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Thursday March 27, 1975

Maundy Thursday. Yet another bloody busy day. Chaos and Hell Fire all rolled into one. Curious about something on the Court page of the Daily Telegraph. The Queen, Queen Mother and Princess Anne yesterday attended a memorial service for Her Majesty's cousin, Rev the Hon Andrew Elphinstone. No where have I seen anything to the effect that he has actually died. So, being highly curious I rang the Daily Telegraph to be informed that he had passed away on or about March 21. Obviously such information is of little interest to sane people, but it means a lot to me.

Sarah was in a good mood for a change and leapt to my aid when I had written a letter to Christine only to discover I had no postage stamps. She suggested I route around in the waste paper basket to salvage a respectable looking unfranked stamp to glue onto my epistle. And to think her Papa is the head postmaster at York.

In my letter to Christine I woffled on for ages about nothing. Well, when I say nothing I mean woffling on about Gary's surname - Walters. Being absolutely insane I connect Gary with Lucy Walters, the mistress of King Charles II, by making out he was her grandson.

Home at 5.15, my usual hour of late, and sit in front of the tv making little attempt to prepare for my meeting with Helen at the Hare. Both John and Papa refused to take me to the pub, so I go by bus, arriving at about 8.45. Sit with Helen, and Naomi (who John thought wasn't going out) brought us home at kicking out time.

I departed for bed after being quizzed as to what I'd been doing out with Naomi.

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Wednesday March 26, 1975

Another day of toil and labour. Cut the YP for a change. So much better than the nasty little EP, which sinks even lower than the lowest rags - the Sun and Daily Mirror.

A certain gentleman writer with the Yorkshire Post today expressed bafflement that no news cuttings were to be found on the new King of Saudi Arabia or Crown Prince. The mentality of some people amazes me! Everyone knows that the Arabian Royals come and go like flies, and that they have at least 300 children each, and the fact that they all have the same name makes it all the more diffucult to keep tabs on them. Khamel Hamed Aziz Woz Ben Fhadi is a prime example.

Amused by a piece in today's paper announcing that the 87-year-old Earl of Midleton is seeking a divorce in order to marry his mistress. I only hope I'll be still getting up to the usual tricks at that ripe old age. It must be a fantastic feeling.

Miss Braithwaite rang tonight and we arranged to meet at the Hare at 8.30. Oh, by the way, last night I booked Kiko's Disco for Friday April 5, and today I managed to get a coach with Rhodes's Coaches of Guiseley - £20 will be the cost - but everyone will contribute I hope. Helen will be chuffed. I'm almost certain she gave up the idea of ever seeing those plans finalised.

John took me to the Hare at 8. He stayed for one drink then took Naomi to Bradford. Chris, Andy, Linda, Carol, Christine B and Gary are at the Hare. Moved on to that revolting pub, The Drop. Home at about 11.

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Tuesday March 25, 1975

Busy, but pleasant day at the YP. Kathleen, as usual at times of great stress and panic, lost her sanity and walked around the building cursing everything that moved and screaming on the top of her voice. I managed to calm her down with a packet of cigs and a cup of revolting coffee. My behaviour this morning was reminiscent of Chamberlain's appeasement of Hitler in 1938.

See the Crossman diaries in the Sunday Times again - the final batch. More detail about him and the Queen. In 1966 Crossman had an argument with Lord Porchester (a close friend of the Queen) on the subject of the monarchy. Crossman was highly critical of the institution. Embarrassment for Crossman came several weeks later when he was summoned to the palace on his appointment as Lord President of the Council. The Queen mischievously told him she'd been 'hearing' all about him.

Items in the news: King Feisal of Saudi Arabia was assassinated today by his loony nephew. The revered Prime Minister visited Uslter. The eldest son of the 9th Earl of Carrick plunged himself into matrimony - I know that's not really news at all, but you know what a sense of humour I have. Mr Peart, the Agriculture minister thinks that the dockers are all crackers and wants them to go back to work.

Mama drew her £50 winnings out of the bank this morning. Unaccountable wealth really makes me sick. Christina Onassis herself looks like a pauper in comparison with my venerable mother.

Just noticed that Good Friday coincides with the __________, a latter day John the Baptist. Millions throughout the western world regard her as a God. This world of ours would be a sad place without her love and guidance shining down from the foothills of Pudsey where her priestesses have worshipped her for well over 48 million years.

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Monday March 24, 1975

Rather a nervous day today. On my arrival at the YP Lynn rings me from home to say that a Mr Simpson from Greenwood's wants me to contact him about the job vacancy. I immediately do so and he asks me to go for an interview at 10.30 tomorrow morning. Eileen takes her driving test then, so I ask whether I can go today. We plan a meeting for 5pm. I receive Royal permission from Sarah to leave at 1 o'clock, and come home for lunch.

Mum says that poor Sue didn't get into Nursing College, and that Lynn is having at interview at Barclays Bank at 4.30 today.

At 3 I leap into the bath to make myself presentable for the coming onslaught. You never know, it might be Bye Bye YP before the month is out.

Meanwhile: Later the same day. No, it won't be Bye Bye to the YP at all. In fact, the Yorkshire Post is like Heaven in comparison with the Greenwood Empire. On my arrival at the dreaded place I met a Mr Simpson. He informs me that 'Mr Denis' (whom I presume is Mr Denis Greenwood) 'doesn't like long hair' and so if I should be employed therein, it would all have to go. This didn't amuse me much. I nearly died with laughter on being informed that my wage would amount to £18 at the start and would increase to the vast Onassis-like £20 on my 20th birthday. In other words, a slump of £6 would be awaiting me at the Greenwood's Empire. The prospects too are non-existant. I'll dwell on the subject no more today. I can't wait for the cheerful call of the Yorkshire Post tomorrow morning.

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Sunday March 23, 1975

Palm Sunday. Wake up to a beautiful morning and a beautiful hangover. Palm Sunday too.

The beauty of the weather draws John and I out to the car. We go in the direction of Otley Chevin. Stopping at the Chevin Inn for a quick one we encounter Andy Graham's papa. He buys us a pint each before departing for his lunch. We then go down to the Station in Yeadon - a bloody awful place - where I indulge in one half pint. Back for lunch.

Mum had her hair flashed yesterday and looks like a different person now. She no longer tries to antagonise me. I wonder why?

Dave Baker makes his traditional visit for Sunday tea. Lynn admitted to me tonight that this weekend is the first time they've quarrelled about anything. Nothing serious though.

John and I go with Naomi to the Hare and none of the regulars are in. We're bored stiff and leave at 10 o'clock. He and Naomi go on to Wikis. Aaarrghh! Yes, Wikis on a Sunday! Whatever next? I see tv until 12.15. Tired out, stagger to bed.


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Saturday March 22, 1975

I didn't think about kipping down until almost 3.0am. The sight of Dad going to work at 6am was most unusual. Dave and me lay in the dark talking all night. I can't have dropped off until about 6.30.

I was furious at Wikis last night. Maura, whom God Preserve, was chatting with Denny and I, when Dave Knowles, her former fiance, called her over. Naturally she went over for a chat, only to be kicked in the stomach. Poor Maura pretended not to be injured, but went straight home.

All Denny could say over and over was 'the bastard, the bastard', referring to her former associate, Adrian. Poor Dave's gear box fell off yesterday and the clutch is far from well. He bought the car in good faith from Adrian a couple of months ago. Naturally, Denny feels guilty and responsible because when Dave quizzed her about the state of the car she replied: 'Oh it's great'.

Whilst reading her paper this morning Mama saw an advert relating to a job in the designing department at Greenwoods in Guiseley. She gets me to put a letter together and it's posted forthwith. Await further details with anticipation.

A drunken occasion this evening. The gang met at the Hare & Hounds as usual, but at 10 o'clock Andy suggests a pub crawl around Addingham. I immediately agree, and we all depart. After an hours solid lager swilling session I am sick in the car park of one of the pubs, then it's back to Naomi's to see a lousy 1945 film. John was sick too.

Oh, Uncle Peter and Co. came today. Forgot about it.

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Friday March 21, 1975

Lounge in bed until the glorious hour of 10.30. Shear, unadulterated luxury. Bliss indeed. However, it isn't all idleness today. It's work at 5pm - so don't think for one single minute that laziness reigns here at Pine Tops. The first day of Spring - I certainly would not have realised this on my own initiative. Mum conveyed this news to me whilst I hung longingly over my chicken soup and pork cutlets. In fact, it looks about as much like Spring as I look like the Aga Khan. Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, I haven't been all that lazy this morning. I ironed two pairs of trousers and listened to endless LPs and chatted to Miss Braithwaite via the telephone. So all in all I've done a decent days work.

Mess about with P.G Wodehouse and 'The Luck of the Bodkins' after lunch and prepare in general for my visit to the YP. Luckily, it's not going to be a miserable homecoming at 12. I'm meeting Denny outside Wikis at 12.15.

Quite a busy evening. I did manage to snatch a whisky in the Wellesley with Kathleen and Peter Chapman. Nothing startling in the news, and attempt to leave at 12 o'clock. The rain is pounding outside and my taxi is 25 minutes bloody late. I end up sharing one with a female reporter. Arrived at Wikis at some unearthly hour. Denny, thank God, had the sense to go straight in. Uneventful night. Helen is with Graham Pease. John brings Denny and me home - she intends staying the night. Discover Dave on the camp bed - the poor sod came off his brother's bike on the way over - so I camped down on the sofa, and Denny gets my bed.

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Friday November 2, 1984

 Chillandham Cross, Itchen Abbas I got up with Samuel at 7 and took him down and gave him a Weetabix and toast which he ate with gusto. He d...