Friday February 23, 1979

_. Warm & sunshine. A spring-like day with the birds clucking overhead and the daffs forcing themselves up from 'neath the leaden earth. I think our esteemed prime minister has done a deal with the lads at the World Meteorological Conference to arrange this, and if the weathermen at the BBC suddenly have a wage rise of 60 per cent we'll all know what's happened.

At lunchtime I met Sarah and Delia at Len's Bar. Delia was moaning about the head of the Leeds museums, who refuses to let her decorate the museum at Kirkstall with garlands of flowers, inside and out. She's already been refused permission to drape garlands over the famous Leeds lions at the Town Hall and is mortally wounded by the general apathy and dreary attitude of those employed in local government. It would appear that Harewood House is Delia's only retreat, and venue for her floral displays, but she hated her last encounter with the Countess [of Harewood] .

Delia discussed Jo T_____, the previous flower chairman,  saying she is undoubtedly 'perverted' and between sips of bitter lemon, adds that the woman is 'slightly lesbian'. Sarah spluttered lager everywhere. Or was it cider?

Delia says I ought to be a scriptwriter. __________.

Back to the YP at 2:30 totally cheesed off with my financial situation. Looking around the office I don't care what I do in future just as long as I can escape the clutches of the Yorkshire Post.  I do so miss 'The Times' - since that paper collapsed I long for the feel of that delicate, exquisite paper between my fingers. Alas, no more.

Sat tonight over whisky with Mum & Dad. We discussed the question of wages and what different workers deserve. Are ambulance men really necessary?  If Field Marshals were to withdraw labour would anybody notice? This dragged on for hours.

Saw Peter Sellers in a late night movie which was hilarious. The man is undoubtedly a genius. Bed at 2am.

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Friday January 5, 1979

Carol J is away from the YP with 'chest problems' It's a big enough chest. Sarah wore a fur hat all day at her typewriter saying it was because her hair is so filthy and she cannot subject me to the sight of it.

Two lords died today and both peerages became extinct. Viscount Harcourt died without an heir, and so too did Earl Beauchamp. How many years will it be before Burke's Peerage can be published in a pocket~sized edition?

Took a half~day and went to buy Mum and Dad a pepper mill for their birthdays. Spent £5. Also, devoured fish & chips from Harry's (Ramsden's) before heading for home in the sun and snow at 3pm.

At 6pm Lynn and Dave B came to carry me off to Burley-in-Wharfedale. We had tomato soup and ate pizza and chips, and drank beer, apricot wine and a quantity of whisky. Dave was pale. He had a headache. He looked at death's door. We watched "What's New Pussycat" on TV. I thought of Judith Rushworth, who loves Peter Sellers. In fact Sellers deserved an Oscar for his performance as Professor Fassbender, the psychiatrist.

Dave had to go to bed at 12, but Lynn and I lasted until 1.30. She does tend to bite his head off.

-=-

Tuesday September 12, 1978

Sunny day. Busy at the YP. Howled with laughter this morning when Michael Brown, the Religious affairs correspondent, phoned me from Huddersfield to tell me he thinks the new Pope (John Paul I) looks very much like Peter Sellers. A preposterous remark, or so I thought, but on inspecting the photo files I see the resemblance is remarkable.

I can see that before very long I'm going to become quite sick of our grinning, circus-like performer of a pontiff.

Other news: The Queen Mother is to become the next Lord Warden of the Cinque Ports. She'll become the first woman to hold the office, an ancient one, whch dates back to the time of King Harold. Previous Lord Wardens include Churchill and Sir Robert Menzies. Just what the job entails escapes me. I'm sure it will be nothing strenuous.

A photo of Lynn and Dave appeared in the EP. I'm going to miss Lynn, you know. Just look at the photo and that brilliant, glowing smile.

I met Jacq at lunchtime and we ate like horses in the park instead of our usual damp luncheon at the Ostlers. She says she may be 'buggering off' from Leeds. _________________.

Dave G and I met later near the Polytechnic and went for a drink at the Fenton, where the National Front and homosexual intellectuals gather to discuss tactics. He's having a riot in Leeds and last night ended up in the Original Oak with a sun~tanned lady just back from a holiday in Ibiza.

-=-

Saturday September 2, 1978

New Moon 17:09

Sun rises 06:14 sun sets 19:46

Found myself in a sleeping bag at Farthingstone, Old Pool Bank. In a bedroom with Dave and Pete. Trevor is in another chamber deep in slumber. A nice guy is Trevor.

Audrey gave us 'Puffa Puffa Rice' for breakfast (Ugh) and drove us home at 11, or thereabouts. Jacq, Lynn, Sue and the girls look well. They say they spent the night at the Elma drinking 'Jelly Beans' (I believe a conglomeration of vodka, Pernod, blackcurrant, and I think lime juice).

I spent £15 last night and most of us seem to have spent the same. Oh God.

Jacq and Lynn went shopping to Otley just as Mum and Dad returned from shopping with JPH. He's thinner these days, taller and more of a handful. He sat in Mum's coffee sloshing it everywhere and blew up the kettle. He'll be two in a few weeks time.

Tonight Jacq and I went to Leeds to see 'Revenge of the Pink Panther' at Odeon 2. Peter Sellers in undoubtedly the funniest man upon this earth in 1978. Jacq laughed until I thought it was becoming quite dangerous. Tears of laughter cascaded down my face.

-=-

Monday June 27, 1977

Stayed in bed until 10.30 which was bliss indeed. It's the sort of thing Rachmaninov would have composed a concerto about. Rhaphsody on a Snoozing theme, &c. (Oh no, I've spelt rhapsody incorrectly).

Pine Tops wine-making ...

After bacon, eggs and mushrooms Peter took Sue and me to Morrison's for more wine-making provisions for Mama. We are going to resemble a brewery before very long - I hope.

All this wine-making takes our mind off the weather at least. Never have I seen such a damp, dismal June. 1976 may well have been the driest period since Henry VIII was a lad but this must surely be the wettest since Noah was up to his tricks.

Lunch with Sue, Pete, Mama and Papa. Watched a film this afternoon on the topical subject of the British working man and strikes (bearing the Grunwick Dispute in mind). Peter Sellers played a shop steward and in one scene, where he is departing from home one morning for picket duty, his wife (Irene Handl) says: "It appears to me, Fred Kite, that you only do any bloody work when you're on strike." Quite an apt statement from little Irene, I fear. Half the bloody pickets in the Grunwick dispute have worked more hours recently than they ever did before. You mark my words.

Evening: Assisted Mama in her wine-making activities which I found enthralling. We made mead as well as a gallon of orange wine. The dining room resembles a distillery, or brewery, or whatever they call a wine-making complex.

I almost phoned Carole today but then thought I'd let her stew, brew, or ferment in her own juice for a few days before doing so. However, I do not feel all that mad about Saturday night - but it was most devilish of her I suppose.

-=-

Saturday May 21, 1977

Wake up to a bright, sunny day at 12.15. Breakfast consists of a cup of coffee and becomes a very sombre affair when I open two letters. One from Hough (dentist) saying I owe him £3.50 for dental treatment I had in March, and the other from Barclaycard playing Hell at the way I've spent £243.70 when my credit limit is £200. Sod the lot of them.

Naomi gives me a lift to the Hare and Hounds bus stop and by 1.30 I'm in the off licence in Ilkley buying a few bottles for the match. Dumped the bottles in the shop (Smiths) and went to the Rose & Crown (with Tony) where we were joined by Linda and Ruth. All friendly enough but _____.

Just Tony and I back at the flat watching the FA Cup Final with three or four drinks. Manchester United beat Liverpool 2-1. At half time we spoke to Stuart W in Paris, and then again when Manchester scored first, and at the final result. Tony was ecstatic.

To Harry Ramsden's for tea and then up to Pine Tops where JPH is staying the night. Hugh Macdonald is home from Canada for a few days and so John and Maria are celebrating with the Macdonalds at Wath tonight.

Ruth.

Later: Tony, Martyn and I go to the Rose & Crown, Craven Heifer (Addingham) and the Barge at Skipton. We had quite a laugh. Back a bit pissed to the flat where we were joined by Linda and Ruth. Linda and Martyn are very quiet and I ended up with Ruth on the floor. Martyn said later that we seemed to be having a right "go". I blame the Carlsberg lager and Ruth's cheap Spanish white wine.

I have never had such a pleasurable experience with a married woman before. Something happened and an angry Tony ejected Linda from the flat telling her to ______. Both girls left, but I remember nothing about it.

In hysterics at 'Help' by Peter Sellers. It's the B-side of his version of 'Hard Day's Night'.

Martyn said nothing all night.

Monday March 21, 1977

What a wonderful weekend. But in no mood to discuss it this morning. Thoroughly tired out.

Cheered somewhat by the fact that our beloved government may be resigning this week. Mr 'Callagas' may be packing his bags and shifting his belongings from Downing Street at this very moment. Is Margaret Thatcher's moment of truth upon us already? You just wait and see. Callabum has only been in office for ten or eleven months.

Go to Boots and collect a packet of photographs that have been waiting for me since April. Yes, pictures of Lynn's 18th (birthday) at the Yorkshire Rose.

Walkabout, starring Jenny Agutter.

Bathe and eat tomato sandwiches in front of the television. Watch a Jenny Agutter film about a nubile schoolgirl abandoned in the Outback with a solitary Aborigine. It quite put me off my food.

The Queen was on the BBC news. 'Go it, Old Girl!' Oh, and Peter Sellers is ill in hospital. He was only married (again) last month. He was similarly taken ill shortly after marring Miss (Britt) Ekland too - a coincidence? Over indulgence perhaps?

Yes, the more I think about the weekend the more I come to realise that life isn't all violence, politics, boredom and Margaret Thatcher, Thatcher, Thatcher as it is so often portrayed on 'Panorama'. Life is bliss. Life is a great joy.

Retired to bed at 12.05am. Read 'The World of Mr Mulliner' by Wodehouse.

Do you like this red ink yet?

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Sunday February 15, 1976

Septuagesima. Woke up at 11.30 with a hangover. I must have been pissed last night.____.

I don't like the way Christine treats Carole at times. No love is ever lost between them. One thing that's particularly grating is the way Christine insists on calling Carole "Fanny" in a very cold manner.

Marlene, Frank & the children come round after lunch and they bring John a little engagement gift.

Carole rang at 2pm and we went to see 'The Return of the Pink Panther' at Leeds with Susan and Peter at 5pm. The film is hilariously funny. Peter Sellers' accent is brilliant. We got a bus home - the the White Cross - and the four of us devoured fish and chips at Harry Ramsden's. Carole felt as though one of her headaches was coming on and I deposited her on a bus homeward. I returned home in a descending fog.

Poor Carole is still having parent trouble and it all stems from the business about me being 'tight-fisted'. The Phillipses are funny buggers and I have long harboured the opinion that Lady Phillips is deranged and psycopathic, but it's hardly my place to go into the old hag's faults here in these pages. She is so horrible that she would in fact make a perfect mother-in-law.

Bed at 12 o'clock midnight.

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Sunday August 5, 1973

7th after Trinity. Awake feeling rather ill. Last nights chase around Horsforth in torrential rain cannot have helped the situation. By lunchtime I realise I am not going to get through next week without bearing the burden of a terrible illness. By 6.0 I cannot stop sneezing.

Sit through a Peter Sellers film which is very funny, but by 10.30 I am in a shocking state. Go to bed with a rum coffee, hot water bottle and two phensic tablets. Sleep soundly.

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