Monday September 18, 1978

The Prince of Wales won't be too pleased if he's read in today's Times a proposal that the Queen should abdicate in 2002 (the year of her 50th anniversary on the throne) in favour of a youthful grandson! So by passing Charles in the succession. Perhaps Mr Rees-Mogg should be castrated for allowing this to pollute his newspaper.

Dave L, back for two days from Hockley Heath, phoned and asked if I'd like to accompany him and Christine to the pub tonight. I was thinking CB was still at the Italian Grand Prix, but obviously not. I phoned Jacq and asked if she'd like to come too as an alternative to doing her washing and she immediately said yes. I told her I am penniless but she says she has £6 and so we'll be able to scrape through without embarrassment.

Dave came up at 7:45 and we collected Jacq at the bus stop and then went for Christine in Horsforth. Our first port of call was the Old Ball, which is unbearable. The bar there reminds me of the school dining hall at Fieldhead. From the Old Ball we tormented the inmates of the Emmott Arms, and then we shot off to Pool~in~Wharfedale and the Half Moon._____________________________________. However, it was so good to see Dave & Christine.


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Saturday September 2, 1978

New Moon 17:09

Sun rises 06:14 sun sets 19:46

Found myself in a sleeping bag at Farthingstone, Old Pool Bank. In a bedroom with Dave and Pete. Trevor is in another chamber deep in slumber. A nice guy is Trevor.

Audrey gave us 'Puffa Puffa Rice' for breakfast (Ugh) and drove us home at 11, or thereabouts. Jacq, Lynn, Sue and the girls look well. They say they spent the night at the Elma drinking 'Jelly Beans' (I believe a conglomeration of vodka, Pernod, blackcurrant, and I think lime juice).

I spent £15 last night and most of us seem to have spent the same. Oh God.

Jacq and Lynn went shopping to Otley just as Mum and Dad returned from shopping with JPH. He's thinner these days, taller and more of a handful. He sat in Mum's coffee sloshing it everywhere and blew up the kettle. He'll be two in a few weeks time.

Tonight Jacq and I went to Leeds to see 'Revenge of the Pink Panther' at Odeon 2. Peter Sellers in undoubtedly the funniest man upon this earth in 1978. Jacq laughed until I thought it was becoming quite dangerous. Tears of laughter cascaded down my face.

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Sunday November 6, 1977

22nd after Trinity. Felt ghastly this morning. John brought JPH round after breakfast. He's grown tremendously, crawls backwards over the floor and says 'hello', 'flowers', 'dog', and 'daddy'.

Mum and Dad don't appear aggravated about the numerous guests asleep all over the house, and after they'd gone all I got was a sigh from Mum and she said that perhaps I'd invited a few too many to stay under the one roof.

John G, Phil, Kath, Michelle and Steve left at 11am because Kath and Phil have a luncheon appointment with relations. A damned shame because I intended having a big 'do' at the Commercial. A short, quiet visit really, but they can't be idiots permanently like some nameless beings are.

Mum looked after JPH and John, Dave, Sue and Pete and I went down to the pub. Joined by Tony. Afterwards we went down to Ings Lane (or Avenue) to look at a house that Lynn and Dave fancy.

Mum with Lynn , Dave, and Edith.

Back home we have sangria with the Blackwells, then more wine, sangria, wine, sangria, wine, wine, &c. Edith looked ill, old and semi-senile. Quite suddenly the woman's gone down hill. I'm sure Ernest knows she's faded too. She just sat, not speaking, and so dull.  Not a bit like the Edith of old.

At 8.30 Dave, Sue, Pete and I went with Tony and Martyn to meet Chris and Pete M at North Rigton. From here we went to a pub at Pool in Wharfedale, where I was knackered, miserable and thoroughly boring.

Martyn was attempting to be 'bitchy' and sarcastic with me but failed miserably so I had to give him lessons. He was joking with Pete M about my moustache but I beat all the quips when I said I'd had it grafted 'off my arse'. Martyn went hysterical at this. If a job's worth doing it's worth doing properly. I can think of nothing more pathetic than a wise cracker who is neither wise nor particularly cracking. Back home by 11.

Pete M told me I could have Lynne back at any time I wished and that she still loves me. He also went on to say I was slipping in my old age and that the millions of my female followers, who have always been my trade mark, have now deserted me. For Christ's sake, who does he think he is? Peter Mather giving me, Michael Rhodes, advice on the female species! That is the laugh of the month, I think.

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Sunday November 14, 1976

Wake up at noon feeling quite refreshed really. No ill effects at all. However, Mum and Dad cannot make a similar boast. They were at the Grunwell's residence at Castleford from 9 o'clock last night until 6.35am. Mum is in bed clutching her head.

The Prince of Wales is 28 today and of course it's the Cenotaph Day and the third wedding anniversary of Princess Anne and her 'impotent stable boy'.

Dave L.

Denise didn't arrive. What can have befallen her? Watch the film 'Murder Ahoy' on the BBC until after 5 o'clock and then after tea Dave L makes a surprise visit. I didn't even know he was home. He's going for his hospital check-up tomorrow. The two of us go down to John and Maria's where he sees the baby for the first time. Molly and Jim follow us in quick succession and the two of us make a quick exit at 8 o'clock. Just as Dave drops me off Tony arrives. We go to the Hare & Hounds, the Station on Henshaws Lane, the two pubs at Pool [in Wharfedale] the White Hart and the Half Moon, the Scotts Arms at Sicklinghall and then back to the Half Moon - having a half pint in each tavern. They only familiar faces we spotted were Andy and Linda at the Station. Fish and chips in Otley and then home for 11.30 to hear that Chris and Pete had been looking for me.

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Monday August 16, 1976

The drought continues. Trees are dying now, and I have noticed especially that the grass verges are no longer green. The route now from Leeds to Guiseley is reminiscent of the journey from Palma Airport to your Majorcan holiday resort. The drains are beginning to smell like Spanish drains too. The BBC hasn't seen anything like it since records were first kept in 1972.

At 9 o'clock tonight Lynne comes up to see me accompanied by Jean and another friend, Julie. The three of them take me either to the White Hart or Half Moon at Pool-in-Wharfedale. I've forgottren which one. Julie, a thick, half-witted young lady was in the same form at St Mary's [RC school] with Carole and Maria. She tells me that Carole, after a dispute with the headmaster, rushed home and devoured a bottle of asprin and had to have her stomach pumped. I've never heard this one before. She also related to me the tale of how Mr & Mrs Phillips attempted to gas themselves because of financial difficulties. Sad, but humourous. After two or three drinks in the forgotten pub we returned to Pine Tops for coffee. Dad is startled to see me with three ladies. Lynne is in hysterics about something, but is too convulsed to relate the cause to me. Must be my influence.

Sue & Pete come back from the Hare & Hounds where they'd had a meal. Pete stays in John's old bed for the night because Mr & Mrs Nason are away. Read 'Eva & Adolf' until after 1am.

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