Wednesday June 24, 1981

 _. Didn't see Ally. She is turning Ash Tree Cottage into Clarence House in readiness for the arrival of her parents.

Winston: blue eyes?

Dined with Mum and Dad. She made fine Yorkshire puddings and eulogised over my imminent passing. Dad was genuinely moved and blinked away tears. "We will miss you, Mike", said Mum very breezily, but I knew how she felt. Or do I? Twenty six years of love and devotion, care and attention, and in the blink of an eye your child has gone -- gone off with another to repeat the process all over again.

Anyway, enough of that. At the office my telephone trilled. It was a portrait painter, working on a portrait of Sir Winston Churchill, and was desperate for an accurate description of the colour of the great man's eyes. One would have thought that this might be an easy thing to pin down, but no. Nowhere does it say what hue twinkled in that Bulldog head. He did of course have sandy, dare I say ginger hair, before he lost it, and so would make a guess at a blue/grey shade.

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Tuesday June 23, 1981

 _. Catherine's second birthday. 

At Club St up at 5:30am and cleaned the windows. It took about half an hour. Breakfasted with Ally and then off to the YP.

Ally's cousin, Patricia Tolley, gave birth to a daughter, Louise Emma at something in the vicinity of 3am. The child is well, but the mother has had a very difficult pregnancy.

Home at 6.

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Monday June 22, 1981

 _. Visitors: Marlene, Frank, Debbie, Karen, Steve, Diane and Paul came over to Pine Tops this evening bearing wedding presents. Marlene & Frank were the first to arrive. She looked shocking, hay fever. The others brought pans and trinkets, and stayed for drinks until 12. Afterwards Ally and I returned to Club Street. Tempers between us had been fraught in telephone exchanges this afternoon. It's nerves kicking in.

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Sunday June 21, 1981

 _. 1st Sunday after Trinity. ~ Father's Day

A day at Ash Tree Cottage. Surprised to see 'Britt' as we affectionately call her, our next door neighbour [in fact Mrs Ethel Greenwood]. She made a rare appearance in her garden, and she reprimanded us for never visiting her. The sweet old lady was born on July 15, 1888, and she tells us it rained 'cats and dogs' on the day of her birth, St Swithun's Day. She says her grandson 'Our Graham', a Bradford policeman, interviewed Peter Sutcliffe. She says the Ripper is a 'plausible liar'. 

On to Pine Tops at 5:30 with sausages and beefburgers. Lynn, Dave B, Frances, Sue [looking bright] and Pete arrived at 6:30. We frolicked on the lawn, barbecuing steaks, &c. Haven't seem Mama laugh so much in ages. By 10:30 we were still outside wrapped in blankets and coats, shrouded in the dense all consuming charcoal smog. 

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Saturday June 20, 1981

 . Dull, overcast, and very wet later. Feel hideous. Climbed out of bed at 11 and was violently sick, just in time for breakfast  of scrambled eggs on toast. 

At 1pm Ally, Dave G and I went to Bramhope to observe the wedding of Christopher Baker and Julie Harris at St Giles's Church. The vicar, I thought, made a ghastly gaffe going on and on about the breakdown of marriage and the perils of divorce. Dave G looked at me and whispered loudly that the vicar was instructing the couple to 'bleedin' well not bother'. 

At 2 we returned to the Woolpack for a couple of pints before waving a sad goodbye to Master Glynn. He has to be back on duty at dawn tomorrow at Stockport Hospital.

The Vintage restaurant.

To Guiseley. Slept in a chair until 7pm. Then to Lidget Green to get changed. The two of us went to dinner at the Vintage Steak Bar in Bradford. The T-bone steaks were £5.40 each, and were deplorable, disappointing. We laughed though, and made small talk. I know it's wrong but we had a bottle of Liebfraumilch with our red meat. The bill came to £18 which we can ill afford.

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Friday June 19, 1981

 _. Mum and Dad's 27th wedding anniversary. I made an appearance at the marital bedroom at 7:30 and gave them a card and a present ~ a dish [Royal Albert] bearing a charming likeness of Lady Diana midst the roses.

The YP was glum. I made good my escape at noon. Ally met me on Wellington Street and we went to the railway station and met Dave G. We had a drink at the Central - hideous, and more alcohol at the Bank where I bought Ally a quiche salad. The latter watering hole was packed with estate agents and solicitors drinking gin and lusting after their secretaries. Then on to Jacomelli's, on Boar Lane.

To Guiseley via Bradford where we had fish and chips with Mum and Dad. Ally went off to Burley to bake with Lynn and no doubt discuss last night. They started off at Burley Gates and then went to the dear old Il Trovatore. I am told that Ally did her party piece and vomitted in the taxi.

I am a vision in green tonight. My Primo 'Moshe Dayan' jeans and a bottle green T-shirt. Dave G and I were deposited at the Woolpack by Ally, and she left us to our own devices. Joined by Pete, Chippy, Dave B, Dave L, Dave Allinson. From here we went to Chaplin's [Bolton Junction, eating raw carrot in Dave L's car]. Saw Dave Porritt, our DJ next week. On to 'Time and Place' in Bradford at 11:15 but they wouldn't allow Dave L in because of his inappropriate footwear, and so on we went to Gatsby's, a hovel if ever I saw one.

Dave L suggested that we should perhaps mug someone in the gents toilets so that he could swap shoes with the victim. He made several attempts but failed to find a candidate with his size of shoe. It was a bit like a modern day Cinderella re-worked. After 1am Dave L, in his offending footwear, drove Dave G and I to the Elmer in Shipley, and the others continued to Guiseley. The rest is lost. I remember nothing. Hideously pissed.

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Thursday June 18, 1981

 _. Hot day. At the office Sarah ahd Shazzo were howling with laughter about something. Shazzo asks me to ask her what she did yesterday. I obliged, and was told that at 11am she had married her Turkish boyfriend at Leeds Register Office after a courtship of ten days. What's more, the new Mrs Shahid Koc [pronounced 'Koch'] is being carried off to Turkey is two weeks time. We will have seen the last of Shazzo. All day people made the usual sneering remarks about the Turks. Our general view of these eastern gentleman hasn't been entirely favourable since one of their race attempted to slay the dear Pope last month. Sharon handed in her notice amidst a general office breakdown. Comments ranged from 'Coo. It's like a fairy tale' to 'she must be bloody crackers'. It proved all too much for Carol J. She took a half-day.

Kathleen went out at lunchtime and bought me a teapot, not my cup of tea, but never mind.

It is Ally's 'hen night'. She came here in her yellow shorts and t-shirt. Susie didn't appear, because of a heavy cold, and neither does she want to consume vast quantities of alcohol on a pregnant stomach, and so it was just Ally and Lynn, and off she went to meet her at 8.

I sat in on one of Mum's 'Jim and Margaret nights'. Utterly boring.

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Wednesday June 17, 1981

 _. Full Moon.

I am detecting a dryness in my throat and a blockage in the nasal cavity. Going down with a cold. Shit and buggery, I'm getting married next week.

An 'Ally-less' night. We had several conversations. Auntie Mabel had been on the phone to her talking about the rug she's buying us. Bless her. We must call and see her at the weekend.

Shazzo Cohen was missing from the office today. No doubt on her way to Ankara with her new love. Can't say that I blame her. The YP library is no place for an adventure seeking, sex-crazed 20 year-old.

A letter in the Times reports that the forename Zara is very common in Arab countries. The author goes on to say that it is something of a coincidence that Miss Phillips should be given an Arab name when King Khalid of Saudi Arabia is about to arrive in London. What a startling coincidence, not.

The Prince of Wales is in New York leaving Lady Diana alone at Royal Ascot. She is looking stunning. A definite style is emerging.

Sue has been to see a doctor. She should know for certain by Friday. In other news, Frances now weights 11 pounds.

-=-

Tuesday June 16, 1981

 _. A fun-packed day at the office. All squabbling about holidays. Wendy Newton is quitting the library night staff, and once again we are in the doldrums. Sharon is behaving mysteriously. Ten days ago she met a Turk in the Intime Club in town and he has asked her to accompany him back to Istanbul next week. Is this the end of the ample Miss Cohen?

Didn't see Ally this evening but we spoke a couple of times. Garry has sent a response to Frank & Bessie. No, he won't be coming to the wedding. God knows why. 

Ally went for some sun-ray treatment and then to a hairdresser, who fiddled around with her hair in various styles for the wedding.

Sue is reporting feeling tired, sick and dizzy. It's a good sign, isn't it?

Battle Cruiser Zara.

A gent in a letter to the Times suggests that Miss Zara Phillips is so named because 40 years ago the Duke of Edinburgh, as a naval officer, contributed to the sinking of an Italian cruiser, Zara, at the Battle of Matapan. Laughter. Is Philip destined now to sink his own granddaughter?

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Monday June 15, 1981

 _. Up at 6:30. Ally and I took a bus to Horsforth, collected the car, fiddled with the accelerator, and off she went, pale and bruised from yesterday's collapse. Sarah says we missed a good party. What a pity for us that it had such a premature end. 

Dined with Mum, Dad and Ally at 6. I mowed the lawns. Ally followed doing the edges. 

Marcus Simon Sarjeant appeared in court today charged under Section 2 of the 1848 Treason Act. The bastard was remanded in court until June 24. TV and newspapers have devoted so much time and newsprint to this boy. It's a green light for all the lunatics to go out and frighten the Sovereign.

-=-

Sunday June 14, 1981

 _. Trinity Sunday

Spent the morning pottering in the garden. Weeding, &c, to the sound of the church bells summoning Anglicans to church.

Ally: weak at the knees

To Delia's lunch party at 12:45. Ally in her yellow shorts, brown legs, white shoes. We had not been informed that it was an engagement party for Sarah and Trevor, and stood by as guests handed over spice racks, wine racks, heavy glass tumbers, &c.____. I spent some time in the kichen chatting to a young David Hirst about Benton Park School. Geoff Slater, the undertaker, cornered me and talked about official 'flag flying days'. Evidently I provided him with a list in 1975. Other guests included Jill Whittington, Olive, Olive's husband, Delia's florist, Delia's hairdresser, Barbara, Marilyn and Beverley Wheeler, &c. Just as the food was being served Ally began to feel dizzy and we went outside and propped up a coal bunker. She became weak at the knees. For us the party was over. I helped her to the car and set off down West End Lane, and had driven no further a mile when the accelerator pedal snapped beneath my foot. I pushed the car into a lay-by, Ally now unconscious, and walked to Horsforth roundabout and phoned Susan and Peter. They arrived at about 4 and brought us back to Pine Tops and we put her to bed. I spent the evening keeping vigil.

Mum and Dad dined at the Prachee.

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