Thursday October 14, 1976

Pouring rain all day again. It's been like this now for three bloody weeks. All I can say is that I hope Denis Howell, MP, picks up this new VD germ from his mistress. Minister for Drought indeed!

Meet Judith R outside the YP at one o'clock. Make a mad, frantic dash under umberellas to the Central [Station] where we sit until 2 o'clock with her doing most of the talking. I like listening to Judith. She tells me just how tactful she was on Tuesday not mentioning today's meeting in the presence of Lynne. I agree. She then tells me I'm going to be her next blackmail victim. I disagree.

Home at 5.15 in pouring rain. Rain, rain and rain. Oh, when will it all end?

Newsworthy things: Dame Edith Evans, the actress of 'Lady Bracknell' fame, is dead. Nothing else at all, so far. [It is only 6.43pm so anything could happen between now and midnight - MLR]. Oh yes, Winnie the Pooh is 50 years old today. Good old Pooh Bear. Royal items: King James II is 343 years old today and Jane Seymour, third wife of Henry VIII, bit the dust on this day in 1537. Miscellaneous anniversaries: Nora Rhodes passed her driving test on this day in 1974.

Meanwhile: 12.23am. To say it's pouring down would be something of an under-estimation. Pissing is the more proper adjective. Goodnight.

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Monday September 27, 1976

A wet, awful day. Do you recall how I said on Saturday that people who mention the so-called drought to me will have their balls crushed in a vice and be made to sit through a complete performance of the Max Bygraves TV show? Well, I'm now increasing the sentence to the death penalty. Silly Denis Howell wants his head examining.

My photographs of Christine White's 21st and my weekend at Thornton-le-Dale came today. All good, but one of Lynne and I, and one of Lynne at Castle Howard have not developed.

From 9 until 11am I painted the gloss bits of the bathroom. Quite a pleasant job really. John rings later to say Maria is going into hospital at 2pm tomorrow for tests, but we assume immediately that the time has come at last.

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Saturday September 25, 1976

John's 20th birthday. The first time that one of 'us four' have been away from home for a birthday. A wet, disgusting day. To make matter's worse Lynne's car on Edith's drive, doesn't start and it takes Dad and David 30 minutes, in pouring rain, to get the bloody thing going again. Lynn comes with Lynne and I to Leeds. The less said about shopping in monsoon-hit Leeds the better. Get John a bottle of 'Aramis' for his birthday and buy 'Givenchy Gentleman' after-shave for my own personal use. Lynne buys a white polo-necked sweater and Lynn got David a couple of presents because they've been going out for exactly 2 years next Tuesday.

Mention the drought to me mate and I'll crush your balls in a metal vice. Harsh I know but you can't expect to antagonise me and get away with it Scot free. [Or is it Scott free? And from where does this saying originate?]

[Large gap at foot of page where I was supposed to record my visit to Eileen Byram's party in Dewsbury. It is sadly lost to history.]


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Thursday August 26, 1976

I've committed a ghastly crime. After 21 years as a law abiding member of society I have now fallen into the abyss of degradation and sin. What has this man done to to place him in eternal damnation, you are all asking? At 11.20pm last night I, Michael Rhodes, did wilfully and knowingly drink a glass of WATER. Yes, I know you cannot find the words to describe this diabolical action. Sorry everyone. I'll never do it again. It's not as if I like water anyway.

Latest DROUGHT News: The Thames is now non-existant. Evidently it dried up in the early hours of the morning, and there's nothing Mr Callaghan, or anyone else for that matter, who can do anything about it. The elephants at London Zoo are having to bathe in dirty, used water - poor things.

Lynne comes up at 7.30 and we watch 'Top of the Pops' with Mum. At 8 o'clock we go to the Hare where we have some revolting cider which virtually cripples us. Lynn had crippling pains in her abdomen, and the fish and chips in Otley didn't help matters. We go on to the Black Bull [Otley], but after half an hour she still feels off it. We come back to Pine Tops for coffee and look at the photo albums. Lynne shows Mum Peter's [21st birthday] party pictures. Hear that CB rang te ask if I'm going to Thornton-Le-Dale on Friday. I'm not going this weekend, but the weekend after. I'm working on Bank Holiday Monday.

Dave L goes to Gloucester next week & so on Saturday night it will have to be a 'do' at Oakwood Hall. No Lynne there of course, but no doubt I'll get by. I love freedom occasionally.

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Wednesday August 25, 1976

Gasp...Gasp.. I'm still here anyway. The heatwave continues. Jim Callaghan has appointed one of his Cabinet ministers to be 'Minister of Drought'. It's a good idea really because the general public likes to have sombody to blame for the bloody awful mess we are all in. I for one will not be sorry to see our water supplies cut off. It's just what this bloody country needs. Britain needs such a crisis to help get us all back on our feet. We didn't have soccer hooligans in the war did we? Why was that, do you think? I'll tell you why. It's because all the young lads were up to their eye balls in a Malayan swamp, or sat playing 'knock out whist' in a trench in the Dardanelles. You mark my words. Stand-pipes in the streets and on the highways of Britain will act as a unifying force to the nation and before you can say Ethel Kennedy we will have a Tory Government in office once again. Margaret Thatcher may look daft, but under that peroxide exterior lurks a fiendish little brain.

Lynne comes up for tea at 6.30 and at 7 o'clock we're in Bradford to see 'The Outlaw Josie Wales' at the ABC with Tony - and surprisingly, with Carol J. I can never fathom Mr Brotherwood's relationships. One minute it's on, and the next ....The film is very good. Clint Eastwood as a cowboy. Back to Tony's new dilapidated flat until 12.30. Carol was peeved about something.

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Monday August 23, 1976

Need I mention the weather? Just take it from me that things remain just the same until I give you further notice.

At work Sarah tells me that Peter [Baker] says he is a divorcee, but she doesn't believe him, and thinks he may still be married. She thinks it would be interesting to investigate him. We need a private detective on the job.

Marlene, Frank, Auntie Mabel and the children come here after tea. At 7.30 Sue, Pete and I walk down to Silverdale Drive to see John & Maria's house. They got the key on Friday morning. John was putting up a cornice in his dining area but it soon became too dark to work. After a quick inspection of the upstairs paintwork he brings us home in the VW. Mum had departed to Maria's to see Molly.

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Monday August 16, 1976

The drought continues. Trees are dying now, and I have noticed especially that the grass verges are no longer green. The route now from Leeds to Guiseley is reminiscent of the journey from Palma Airport to your Majorcan holiday resort. The drains are beginning to smell like Spanish drains too. The BBC hasn't seen anything like it since records were first kept in 1972.

At 9 o'clock tonight Lynne comes up to see me accompanied by Jean and another friend, Julie. The three of them take me either to the White Hart or Half Moon at Pool-in-Wharfedale. I've forgottren which one. Julie, a thick, half-witted young lady was in the same form at St Mary's [RC school] with Carole and Maria. She tells me that Carole, after a dispute with the headmaster, rushed home and devoured a bottle of asprin and had to have her stomach pumped. I've never heard this one before. She also related to me the tale of how Mr & Mrs Phillips attempted to gas themselves because of financial difficulties. Sad, but humourous. After two or three drinks in the forgotten pub we returned to Pine Tops for coffee. Dad is startled to see me with three ladies. Lynne is in hysterics about something, but is too convulsed to relate the cause to me. Must be my influence.

Sue & Pete come back from the Hare & Hounds where they'd had a meal. Pete stays in John's old bed for the night because Mr & Mrs Nason are away. Read 'Eva & Adolf' until after 1am.

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Sunday August 15, 1976

9th after Trinity. A hot day. Wake at 8am to find the bedroom light burning brightly. Must have fallen to sleep very suddenly last night because a full cup of cold coffee is next to the bed along with Eva & Adolf. Read until after 6pm in the garden. Just Mum, Dad, Lynn & David. Lynn ________________. I never imagined for one minute that I'd be interested in Eva Braun's relationship with Hitler but the book is very interesting. Get through more than two thirds of the volume.

Eat very little at lunch because it's too hot. How long is the heatwave going to last? The garden is incredibly parched and everything is dying off. The water supplies are dwindling and we'll have to resort to drinking horrible beer instead. If I never see water again I wouldn't give a damn. It's colourless, boring and tasteless.

CB rang to say Roger finished with her last night and suggests we go out one night next week. Could this be the beginning [again] of the greatest romance the world has ever seen?

At 9 o'clock Chris comes and we go to the Fleece at Horsforth, then the King's [Arms], and finally the Queen's [Arms]. Andy, Linda & Carol are in the Queen's. Chris says Pete M is bringing Carole to Christine White's 21st on Saturday, and last night Peter had mischievously introduced her to people at Richard Mayer's 21st as "Carole, my girlfriend, who is three months pregnant."

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