One year ago today I split my trousers in the gents of the Fleece in Horsforth, and I vowed to send June a safety pin on the anniversary of the occasion until either one of us ceased to be. I don't think she's dead so I'll have to send her one.


Sunday June 16, 1974

Another hot day. My nose is terrible today and I can hardly breathe at all. John and I go into Windsor after a late breakfast at 11.30 and we go inside the castle to see the Royal Collection of drawings from the Queen's private collection. Beautiful works by Holbein, Leonardo da Vinci, etc. John failed to be impressed. Afterwards, walk down the 'Long Walk' and see the Duke of Edinburgh in a Range Rover, in sunglasses and shirt-sleeves. We are too taken aback to wave, though he did look at us as he drove into Windsor High Street.

'The Streak' by Ray Stevens.


Saturday June 15, 1974

Another scorching day. Sheila promised to wake us at 7, but I was awake totally unaided, and go downstairs thinking the dear thing is sleeping peacefully, but no she is in the kitchen doing wonderful things with a frying pan and several sausages. What a saint she is!

We leave at about 8 and are in London for 9. Believe it or not I cannot find the palace, and have to ask a native the directions. John is greatly amused by my lack of patience. The sun is very brilliant and when the Queen, Duke of Edinburgh and Duke of Kent leave for Horse Guards it is quite stifling. (Excuse the scrawl, but I cannot write with biro. I've mislaid my fountain pen.) The Queen looks very miserable and pale and not at all pleasant, though the Queen Mother is the perfect example of radiance and beauty. Outside the palace until 1. Due to the heat we go to a pub in Piccadilly - a typical London tavern. Nip down to Knightsbridge and spend a few hours in Harrods before returning to Windsor by coach.

Go to the Safari Park till 11.15. Bed on return after playing with Hugo.


Friday June 14, 1974

Scorching hot day. Up at 8.30 after a terrible night. Far too warm for comfort. John and Sheila go off to work and I persuade John to leave the house at 10.15. See in the morning papers that the Prince of Wales is dating a 20-year-old American, Laura Jo Watkins, and she was in the House of Lords yesterday to see him make his maiden speech to the peers.

Outside Windsor Castle by 10.20. A crowd gathers to see the goings on. See Edward Heath come, then Jeremy Thorpe and finally Harold Wilson. The Royal procession leaves Victoria Barracks, and 5 princes follow the cortege: the Prince of Wales, Duke of Edinburgh, the new Duke of Gloucester, the Duke of Kent and Prince Michael of Kent. We have a perfect view of the mourners, and they process through Windsor to the castle passing John and I not 3 yards away. Didn't see the Queen because she was already at the castle before the funeral.

Because of the heat John and I return to the house, where we see the funeral on tv.

Later: we take John and Sheila to the Hart and Garter in Windsor for a meal. Very enjoyable, and the bill, excluding wine etc, is only £7.50. Home and bed at 12.


Thursday June 13, 1974

Once again at Pinner. This change of air is certainly doing me a world of good, and I am finding no difficulty with the labouring, which I imagined I would. Our last working day.


Wednesday June 12, 1974

Working at Pinner in Buckinghamshire. Very hot and enjoyable day.

The new Duchess of Gloucester is pregnant and the baby is due in late September or thereabouts. A male child will hold the unfortunate title 'Earl of Ulster', and obvious target for the insane Irish extremists and maniacs. A girl will be Lady (Christian name) Windsor.

Me and John are having Friday free from work in order to catch a passing glimpse of the Royal Funeral.


Tuesday June 11, 1974

Up at 8.15 again. Hugo is chasing round the bedroom and he certainly inspires one to leap out and face the day in the face. Go with one of the men, Bill, to a beautiful place in St Leonard's Hill, Windsor, where the old dear, Mrs England, lives in splendour. She has a chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce, etc. Work from 9 till 1, then from 2 to nearly 5.30. A glorious day without a cloud in the sky. Bill brings me back and Sheila arrives simultaneously. I am infuriated by a call received on the tape/telephone receiver thingy from Mrs England saying Bill and I are: 'Two youths, who are so slow it just isn't true.' The silly old cow will not have the pleasure of my services again! Uncle J rings her back but agrees with Sheila and me that she has a complex about young people.


Monday June 10, 1974

Wake at 8.15 with Hugo licking my face. Such a sweet dog he is. Have eggs and bacon for breakfast, and set out for north London in pouring rain to do a days work. Spend an hour up to our ankles in deep mud before John calls off the work and we leave for Windsor.

Hear on the 12.30 news that the Duke of Gloucester is to be buried in St George's Chapel later this week - which means that he's either dead or they've decided to dispose of him without waiting for him to go. Every time I come to Windsor a member of the Royal Family dies.

Me and the "Two Johns" go to Beaconsfield, where we tidy a garden up for a couple of hours, having a laugh with a horrible machine which is supposed to collect the mown grass - it nearly kills Uncle John. Back to Windsor at 6 for an evening meal of chicken with Sheila. Chicken. Mum rings at 6.30 and I speak to her for 4 or 5 minutes - they had a good time in Norfolk and I promise to ring them tomorrow. See the 9 o'clock news. The Duke of Gloucester is to be buried in Windsor on Friday - which should, in Uncle John's words - be 'something to write home about'. Also hear that the new duchess is pregnant - though it is as yet unofficial. Go to the Vansittart Arms with Uncle J and J, where the elder J tells us his life story. Back at 10.30. Bed at 11.30.


Sunday June 9, 1974

Trinity Sunday. Up at about 11. Have a nice breakfast and go with John to the castle, leaving Uncle John and Auntie Sheila to do the laundry work, etc. We walk around the castle, peering through the fence into the private apartments - our curiosity enhanced by the fact that the Queen is in residence - and stand for ages watching a squirrel busily feeding at the foot of one of the battlements. At 3 we take a boat trip to Bovney (?) Lock, down the Thames, which is very boring, and I have a wild sneezing attack, almost like hay fever, which ruins the remainder of the day. We proceed, after our next excursion, to devour half a pound of cherries, then walk part of the Long Walk - with the castle at one end and the statue of George III (the 'Copper Horse') at the other.

John and I go to the Donkey House pub at 8.30 and I persuade J to leave before closing time because of my allergy. See Lord Peter Wimsey on tv.


Saturday June 8, 1974

Up only hours after leaving Wikis. Rain is the first thing we encounter on drawing back the curtains. Bid farewell to the family and off to London go John and I. Arrive after 1 and John and Sheila are waiting for us in Victoria Coach Station. John and I go on to Windsor in the back of a rickety old car with a huge, loveable Labrador, Hugo, to keep us amused. Thus begins our holiday with dear John and Sheila in beautiful Windsor, the seat of Kings.

(As you are aware I do not write masses whilst holidaying).


Friday June 7, 1974

To Wikis in the evening. Do not enjoy it at all. See Lynda Thompson whom I have not seen in at least 3 years. Lynn Dawson is also with her boyfriend, though she doesn't really speak to Christine W, her cousin.

Poor Denny was too scared to come because her horrible boyfriend, or perhaps I should say ex-boyfriend, was in residence. He was indeed inside, but didn't seem bothered by Denny's absence,


Thursday June 6, 1974

Wednesday June 5, 1974

I forsse a scandal which will shortly come into being when Prince Michael of Kent informs his cousin, the Queen, that he intends to marry Patricia Wolfson, a 35-year-old divorcee_____.


Tuesday June 4, 1974

Chris's birthday. John goes to celebrate at the Hare and Hounds with the mob (inc Peter Mather), but I decide that you don't celebrate a birthday twice in the same week and refuse to be involved in any of the celebratory events of the day. I am sat in the bath when they roll home with plenty of ale and money 'under the bridge'.


Monday June 3, 1974

George V born 1865. Edward VIII married Mrs Simpson, 1937. Laura's birthday but we don't celebrate it. It is now June 20, and I can't remember what actually happened today.


Sunday June 2, 1974

Whit Sunday. Wake up at 9 o'clock and only seconds before Christine W rings me to check about church. John thinks I'm completely mad getting up at 9 to go to church on a windy, rarther unsettled Sunday morning, but it makes a change I do suppose. Wearing my new suit I walk to Christine's where Mrs White stands goggle-eyed at me. What is so weird about me attending church? The two of us then called on Linda and we, the three of us, crossed the road to St John's Parish Church. We sat for about one hour and the hymns were shocking - Whit Sunday is supposed to be a joyous occasion but I'm afraid the vicar of St John's didn't do anything to make it so. We had Holy Communion and laughed at one of the parishioners who went back for a second helping of bread and shot of wine! Christine suggests we all go to St Oswald's next week, but I remind her my holiday begins on Saturday.

Driving 2-4 this afternoon and I do quite well. Mother and Dad journey to Nottingham to see poor Uncle Bert, who must be feeling quite sick.

"Sugar Baby Love".


Saturday June 1, 1974

Today is the First of Flaming June. Go sod off.

Friday May 31, 1974

Very hot day. Go to the YP and discover that I am working tomorrow morning and therefore decide to take a half-day today. Quite pleased at being able to escape from the dismal office, and I drift into Leeds where I purchase a new pair of shoes from Ravel, with my new Barclaycard of course. They cost me £9.99. I piled onto a 55 bus, reading the latest edition of 'Private Eye' which features the recently ennobled Mrs Marcia Williams, or Lady Falkender, or whatever she calls herself. Home after 2. Sit with Mama and Papa on the rear lawn with a cup of tea. Take a bath at 4 and get ready for the Chris and Laura celebrations. John and I get the 6.30 bus to the Emmotts and I begin with a double whisky, one pernod and orange, and a Drambuie. George and Jane and many more come at 7.30 and we leave at 8 coming back in the coach ten minutes later to pick up 5 silly females whom we had left behind in the toilets. Darling Denise is completely enraptured by my braces and we feel slightly fresh when Keith passes a bottle of sweet Martini around the coach. Arrive at Kiko's just after 9. Wonderful place, but the enjoyment is marred by my inability to get drunk, but I certainly tried my best to do so. The place is very Polynesian with plastic palms adorning the walls and floors. See Joe and Anne Grunwell, who cannot believe that I am 19. Get back to the coach at 2. Home at 3. Chris was sick on the floor, and I laughed because he threatened us all before-hand about being ill on his precious and expensive bus.


Thursday May 30, 1974

Birth of Henry IV, 1366.



Wednesday May 29, 1974

Up at 9.30. Brilliant day. Lynn and Sue take Mum into Bradford for the day and I go into Guiseley calling in at the library and pay a visit to the bank in order to question them about Barclaycard. The cashier scowled when I said I was 19. Buy 2 pork chops and an Express where I read that Princess Richard of Gloucester is 'probably' having a baby. She hasn't been seen in public since the end of April.

Received a letter from Denny in answer to the one I wrote to her on Saturday - hillarious. I love her. She quite surprised me this afternoon when she rang from work to see what my reaction was to her passionate letter. We had a laugh about it. I made Papa his lunch at 2, then leapt in the bath in preparation for my renezvous with the Virgins of the Yorkshire Post, namely the library girls. At the YP a letter awaits me from Austin-Clarke, which is even more ignorant than the first one he sent me. Kathleen makes a quick exit, wishing to avoid my protestations. Go to the Wellesley with Tony Kelly. A very busy evening. Home at 12. Mum awaits my arrival and I show her my latest obscene letter. She is furious and says she'll ring the swine tomorrow, but I manage to deter her. She tells me that Uncle Bert had his foot amputated yesterday and Dad especially looked most sad. Mind you, Dad becomes deeply emotional at most things. I'd hate to think that my brother would one day be undergoing such an operation. In fact I'd rarther die first. I am very close to my brother. We've been virtually inseperable since birth.


Tuesday May 28, 1974

Up at about 7.30. Back to the YP. Kathleen is once again at the wheel of power, and I tell her of my latest bother with Mr Austin-Clarke, over my money. She looks frightened when I say I've written to the old git, giving me that ' nobody ever actually writes to Mr Austin-Clarke' look. It rains in the afternoon, but by 5 it's brilliantly sunny with some wind. Austin-Clarke comes down to the office, and I thought he wanted to see me but he brought a bloke across to see Kate, whom I discover is to do the night duties commencing June 10. When Kate says he used to work in a travel agency I recall that Denny told me of the creep who worked with her and who had applied for the library post. I must ring Denny to get to know more sordid details about him.

Home at 6. George rings and tells us he's passed his driving test. Do not get out and in the bath until 9. See a film starring Glenda Jackson 'The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat As Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade'. It is of course the film with the longest title and I cannot really say that it is a good one because it isn't. See 'UFO' with Susan after devouring a tin of spaghetti and four slices of toast. Bed at about 1.


Monday May 27, 1974

Bank Holiday in England, Northern Ireland & Wales. Poor Lady Jane Wellsesley is not going to be the next Queen Consort of England after all. In yesterday's papers the Prince of Wales is reported to have made comments about his so-called relationship with her Ladyship and he said he had never had any romantic interlude with her, adding something about all the publicity being: "awful." Getting Britain's heir to the altar is going to be more difficult than I imagined.

Back to the YP. Leeds looked dead, almost as if a nuclear war is about to take place. Felt sick seeing people standing about with suitcases waiting to be rushed away to holiday retreats - not that I wish to go anywhere in particular, but anything is better than sitting in the office all day. Just Sarah and Carol in - Anne is off and Kathleen is still on holiday & I don't care where the hell Janice is. Feel sick with work and get headache with the heat.

Home at 6. Ring poor Denny who says she finished with her latest love on Saturday_____. Judith rings and says she'll come to the Hare and Hounds for a late drink, but I don't really know whether she will or not. Chris says he'll also be at the Hare. John and I go at 8.15. Sit near the juke box with George and Jane having a tremendous time. Chris and Laura eventually join us, Laura being very charming for a change. Keith and Christine sit in another part of the pub. Judy and her friend Jackie come in at 11.30 and we stay at the Hare until 12.15. Back to Pine Tops for coffee and whatever else you, dear reader, thinks should have happened.


Sunday May 26, 1974

Sunday after Ascension. A very hot day. Lynn, Mum and Susan sit on the back lawn with Christine Dibb and John and I prepare to be carried off to Apperley Lane by the young 'get up and go' girls. They collect us the Alfa Romeo at 2.30 - Mum and Sue couldn't resist coming onto the drive for a quick nosy.

We sit watching tv - a horrible film - then listen to records. Judith and I take Louis for a walk and I get covered in filthy horse-flies in the woods at Esholt. Having had no lunch you can imagine the starvation which I was subject to, and this prompted me to make a suggestion about fish and chips. Judith and I went to the nearest fish and chip shop in the Alfa Romeo and we came back laden with that greasy delicacy which has sustained the working classes for about two and a half centuries. Those females are certainly a pair of poor liars. They must imagine that John and I are demented or something. However, we are going to play them at their own game - should be rarther fun.

They bring us home at 7 and refuse to join us this evening for Andy's birthday celebrations. Meet at the Yorkshire Rose again. Andy is 18 today and he must have been drinking for three or four years now. The law breaking swine. On the whole it was rarther a hysterical night out - we did all the pubs in Otley and surrounding areas, coming back to Wikis to find it closed. Carol S and Bruno make a good couple, much to the heartbreak of Chris, who fancies Carol far too much. All back to Keith Brown's. Horrrible. Laura made the coffee which was quite nice. Bed at 2.


Saturday May 25, 1974

Wake at 8.00am. Feeling quite lively and in very good spirits. Decide to go to the YP immediately before having time to change my mind. Arrive at 9.15 to fins Sarah quite surprised because in my note last night I said they'd see me when they'd see me, or something. Janice was her usual silly self. Nice seeing Carol again. Never did I think for one minute that the day would dawn when I'd be missing her, but I must admit she is very likeable and quite motherly, and most unlike Sarah, who arouses quite different emotions within myself - if she only knew!

Think of Judith last night and hope to God we'll see each other again. But I see no use in worrying about it - I've done far too much worrying over females.

The papers are full of Marcia Williams becoming a life peeress. God! Wilson will be knighting his tailor next!

Meet Chris at the Hare and Hounds at 8.30. Ring Denny who tells me she is going with her lover to the Stone Trough. I am horror struck when she says she is going to Bridlington with him for 2 days. I tell her not to go and she sees the light. She says that tonight she will finish with the blackguard - she's only known him since last Saturday!

Judith rings and invites John and I to Apperley tomorrow for a record session in the flat. Of course we'll go. I can hardly wait.

Meet at the Yorkshire Rose. We all go on a pub crawl taking in the Royalty, Malt Shovel, and the Hare and Hounds. Bruno brings John and I home at 11.30 - due to the extension because of the Bank Holiday, and I must admit I was rarther drunk.



Friday May 24, 1974

Quite a memorable day romance-wise. Lounge around all day and do sweet sod all until I go into the YP. Quite a good evening, which I discover to be my last on night duty for a while, other than Ray's day off of course.

Tony Kelly, my drinking companion, suggests we try the Wellesley, which is on Wellington Street, and unless you know anything about famous nineteenth century personages you won't have made the connection between Arthur Wellesley and Wellington. Of course, Arthur was the 1st Duke of Wellington.

Go to Wikis by taxi at 12. All the mob are therein, and Bruno is also amongst the crowd, making passes at Carol Smith, much to the disgust of poor Chris, who is quite infatuated with her. Chris goes at 12.30 - having a lift from Raymond. John is with Judith B and I soon take my rightful place. At 2 she brings us home and I invite them in for a coffee, which they willingly do, remaining until 3.45. We sit about reading our LP covers and arguring about pop singers in general. Then it happened, at about 3.45, outside Pine Tops, leaning on the Alfa Romeo - we kissed & for a brief minute or two I was in paradise. She says she isn't going to Wikis anymore and when I say she is 'nasty and evil' for not coming to the party at Pontefract next Friday she agreed, adding: 'I don't like parties.' I now realise just how easy it is to become infatuated with someone.

PS - saw dear Helen, who was once the property of Keith Brown, at Wikis, with another man. We exchanged niceities but that was all.


Thursday May 23, 1974

To coin a trendy phrase: 'Piss Off'.


Wednesday May 22, 1974

Dad wakes me at 11.30 - such a nice feeling that I don't have to go to the YP until Thursday night. Hear on the 10.30 that Ball, the man who tried to kidnap Princess Anne in March, has pleaded guilty and the chap is to be detained in a mental hospital 'during Her Majesty's Pleasure', which is quite appropriate. The swine sent a ransom note to the Queen demanding £3m. Lunch at 1.0pm.

Go to the Emmotts with John and sit with Martin V-B until 9 when Chris finally decides to arrive. Almost immediately we go outside to get a bus to the Hare and Hounds - we see Andy passing, and we tell him we are going to Menston and he says he'll take us - Keith rockets past us, skidding in the rain. Go to the H & H until 10.30.


Tuesday May 21, 1974

A cold, rainy day. Mum and Dad go to Nottingham to be with poor Auntie Eddy, who is beside herself with worry. Lynn comes home from school at 2.30, her exams having finished, and she prepares for Al Dixon's birthday celebrations tonight. Listen to a few records and then leap into a hot bath. Leaving at 4 I think I have avoided the rain but to my horror I find a deluge awaiting me in Leeds.

YP quite busy and we nip out at 9 for a few drinks in the Central where we see Peter Lazenby, John Morgan, etc. Pete tells me that the County Arcade in the city centre was razed to the ground earlier this evening. Pity really. Get taxi at 12 and find everyone in bed. Do likewise.

The EP revealed that the Duke of Edinburgh is to visit Guiseley on July 10. The duke is to attend a meeting at Aireborough Grammar School before going on to Bradford, no doubt passing the end of our lane.



Monday May 20, 1974

Up at 7.30. See Judith Rushworth at Guiseley Train Station and Pamela. J was in hysterics about my list of possible bridegrooms which I drew up last week. She says she'd like to see more. At the YP I discover that Kathleen is on holiday for a week and that Anne is in charge. She is furious. Ray didn't come in last night and all the filing and work is piled up waiting to be done. She rings Ray and his wife informs us that he is ill. I immediately offer my services for night duty and Anne is greatly relieved. Sarah looks beautiful - the week without seeing her has made me realise just how pretty she is. Leave at 9.10 for home, passing Carol on the way. Mum comes in at 1.0 and we have fish and chips for lunch.

Valery Giscard d'Estaing is the President of France - the youngest in one hundred years. No doubt he'll put Wilson in his place about re-negotiating the terms of entry into the Common Market. M. Mitterrand would have been a better president from the Labour government's point of view, but I am glad the right wing managed to scrape through with a victory. Communists presidents are all very well, but not when they are only 22 miles across the English Channel!

Read Anita Leslie's 'Edwardians in Love' and see that 64 years ago this very day King Edward VII was buried at Windsor. I expect that morsel of information thrills you to bits.

YP at 5 (again!). Quiet and pleasant evening, and go for a drink with my racing correspondent friend. Home at 12.15 to find Mum and Dad drinking coffee. Poor Uncle Bert is seriously ill in hospital again and Auntie Eddy rang from Nottingham & was very upset. Poor Sue took the call and it choked her. Mum and Dad are going to see him at the earliest opportunity tomorrow. Mother has said all along that Uncle Bert was far worse than any of us realised and it now seems she is correct. She says they'll amputate his foot, or even his whole leg, within the next few months, and Mum is invariably right.


Sunday May 19, 1974

Rogation Sunday. Find the lounge deserted and the camp-bed tidied away. Poor Chris must have regained consciousness in the early morn and decided to go home.

At 1.0 Mum goes for her driving lesson and John and myself follow 2-4. A really hot afternoon which proved most satisfactory driving-wise. Home at 4 with sweat pouring down my back. Sit in a deck chair with Lynn and Christine Dibb, not all in the same chair though, they had a blanket on which to recline. Sue and Peter, having been for a lengthy walk, arrive back at Pine Tops and have us in hysterics - Peter's idiotic shyness_______.

See tv all evening and go to bed at 12. Back to working 9-5 tomorrow and I am not sure that the idea is is appealing to me or not.

"Sugar Baby Love" by the Rubettes or something.


Saturday May 18, 1974

Lynn and I go to Bradford where I spend £9.50 on a beautiful cheese-cloth shirt and a pair of trousers - long overdue. In Smiths we see Denny working in the travel agency and we spend an hour with her. Lynn and Denny get on so well together it's s shame they don't meet more often.

At 7 I ring round and make plans for the evenings entertainment and Chris says we'll meet at the Hare and Hounds. I ring Denny and tell her to be at Menston for 8. Chris rings back and says: 'We've changed plans, Mig,' which annoys me, and he says the venue is switched to the Dyneley Arms. However, I say that John, Denny and I are going to the Hare and Hounds and we'll probably see Chris later on at Wikis. At the H and H Denny is furious and says that Bruno brought her down and then drove off leaving her outside the pub. But we do enjoy ourselves and John sits with George Waite and Jane Lockyer and the latter gets horribly drunk and sits weeping in the centre of the Tudor Lounge much to John's amusement. Denny and I sit by the juke box and are joined by June's friend, Lorraine, and Christopher North, who I don't like. Lorraine tells me that June got in to Bingley College of Education, which is very nice. Whilst I was 'pointing Percy at the porcelain' Lorraine attempted to extract information from Denny, who played along with the game superbly. I came back and made Denny laugh by telling Lorraine that D and I were 'just good friends' followed by a knowing look and a titter. Lorraine was sent packing her suspicions aroused. No doubt June will soon know of my night out with Denise Akroyd, her arch-enemy. We walk to Wikis, and John follows on the bus. Denny and John are the first to dance, and Chris comes over alone at 12. At 2, Denny is picked up by 'an old friend' of the male sex, who proceeds to monopolise her for the remainder of the evening. Chris, having nowhere to go, comes to our place where I set up the camp bed in the lounge. I collapse in bed at 3 and sleep until 11.30.


Friday May 17, 1974

Woken up by Dad at 1.15pm! Mum comes home expecting to find the lunch prepared but is sadly disappointed by the sight she receives. Dad is working at 2, so you can imagine the hurry he was in. A boring afternoon and go to the YP as usual. Hear on tv whilst in the office that 30 or so people have been blown to bits in Dublin. Kathleen worked until 10 - and I'm sick of writing about work.

Taxi at 12 to Wikis. Groping about in the subdued lighting I stumble upon Chris and John at a table and then saw Peter Mather, who bought me a drink, Andy and of course Linda, Christine W and Laura. To my surprise I see dear Denny, and we, that is Chris and I, have fun playing with the large zip on Denny's suede jacket. On my way to the bar I bump into Judith, of Apperley Lane fame that is, and we drift into a corner with a couple of glasses and laugh at Philip C and Paul, who come over to try and 'break us up'. At 1.30 she takes me back to her place where I drink coffee and play with a little dog. But no 'goings on' if you know what I mean. Lift home at 3 and she doesn't even let me kiss her goodnight, but we exchange telephone numbers and she says she'll ring me next week. Bed at 3.10.


Thursday May 16, 1974

Believe it or not I'm still not in the writing mood so you'll have to be disappointed again.

However, something just occurred to me which is rarther interesting: namely the separation of darling Denny from the 'Jet Set'. She clammed up like an oyster and refused to say why she is no longer spending her weekends with ____.Obviously, the 'Jet Set' are OK, but only in small doses, and I fear Denny is not one for spending her Saturdays trapped in a darkened cinema with David, who according to Denny is becoming even more strange - discarding his trousers in mixed company again and for no apparent reason.

I heard on the 10 o'clock news at the YP that the Prince of Wales is to occupy Chevening, a stately home in Kent, which was left to the nation by the last Earl of ____ Damn! It isn't like me to forget a title, but I can honestly say that the late Noble Earl has slipped my memory for the moment, but I can say for certain that his peerage began with the letter 'S'. Ah well, it will come to me sooner or later. Anyway, Chevening may well become as famous as Sandringham one day, that's if HRH lives in it long enough to give it an aura of Royal dignity. Let's home to God he will marry and produce lots of little Waleses within its historic walls.


Wednesday May 15, 1974

Please excuse me today, but I cannot think of anything original to say about my boring, terrible existence. Sorry, but that's the way it is.


Tuesday May 14, 1974

Do not waken until nearly 12! I really ought to be ashamed of myself. Climb into the bath and put my radio in a suitable vantage point. Hear on the 12.30 news that Dr Coggan will become Archbishop of Canterbury in November. I will be able to tell my grandchildren that the Archbishop of Canterbury once commented on my speedy typing! An unlikely tale I know but I can assure you it certainly happened. Mum home after 1pm, and because it's a beautiful day we decide to sit in the garden. Get the train at 4.20 in Guiseley and spend a quiet evening at the YP. Nothing interesting of any importance and I don't intend writing any more today.


Monday May 13, 1974

Woken at 9.15 by the phone. It is Kathleen who asks if I was at the YP last night. I say of course not, then realise I should have been at work yesterday and then take a night off in the week. I feel dumbfounded. Kathleen is not at all mad, but she is expecting the complaints to roll in this morning. The fact that my working week begins on a Sunday never entered my head. Dress at 9.30 and then go for a walk into Guiseley. Buy a couple of newspapers and call in at the bank - deposit £4, and walk home feeling quite proud.

Old Mr Monkman comes round at 11 and asks if I can lend him an instrument which levers spark plugs out of sockets. I say I don't know what he's talking about and he'll have to wait and see Dad. Have a coffee and look around for something to read having finished 'Mrs Fitzherbert'. Find 'Have His Carcase' by Dorothy Sayers, which I still have not completed. At about 12 I ring the YP and speak to Kathleen and she says nobody's complained yet, but the night staff don't come into until 5 o'clock. She's taken it very well. This horrible forgetful incident has ruined my day.

Looking in the mirror, which, I hasten to add, is no regular pastime, I realise my hair is in a terrible condition and decide that Wednesday morning is to be the day of judgement. It's five months since I last had anything done with it! Hear on the 1.30 news that Princess Anne was thrown from her horse 'Doublet' at Windsor this morning and that the horse broke a leg and was later destroyed.

Go to the YP for 5. Quiet evening really.


Sunday May 12, 1974

4th after Easter. Good lunch and feel like a lazy afternoon, which unfortunately cannot be because of driving lesson. I do quite well, but John makes terrible errors throughout the whole of his lesson. It was entertaining anyway.

Mum and Dad go to Marlene's at about 5, and Sue is at Peter's all day.______. I think the boy will shake off his shyness and insecurity within a couple of years.

See tv all evening. Read Mrs Fitzherbert by Anita Leslie. The poor soul married George IV in the 1780s but was never acknowledged in law. Socially however she was always given royal precedence. Bed at 12.

"Waterloo" by Abba.


Saturday May 11, 1974

Up at lunchtime and do nothing all day. Andy mentioned something about a disco at Benton Park when I saw him last night and John and I decide to go along tonight to see if it's any good. Chris agrees to come, agreeing to meet in the Emmotts first. Sue, Peter, Martyn and Al all come to the Emmotts before going along to Benton themselves. Heavens! Sue isn't 15 until July! I feel guilty about entertaining a sister in a dubious public house four years under the lawful age. See Ivy, who looks ill. She says she hasn't seen June or Sue B for weeks, and last saw them in the Stone Trough, a pub which June never liked. Chris, John and I move on to the Trough, and I had a whisky, which Denny persuaded me to drink at Wikis last night. The Benton thing is a tragedy. See Keith with Helen! She is her usual self. Also see Glynis, Helen Taylor, Vilma and Judith Lea. We leave at 11 and John and I have fish and chips in Guiseley before going home.


Friday May 10, 1974

Wake up at 10.45 with the alarm clock ringing merrily.(Excuse the handwriting but I am sitting up in bed resting the volume on my knees - not a very satisfactory method at all). Doing nothing until Mother comes home for lunch, then she surprises me by saying she is having a driving lesson at 2 - which means this is the second one this week. She gets so nervous about drivming, so much so that she makes everyone else petrified too.

Go to the YP by train at 4.20. Arrive early as all the girls are just leaving. I have a very good night and finish all my routine work by 8.20! Judith Rushworth rings at 9 and we talk for 15 minutes about nothing in particular. I ring Mum but Sue tells me they're out and I joke with her and Lynn for a further quarter of an hour or so.

Read through the Duke of Windsor's file and am especially interested in the abdication period. The poor Duke of York hated the idea of kingship and from newspaper accounts it seems as though the king and his brother finished up deadly enemies. The refusal to give the duchess the style and title of 'HRH' stems from this rivalry. Anyway, I was very glad to see that Princess Margaret and Lord Snowdon, now visiting Canada, found time to call on the old Duchess of Windsor, who is visiting New York. Margaret and Edward VIII have a lot in common.

My taxi came at 12 and I was in Wikis at a quarter past. Meet dear Denny at the top of the stairs and she is worried about John, who disappeared about ten minutes before my arrival. I go check the lavatory but he is nowhere to be seen. Have a good deal to drink and have fun with Denny. Judith, the Alfa Romeo girl, comes over and sits with me and I act with great civility considering the way I have been treated. She gives me a lift home and we cry with laughter to see John staggering up the lane at 2.30. Where had he been? I follow him in and discover he'd slept on a wall behind Wikis, after going outside to get some fresh air. A likely tale, but it must be true. Bed at 3am.


Thursday May 9, 1974

Quite a nice day actually. Poor Judith R was rarther downhearted this evening after undergoing a distressing scene at the bank. Anyway, I soon got her out of it, and we had a hysterical walk home. Tomorrow, when I am working nights, I intend compiling a list of eligible bachelors, purely for fun of course, and send it to Judith. The poor girl wants to settle down with a fat account and a peer of the realm, and knowing Judith, she'll do it. Home at 6.30. Dad tells me a good story about Prince Philip. Jim Barton, a local policeman, was on duty at Leeds City Station when the Queen and Prince Philip were in the vicinity; anyway, Barton was standing guard all alone in a siding as the Royal Train slowly pulled out, passing within yards of the PC. Feeling very much embarrassed the policeman stood to attention and saluted. To his amazement the prince, standing at a window and sporting one of his famous grins, raised his hand and thrusted two fingers into the air, leaving poor Barton stunned on the windswept siding. Of course, I don't believe it. It seems very much in character with the prince, but would he do such a thing to a policeman? Besides, one cannot believe anything a bobby says, especially in the Leeds area anyway.

See tv in the evening and toy with the idea of ringing Philip Cartwright about the incident last night. Read 'Mrs Fitzherbert' by Anita Leslie. Very good.


Wednesday May 8, 1974

Nothing at the YP. At 8 John and I go to the Emmotts where we sit with Laura, who is unusually cheerful and she manages to speak to both John and myself. Keith comes at 8.30, and we talk about films until Chris finally decides to walk in at about 9 o'clock.

Philip Cartwright comes up and says the bird with the Alpha Romeo, Judith or something, really fancies me and wants to see me in the Queen's tonight. John, Laura, Keith and Chris all leave at 9.30 and Philip and I go to the Queen's, where the two girls are assembled. We spend about an hour, the four of us, and at closing time they sod off with a couple of blokes leaving Philip and myself looking like a pair of silly buggers. I hate bloody stupid women, and especially women who make decent chaps look like idiots. We both shoot off and Philip drives like Hell let loose. Home at 11. Poor Philip apologises for wasting my evening. Judith, one of the tarts, rings me at about 11.15, but I act very cool. Wounded pride and all that. Must ring Philip tomorrow to see what further developments have occurred. John comes in not long after me and says he's been at the Hare and Hounds. Bed at 11.30. Interesting evening. Women make me sick.


Tuesday May 7, 1974

Leap out of bed at 8.30 in time to hear the news. Chancellor Brandt of West Germany resigned last night after the recent incident with spies in his entourage. All day at the YP speculation grows as to whether Edward Short will resign the deputy leadership of the Labour party, and oppisition to him is growing in the Commons. President Nixon is also quaking in his boots about possible impeachment and no politician, it seems, is safe from vile insinuations ravaging the media. A purge is necessary to rid the Commons of these infernal corrupted MPs.

NB: Get lost, Michael. You are always writing bloody stupid things in your diary.


Monday May 6, 1974

Holiday in Scotland. Very busy day and feel dog tired. Glad to get home. Mum enjoyed her driving lesson this afternoon and is doing quite well by all accounts. The Queen was in Yorkshire today with the duke, and arrived at RAF Finningley - which is remarkable really because the Royal Family rarely venture into the wilds of South Yorkshire.

See 'Lord Peter Wimsey' at 9.30 - so cleverly portrayed by Ian Carmichael. Bed at 11.30 after seeing 'Emmerdale Farm' trash on YTV. Judith can imitate the lingo perfectly and keeps me in hysterics with her: "Can you smell gas, Dad, or is it me?"


Sunday May 5, 1974

3rd after Easter. Rise at 12. Weather is quite cheerful until about 1.30 when it suddenly dulls over and begins to rain. Have lunch and a beer and a couple of glasses of horribly sweet sherry. John and I have driving lessons at 2, and we both go together, that is John sitting in the back of the car until 3, and then me sitting in the back between 3 and 4. Get back for tea and find Mum and Dad gone, Sue and Peter doing homework, and Lynn watching tv. We all have tea together.

I read "Anne and the Princesses Royal" by Helen Cathcart, which is a shocking book and I'm sure that I could write better. Cathcart has written hundreds of books on royal personages but the authenticity I find doubtful - too gossipy by far.

No one rings in the evening and when Sue and Peter go and see 'Mash' and 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid' at Yeadon Cinema, only Lynn, John and myself remain all evening.

See Charles Laughton in 'Hobson's Choice' - a very good film indeed. Bed at 12. Mum and Dad are quite intoxicated, though more with high spirits than alcohol.

"Waterloo" by Abba.


Saturday May 4, 1974

Mum gets me up at 9 and I go to Leeds on the 9.20 55 bus. Kathleen, Anne and Janice are working, and I do my usual routine until 1.30 when I go, leaving horrid little Janice to fend for herself. I wander out into the Headrow and find myself deep into a march of the Leeds Communist Party, which is hardly my cup of tea. My intention is to go to Burton's Arcade, but the heat, crowds of communists, and my lack of patience makes me decide not to bother.

Home after 3 and have a couple of chicken sandwiches and two beers. Mum, Dad, Sue, Peter, John and one of Dad's police friends are watching the FA Cup Final between Newcastle and Liverpool. Princess Anne presented the cup to Liverpool who win 3-0. The poor princess looked disgusted when the crowds were singing their own version of the National Anthem.

At 6.15 MM rings. He says that David, Marita and himself are going to the ABC Cinema in Leeds and asks me to join them. I say I'll ring Marita which I do at 6.30 after first contacting Chris. Marita picks me up at 6.45, with her mother, and we then get David, then MM. We go see 'The Great Gatsby' - starring Mia Farrow and Robert Redford. The others hate it, but somehow it doesn't have the same effect on me, and I enjoyed it. We all go back to MMs_____. Marita looked dead. David seems to have something wrong with his eyes. Marita brings me back at 1.30.


Friday May 3, 1974

Off all day. Go to Morrison's with Dad and get the weekly supply in. Poor Mummy is still ill and remains in bed until lunchtime. A warm afternoon, but do absolutely nothing at all. Go to the YP on a 33 bus, but do not get to the office until 5.15 and Kathleen, who is chatting with one of the lads, doesn't seem too pleased at my lateness. She goes at 5.30 and I carry on until midnight. An excellent evening and hardly no interference from any of the lads, except one who wanted pictures to illustrate an article on alcoholism, which I couldn't find anywhere.

At around 11 a party of ladies came inspecting the place on a guided tour and I displayed a large selection of coloured photos of Princess Anne's wedding on my desk to give them something to rave about. I never fail to satisfy these visitors, and the guide never suspects that I am only doing these things in order to make his tour all the more exciting.

At 12 I get a taxi on account and get out near Wikis. Find John drunk inside, and see Chris being pestered by Helen, who immediately accosts me and makes me buy her a drink. I pick up two girls and at 2 they take me to their flat on Apperley Lane in a white Alfa Romeo, if that is how one spells it, and Philip Cartwright and Paul also come. At 3 Philip brings me to Hawksworth Lane. John was mad at not being invited.



Thursday May 2, 1974

My half day. Before going to the YP I promise to __ Mum the lunch, because she wanted to stay in bed because of a bad head. At 12 I leave the YP and get a pound of steak in Guiseley. Come home and make Mum her lunch, and then Dad comes in at 2 and I make his. Do the cleaning up and housework in general then sit with a book feeling slightly miserable. Mum gets up and joins me in the lounge - Dad sleeps in the chair until 4. The boredom of the afternoon makes me do something really insane; ringing MM and asking him if he'll accompany me to the cinema - and probably Marita. He says he's revising for the 'A' levels but asks me to contact Marita, who may well be interested in my offer. Ring her at 5.15 and she consents to being my chaperone for the evening. We meet at 6.20 and go see 'The Adventures of Barry Mackenzie' - which I saw about six months ago in Leeds. I love the film and Marita was also very much amused by Barry Humphries, who never fails to reduce an audience to hysterics. Film ends at 10 and I walk home, having fish and chips on the way - home at 10.30 which can't be bad at all.


Wednesday May 1, 1974

May is here again. Not feeling too happy at the moment and I feel as though my love life is lacking. However, I haven't as yet broken my resolution not to write to June, though I would still marry her at the first chance, even tomorrow, if she'd let me.

Work all day. Home at 6 to find John on the phone talking to Chris who passed his driving test this afternoon! Everyone is thrilled. John and I go to the Emmotts at 8 and are joined by Andy, Christine W and the delightful Carol Smith. Keith and Laura come later and John and I go with them to the Commercial whilst the others go with Andy. We expected to see Mum and Dad in Esholt, but they didn't turn up. At 10.30 John and I walked home, arriving at 11. Very enjoyable evening - the Commercial is weird, but quaint.


Tuesday April 30, 1974

Rose at 7.30. Very warm and sunny. Surely, today must be the best day we have experienced this year. Very busy and at about 3 Kathleen was furious about missing pictures of Billy Bremner which for some reason are in London! Janice was a bitch all day and I was relieved to get away from her at 5. Anne and I walked down Wellington Street in the warm sunshine which was a fantastic feeling after being cooped up in the YP all day long.

See the state visit on the 6 o'clock news. Queen Margrethe positively dwarfed the Queen, who was 7 or 8 inches smaller. The Queen was in powder blue and the Danish sovereign in canary yellow. Feeling furious that no consensed showing of the visit is on tv tonight. Evidently the BBC think that the sporting activities of Jack Charlton, and the prospects of having Francois Mitterrand as President of France, is more important than the visit to this country of a foreign head of state.

Do the lawns with Dad and find the lawnmower sadly dilapidated since I last saw it. Tv in the evening is, as I've already said, dead, and I turn, in my boredom, to 'Have his Carcase' by Dorothy L. Sayers.

I am working on Friday night and am taking Thursday afternoon off and when I told Helen this she look like she'd been told she had six months left to live. Sadly, my Fridays will be spent at the YP for several weeks now. Bed at 12.


Monday April 29, 1974

Warm and clammy all day. Quite busy at the YP. Kathleen gives me a claim form for my taxi expenses for last Thursday and I go to the cashiers where I emerge several minutes later with two crisp, new pound notes and four silver ten pence pieces. This sudden glut of wealth brightens and cheers the remainder of the day no end. We laugh at Sarah, who is somewhere in the midst of revolution-torn Portugal, and think it an amusing coincidence that she was also in Greece last summer when when the coup d'etat took place and the monarchy was 'axed'. Obviously, Sarah must have a diverse influence on the sanity and reason of foreign nations. Let us hope that she will go to Russia next year, for who knows, the Tsar may well be back in the Winter Palace, thanks to Sarah!

See part two of Dorothy L. Sayers book 'The Nine Tailors' - which is quite enthralling. Ian Carmichael plays a brilliant Lord Peter Wimsey. The books could have been written especially for him.

Make toast for supper and laugh at poor Peter who had to sit through 'The Way We Were' starring Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford at Yeadon Cinema. Love stories aren't quite young Nason's cup of tea.

Cousin Jill had a birthday today - the exact numerical situation fails me, but I think she must be nearly 12 or 13 if my shoddy calculations prove correct.


Sunday April 28, 1974

2nd after Easter. Up at 11. Rains all day and it's quite a typical Sunday. Have remarkable lunch - my favourite - beef and then read all afternoon.

Lynn, the poor creature, is bogged down with her CSEs and I fail to deter her from doing too much revising.

At 7.25 see a programme on the BBC about Queen Margrethe of Denmark, who pays an official visit to Windsor from April 30 to May 2. A very attractive woman - six feet in height, and the youngest reigning Queen Regnant in Europe. Not that she's got any competition however. Queen Juliana (of Holland) is about 65 and of course our own dear Elizabeth who is 48. The Queen of Denmark can actually walk through the streets of Copenhagen without so much as a stare or inquisitive glance - impossible for our monarch in the UK. Bed at 12.

'Waterloo' by Abba.


Saturday April 27, 1974

Rise, if that is what you can call crawling out of bed with a hangover, at 7.45. Lynn and Sue say I look 'shocking' and I certainly feel it. Work was terrible and I was glad to get out at 11.55. Walk to the station with Anne who tells me she is leaving in June. I tell her that the YP will not be the same without her, but she laughs and thinks I am making fun of her. The poor devil is going to Cheshire to do social work or something of that type of charitable nature.

Have lunch and listen with Sue and John to 'Radio 5' which isn't so funny as it was last week.

Capt Mark Phillips is the victor of this years Badminton Horse Trials and I watched the final stages of the tournament on tv this afternoon. Capt Phillips rode the Queen's horse, and Her Majesty gave the cup to her son-in-law. Princess Anne was fourth I think. The Queen looked remarkably fashionable again and over the past 2 years everyone has noticed that HM is becoming more and more well dressed.

John goes to the H & H and Mum and Dad go to Burley. The girls go out and leave me alone with the tv. See 2 good films and read 'Have his Carcase' by Dorothy L. Sayers, which is another edition of the Lord Peter Wimsey saga - very good. Bed after 1am.


Friday April 26, 1974

Rise at 8.30. Determined not to go into the YP until 10.30 at least. Leave on 9.30 bus - the one which goes the long way round and eventually get to the office at 20 to 11. Kathleen sorts out my trouble with Austin-Clarke, or I hope so anyway, and I work steadily until lunch.

See Marita, looking thinner, in Leeds. She's committed some atrocities on her hair and looks semi-negro or something! But still, Marita is a great character. I had to laugh when she said she'd caught something off MM. One always thinks of VD when people say things like that, but she soon lets me know it is shingles or the symptoms of shingles anyway. We said we were both bored with our evenings entertainment of late, but parted without attempting to remedy this 'We Hate the Emmotts but we Can't Help Going' attitude. Eat sandwiches in the park. Go to the dentist at 4.30 - just a check up of course, and arrive home at 5.45.

Believe it or not, I am staying at home this evening, and I think Chris and John may follow suit, but they aren't made of the same stuff as me - givers in, that's what they are. Later: I've joined the 'givers in' and been to the Hare and Hounds where all the gang assemble. Chris and I have a great laugh with Christine W. Go on to Wikis where I get drunk and spend all the time with Valerie.


Thursday April 25, 1974

Relax all day. Get books from Guiseley Library: 'Clouds of Witness' by Dorothy L. Sayers, which is very good; and the memoirs of Rafaella, Duchess of Leinster, which I haven't had time to inspect yet. Cold, but sunny day.

Go to the YP at 5. Kathleen is busy all evening and we see little or nothing of each other. Feel very irate when I see they haven't given me extra pay for working Thursday night, and Kathleen says something to the effect 'you could bang your head against a wall', etc, which I doubt would do very much good at all.

File pictues of the Queen of Denmark, who is to pay a state visit to the UK next week. She certainly looks a lovely lady, and I intend watching the BBC programme about her on Sunday.

Get a taxi at 12 but feel astounded when he says my journey is not on account! It costs me £2.40, which is obscene when one takes my pay into consideration. Austin-Clarke may as well be a stuffed effigy for all the work he does, and they (the YP that is) are not going to get away with this. Bed at 2 after sitting tucked up with Dorothy L. Sayers, Lord Peter Wimsey and a cup of cocoa.