Friday August 29, 1980

_. Rain. Saw Christine B in town at 12. She was chatty and told me she'd seen Denise Akroyd in The Bank [pub] last night. I marched around Leeds chewing gum, avoiding the sandwich shops. I break out in a cold sweat at the thought of growing fat.

Viscount Linley has gone on holiday to the USA accompanied by a young lady by the name of Claudia Graham-Dixon.

Stayed home with Mum and Dad tonight. We howled with laughter at a Vincent Price 'horror film' 'The Oblong Box', truly pathetic. Laughing likes inmates of an asylum over our coffee and ginger biscuits.

Bed at 1am.

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Thursday August 28, 1980

_. Sunny. A busy lunchtime buying goodies in town. I bought the 'Emotional Rescue' album at last, and the traditional rump steak, asparagus spears and extortionately priced tinned mushrooms. But who buys tinned mushrooms?

I also visited Jacq at Dacre, Son & Hartley with a copy of the Elvis Presley 3rd anniversary EP supplement. Some misguided wench in the office forgot to buy one on the anniversary of the singer's death 2 weeks ago. Jacq looked thin, slumped over her typewriter. Before I left though she did tell me how Trixie had been involved in the Alexandra Palace fire. I won't bother repeating it here.

The offending wallpaper. [We are sat on the loo]

To Ally's at 5. She had been battling with the wallpaper in the bathroom and was up to her knees in damp paper. Ate at 7 and then went to the Bod. We intended going to Oakwood Hall, but a phenomenal wave of common sense, the likes of which I have never seen or felt before, swept over us, and we returned to Club St at 11:30. Sampled homemade orange wine and listened to Mick Jagger, Grace Jones and Donna Summer. I do suppose that by boycotting Oakwood I saved some money.

My brother is throwing a 'cottage warming party' on September 27, for the cream of Lochans society. Mum is put off that outsiders will be attending, but will still make the journey.

To bed at about 1am.

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Wednesday August 27, 1980

_. Heavy mist. Hot later. Three billion Britons are now officially unemployed, or is it two million, one thousand, two hundred and 80? Whatever, it's the worst unemployment figure since the Relief of Ladysmith. Can't say I'm moved to tears. What would St Francis of Assisi have had to say about the situation?

Industrious day at the YP. Spoke to Ally. She's been ripping off wallpaper in her bathroom, for some reason. I'm venturing to Rue Club tomorrow with gifts of pans and beads, rather like David Attenborough does when visiting remote South American tribes.

Delia phoned this morning to discuss a Lit. Lunch. She said Sarah had been dreading going on holiday and almost had to be carried onto the plane at Manchester. She does share my cruel sense of humour.

Getting off my bus at 6 I collided with Lynn. She had walked from Yorkshire Light Aircraft to Guiseley.

Jacq phoned enquiring about an Elvis [Presley] bites the dust EP supplement. I told her I'd find her a copy tomorrow.

Festered in front of the TV tonight. Devoured a hot beef curry and was incapacitated thereafter. Watched a programme about the dreadful Gracie Fields.

Earl Mountbatten died a year ago today. A new book claims that Lady M had an affair with Nehru. Pull the other one, Mr Hough. And I suppose the Queen Mother was having it off with Mr Bhutto.

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Tuesday August 26, 1980

_. Got into the YP on time, for a change. I can never climb out of bed without being cajoled by Sue, so it's difficult now she is gone.

Sarah had a dreadful experience at the party in Cawood yesterday. The girls were set upon by a riotous, drunken mob, and they were deposited, fully clad, in the swimming pool at the orgy. Watches and clothes were ruined. She says she sobbed uncontrollably for hours. Carol J had been deposited in at the deep end, and she cannot swim. Sarah is badly bruised.

Phoned Ally, still celebrating the Bank Holiday. She says she may visit an elderly aunt in Colne. She seldom, if ever, visits Lancashire and her elderly aunts, and so I take this to signify a measure of protest.  I told her I'd be there on Thursday. She rang back at 10 to say the aunt visiting had never materialised and that instead she had stripped the wallpaper from the bathroom walls.

Saw Keith Michell play Henry VIII in part 5 of 'The Six Wives of Henry VIII', first shown in 1972, I think. To bed at 10:30 with a very mug of Ovaltine, like water.

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Monday August 25, 1980

_. Bank Holiday in England, N. Ireland & Wales

Bank Holiday maybe, but I was in the office throughout. It was a hot day too, which is frustrating, but at least I get the extra cash. Just Sarah and I. She went off to a party at Cawood at 2 leaving me holding the fort until 4. Made good my escape on a rare omnibus.

Out with Ally at 7:30 to the Dog and Gun at Apperley Bridge, and then went to inspect the menu at the George and Dragon, but we decided it didn't come up to standard. Onward to Leeds and the delights of Jacomelli's on Boar Lane. Steak restaurant. We had rare rump steaks and chatted away happily ___________.

Tony and Hilda were with Mum and Dad and T pointed out several discrepancies on my family tree.

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Sunday August 24, 1980

_. 12th Sunday after Trinity

Have a blocked head, sniffles, green dribbles. Warm enough to sprawl in a deckchair in the garden, and I did so clutching Joyce Grenfell's autobiography, a well-written tale. The book is on loan to Mum from Auntie Mabel. Joyce's husband, Reggie, is the brother of Lady Waldegrave and Lady Ballantrae [killed in a gale last March in Stranraer, when a tree fell on her], and Mrs Patrick Campbell-Preston, Lady-in-Waiting to the Queen Mother, and Joyce is a niece of Lady Astor [Nancy], the battling MP, who gave Churchill heartburn. No name dropping from Joyce in the book of course. I've worked it out for myself.

Ally came here in her break at 3:30 and stayed until 6. She says she really thinks she should not have bothered coming because I am 'snappy'. So snappy in fact that my deckchair almost caught fire. Fortunately she found it funny. I saw nothing funny. I'm always grumpy when unwell. I sat gasping like an asthmatic pug, drowning to the sound of Tony Blackburn  from the depths of my transistor radio.

Mum and Dad went to Giovanni's until 12:30 leaving me watching TV. Saw the end of the French saga about Molière. Bed late.

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Saturday August 23, 1980

_. Up at 11 and straight on the blower to Ally to discuss the agenda for the day. Rock with horror when she informed me that she is doing the nauseating Mrs Stringer  'a favour' by working both day and night at the Belfry. Evidently, a deaf and dumb couple are being joined in Holy Matrimony, and clearly deaf and dumb nuptials take precedence over my entertainment. Ally is very gifted and can no doubt hold a tray of 'welcome' drinks and perform sign language at the same time. I left the conversation shocked and disturbed.

I took up a copy of the late Joyce Grenfell's biography and read. This was the sum of my day.

Rathbone as Richard III.

Tonight Mama and Papa went to Joe and Anne Grunwell's, leaving me with Joyce Grenfell on paper, and Basil Rathbone as Richard III on film, and a 1938 film at that. Far from satisfactory.

John and Maria were on the phone from Lochans. I answered the call and an appealing voice said: 'Hi'. I replied: 'Hello, JPH.' Long pause, and I said: 'You don't know who this is, do you?' He replied: 'Of course I do, Christopher.' I asked my nephew about Catherine, to which he replied in a Scottish tones: 'She's away to her bed. She's only a wee baby.' Surely, an amazing child.

To bed at 1:45am.

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Friday August 22, 1980

Dallas: over-rated

_. Part from Ally at 7:45 and took the express coach to Leeds, arriving an hour later. Felt sick and tired like I usually do on a Friday morn. At noon I could stand no more, and left for home. Found Mum and Dad in the garden. I bid my farewells and went to bed until 6pm, much to Mum's disgust.

Up at 6pm to a 'breakfast' of bacon and beans, just like Jesse James might have done a century ago. Afterwards, my parents left, in paint covered rags, to Mabel's, yet again, leaving me in my solitude by a steaming television set.

Watched 'Dallas', an over-rated, much publicised US TV series, and then a play about Molière, which was good. Mum and Dad came in at 11:30 and I was in the middle of Lawrence of Arabia. Dad, of course, is named after T.E. Lawrence, a particularly favourite hero of my scatty grandfather. Bed at 1am. Mum and Dad had seen Mum's dreadful sister-in-law, Kathleen, at Mabel's. Poor thing.

-=-

Thursday August 21, 1980

Anna Wallace: engaged

_. The usual blurb in the Press heralds Princess Margaret's 50th birthday. Roddy, they say, is reputedly fading, but I cannot imagine why.

Anna Wallace, once tipped as a future Queen, has announced her engagement to Lord Hesketh's brother, Johnny. Very disturbing. Will the Prince of Wales ever succeed in getting his gal?

To Ally's at 5. Hot and sunny. Broke the Baker news to her. She has been expecting this news since their holiday, and she thinks Lynn looked 'plump' on Sue's wedding photos.

Out at 8:30 to the Junction [?] in Thornton where we were joined at 9 by Catherine Brook, and her accomplice David. ________. A steady, careful couple. Ally and I [after fish and chips in the car] went to Oakwood. No comparison to Nito's. Home at 2 and drank black coffee until 3. Booked an alarm call for morning, just to be on the safe side.

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Wednesday August 20, 1980

_. Home at 5:30. Lynn was there for tea. She sat in the sitting room [where else?] looking pale and tired. Dave arrived at about 7:30 and she asked me how I fancy being an uncle in April! Bless them. They are expecting a tiny Baker. She is now going part-time at Yorkshire Light Aircraft. The doctor only confirmed her condition at 5:15, and she wants to keep the pregnancy secret until October. The baby is due on my 26th birthday. Dave has a bad head, and they left for Burley at about 8:30. I told Lynn to name a daughter Christiana, after our great-grandmother, who was born in Dec, 1866.

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Tuesday August 19, 1980

_. YP: Kathleen's father hasn't succumbed to a heart attack. He had a diabetic collapse, whatever that is. K took the whole of last week as sick leave. Nobody else would have got away with this. Officially, you get three days off for a death in the immediate family, and one day for a birth.

My contributions to the People column are at a standstill owing to the absence, only temporarily, of Bob Cockroft. A Van Straubenzee girl has become engaged  to a nephew of the Marquess of Anglesey, but otherwise all is quiet in the bracken.

Susie phoned tonight and Mum and Dad went down to West End Terrace for an hour leaving me slouched in front of the TV.

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