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Monday October 9, 1978

Jacq phones to say her gorgeous friend Lynda is off work with a bad back and jokingly asks what I did with her in the garden to put her in that condition.

Kathleen has gone to the Lake District for a week. Her plan has back~fired. She booked the week off thinking a general election would have been taking place this Thursday.

The Daily Mail says the goddess Princess Michael of Kent is going to have a baby in April. We shall have to wait for the official notification of this addition to the Royal House of Windsor.

Mum and Dad have squabbled about something and refuse to speak. They sat in stony silence all night while I watched "Till Death Us Do Part" the 1969 film of the famous tv series. It's obnoxious. Bed at 11:30. Poor Alison.


Sunday October 8, 1978

20th after Trinity

Out of bed at 11:30. Spent the afternoon with Mummy. Dad was working and the three of us watched the television in silence until Sarah came over at about 3 to collect some of Auntie Delia's flower arranging equipment. We watched a Jack Lemmon film together and knocked back a few glasses of lager.

Lynn,Dave, Sue and Pete arrived home at 8:30 from Alison and John's bearing tidings of great sadness. At first Lynn says John has got 'cold feet' over the forthcoming wedding, and I don't think it's too serious because many people have last minute doubts, but she goes on to say more. __________________________________________.


Saturday October 7, 1978

Sun rises 07:10 sun sets 18:26

Sunny, warm, bright day. Out of bed at about 11:30 and into a hot bath with the radio blasting at full throttle. I do so love Saturdays.

Jacq phoned me while my ears were full of soap so I told her to ring me back. She rang back at about 2. I arranged to meet her in Horsforth tonight.

Dad collected the proofs of Lynn and Dave's wedding photos from Bryan Waite this afternoon. They're spectacular.

Sarah phoned me at tea time and I told her I'd be up to West End Lane for 8 o'clock. Met Jacq at 8 following a chase through Horsforth because the bus conductor forgot to kick her off the omnibus at her stop.

We went by car with Sarah to the off~licence where I spent £4 on Cinzano, beer and lager. Then we went to the Regent in Chapel Allerton where the party goers gathered. Tony, Martyn, with his girlfriend (who lives in Otley, and who he met in Ibiza in '77)Marilyn, Carol J, &c. Jacq drank 'Jelly Beans'. Sarah was a delight, as usual. A guy strongly resembling Geoff Boycott tagged onto us, and had me in stitches with tales of his recent holiday in Romania. I couldn't think of a worse place to go. Bloody Commies! Tony was very amiable. My recollections of leaving the Regent are blurred and confused. However, I do recall the dramatic arrival at the flat in Horsforth.

Bev Wheeler had lined the driveway with hundreds of candles in jars and I joked that all the aircraft scheduled to land at Yeadon airport tonight would probably come down in the garden. She didn't find this particularly amusing.

Sarah and I smoked 20 of Jacq's cigarettes. I had a debate on racialism with some guy masquerading as a barrister. Sarah was in hysterics when I explained to her that we Brits smell revolting to Pakistanis. They may stink of curry and spices, but to them we smell of stale Yorkshire pudding, and fried smoked bacon.

A friend of Jacq's called Lynda, who used to work at Dacre Son & Hartley caught my eye _______________________.

Sarah picked up a young man called Richard and they left at 4:30am. Carol J and Tony brought us home at 5 o'clock. We didn't attempt to get any sleep until 7.


Friday October 6, 1978

Woke up with a really bad head at 7:30. I annoy Sue because I refuse to be enthusiastic first thing on a morning. After all, I didn't actually climb into my bed until 4am, and that came after gulping down more plonk with Jim & Margaret. It's Margaret's birthday on Tuesday ~ another excuse for a party.

Work was like Hell on earth. My eyes took on a scarlet hue and a pale, revolting complexion took over and occupied my face. However, at 1pm Sarah, Carol J, Eileen and I went across to Parker's. It was hideous. I simply could not drink and felt quite faint.

Eileen was like a stuffed osprey in the natural history section of the British Museum, or wherever they store the stuffed, glassy eyed birds. Sarah met an old flame and proceeded to chat him up. I could take no more and wandered outside at 2 and sat on a wall to wait for them. All too ridiculous for words.

Jacq phoned this afternoon and asked: "Is this Let's Be Nasty to Jacq Week?" __________________________________.

After tea Auntie Mabel, Marlene, Frank. Mark & Debbie came bringing the cine film of the wedding. It's marvellous and well worth seeing. I was too tired to be at my best with relatives. Bed at 11:30.

Lynn, Dave, Sue and Pete set off late to Alison's to be kitted out with bridesmaid dresses, &c for the forthcoming marital celebrations. They're due back late tomorrow.


Thursday October 5, 1978

Piss up with the boys at the Shoulder of Mutton. No communication from Jacq.

To the pub at 8 with Pete, Gus, Chippy, Tony Smith, Dave Wainwright, &c, &c. Frank Hall came in - slightly bruised and bandaged and bloody lucky to be alive.His car is in a revolting state. Pete says it looks like an old egg box.

From the Shoulder we went to the Highroyds Social Club at Menston. Rick Ryder tells me that poor, darling Carole is back in hospital again and has put on a lot of weight. I must find out just what is going on here. I do think a lot of her, you know. _________________.

Went on to Oakwood Hall for even more of that foul, wet, pale brown liquid. Gluttons for punishment. But if you can't kill yourself with drink at 23, when can you?

At about one o'clock we lads were asked to quit the dance floor because we were dancing together and not with female partners. We had a heated discussion with several of the staff on the age~old subject of sex equality, but failed to win them over. We pointed to the groups of girls dancing quite freely and without partners of the opposite sex. Blimey, it's not 'Come Dancing'.

Back to Pine Tops with Pete. Mum and Dad, Jim and Margaret are getting horribly drunk in the garden.


Wednesday October 4, 1978

No news from Jacq today.

Saw Marita on Wellington Street. She told me Carole and Fogarty came from their Ibiza holiday a few days early because she almost drowned in their hotel swimming pool. She had the 'kiss of life' job ~ poor child. Forever dogged by illness and misfortune.

Lord Grosvenor, reputedly one of Britain's wealthiest men, marries Natalia Phillips next weekend at Luton Hoo, Bedfordshire. Miss Phillips, aged 19, is the daughter of Lieutenant-Colonel and Mrs Harold Phillips, close friends of our own dear Queen, and a granddaughter of Lady Zia Wernher. In the time it's taken me to write this I have calculated that the Grosvenor fortunes have swelled by £250. It just doesn't bear thinking about. It may also interest you to know that the future Countess Grosvenor's elder sister is the Marchioness of Hamilton, daughter~in~law of the Duke of Abercorn.

However, to come back down to earth. Saw 'Coronation Street' and read Hitler. Nothing else.


Tuesday October 3, 1978

Sorry about the change of ink again (from red to black). I really am quite sick of the red mess that's dominated these pages since Lynne Mather's demise in February, 1977. I do feel that the time for celebration is over, don't you?

On the subject of my 'love life' _____________________________________.

Christine phoned this afternoon. She's exhausted and flat broke and suggested we postpone our meeting until a week on Thursday. I am very disappointed but agreed to this change of plan. Instead I shall go to the Shoulder (of Mutton) with Peter and the boys. Frank (Hall) was released from hospital with nothing but bruises so no doubt he'll be out to tell the tale.

Back to Christine: she sounded positively devilish on the telephone, so much so that my laughter and loud inuendo apparently brought the office to a standstill and Kathleen had to prod my in the spine and ask me to belt up after about 15 minutes.

Saw "Roots" tonight. Later heard the Prime Minister speaking at his party conference in sunny Blackpool. He really is becoming quite an orator in his old age. But this 5 per cent pay increase limit just leaves me cold. I need an increase of about 105 per cent to bring me into the basic living wage brigade.

Callaghan should have been having a general election this week instead of mucking around at the seaside. This long drawn out farewell can't be doing any of us any good.

To bed at 11:56pm with Adolf Hitler.


Monday October 2, 1978

New Moon 07:41

Jewish New Year 5739 {Rosh Hashanah}

Mum says we must visit John and Maria before Christmas. She says Port Patrick is a lovely place. They say JPH swears like a trooper and attacks any innocent people passing through Lochans whenever he gets the chance. Words like 'bastard', 'shit' and 'bugger' feature strongly in his vocabulary. My Uncle Albert would have been proud indeed.

Jacq phoned this afternoon. _____________.

Peter N phoned this evening. His friend Frank Hall was injured in a car accident on the Chevin Road in Guiseley this evening. He's unconscious in hospital. He was here on Friday eating curry and trying to avoid Sue's apple crumble. Frightening really.

Princess Margaret is now in Australia recovering after an attack of fever which prevented her carrying out official duties in Tuvalu, a pin~prick of an island that was once the Ellice Islands. She was taken seriously ill aboard a New Zealand ship.


Sunday October 1, 1978

19th after Trinity

Woke up at nearly 1pm. Sue and Pete prepared lunch. I found Jacq sitting in the dining room reading the Sunday Express. We ate lunch in an uncomfortable atmosphere. Jacq didn't speak unless she was pressed into doing so.__________. This nonsense continued throughout John Hanson singing 'Kismet' - very unnecessary warbling - and the broadcasting of the top 20 on Radio 1. ______________________________.

Watched 'Lillie Langtry'. At 9:30 I walked Jacq to her bus. Mum and Dad got back from Stranraer. They've had a tremendous time.


Saturday September 30, 1978

Sun rises 6:59 Sun sets 18:42

Met Jacq in Guiseley at 12 o'clock and we went down Old Hollins Hill to the Commercial for a wet luncheon. Didn't like the atmosphere at all and half an hour later we walked from Esholt to the Shoulder of Mutton. Very pleasant and Jacq was soon, once again, quite pissed. Peter, Gus and Chippy rolled in at about 3pm and they took us back up to Pine Tops.

Sue and Jacq had a knitting session and Pete and I grovelled around beneath his car making adjustments to his handbrake. It was my first ever assault on a car. I didn't learn a single thing from the experience.

Later we adjourned to the dining room and drank a bottle of wine and several gallons of home~brewed stout. Jacq gave up on her knitting and phoned her mother. She was finding it hard to focus on the knitting needles.

The central heating caved in and we froze this evening huddled around the TV. Sue, Pete, Jacq and I went to the Shoulder of Mutton (again) where we sat with Gus, Chippy and Frank Hall. The conversation is always of a crude and childish nature and Jacq wasn't amused at all. ____________. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and even consumed a few glasses of rum. They all came back to Pine Tops with nosh from the Chinese take~away and stayed until a very late hour. _________________.


Friday September 29, 1978

Out of bed at 6:58am and plunged into a hot bath. Whilst tucking into my hot porridge oats I plugged into the radio news at 7:30 and was astounded to hear that Pope John Paul had died in the night from a heart attack after a reign of only 33 days. It's the shortest pontificate since Pope Stephen in 700 AD, or so. I find this hard to take in. Quite ridiculous that all the cardinals are going to have to crawl back to Rome for another conclave.

I spent most of the day playing with the late Pope's pictures. Chris Bye came into the office cheerfully waving a fiver & laughingly told us that on Aug 26 he'd been into Ladbroke's and placed a bet that the new pope would only live for 33 days. Yeah, right. It would finish it off very nicely now if our own Cardinal Hume was elected pontiff. A good English lad at the Vatican to show these Italians a thing or two.

Mum and Dad went off to Scotland this afternoon to see John and Maria in Stranraer. They took JPH's birthday presents with them and are staying for the festivities and returning on Sunday evening.

Tonight I battled through driving rain to see Jacq in Leeds. We met at 8:30 and went to the Central, where she became quite legless on cider. I intended going on a pub crawl but we enjoyed the loud, pulsating music of the disco in the pub, and we stayed until 10:30. She frowned when I suggested moving on to Len's Bar. She knows Sarah hangs out there on Fridays.

I got the last bus out of town at about 11. Sue and Pete were watching TV. He stayed the night. Young love.


Thursday September 28, 1978

Wet and miserable. Christine phoned again today. It looks as though we'll have an illicit rendezvous again next week ~ possibly on Thursday. We are little beggars at times, aren't we?

Have little cash and so I decided to forgo my weekly piss~up with Pete, Gus and Chippy at Oakwood Hall. Instead I sat in with Mum and Dad and we lived it up slightly by orderng a Chinese take~away from the place at the White Cross. Jim and Margaret came up at 9 and we sat watching a Deborah Kerr film. At the earliest opportunity I escaped to my bed with Hitler.


Wednesday September 27, 1978

David the brother~in~law collected Jacq and I in Leeds at 5:30 and took us to Burley~in~Wharfedale. Lynn poured sherry down us and we sat by the fireside. Susan and Pete arrived at 7:30. Dave went out for fish & chips and we had a collection and bought another 'pop bottle' full of sherry from the proprietor of the off~licence store at the end of Lawn Road (is she Mrs Beasley?). Lynn, clutching an empty pop bottle, is making far too many calls on this lady.

We sat until 10:30. I took Jacq to a bus stop and deposited her on a 733 to Leeds and then went back to say goodbye to Lynn. They are unbelievably short of money. It's refreshing to find someone else in financial ruin and destitution. They look so happy though.


Tuesday September 26, 1978

Very wet day. Christine phoned me twice today ~ on both occasions she was bored to tears. Her latest escort gave her the push over the weekend. Nothing much else was gleaned. She was in good form, which is more than can be said of her behaviour last Monday when we were out with David L and Jacq.

A bit of royal news now I think: The Daily Mail gossip columnist Mr Dempster said today that the gorgeous Princess Michael of Kent is wearing maternity clothes and looking radiant with it. She and Prince Michael were married as recently as June 30 and I can't see anything occurring quite so soon. It's not even three months.

The Prince of Wales and Countess Angelika Lazansky have been together at Balmoral recently. The Daily Mail says the Czech exile is a girlfriend of the Earl of Cawdor. I cannot see the prince marrying a 30 year~old Roman Catholic lady. The Prince of Wales really should take more notice of young English beauties. Elizabeth Diana Manners, for instance. She's a niece of the Duke of Rutland. For the time being at least I think we will have a bachelor Prince of Wales.

Saw the second part of "Roots" on the BBC and retired to bed with Adolf at 11 o'clock.


Monday September 25, 1978

John's 22nd birthday. In Stranraer ~ no doubt knee deep in heather, haggis and Moira Anderson. I couldn't think of a more ghastly fate. He received his birthday parcel because Dad ran into Molly and she told him they'd been to Ayr Races and had called to see John and Maria at Lochans at the weekend and his presents were displayed in the caravan. __________.

I met Jacq on Wellington Street at lunchtime and she handed over Sue's shoes and trousers, borrowed on various occasions after 'orgious' activities, &c.

We are going to Lawn Road for tea on Wednesday. Mum and Dad spent the evening with Lynn & Dave tonight, while Sue, Pete and I sat bunched in front of the TV here. I buried myself in Toland's 'Adolf Hitler'. I'm reading about his escapades in the 1920s at the moment.

I poked around in the kitchen undecided about just what to devour and finally gulped down a jar of glacé cherries. To bed at 11.

Note: I knew that Mary Malcolm, the ancient broadcaster, was a granddaughter of Lillie Langtry, but had no idea that Mary's grandfather was H.S.H. Prince Louis of Battenberg, 1st Marquess of Milford Haven.


Sunday September 24, 1978

We had breakfast at Pine Tops on our arrival home and then collapsed until about 11. Lynn and Dave arrived for Sunday dinner and we spent the whole day relaxing with Mother.

Jacq looked ridiculous in her Pontypool rugby shirt, and we laughed a good deal about poor cider~stained, bedraggled Eric the Tit, all forlorn and damp upstairs.

Saw "Lillie Langtry" on TV ~ another historical drama ~ starring Francesca Annis as the Victorian beauty. Jacq left at 9:30 and an hour later I was in bed with Adolf Hitler.


Saturday September 23, 1978

Sun rises 06:48 sun sets 18:58

Not too happy today. Could have had a good fight with anyone who cared to try it on. Lying in my bed this morning I decided to go to this so~called fancy dress party as a Harewood House Bird Garden attendant, with one of Delia's stuffed birds stitched to my left shoulder. Ingenious, eh? I spent a couple of hours busily sewing Eric (the little Tit) onto an old white t-shirt.

Susie and Peter took me to Leeds at 8:30 and we joined Jacq and Hayden at Len's Bar, where a few other fancy~dress goers were gathered. I could see a couple of French maids, the odd clown and a very poor imitation of Queen Victoria.

Eric the Blue Tit created a sensation. I was a bit cool with Jacq (who was dressed in a Pontypool rugby shirt and footless tights masquerading as a punk rocker) and found her constant chatter with Milky Bar Kid Haydn (yes, it's spelt the same way as the famed composer) somewhat irritating.

Sue and Pete left for a disco at 10 and Jacq, the Milky Bar Kid and a female Mexican Bandit and I left to get a taxi to the Railway Station. What seems like hours of hilarity followed. We didn't get to the party until after midnight. We laid on an hours free entertainment for tired British Rail passengers, performing a circus act upon a luggage trolley and giving an adequate rendering of "Singin' in the Rain".

Stanmoor Drive was our destination and a bemused taxi driver found it quite easily. We were met by the hostess (the French Maid) but to our horror the booze was already running dry and our couple of bottles of cider looked pathetic.

Jacq did a good deal of scrounging and we knocked back sherry, red wine, and home brewed champagne. Naturally, at about 4am I brought it all back up on some unfortunate cabbage patch on Stanmoor Drive, Burley, Leeds. To my surprise Carol J and Marilyn were in the throng, but they left early to go to another orgy in Horsforth. Marilyn drank my cheap cider and insisted on prodding Eric (the tit) before leaving. I must say I was the most original character in fancy dress. However, I switched from being a Harewood Bird Garden operative to being the Bird Man of Alcatraz.

Jacq and I were among the last to leave and we walked to Guiseley arriving at 7:30am. Jacq was fed up and exhausted on the journey and at one point was reduced to tears.


Friday September 22, 1978

Took a half day at 12:30 because I was dying for a drink and feeling more than slightly hungover. I met Sarah, Marilyn (Wheeler) and a girl whom I will refer to as Miss X, at Parker's Wine Bar at 1pm. Didn't enjoy it. Miss X sleeps with a different guy every night and I heard her telling Sarah she'd been to the clinic this morning adding "it's all cleared up now". Sarah wanted to be sick. I fixed my gaze onto Miss X's legs hoping to catch a glimpse of the cascading slime.

Later Sarah confided in me that she loathes and despises the current surge in immorality. I do agree. Far too much is made of sex, don't you think? Sarah's new beau, Andy, came into see her and poured white wine into her until 2:45, no doubt hoping to have his wicked way with her. She was only supposed to have an hour for lunch. Carol J and Eileen were far from amused back at the office.

At about 3pm I left the love~birds and caught an omnibus to Guiseley. It was back to Leeds again at 7 o'clock to meet Jacq at the ABC cinema. We went to see 'Heaven Can Wait' starring Warren Beatty, Julie Christie and Dyan Cannon. A good, amusing and delightful film and far more entertaining than I would have ever imagined. Undoubtedly a classic. Home alone at 11:30.


Thursday September 21, 1978

St Matthew

Pay day but all the money is gone before the packet has been open for ten minutes. I met Jacq at 1pm and we went shopping for a present for John, who is 22 on Monday. I bought him a pair of tartan socks from Schofield's, and a ridiculous, nauseating birthday card. Mum's wrapping all the gifts in one big parcel and despatching it to Stranraer in the morning.

Tonight I went to the Shoulder of Mutton, picked up on the way by Pete N with Dave W, Chippy and Gus. Dave says I look like Phil Lynott of 'Thin Lizzy' fame. Gus pokes fun at my woolly tie. Chippy makes his usual disgusting remarks. A sensational evening in the pub. At one point we had 25 pints of beer on the table because we purchased four rounds in one go because of the crowding and shortage of glasses.

Oakwood Hall wasn't enjoyable. I felt over nostalgic about the place. It was even worse when I wandered into the garden, because it reminded me of my life with Carole, and that seems such a long time ago. I put all this wallowing down to the fact I was too pissed up. Unhealthy really. Dave W picked up a nurse from Halifax, and Pete was chatting up a 15 year~old blond piece. I don't like to see him flirting with another woman when he's supposed to be attached to my sister.


Wednesday September 20, 1978

One day when a National Front dictatorship rules over these islands led by a short, enfeebled geezer with a Charlie Chaplin moustache, I only hope I am a tax exile in Zurich, or somewhere. I simply don't like the idea. I do suppose it's up to people like me to put a stop to this growth of fascism before it gets out of hand because looking at the Germany of the 1920s the masses didn't see the danger in Mr Hitler. Pete Lazenby is now a leading activist in the Anti-Nazi League, and he is busy recruiting all the time, but I fear that his legions are made up of blood~red communists, who'd like nothing better than to see the likes of the Hon Mrs Angus Ogilvy, and her more important relatives, hanging by their necks from the turrets of Tower Bridge. It's always from one extreme to the other, don't you think?

Retired to bed with Adolf Hitler and these gloomy thoughts at 10:30.