Saturday October 21, 1978

Sun rises 07:34 Sun sets 17:56

I came out of my coma at approximately 8 o'clock this morning. I thought, once again, that my end had come. These feelings of forthcoming doom, yeah of death, are recurring and on an increasing and alarming scale.

I took Jacq into town where she had to show her face at Dacre Son & Hartley and I got a bus home for 10 o'clock. Had a cup of tea with Mum and Dad and then fell into my wondrous bed until 3pm when I was awakened by Lynn on the phone wanting Alison's number. She wants to ring to discuss details of the wedding next week. I went back to bed until 5.

I emerged to have tea and within minutes Lynn and Dave arrived from Pool (in Wharfedale) and she was sobbing like a baby. The worst has happened. John P called off the wedding this morning. Alison will be distraught. Lynn had spoken to Mrs Dixon, who had only been told ten minutes before. The situation is terrible. _________________________.

I was out to Leeds again at 7:30 and Jacq and I went to the George where Haydn and his friends were gathered before heading to another party. Neither of us were in party spirits. Tiredness from last night and the sad news from Winchester just seem to have flattened the whole evening.

We went back to the Y.W.C.A and drank fruity punch and watched Iranians, Greeks, and other various nationalities leaping around to Boney M and the delights of 'Rasputin'.

At 2am and after a 5ft Persian homosexual had asked me if I wanted to dance with him, I sent Jacq to bed and proceeded to walk home. It was almost 5am, and drizzling slightly, when I fell through the door. Knackered.


-=-

Wednesday October 18, 1978

St Luke

Laughter. Sarah and I went out at lunchtime and I posed for some ridiculous locket photographs in a booth at the bus station. Quite hideous. I have never been photogenic, but these are the ultimate. Mel Hulme, the EP photographer, also took pics of me in the YP car park to illustrate the article going in Postscript regarding my adventure on the Father's Day trip to Blackpool in June. Tony Green came over after lunch and took down the sordid story of my motorway excursion from Hell. I'm sure he thinks I am raving mad.

The new Pope is still alive, and I think well, which seems strange after the recent epidemic of papal stiffs over the past few months. Dr Cobweb, our revered Archbishop of Canterbury, is to attend the Pope's installation in Rome next Sunday. He was criticised last month for failing to attend Pope John Paul I's 'knees up' so I suppose he is making amends.

Lynn and Dave had a bump in the car on Queensway this morning. All the front of his car is smashed in but neither of them sustained injury. Lynn was slightly shook up. Dave estimates damage to the spitfire at £100, and the offending other driver also suffered in the entanglement.

-=-

Tuesday October 17, 1978

A dull, uneventful day.

Sarah was wearing a locket today, but on inspection it had no photographs in it. I jokingly offered myself as a candidate to hang next to her breast for all eternity, and she leapt at the offer. We are going to do something about it tomorrow.

Mum and Dad went out to tea with Auntie Mabel. Lynn came home to see Susie and me. Sue was very quiet and Lynn commented on this. Lynn says she's only been married for six weeks and already it feels like a life time. Dave came at 8 straight from his game of Badminton. Joined by Peter at about 8:30 ~ he was in a hideous temper. Squabbling with Sue about nothing ~ almost out of habit. They act more like an established married couple than do Lynn & Dave. Oh, belt up. Michael. What do I know?

No contact with Jacq today. Watched 'Roots' on tv.

-=-

Sunday October 15, 1978

21st after Trinity

Woke up at about 11 ~ on the floor at Lawn Road. Had breakfast and watched the deluge outside from the window. Pissed it down. Dave slung a few records on his stereo and that that set the tone for the day. We almost froze to death too, until they lit the fire at about noon. I don't think they can afford the coal.

At 12:30 we ventured over in the rain to the Red Lion. The landlord their is probably the most miserable pub proprietor in Britain. Rude just isn't the word.

Lynn excelled herself at lunch. Pizzas, roast potatoes, peas, &c. She was beaming all day. She loves seeing us all. She told us she's been really homesick and close to tears at night time. Bless her.

In the afternoon I slept in an armchair. John, Maria and JPH came at 5:30. My nephew walked around the house with his arms clasped behind his back. He loved the journey home in the dark pointing at the 'man in the Moon'. I can already detect a Scottish accent. I must be imagining things.

At home watched 'Lillie Langtry'. It's too slow. Bed at midnight.

-=-

Wednesday September 27, 1978

David the brother~in~law collected Jacq and I in Leeds at 5:30 and took us to Burley~in~Wharfedale. Lynn poured sherry down us and we sat by the fireside. Susan and Pete arrived at 7:30. Dave went out for fish & chips and we had a collection and bought another 'pop bottle' full of sherry from the proprietor of the off~licence store at the end of Lawn Road (is she Mrs Beasley?). Lynn, clutching an empty pop bottle, is making far too many calls on this lady.

We sat until 10:30. I took Jacq to a bus stop and deposited her on a 733 to Leeds and then went back to say goodbye to Lynn. They are unbelievably short of money. It's refreshing to find someone else in financial ruin and destitution. They look so happy though.

-=-

Saturday September 9, 1978

Sun rises 06:25 Sun sets 19:30

A dull, dismal day, with the occasional damp patch. Lynn and David's wedding day. She was divine, beaming and beautiful. Even my nerves were bad this morning, and the number of people in the house, and all the excitement didn't help matters. The wedding was soon upon us. Lynn dressed in white saying goodbye as Miss Rhodes. Dad was very pale. We found a whisky bottle.

Dad was close to tears as he took Lynn on his arm down the aisle, and when he witnessed the marriage after the ceremony he signed one of the certificates incorrectly and the Reverend Mr Ward had to tear a page from his register in front of the entire congregation. Auntie Mabel told Mum that Dad had wept as he walked down the aisle, but this is a slight exaggeration. The ceremony was moving, the reception excellent. Uncle H(arry) never arrived ~ which is just as well.

The only mishap of the day was that the DJ was two hours late and the disco didn't start until 9 o'clock. I mixed with most of the guests. I discussed women with Uncle Peter and chatted about Evelyn Waugh and satire with Uncle Bert. Frank (Harwood) measured me for a new suit in the middle of the dance floor ~ and that will set me back £20, or so. (These suits fall off a lorry in the vicinity of Burton's).

John and Maria brought Jacq and I back to Pine Tops at 12 and we mucked around in the dining room for hours. Dave had carried Lynn from the dance floor up to a room at the hotel and my little sister was gone forever. Things will never be the same again.

-=-

Tuesday September 5, 1978

The weather is revolting. Mist and rain. It's a matter of a few hours to the wedding. I'll be so glad when it's all over. Mother is behaving like one of the nastier Third Reich leaders. Lynn and Dave have squabbled more in the past few days than in the whole of the four years they've fraternised.

Interesting conversation today. Dearest Christine phoned this afternoon. She says Chris Ratcliffe told her he's having a party on Friday night IF John & Maria return from Stranraer that is, which isn't definite yet! ____________________________.

The seating plan for the reception took up most of the evening and I spent ages writing the place setting cards for such quaint sounding people as 'Mr Joseph Chamberlain and friend'. Let us hope we have peace in our time. Oops, that was Neville. Never mind.

Watched the BBC's 'Holocaust' drama. Gripping.

-=-

Monday September 4, 1978

At lunchtime I went to Parker's Wine Bar with Sarah. Very amusing too.

Lynn can't stand the excitement and was forced to leave work at lunchtime with pains, nausea, and a general feeling of revulsion. On arriving home Mother calmed her with half a bottle of whisky and after a few obscene phone calls to awkward wedding guests she was fighting fit once more.

Saw part II of 'Holocaust'. The Jews have suffered like I never imagined. Mr Sadat ought to remember this when he begins his 'peace talks' with the Israelis at Camp David next week. For God's sake leave poor little Israel alone.

Did you know that according to the Sun newspaper Victorian society was rocked to its very foundations by the Prince of Wales's affair with Lillie Langtry? I certainly didn't. Certainly, Victorian 'high' society was far from shocked and the prince's 'set' accepted all Edward's mistresses because that was the done thing in those days. The rest of Victorian Britain ~ the coal miners, farm workers, shopkeepers, &c had absolutely no feelings whatsoever on this 'scandal' because they had no idea that anything was going on.

-=-

Sunday September 3, 1978

15th after Trinity

At 12 we went to the Commercial for the traditional 'wet' Sunday luncheon with beef sandwiches too. Back at home we played records, looked at photos and had a constitutional around Greenfield Avenue. Sue and Pete were at home but in their usual state of heavenly, solitary transit rendering them boring and dull conversationalists, except with each other.

Mum, Dad, Lynn and David went to Lawn Road laying carpets, hanging pictures and generally domesticating the interior ready for residence. She (Lynn) sat here later puffing on a cigar.

The Second World War began 39 years ago today. It was a Sunday too. Tonight on BBC1 a new series entitled 'Holocaust' began. It depicts the Nazi genocide of the millions of innocent Jews of Europe. Compulsive viewing. We all watched in silence as the ghastly crimes unfolded.

Bed with Lady Chatterley (still) at 12:30am.

-=-

Tuesday August 29, 1978

Lynn is playing a Nat King Cole LP over and over again and in a few moments I intend leaping into the dining room brandishing an axe and have every intention of using it on my precious little sister. For one thing it would put a stop to this dreadful wedding mania and it would also end Nat's brave attempt to escape from his tomb once and for all.

Susan and I think ______________________________________.


-=-

Saturday August 26, 1978

Sun rises 06:03 Sun sets 20:01

Up at 10. Sarah made me scrambled eggs on toast. I felt slightly worse for wear. Sarah and Delia fussed over me. They went to the Ilkley Antiques Fair at 11 and dropped me at home. A quick change of clothes and I went back to Leeds to meet Jacq and Trixie at the Dragonara. First I went to the Y.W.C.A to pay my respects to Hayden, who begged me to find him a surgeon who might perform a head transplant on him.

Went with Jacq and Trixie to Whitelocks. We sat from 12:30 until 3 in the pleasant atmosphere of one of Leeds's finest and most ancient taverns. Afterwards we went to Trixie's room at the hotel for even more drink, and finally, at about 5:30 we left for Guiseley.

John and Maria had been round in the afternoon but we just missed seeing them. After dinner with the family we took Lynn & Dave to the Drop where we celebrated the coming wedding, minus 2 weeks. Pernod dribbled everywhere. Lynn was quite overcome by it all and had to go sit outside.

Back to Pine Tops afterwards.

-=-

Thursday August 17, 1978

Wedding fever is taking it's toll on Mama more than most. This morning with Dad and I at breakfast a very violent discussion took place. ______________________________.

To Otley Hospital at 10 with Dad. He disagreed with Mum's opinion, and was quiet and subdued in the car. I was discharged from the hospital and sent packing with a bundle of anti~septic dressings.

A bright, sunny morning. I arrived at the YP at 11:15. Sarah was in a more endearing mood. She says she and 'Auntie' are coming to see us this evening.

I gave Lynn £15 for a wedding present and went with Dad and Dave to Lawn Road. The place looks more like a home than a building site now, and within a week the place will be ready for habitation. Back home at 9:45. Sarah and Delia didn't appear but 'old faithfuls' Jim and Margaret were knocking back beer and munching on peanuts. We watched 'I, Claudius' on the BBC and sat around until 1am. __________________.

-=-

Tuesday August 15, 1978

A humid, thundery day. The morning papers have photographs of Princess Anne and Peter Phillips spread thickly about, on this HRH's 28th birthday. It is a disgrace that Her Majesty's grandson is of no higher rank than a British Railways ticket collector or lowly road sweeper. Even the cleaning lady with 50 years' service at Montague Burton's and awarded the B.E.M is of greater rank. Poor little chap. However, it is a sign of the times I do suppose.

Sarah was in a strange mood today. I saw her laughing and squealing in the company of John Mac. God knows what became of this so-called estrangement.

Met Jacq at lunchtime and we had a couple of drinks at the Ostlers. She gave me some Royal Albert china for mother. I told her I'm working on Friday night. At least we'll have a cheap weekend. On Saturday we plan to see Lord Olivier in 'The Betsy' a film from the Harold Robbins book of the same name. I read the book about six years ago. Sir Laurence plays his first movie sex scenes with 'Roxanne' the French maid. Whatever next?

Tonight I went with Jim Nason to Lawn Road and bashed around on the staircase for a couple of hours. Lynn, Dave, Mum and Dad went to the Cow & Calf Hotel to sort out the wedding reception and Jim and I met them at the Red Lion for a couple of drinks at 10:15. Lynn was slightly pissed and went straight up to bed on her arrival home.

Wedding fever is choking us all. I'm sure Lynn's sickness this evening was just as just excitement as alcohol. A man in a Jag followed her at walking pace down the lane this morning with eyes and everything else bulging, heavy breathing, &c. The pervert obviously needs his extremities hacking off.

-=-

Monday August 7, 1978

Bank Holiday {Scotland}

Very wet, revolting day. Lounged in bed until 11 and then had a bacon and egg sandwich and cup of tea. My rear feels slightly more painful today. Had a hot bath.

Uncle Peter dropped in at lunchtime for a sandwich. At 2 Dad drove me to Otley Hospital. A fat, old doctor with half~moon spectacles took a brief look at my buttocks and told me to come back on Monday next week to have the stitches removed.

Home for 3. Watched the end of a 1940 Jack Benny film and did a little reading. To be quite honest, I'm bored silly just lounging around the house. Jacq phoned to enquire about the state of my bottom.

At 7:30 Delia and Sarah came to see Lynn and Mum about the flowers for the wedding. Sarah thinks I look unwell. She suggests I get a doctor's note and have the rest of the week off. I decide to take tomorrow off, but go back on Wednesday.

Wedding fever is now gripping Pine Tops. Mum and Lynn spent the night chatting about flowers, cakes, cards, and booze. Saw a far~fetched Roger Moore film and retired to bed at 11:30.

-=-

Thursday August 3, 1978

Jacq and I had a lunchtime drink at the Ostlers which was pleasant. She showed me a letter she has received from Gina inviting us both to RAF Benson for a weekend. Should be OK. Gina seemed like a very nice girl at our brief meeting in April.

Tonight is 'Margaret & Jim' night. Jim says he's related to the Bronte sisters but doesn't remember how exactly. He also says his mother's maiden name is Fowkes, an ancient Yorkshire surname which entitles him to bear arms, &c. I will do some research into this for him.

Poor Lynn is ill. She went to the doctor with chronic ear~ache this evening, and he partially syringed her ears and subsequently she came home in really bad pain. She was in tears at midnight. Jim went home for some pain~killers because we didn't have an asprin in the house, and she slept quite well after that. She suffered a few twinges at about 5 or 6am.

-=-

Tuesday August 1, 1978

Horrid weather on this first of the month. No startling news to impart other than to say Dad and I were at Burley again slapping paper on walls. I'm beginning to enjoy it now. When all is finished here it will leave a massive void in my life.

I pray to God that the marriage of my sister will be a long and happy one. We couldn't tolerate a divorce so close to the throne. I am very fond of Dave and regard him as a brother. His disappearance from the scene would be terribly sad for me. I know he can, at times, be something of a pain, but aren't all brothers?

Whilst I was at Burley tonight Dave L phoned to cancel tomorrow's drink because the insurance man is coming to see him about his car. It's just as well really because I am on the verge of destitution. I am seriously considering donating my body for medical research # if they'll take it before I have vacated it. A couple of hundred quid wouldn't go amiss at all.

-=-

Sunday July 30, 1978

10th after Trinity

After breakfast we all sped off to Lawn Road for a days work. Jacq was on her hands and knees scrubbing at the staircase. It poured with rain all day and only relented when we were ready to come home at about 7.

The four of us (Lynn, Dave, Jacq and me) crammed ourselves into the Spitfire and had a hilarious drive home over the moor. Lynn was clinging on for dear life.

Back at Pine Tops John, Maria and JPH were paying a visit. JPH is no longer a baby - he's a real little boy - with sturdy legs and flowing hair. He seems to have discovered a temper though. At one point when Maria wouldn't let him play with Susan's sunglasses he exclaimed: "Shit, then!" A deadly silence followed broken only by me giggling.

-=-

Wednesday June 21, 1978

Dad and I went to Lynn and Dave's at Burley this evening to help finish splashing undercoat on the bedroom. Audrey and Henry Baker came in. ___________. Mrs B makes it obvious she dislikes Lynn's choice of 'Tomato Surprise' emulsion on the bedroom ceiling. However, tittle tattle on the subject of my sister's décor isn't getting us anywhere, is it?

What became of the excitement and pulsating thrills that once filled these pages? The sex, the violence, the passion, the tears, and the laughter?

What possible entertainment can you derive from knowing that tonight, for instance, I came back from Burley and sat with a glass of lager discussing the shabby picture on the wall above the fireplace with Mummy? You must be mad to find that remotely interesting.

David G phoned. I couldn't say whether I'd be putting in an appearance on Saturday. This so-called air display (at Woodford) begins in the morning, and so it's going to have to be a crack of dawn trip, isn't it?

Leapt into the bath and de-painted myself before retiring to bed.

-=-

Wednesday May 24, 1978

Princess Margaret and the 1st Earl of Snowdon were divorced ~ on this the 159th birthday of Queen Victoria. I don't think she'd have been amused at all. Mind you, it is 1978, and when everybody else in the kingdom are tearing up their marriage certificates I suppose it's only right that one or two members of the Royal Family should do likewise. Moving with the times, and all that. It's about the only excuse I can give.

The only other violent eruption I can envisage this year in the Royal House is Prince Michael of Kent's marital intentions with Marie-Christine Troubridge.

Politics: a recent opinion poll suggests Margaret Hilda Thatcher might not become prime minister at the next general election. It is infuriating to see the present enfeebled prime minister growing to look more like Sir Winston Churchill and all the more how one expects a Conservative leader to look while at the same time the 'true blue' leader is a peroxide blonde housewife smothered in Max Factor ~ going through the change ~ &c. It really is intolerable. The political analysts are now saying we won't be going to the polls until next Spring and the thought of a jubilant James Callaghan and Denis Healey rolling, frolicking, and skipping midst the crocuses at Westminster just doesn't bear thinking about. Another Labour government would take us to 1984, George Orwell and all that.

Home news: Just watched tv this evening. Mama is back to normal I think. Her moods can put a tremendous dampener on things.

Lynn came home with a new hairstyle ~ a perm. She's such a pretty girl ~ one of the finest maidens in the parish.

Edith and Ernest are going to Devon tomorrow to view a house near Kenneth's that's for sale. Mum says it's a bad idea that they go south. She hasn't told them of course. I agree when she says that moving at that age can do more harm than good. Ernest has many friends up here and to old people that can be the difference between an active, youthful mind, and a geriatric cabbage.

-=-

Thursday May 18, 1978

Work day and night. Hacking up old newspapers all day and slapping paint on the lounge all night. Absolutely nothing else to report. Oh yes, I have.

Lynn was splattered all over the front page of the EP this evening and sales have probably rocketed because of it. She was sprawled all over the wing of a new £84,000 aircraft at Yorkshire Light Aircraft Co. I told her she should receive 'royalties' for her sales technique, and I don't say it as a light hearted quip either. How much money would Ursula Andress or Raquel Welch receive for advertising in such a way?

Jacq and I went to the library (again) at lunchtime. I have finally discarded Samuel Pepys. He was a decent sort, but to be honest I just haven't had the time to read his confounded diaries fully. After a month I've only covered six months of his daily natterings.