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Saturday June 5, 1976

Sue came back from the Hare & Hounds last night and informed Mum that Denise and Carole are going to Ibiza the Saturday after Pete M and I are. This is really bad of Miss Akroyd. She knows full well that I'm doing my very best to avoid Carole, and for her now to arrange a holiday at the same place and at the same time is very wrong.

Make Chris a birthday card this afternoon and enclose £3 inside. What do you buy the man who has absolutely everything? The money should come in useful anyway.

Get a bus at about 7.30 to Chris's. The evening is unbearably hot and we can expect a thundery week ahead. Maria, John, Carole and Denise are assisting Chris with the food preparation which looks fantastic. Carole refuses to speak. _______________.

At 8 o'clock Lynne Mather arrives. (See Diary for Oct 5-Nov 4, 1974). She looks great. Over to the Fleece with John, Maria, Chris, Carole, Denise, Sue, Pete N, Lynn, Dave, Pete M, Carol (American), Ann (American), Raymond Bond, Christine W, Stuart, Carol, Igor, Andy, Linda, Laura, Dave P, MM, Marita, Martyn Cole, &c.

Back to Chris's at 10.30 - a great night. Pass most of the time until 2.30am with Lynne, and don't get particularly pissed. Most of the others are sloshed - Marita included, and John was the worst of the lot.


Friday June 4, 1976

Christopher's 21st, but of course he's celebrating tomorrow night. Hear from Mum that John and Maria are staying with C for the weekend to help him arrange the party. Maria is cooking, cleaning and messing about in general. Six months pregnant too.

Eileen and I went over to the Central at lunchtime. __________________. I emerged after consuming two pints of lager a thoroughly bored young man.

Have a nasty argument with Mum at tea time and set out to Bradford at 6.30. Tony is driving up the lane and we meet half way. In Bradford for 7 o'clock and have a quick drink in the 'Painted Wagon' before meeting Sarah, Carol J, and Marilyn outside the Alhambra at 7.15. Horror of Horrors! On entering the theatre we are confronted by a terrible and nauseating poster. It's an announcement to the effect that Hylda Baker has been taken ill and will not be appearing. What's more we cannot get our money back! Not more than 20 other people were assembled in the theatre and after the first act of the play (also starring Valentine Dyall) we, all five of us that is, dashed off to Leeds and the Flying Pizza.

Sarah felt ill and couldn't eat anything and I blamed the intolerable heat of the place. Even I, Michael the Icebox, had to remove my jacket after the first course. A massive bottle of wine was consumed and by 10 o'clock we were heading back to Bradford to see 'All the President's Men' at the ABC. A boring film and darling Sarah fell asleep on my shoulder. I think I have always been greatly attracted to her. She is so sweet and appealing.


Thursday June 3, 1976

Tony rings to say he's got the tickets for Hylda Baker tomorrow evening. £1.50 a piece. He was coming up tonight to watch Monty Python but he's having car trouble and won't be able to make it now.

Lynn and Susan are out this evening and so it's just me, Mum & Dad watching TV. Feel unusually tired, and by 11 o'clock my eyes are packing in for the night.

King George V is 111 today. No doubt he'll be celebrating quietly somewhere with Queen Mary. It's also the 39th wedding anniversary of the poor old Duchess of Windsor. Saw in the Express last week that she is more or less a recluse now and lives under the surveilance of half a dozen nurses. Poor Old Queen Wallis. Will they let her be buried over here? Nothing else to report.


Wednesday June 2, 1976

Have a hysterical day at the office. Arrange with Sarah and Carol to go see Hylda Baker at the Bradford Alhambra on Friday night. Marilyn wants to go too. Can't wait. Hylda is my favourite comedienne. It also means I can escape from the bloody Friday night rut I seem to be wedged in at the moment. Since I dissolved my relationship with Carole the Hare & Hounds has lost its attraction.

Stuart comes up at 8 o'clock and we go to Tony's place off Manningham Lane, Bradford. The poor sod pays £7 a week for a revolting bed-sit in the heart of Mecca with virtually no white men, or women for that matter, within a 50 mile radius. However, he is moving out next week & so he seems cheerful.

We have a drink in the Commercial and then another in the Chevin Inn, which is incredibly snobbish. Go to the Hare at 9.30 and Denise comes in with Carole. I shudder at the sight of her and the more I see of her the more I think she is unbalanced. Her eyes are so lifeless. Tony buys them both drinks.

Back to Tony's for coffee and home after midnight. Mum says John was round tonight.


Tuesday June 1, 1976

The First of Bleedin' June.

Up with the larks at 7.20 and devour a few slices of toast before making off down the lane at 8 o'clock. Jim Rawnsley doesn't pick me up as he usually does and so I have to travel by bus like a peasant.

Carol is not in the office & so I cannot speak to her about Friday night's excursion to the Emmotts. Sarah is in good form. She says she'll come to London on June 12 to see the Trooping of the Colour. It would be nice to arrange a party from work because I am rapidly running out of suitable chaperones. John was always a good companion on these adventures but circumstances of course prevent his continuing in this capacity.

Blimey! 26 days before Peter and I bugger off to Ibiza for a fortnight! Just three and half tiny weeks! I'm in two minds about declaring a State of Emergency because I feel so unprepared for the holiday. I have a passport, I will have three weeks pay. Clothes? Do I have suitable gear? Eeek! All these things have to be looked into!

See a Jimmy Cagney/Bogart 1939 film on TV and go to bed at 11pm after discovering that I haven't smashed all the glasses Mum has accused me of smashing. She expects everything to be in its correct place, and had not bothered looking in one of the other kitchen cupboards where they nestled in complete safety.


Monday May 31, 1976

Bank Holiday in England, N. Ireland and Wales. Wake up at 8.30 on the moors above Greenhow, not too far from Stump Cross Caverns. Feel slightly less like collapsing with pnuemonia today, although today I'm still snuffling and wheezing somewhat.

After a makeshift breakfast of baked beans and coffee Pete, Chris and I march up a hillside which has a commanding view of the whole of the Dales. Get back to the vans at about 9.30 - my cold is cleared now. Drive home with Chris. ________________.

Arrive home at 10.30am and receive severe injuries from Mum & Dad about THAT PARTY.
Mum gives me a complete run down on how many glasses have been broken, and she demands to know just WHO has slept in her bed. Bloody Hell, I feel like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. I remain silent on the subject. What can I possibly say to defend myself? I know I deceived them by having an orgy behind their backs, but boys will be boys won't they? To console them I take them to the Commercial at 1pm. Prop up the bar therein until 3 and we all come home in a pleasant, less explosive frame of mind.

My good deed of the day is to cut Mrs Monkman's lawns at 4 o'clock and later entertain her over a cup of tea. Feel dog tired all evening and go to bed at 11 o'clock.


Sunday May 30, 1976

Sunday after Ascension. A wet, filthy day at Pateley Bridge. Up at 8.30. We have to pay 75p for each van on the camp site. Bloody diabolical. Hang about in wonderful Pateley-by-the-Sea until the pub draws us in at 12 o'clock. Have fish and chips first and run up and down the main street looking for a chemist so that Chris could buy some anadin or something to relieve tooth-ache.

Pateley Bridge isn't exactly Yorkshire answer to St Tropez but it serves a purpose.

Carol and Igor (I think that's how you spell it. You know who I mean don't you? The chap with the hunchback who serves as right-hand man to Baron Frankenstein?) are in the Crown. Have a few pints of lager and I watch the others playing darts until chucking out time at 2 o'clock. Don't talk to me about bloody British licensing laws.

Back to the camp site to see Christine & Stuart for a few hours. The three of us park next to Christine and Stuart's tent, and Chris cooks Pete and me a meal. Eat at 6.30.

A chill coming on undoubtedly. Pete says that we 'pen pushers' have no resistance to germs. He last visited a doctor nine years ago to be treated for a broken arm. I say that the job you do has nothing to do with resistance to chills. Some people get them, others don't. Resistance to illness is as much a characteristic of a person as the colour of their eyes and sex drive, &c. Pete refused to listen to this theory.
I know how Darwin must have felt.


Saturday May 29, 1976

Wake at some God forsaken hour with excrusiating pains in my left leg. Cramp, I take it to be, but on inspecting the offending limb I discover a large conglomorate mass of what can only be described as nothing but vein. I sit on the edge of my bed and sigh. Why should it be my lot to undergo the trauma of a coronary thrombosis at my time of life? I am going to die without a fight, that's for certain. Ring Maria who doesn't know whether she's going to the wedding or not in the horribly wet conditions. I have a coffee and prepare a rough draft of my last will and testament.

To Menston at 12.45 and sit in the empty Methodist chapel for 10 minutes listening to the organist bashing away heartily. George Waite's Mum sits next to me and we sing the 23rd Psalm together. Only 15 people in church including the bride and groom. Helen looked fabulous - all flimsy and feminine - in fact like a Venetian lady from the 14th or 15th century, with the Juliet-style headdress. Both look so happy and matched and were the only people present who didn't seem to notice the pouring bloody rain. Maria and Carole arrived at 12.50 and sat on the other side of the chapel to me. Carole looked pale and almost insane. Her eyes dead and lifeless. The poor kid is taking life so seriously. She's going camping with Denise and 3,000 lads this afternoon. After the wedding Maria, Carole and I call in at the Hare for a drink. Carole leaves us at 3 and the two of us walk under Maria's umberella to Harry Ramsden's for a late luncheon.

Get home at 4pm. Pete M calls at 5 o'clock when along with Chris we leave for Pateley Bridge. Get to the pub at 7 o'clock and drink until 11 with the mob. Sleep in vans on a desolate hillside (Greenhow?). A good laugh all the same.


Friday May 28, 1976

Sir Harold Wilson's (resignation) Honours List was published this morning. (James) Goldsmith is a knight; Lew Grade and that nice Sir Bernard Delfont (who always makes the Queen so welcome at the Royal Variety Performance each year) are life peers; and even Mike Yarwood got something. He's OBE if I'm not mistaken. Lots of MPs are creating over certain names on the list but I consider it petty and ignorant of them. It is a retiring premier's privilege to honour whomsoever he choses and to argue with his decision is nothing short of treachery. After all, the Queen herself approved the names before the honours were conferred. Who argued when Churchill ennobled his doctor, Charles Moran? Poor old Harold cannot do anything right - not when the Press is Tory controlled anyway. You wouldn't think I was a Tory voter, would you?

Meet Tony and Stuart in the Central at 1pm. Go over with Eileen, who is 19 today. Buy her a few dry Martinis, but she seems miserable and dull. Leave the lads at 2 and go back to the office.

Meanwhile, that night: Tony comes up at 8 o'clock just half an hour after Lynn and Dave go to the Lakes until Tuesday. Spend an hour in the Hare and at 9 we go up to the Emmotts where the two of us meet Carol J and Marilyn. I feel uneasy and the girls, especially Carol, are unusually silent. At 11.15 we shoot off in the direction of Leeds for a meal of some kind. End up at the 'Damn Yankee' until some unearthly hour. A costly and uninteresting evening.


Thursday May 27, 1976

To Oakwood Hall with Tony and his friend Stuart (Walker), who is manager of the Ilkley branch of W.H. Smith. Have a good night._________________________. Stuart is a nice lad.

Back to our place at 1.30am for coffee and 'Monty Python Live at Drury Lane'. We're out on Friday night too. It will make a change from the usual meeting of 'Wrist Slashers Anonymous' at the Hare.



Wednesday May 26, 1976

Buy Helen and Graham a ridiculous pepper mill in Schofield's. Don't suppose they'll ever use the damned thing, but at least it's something.

March down the lane at 8.30pm with the pepper mill suitably wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper. Contemplate my life.

Received another letter from Carole today begging me to go back out with her under any conditions. She says if she only sees me once a month she'll be happy. She included in the photographs we had taken at Blackpool at Easter. How can she expect me to go back to her? A fool she is, and a fool she'll always be if she continues with this silly craze.

Meet Helen at 9 o'clock and we walk across to the Malt Shovel for a quick drink. (A quick four or five drinks actually.) We talk about our lives and listening to Helen's sordid history over the past three years one realises how fantastic she must feel being settled at last. She tells me that everyone should have experience of living alone, away from home and parents, before marriage is contemplated. She says home life is cushy and people have no idea how to cope on their own until they do this. I disagree on this. Look at the happy marriages that have worked between people of no previous 'domesticated' experience? Walk her home at 11 o'clock after wishing her all the luck in the world. I take my leave and walk home. A mild, tranquil night.


Tuesday May 25, 1976

A Traumatic evening. At about 7 o'clock Lynn cut her finger on a corned beef tin and collapsed in the kitchen while Sue and I looked on in horror. Lynn isn't the squeamish type at all, and I am startled to see a normal, level headed girl flaking out at the sight of a splash of blood. She was soon conscious and pulled round. The poor thing shed a few tears, but David was clowning around in his usual fashion in order to revive her. When she was fully recovered she and Sue entertained David and Peter to a meal whilst I languished in the bath 'to keep out of the way'. See a film on BBC1 - 'Three Into One Won't Go', or perhaps 'Two into One Won't Go' or was it three? Starring Rod Steiger and one of the Geeson tarts. I have seen it before and cannot say that I am impressed by it. Better than 'Coronation Street' anyway.

Bed after eleven.

(Go on, I bet you're all asking bed after eleven what? Well it isn't what you think. It wasn't eleven women, or men for that matter. Neither did I devour eleven oranges or take eleven peeps at my life-sized colour photograph of a naked Angela Rippon - in fact it was after the hour of eleven o'clock. Goodnight to one and all.)


Monday May 24, 1976

Hear the alarm clock for the first time in months and lay awake until I hear Lynn plodding around the house at 7.30. She complains about me having a party as though I'm a small child. What's happened to the adventurous, boisterous sister of mine? If a lad can't have a bit of a party occasionally he might as well go live in a Russian labour camp or something. All work and no play isn't something I adhere to at all. Is poor Lynn forgetting what it's like to indulge in a bit of good, old, dirty fun?

Work: we laugh at Saturday night and Sunday mornings escapades. Evidently, when I was at Carol's I was chasing one of the cats all over the building in awe at the sight of such an amazing creature. On being reminded that I am severely allergic our feline friends I am reported to have exclaimed: "Oh, is she a cat?" What on earth did I imagine I was so attentively pursuing? This question, unfortunately, remains unanswered.

Sarah tells me that Peter B thinks he knows me from somewhere. I tell her his face is very familiar. Where have we crossed paths before? This is another mysterious, unanswerable question.

Home at 5.15 after calling in at a shop in Guiseley for a loaf. Chicken and chips for tea with Lynn & Susan. Just the three of us. Sometimes I feel that our family is dwindling away. Things are bad enough without John, and Mum and Dad away make something of a large gap. Lynn tells me that she met CB this morning, who told her every detail of Saturdays events. I cringe at the very thought of CB's colourful descriptions of Mrs Monkman yelling abuse from her bedroom window and other tales of a blood-curdling nature. A sharp, rebuking letter is called for. I don't believe in hiding things from Lynn or purposely deceiving her, but the complete gory details are quite unnecessary. Dear me.


Sunday May 23, 1976

Rogation Sunday. Drive home from Marilyn and Carol's flat at about 8.30. My eyes pour with water and itch. Eileen, Michael and Helen are the only survivors, or so it seems. Christine & Roger are in Mum & Dad's bed, and Denise and Peter are in Lynn & Sue's room.

We make breakfast - Eileen and me that is - and one by one they drift downstairs. My cat fever soon passes and breakfast is followed by a wrestling match between Christine & Roger. She was so drunk last night. It's my first real conversation with Roger, who isn't half as bad as he likes to make others believe.

Helen goes off and Keith makes an exit with Denise in the direction of the moors. They get back an hour or so later and make breakfast for themselves.

By 12.30 Eileen and Michael have gone, and at 1pm I stagger into bed. I am woken ten minutes later by Carole on the phone. She chats about last night. She didn't attempt to do herself in. All she did was cut her finger on a Martini bottle which she accidentally dropped on the drive. She says she knows I hate her, which just isn't true, and goes on to say she will always love me. I don't say anything of importance andgo back to bed. Can't sleep at all and get up for good at 2pm. Watch a Shirley Temple film with Keith who comes at 2.30. We drive over to see Denise and the three of us go to Harrogate's Valley Gardens in the spitfire. It's something of a squeeze but we have a laugh. The fresh air did a lot to revive me. Keith and Denise are hand in hand all afternoon _________________. Back to her place for 6.30 and home for 7 o'clock. Bid farewell to Keith until next weekend. Chris and Pete call in at 8.15 just as Lynn and Sue return home. The three of us go to Linton and then to Grassington. End up in the Fish Dish in Ilkley at 11.15. A good evening out which I undertook with my fly open until a gent let me know I was being indecent in the Devonshire.



Saturday May 22, 1976

Mum gets me up at 9.30 and they're away on holiday to the Isle of Skye at 10.30.

I hang about at home until 3pm when I ring Denise and arrange to meet her in Bradford at 5.30 after I've done some shopping.

Cook myself a piece of steak at lunchtime and by 3.30 I'm in Bradford succumbing to the charms of a devious shop assistant who forces me into purchasing two T-shirts - £10!!

Meet Denise at 5.30 and travel to Bramhope where we have fish fingers and cannon ball peas for tea. Peter M comes in at 7.30 and catches a mouse scurrying across the kitchen floor. The poor thing collapsed and died in his hands five minutes later - must have been the shock of seeing Peter M close up. P was heartbroken.

To the Hare at 8.30. Everyone comes: John, Maria, Sarah, Peter, Carol, Marilyn, Cousin Jackie, her boyfriend Don, Tony, Denise, Chris, Pete M, CB, CD, Keith, Carol Smith, Carole, Linda S, Ann from the USA with her sister Carol, Christine 'Snow' White, Eileen, Michael, Roger Boughton, Naomi and her Welsh cousin Helen, &c, and many more.

Fantastic party. Jackie disappeared early with a stomach disorder, but otherwise all was fine. At 4.30am Keith drove me and Marilyn to Carol J's flat in Horsforth where we stayed until 8.

Sarah was a good laugh and her boyfriend Peter is quite a decent chap really. John thinks he resembles David Hamilton which may be the reason why I think I've seen him somewhere before.


Friday May 21, 1976

Meet Denise and Marita in the Central at 12.30. Eileen joins us at 1pm. Have a few drinks and discuss plans for the party. Marita probably won't make it because she's going to MM's at Sheffield.

At 2.15 Denise and I move on to Parker's wine bar and get through a full bottle of white wine in 45 minutes. Talk about our relationships with the opposite sex. ______.

At 5 o'clock we get the train to Guiseley and have a cup of tea with Mum & Dad. At 7 we both go to the Hare & into the steak bar. My steak is too well done, but otherwise it is very good. Through in the bar all the brigade are assembled. Even Tony is in. Denise and I sit with him and we end up singing 'Jerusalem' and 'Onward Christian Soldiers!' Helen joins us too. Chris is in with Carole, John and Maria.

Tony brings me home at 11. We are going to Oakwood Hall on Thursday I think. Feel rarther drunk. See 'The Third Man' on TV. Bed after 1am.



Thursday May 20, 1976

Out with Christopher to the Hare & Hounds and the Black Bull. Discuss Miss Phillips. He says she asked him out today and that she's started to phone him twice every afternoon. He seems angry about it, but insists he's made his feelings quite clear. He tried to put her off by telling her he only goes out with women 'for one thing' - Oh, big mistake. Knowing Carole such a statement will only make her all the more eager, because if anyone's a nymphomaniac she is. I have no intention to be catty about my ex, but it's plainly obvious to me that she wants a man quite desperately and isn't particularly bothered who he is , where he's from, or in what circumstances he came into her possession. I, quite naturally, caution Chris, but he seems to know the dangers. He cannot understand why she should have started professing her love for him, whilst sending revolting romantic bosh, in letter form, to me. The poor girl is neurotic or something and should not be touched with a barge pole by anyone in trousers until she matures enough to form serious feelings for an individual. Here endeth the lecture. Besides, a barge pole wouldn't be big enough.

Finish up at the Black Bull and arrive home at 11 o'clock to hear that John had been round wanting to know my whereabouts.


Wednesday May 19, 1976

Mum and Dad are purposely refraining from letting me know just where they are going at the weekend so that I will not make arrangements for the usual orgy. However, I am gambling that Saturday morning will see their departure north, south, east or west. They know full well that I will have a 'party'.

All Carole's letters to me are now destroyed. She sent me yet another one today vowing the usual things - eternal love, devotion, &c. I find it nauseating to say the least and will prove this by burning every item of her correspondence. Never before have I thrown letters away. June's are still intact, and of course CB's are piled up in bundles. Carole's are nothing but paper to me. The words are uninteresting and strangely false, as though she's copied the lot from a sickly, grotesque romantic novel. I would never have read them again.


Tuesday May 18, 1976

A warm, pleasant day. Go into town at lunchtime and collect the two Elton John records and at the same time order 'Make Me Smile' by Cockney Rebel for Christine. Why can't a chap buy a ladyfriend a gift occasionally? Nip unaccompanied into the Ostlers and have a couple of lagers.

Main topic at work is the coming events of Saturday night. Darryl Wills says he's coming when he hears that Sarah is attending. If she brings Peter, her boyfriend, we'll all be done for, but knowing Sarah I can see her turning up in a single capacity just to please me (wishful thinking).

Mr Monkman was buried today at 2.30. Dad and Ernest Blackwell represented the Hawksworth Lane residents, but I didn't fancy the idea at all. Funerals are not things one should rush into are they?

David rings at 7 o'clock to say his Dad is in hospital following a mild heart attack! God Almighty! That family is in a bad state! Mr Lawson always appears to be such a healthy chap too. He comes up to our place at 8.30 (David) and we go to the Queen's on Apperley Lane to meet Marita and Denise for a few drinks. It made a change going out on a Tuesday. We had a few laughs. David goes back into hospital on Friday and doesn't think he'll be well enough to come on Saturday.


Monday May 17, 1976

Woke up at about 5.30am and staggered to the kitchen for a glass of orange juice. Don't usually see the light of day until about 8 o'clock and decide that Dad getting ready for work is the cause of my wakening. Climb back in bed and sleep until 7.30.

To work with Jim. He doesn't have much to say but I suppose affairs of state are preying on his mind. Monarchical duties should never be taken on by one who isn't willing to dedicate his life to the service of his country.

Nothing in the news. Write to Jackie about the possible events of next Saturday.______. I'd still like her if she made it common knowledge she'd slept with Rudolf Hess. I am a very broad minded cousin really. Sarah, Carol J and the others are also coming on Saturday. However, seeing will be believing I'm afraid.

Salad for tea. At Whitsuntide I suggest to Susan that she should invite John and Maria to stay for the weekend because otherwise she will be alone. I'm going camping with Chris and Peter, Mum and Dad will still be on holiday and Lynn and Dave are also venturing off. The poor girl can't spend a weekend in solitary confinement.

Look at the garden after tea and notice next door that old Mrs Monkman is sitting watching the TV quite alone. She must feel horribly lonely.

See a good film starring Franco Nero at 9.20 and come to bed at 11.30. Tired and shagged out.


Sunday May 16, 1976

4th after Easter. A long, typically tiresome Sunday. Watch television until 5pm with Mum, Lynn and David. Kept enthralled by 'The Best of Upstairs, Downstairs' and part 96 of 'World at War'. Fall into a nice bath at 5 and wallow listening to the radio until 7.

Worried about my photo albums. Should I dismantle them and send Carole a selection? She did pay for some of them after all. Can't make my mind up what to do.

Chat with Lynn and Dave about the holiday. They question me about Cala Millor.

To the Clapgate at 8.30 with Chris and Peter. Chris drives to Bramhope then we go the rest of the way in Pete's van. A good time. My first visit to the pub, somewhere near Sicklinghall or Kirby Overblow. They (C & P) were both out with John and Maria last night. Home at 11. Ugh, Monday tomorrow.


Saturday May 15, 1976

David L's renunciation of alcohol deters him from dwelling for long periods in public houses and I sympathise with him entirely. If I'd been told not to touch the stuff again (drink) a dimly lit ale house would be last place you'd find me. The poor sod must have suffered a lot because his diet now prevents him from eating virtually anything he ate prior to his illness.

Go see 'Cabaret' with David at 6.30 in Shipley. Excellent film. Four years old though, but much better than I thought it would be. Only about 20 people in the cinema.

Home at 10.45 and see 'The Hound of the Baskerville's' on the BBC. A pathetic film in which Peter Cushing gives a poor, half-hearted performance as Sherlock Holmes. Conan Doyle would be spinning in his grave I'm sure. Never once seen Cushing in a decent film.

Retire to bed at 1.30am or thereabouts and sit watching the moon which looks quite full.


Friday May 14, 1976

Eileen and I go to the Ostlers at 1pm for yet another 'liquid' lunch. We havn't been out together for quite a long time and it certainly made a change. Leave work at 4.30 for yet another weekend.

David, out of hospital, collects me at 8 o'clock and we go to the Hare & Hounds. Christine Dibb and her boyfriend are holding court, and Judith R and Kathryn are in. J offered her condolences about Carole. I feel nervous and peculiar because I know Miss Phillips will be coming in. She arrives with Chris and says hello quite cordially. They're followed by Andy, Linda, Pete M and Denise, and then Keith B and John and Maria. CB comes in with Roger. Poor David cannot touch alcohol before Christmas and even after that he'll never be allowed to get pissed again. Horrific isnt it? He drank tomato juice, but this disagreed with him, and he had to drink water. We decide to go see Liza Minelli in 'Cabaret' tomorrow.

Move on to the Black Bull in Otley. ______________________________.


Thursday May 13, 1976

Pay day. Meet Dave B for lunch at the Ostlers. Purchase the LP 'Elton John's Greatest Hits' and ordered 'Island Girl' and 'Someone Saved My Life Tonight'. Busy time really. Lunch 12.30-2pm. Writing it all in brief because I cannot be bothered with detail. Home on train at 6pm and hear that Harry Monkman died at Falmouth in the night. I last spoke to him a week last Wednesday when he passed comment that his lawn was in a far better condition than ours. He'd just put tons of fertilizer all over his, at great expense, and I'm saddened that he'll never see the lush growth that his labours will undoubtedly produce. He must have been 80, and I feel a bit sorry for Maud, who is almost blind. I was never fond of him.

Ring Dave L who came out of hospital today. He will be out and about tomorrow night - but no alcohol whatsoever. Glad he's home. Probably going to see 'Cabaret' on Saturday. Dave B brings me the 'Who Loves You' LP from Denise. She bought me it in return for the Cow & Calf excursion last week. Play both LPs - they're really great.

Hear that Uncle Peter came for lunch today. He's brilliant - salt of the earth.


Wednesday May 12, 1976

At 9pm go down to the Hare with Chris. Denise and Marita are sat therein - Marita!!

Not a good a night really. Sickened off with things. Bugger off.

No, hang on a minute. Chris took Carole out on Monday and I bet she's worming her way into his affections now. ________________________________.


Tuesday May 11, 1976

Another boring day at work. Sick to death of the damnable place. Should I run away to sea or not? What sort of lolly are Admirals of the Fleet on at the moment?

Leave (the YP) at 4.30 and get soaked in a bloody downpour. Home for dinner with Mum, Dad, Lynn & Sue. Mum and Dad discuss family marriages and things and say they want plenty of notice before the three of us take the plunge. I assure them they need not worry about me rushing down the aisle in a hurry. I'd like to be the last one in the family to be married off - the first to arrive and the last to leave.

Don't bother reading the papers today. They're all full of trash. 'The agony of Jeremy Thorpe', &c. and 'Marion keeping vigil at husband's graveside', &c.

CB rang at 2.30 and I told her about the weekend. She was amazed that Chris took Carole out. We had a good laugh at the general state of affairs. She is still going strong with Roger. No more to be said about that.


Monday May 10, 1976

A bright warm day. Boring at work and uneventful. Jeremy Thorpe resigned as Liberal party leader this afternoon, which is no surprise really. After seeing several letters from him to Norman Scott published in this morning's papers it was obvious he had to go. No doubt Cyril Smith will be pushing his way to the front line now.

Meet Carole in Guiseley - quite accidentally of course, and walk with her to Ridgeway where she's going to see Maria. She seemed composed and calm. She was pale and drawn and I made no attempt to act soft with her. She asked me why, on learning of her suicide attempt, I had not sent her a bunch of flowers! I told her quite seriously that circumstances almost made it possible for me to send her a wreath. She called me a 'sod'. I ask her to pass on my regards to Maria, but don't think they'll be conveyed.

Home for tea at 5.30. The news is dominated with Mr Thorpe's resignation. I can't help feeling rarther sorry for him. However, the world isn't quite ready for sexually deviant political leaders.

Watch TV all evening and have a bath at 10.15. Finish 'Service with a Smile' by Wodehouse and begin 'Bachelors Anonymous' and retire to bed after midnight.


Sunday May 9, 1976

3rd after Easter. In contrast with yesterday it is wet, cold and dismal. A typical boring Sunday.

Denise rings at mid-day and says she's going to see the David Bowie film this afternoon and cannot come up to see me.

Do nothing but eat all day. Sometimes I wonder why my apetite is so large. Must be all this sexual activity and generally dissipated way of life. No such bloody luck!

See the D.H. Lawrence film 'Virgin and the Gypsy' which I first saw years ago with David L. A good film, but my memory of it was that it was much more 'dirty'. However, what is 'dirty' at 15 is very often tedius and insignificant at 21. Yes, it's senility creeping up on me.

Ring Chris and he says he took Carole to the Craven Heifer yesterday. He didn't go into great detail but tells me she was more 'cheerful and back to her usual self'. John and Maria went too. No doubt my name was dirt.

Bed at 11.40pm. Read P.G. Wodehouse's 'Service with a Smile'. Very funny indeed.



Saturday May 8, 1976

A scorching hot day. 80F degrees in London and near that temperature up in the provinces.

Get up late and sit in the garden with P.G. Wodehouse, Mum and Lynn. David B comes up at 1.30 and we all have lunch together. Just as I was about to tuck in the phone rings and it's Carole. She hasn't gone to London because her Uncle Robert is having financial difficulties. She still sounds down in the dumps but I do not arrange to meet her. Back in the deckchair in the garden and an hour later CB drives up to lend me a fiver she promised me yesterday. She's going out with Roger tonight and so I won't be seeing her until next weekend.

Denise rings at 6 o'clock to say Peter is giving her a lift to the Hare at 8.45, and she adds that Chris is taking Carole out tonight! Quick worker. Carole rang Chris at lunchtime and she more or less twisted his arm. God knows how they'll get on together. I'll contact him tomorrow for a full unabridged match report.

Go to the Hare at 9 and Peter comes in with Denise ten minutes later. None of the
crowd in the Hare. Peter goes off with his cronies and at 9.30 just Denise and I are left wondering what to do. Ring for a taxi and go up to Oakwood Hall - £5.50 return. Horror of horrors though for on our arrival they don't let me in because I'm in jeans! We go on to the Cow & Calf for a further quid. £6.50 just to go to the bloody Cow! Disgusting evening. Never have I seen so many dregs of society under one roof. A revolting experience indeed but despite all this Denise and I try to enjoy ourselves. Peter comes in with his cronies but they keep themselves to themselves. Home at 2.30 and Dad arrives at about the same time.

Read P.G. Wodehouse in bed until the book falls from my hands.


Friday May 7, 1976

Hilarious day. Get up at about 9 o'clock and Christine arrives about an hour later. Take a photograph of her wearing Dad's police helmet which should be brilliant.

Arrive Otley at 11 o'clock and have a greasy sandwich in an equally greasy cafe and then go straight in to the Black Bull. The weather is becoming really bright and warm, and we watch its progress from the cool darkness of the bar. Drink until 4 o'clock and then walk up to see David in hospital. The ward is boiling hot and most of the patients lay in semi-conscious exhaustion on top of their beds. We can only bear it for half an hour or so. David looks pounds better and says he may be out by next weekend. Walk back to Otley Market Square and once again into the Black Bull which opens for the evening onslaught. The bar staff are baffled as to why we aren't unconscious. Christine and I discuss our relationship and we come to the conclusion that we'll get married in twenty years time when we both look round and realise we've been left on the shelf.

Leave the Black Bull at 7.30 in a thunderstorm and go straight to the Hare in a taxi. Immediately on our arrival she throws herself into the arms of Roger Boughton - the blackguard - and I go sit with Chris, Denise, Andy, Linda, Sue & Peter. I begin to have a hangover at 9.30. Nearly got thrown out of the pub after groping with Denise for all to see. Chris brings me home and I go up to bed after cheese on toast.


Thursday May 6, 1976

The phone got me out of bed at 9.10am. It was Carole. She sounded ever so pathetic and sad but wasn't making any attempt to get me to change my mind. She says she is very sorry for what she has done to herself, and she quite understands me not wishing to go and see her. Lynn and Sue have cheered her up tremendously and for that she is grateful. She is going to London tomorrow for a week.

Boring day really. Lounge about in the house and break off only for a nice, big lunch at 1.30 with Mum & Dad. Christine rings at 2.30 to say she and Chris finished last night in Horsforth. So that's why Chris rang me at 11.30 whilst I was still walking home from the Hare. Arrange to meet at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning. Chris rings ten minutes after Christine and we arrange to meet tonight. He collects me at 8.30 and we go to the Old Star at Collingham and then the Scotts Arms at Sickinghall. We had a good chat about things & it certainly felt odd. Who'd have thought the situation could alter so much in the space of three days? Come home through Otley where we had fish and chips and then on home. Later I had crab sandwiches in bed swilled down with cocoa.


Wednesday May 5, 1976

I cannot believe that the events of the past few days have really taken place. Carole trying to kill herself? And God it is all my fault. If I had not ended everything she would never have contemplated such action. But no amount of wrist slashing will make me go back on my decision. How could anyone go out with a girl knowing that any upset or setback could result in her trying to do away with herself?
She must be unbalanced. I feel sick about the whole business.

Woke up at 8.30. Mum tells me she and Dad may go see Carole this lunchtime on my behalf. I will never go. Get up at 9 o'clock and want to ring someone. Chris is having a morning in bed and won't come to the phone; ring Denise, and she is on day-off, & so I'm totally foiled. Should I blame myself? Did I give her a false impression all those months? Did she expect more from me than she received? I have always made my position quite clear, but she may not have understood. She is not the perceptive kind. Poor girl.

Sit alone in complete silence for what seems like ages. Feel numb and sickened off.

Peter and Chris come up at 12.30 and I tell them the news. They are shocked. Chris says she must need pyschiatric treatment. They try to assure me that I am not to blame. The three of us go the Commercial for lunch and then to collect CB at 2.30.

Go see David in hospital and he looks greatly improved. Denise and Marita call in to see him and I tell them about Carole. __________________________. Home at 4.30.

Dad went to see Carole this lunchtime and found her in a terrible state. He lectures me on my treatment of women, and says the situation has been dynamite for a long time. However, he has no sympathy for what she did & is sickened by it all.

Lynn & Susan go see Carole this evening and I go to the Hare & Hounds with John, CB, Pete and Chris. CB says she and Chris have more or less finished but that they're both waiting for the first one to make a move.


Tuesday May 4, 1976

I got up at 9.30 and Chris and Christine came at 10.30 and persuaded me to go to Scarborough after all. I am miserable and upset about last night, but C & C show me no sympathy and I am soon quite cheerful.

Scarborough was quite pleasant and we stayed until about 5pm. Scampi and chips at a pub at Stamford Bridge and home in pouring rain at about 10.30.

A terrible thing has happened. Carole made an attempt on her life this morning and was saved from death by her brother when he came home for lunch. She slashed her wrists.

Mum told me the news when I came in. Mrs P phoned to say C has had 18 stitches in one wrist and 15 in the other. Peter definately saved her life. I didn't speak to Mrs P but she told Mum that Carole would like to see me tomorrow afternoon. I will never go. How can I meet somebody who is quite prepared to have her death on my conscience for the rest of my life? The suicidal person will never get sympathy from me. I am shattered all the same. Mum is in a terrible state. Traumatic day.


Monday May 3, 1976

Go to Bradford with my holiday money and meet Denise at the Painted Wagon. She tells me she and Tony finished on Easter Saturday which surprised me. I tell her it's only a matter of time before Carole and I are also washed up on the rocks.

Glad that the holiday is paid for anyway. Came home on the bus brooding about Carole.
Yesterday she was like a cabbage. Her moronic appearance is getting me down. I decide to break it off once and for all.

Dad takes me to see David in hospital at 4 o'clock. He looks terrible. A bottle of blood hangs above his bed with a tube leading to his arm. Five pints (of blood) he's had since last night. A hemorrhaged duodenal ulcer at 21 is a rare thing I think. He still managed to crack the occasional joke though.

Meet Carole at 7.30 and by 8 o'clock I've made my feelings known to her. Four hours of tears from both of us and hysterics from her which included a spectacular battle in the pouring rain at 1.15am. She looked heart broken and desperate but how could we have continued in a 'relationship' when I feel so bored & uninterested ?


Sunday May 2, 1976

2nd after Easter. To Mallory Park in Derbyshire or Leicestershire. It's at Kirby Mallory anyway. See a few good motor races and get a glimpse of Noel Edmonds, who was surrounded by nine million female admirers (Christine and Carole included). It is nauseating the way women find him so attractive. (Jealousy).

Leave at about 4.30 and come back to the Menston Arms where Carole has an accident with a ham sandwich and slops the filling all over the carpet. Move hurriedly on to the Black Bull in Otley. From 9 o'clock until 10.30 Carole said nothing at all. Everyone remarks on her sullen, dull witted appearance.

Home at closing time. Carole fell out of Chris's van and hurt her leg. What a state. She was still covered in the remnants of the the Menston Arms sandwich too. She's so accident prone.

Get home where Sue tells me David L is in hospital again. Lynn is going on at me for not having visited him since he started being ill, but David isn't the type to appreciate wailing friends and relatives at the foot of his bed. However, he'll have to grin and bear it tomorrow because I will descend on the hospital with due ceremony.


Saturday May 1, 1976

To the Hare as usual with Sue and Pete, and of course Carole. The beer and lager pumps are not functioning and so I drink Campari. Chris and Christine come in and we decide to venture to Oakwood Hall. Sue & Pete wait for John and Maria to give them a lift. Carole and I go with Chris. Boring night. Carole and I say the absolute minimum to each other and Chris and Christine argue like cat and dog. John and Maria come in with Sue & Pete but they leave after an hour or so. John was quiet, and wore a look of contentment on his cherubic face. Maria was animated and chatty.

Leave Oakwood at 1.30 but feel as though it's 4.30am. Carole and I are still silent on the journey home. Mallory Park tomorrow holds little rellish for me because of my crumbling romance.


Friday April 30, 1976

Carole, Chris, Christine, Martyn and I escape from the Hare & Hounds quite early and head for the Red Lion at Burley-in-Wharfedale which personally I don't like, but I'm not driving am I? We have a good laugh and Martyn and I discuss the events of last Friday. He was violently sick on Saturday too - which makes me feel a lot better. I loathe being the odd one out.

Carole was happy enough in the pub but her temperament changed dramatically on the way home and she left me without so much as a 'goodbye'. Miserable lady, that's what she is.

Cannot help raving about Elton John. He was the sole topic of discussion the whole day at work and we are all now confirmed EJ addicts for life from now on. Even Carole enjoyed it. I expected the usual bitchy comments from the library staff of their first sighting of my girlfriend, but received none whatsoever.


Thursday April 29, 1976

The Elton John concert tonight was indescribable. Brilliant, and the absolute ultimate in sound. For £6 Carole and I had immaculate entertainment. He came on stage at 8.30 and stayed until after eleven. He did all his famous pieces, and only a minimum of obscure ones. Missed the last bus home and had to walk from Rawdon. Carole stayed at our house because I din't want her walking to Menston. Saw a woman pissing all over a bus shelter in Guiseley, and laughed all the way home. Home for 1am absolutely deafened by fantastic Elton, and crippled. Shagged out entirely.


Wednesday April 28, 1976

Buy a pair of jeans and go out wearing them tonight in order to give them a trial run for tomorrow night's Elton John concert. Meet Carole near the Hare & Hounds at 8 o'clock and spend a boring, unimaginative, speechless evening propping up the juke box. On the rare occasions we do speak it's only to hurl silly, childish insults at one another. I'm cheesed off with the whole rigmarole. She knows it too. Carole thinks that all couples behave the same way as we do. Look at her bloody family.


Tuesday April 27, 1976

Dad and I get a lift to Leeds with Jim at 8 o'clock. Jim attempts to describe in full, scene by scene, a fill he watched on TV on Saturday night, which takes up the entire half hour journey. I don't like second hand films.

Busy day. Work through luncheon and leave at 3.30. Collect 'Feelings' by Maurice Albert from the EMI shop and get a bus at 3.50. Bright, sunny journey home, and meet Dad in Guiseley. I don't know how we managed to miss one another. Only two buses leave Leeds in any one day and he was on one and I the other. Typical.


Monday April 26, 1976

For the first time in months I passed a whole day without seeing or hearing from Carole. I feel better for it really because at times I'm close to suffocation with it all. I need to feel free and uncaged. Not that she imposes any restrictions on me understand. Oh to be Robinson Crusoe.

Busy at the YP. Kathleen is on holiday for the week. See on the 9 o'clock news that Sid James, the comedian, has died. A fan of the 'Carry On' films as I once was - in my youth - cannot help feeling sad at this loss. Best remembered for his haggard face and dirty laugh.

See a good film 'If' starring Malcolm McDowell. I've seen it before and enjoyed it the first time. Shows the public school system in a bad light. Any parent who sends an impressionable child away to a boarding school can only expect to get a feeble, perverted, homosexual back at the end of the 5 or 6 year stint because the places are dens of sadistic cruelty.