Monday August 26, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Bank Holiday in UK (except Scotland)

The usual Bank Holiday blues. A complete flop. Ally went over to Lynn's to Thomas's birthday party which commenced at 2:30. Others there included Sue's boys and Pam kids, and the Riddells from next door, &c. I lay on the bed for an hour, consulting this tome and watching 'The Making of Superman III'. Ridiculous. They even make films about making films now. I opened at 7pm. Quiet, except for the fact that Jacq , Ian and Trixie rolled in at 9:30 and stayed until after 2am. Trixie is such a 'good time dancing girl' as they say. She recently lost her driving licence and was fined £400. A bit steep, don't you think? Jacq and Ian are to marry at Seacroft Church with some panoply on March 22 next, and afterwards at the Mercury, Garforth. Jacq will become Mrs Cawood. We stood at the bar after time. Trixie says she can smell fertiliser, but we put it down to the fresh cellar paint. _________.

-=-

Sunday August 25, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

12th Sunday after Trinity

Lashings of rain. Busy lunch. Donna Lea appeared casually attired. Her husband she says is 'shooting in the hills' and so she is left snooping around her pubs in Leeds. We are the busiest in town today, she says. Upstairs we ate a big mince and onion pie and watched TV. Laugh at Leslie Phillips fully clothed in a shower holding a hot pressure cooker. Hilarity. The film was 'The Seven Deadly Sins' or something. We have planned a holiday and I haven't told you about it. It came into fruition yesterday. From Sept 19 to 21 we are going to Coleford and the hospitality of Graham and Gill, and then from Sat Sept 21st we go to Cotleigh, Devon, for a week of peace and tranquillity. It's near Honiton and Beer. Then on Sat Sept 28 we go to Frank & Bessie's for a few days. It is F & B's 33rd wedding anniversary on Sept 27. Can't wait. Pub life is good, but Oh, the holidays.

-=-

Saturday August 24, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

They say the Earl of Avon died from Aids. The killer disease prevalent in homosexuals. The peer shared a London  flat with an antique dealer.

Dad went to Guiseley at 11:30. He has been such a great help this week. It is always so touching to see him disappear down Dewsbury Rd in his little car, quite alone. _______.

To Sainsbury's at Moortown. Gary and I tonight in the bar. Ally has had a mad cleaning spree. Jill and Tim appeared. Jill is enormous now, but not wanting the baby to come before next week's wedding. A surprise to see them. Both Karen and Di go on holiday on 2/9/85 and it seems the whole family will miss the Elmer accouchement. Very quiet night. Upstairs for 1am. ________.

-=-

Friday August 23, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Dad was padding around at 3am switching off the lights. The place was flood-lit like the Eiffel Tower. Ally banged around but I refused to get up until almost 11am. Violence in the tap room. Brian Millar and his hyper-active, nymphomaniac ex-fiancée, Helen, had a "domestic" which erupted into a brawl. All were ejected. I wasn't feeling particularly athletic.  Dad painted our kitchen.

The Daily Telegraph diary mentions that Lord Avon died last week. It's the first I've heard. Wasn't he a government minister? Of course he was the son of Anthony Eden and was only 54. A gay bachelor.

-=-

Thursday August 22, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

The Woolpack, Yeadon.

Dad and I spent the day in the cellar splashing paint around. Ally came down plying us with ale and by 2pm we were tipsy and nostalgic. Uncle Peter dropped in at lunchtime and came down to inspect our daubing. Later Dad offered to babysit and give us a night out. Ally, not feeling up to it, said no, and so I sat sulking watching 'Top of the Pops'. She then appeared looking very dressed up and had obviously relented. We went to the Woolpack at Rawdon. Shocking beer. Then to the former Peacock at Yeadon. It's now called 'Images'. Then, to the Drop in Guiseley. Met Chippy (now to be addressed as Gerald), looking like Tom Selleck, the thespian. He was with a boy called Ian. We went on at 11 to the former Wikis, now Beau Brummels. Became very pissed on strong bottled lager. We squabbled in the car coming home. Ally had not enjoyed it, and had not wanted to come out in the first place. I went to bed. God knows where Ally slept.

-=-

Wednesday August 21, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Dick the Shit (i.e. Richard the Turd)

Dray. The anniversary of the coming to power of the Tudor dynasty and the fall of poor 'Dick the Shit' at Bosworth field - the 500th anniversary no less. I have great reservations about the whole affair. Surely, Richard III was more trustworthy than the cunning old Welsh chappie who usurped him? 

We worked pm alone. Dad remained upstairs with the Daily Telegraph.

-=-

Tuesday August 20, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Dad paints. He came down to the bar this evening and found himself in the company of old Donald MacGregor, the cynical and twisted Scot. Dad will allow most things to wash over him but cynicism, never. I can be cynical, because I am young, says Dad. But Donald MacGregor is old enough to know better. Many topics were discussed from mourning, to charitable bodies, and the starving millions in the world. Dad put on his political MP-like face and would not be coaxed away from old Donald, who sweated profusely and who swore more and more violently as the night wore on. Others in the bar chuckled. For three nights this week we are working without staff. Aren't we a diligent little pair?

-=-

Monday August 19, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Dad still painting. I phoned Donna (Lea). She promised to come with more white paint later in the week. The three tins I have here will go nowhere. Rob (the stocktaker) phoned to say our stocktake planned for tomorrow is now cancelled because of a 'rush job'. That's another manager for the chop, by the sound of things. The transportation dept from the brewery also phoned to say the dray will be here on Wednesday, instead of tomorrow. What a carry on. Has Tuesday been cancelled? Samuel has received an invitation to the birthday party next Monday of his cousin, Thomas. Dad is puzzled by this because he asked Lynn what festivities were planned for Thomas's birthday to be told 'none'. Lynn blamed the bank holiday. Poor Thomas. He goes almost unnoticed because he is so very quiet. Just like a small doll. _____.

-=-

Sunday August 18, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

11th Sunday after Trinity

Dad came in at lunchtime laden with decorating tackle and set about the cellar. He disappeared below just before 2pm clad in white overalls and wellington boots. At 3 I started painting the hallway and staircase leading up to the flat. The bloody place looks like a convent - white emulsion everywhere. I got to the foot of the stairs and my paint ran dry at 8pm. Ally opened up, and Gary came in at 8. We dined on a chicken and a bottle of Litre vin. Dad came down to the bar for a drink tonight - a well deserved one.

-=-

Saturday August, 17, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

I feel weak, but battle on. Ally went off to Linfood. I opened up at 11 but escaped when Margaret came in. Tonight - no staff - Janette phoned at 9 to say they are coming to see us with the baby and two of her sisters, Marie and Jackie. They arrived at 10pm but we didn't speak to them until 11:30 when we'd cleared the place of the over enthusiastic bog-hoppers of the McCarron family. Jackie and Marie are two opinionated young Scottish ladies, who are attempting to talk Janette out of breast-feeding, and they sat extolling the virtues of 'spoiling' children and of refraining from any form of corporal punishment. Let's hope that Janette will see sense and breast feed little Charlotte. John lets everything wash over him. Jackie, 22, has a 12 year-old step-daughter, two others 'steps' and is expecting one of her own in March '86. They are both so like Janette. Phoned Dad at 8pm. I chose a bad time to call. He was sobbing down the line, and my first three ten pence pieces dropped into the call box without a word spoken. My God.

-=-

Friday August 16, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Dad is coming on Sunday to begin painting the cellar. Unfortunate, because I feel shocking. I am wrapped in a pullover shivering like buggery. Undoubtedly, an attack of 'flu. At the bar tonight I sat drinking brandy and port which warmed me a good deal, but did little else. I really should have been in bed but you know how  Ally disapproves of illness. She had to suffer on Wednesday, and so I have to suffer today. I phoned Jacq Sate and also spoke to Ian. I asked them if they could babysit on the night of Diane and Paul's wedding which they readily agreed to do. I joked and said I would leave them some milk and digestive biscuits. Poor Sammy. I do not think he will wake up. You see, he's never met Jacq and it would be disconcerting for him to wake up and be confronted by a strange lady watching Daddy's TV. 

-=-

Thursday August 15, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

HRH The Princess Anne is 35, and Gary Booth is 22. HRH is cruising on Britannia in the Western Isles as she usually does on her birthday, and Mark (Phillips) is at Gatcombe Park astride his tractor. What a separate little couple they are.

MM and Marita appeared last night at 8. Ally wasn't feeling 100 per cent and struggled to come down to the bar. Joined by Dad from Menston. He looked tired and old. This year has aged him a decade. The MMs are fresh back from Yugoslavia where they shared a pension with a couple of 20 year-olds and noticed, painfully, the age gap. The years creep by.

Tonight (Thurs) Gary came in early doors for a few pints of pils lager, and was joined by a friend, a youth of similar age, to discuss their latest 'leg over' and the Leeds Utd fixtures for 1985-86. _________.

-=-

Wednesday August 14, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

To Harehills at 9:30. I took my test at 9:45 in our new, gleaming vehicle. A Mr Harland took me. I did well with the exception of reversing around a corner which I cocked up, and needless to say - failed on this point. Everything else was OK. I came away unperturbed. One day I will succeed. Ally and Sam went shopping in Harehills and I met them after the test. The heavens opened. We went to Menston for lunch with Dad and Janette. I bought fish and chips for everyone. A depressing afternoon really. Dad was quick tempered with Sam. _________. Janette looked pained and thought Dad was being harsh. I must admit to a softness that will do my son no good. I cannot find it in me to be strict, and give in to him a good deal. I know this is wrong, and in twenty years time when I write here about my selfish, spoiled and evil son you can all then exclaim: "who is to blame?" -- and I will hold my hand up. To Sue's at 3 for another episode in the Hungarian Uprising revisited. One day I feel sure that Sue will be beatified. If the Pope can do this for a dead Nicaraguan nun then I'm sure that a hard-working Guiseley mother might qualify.

-=-

Tuesday August 13, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

No staff again. Ally and I cleaned the bar thoroughly. Washed the optics, &c. Some of the old regulars sat tittering at our industry. I half-heartedly looked at the Highway Code. I have no nerves, which is probably my problem.

Lines on My Forthcoming Driving Test

Tomorrow I'm taking my driving test,

I've taken it before, in 1974,

That was eleven years ago,

Keith's Mum says the roads have changed since then,

Haven't we all?

E. Jarvis Thribb (17).

-=-

Monday August 12, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Karen Hudson was late for my driving and whilst waiting we took Samuel on to Hunslet Moor. The robbing window cleaner says I owe him a fiver from two weeks ago when he did the windows in a hurricane. He will get this money over my dead body. Karen came at 10:15 and I had a passable lesson. It all seems to have come together. She is a nice girl. Very blunt and down to earth. She is confident I can pass the test, but it all comes down to what happens on the day, the instructor and the Gods. 

No bar staff pm. We enjoyed ourselves tremendously.

World News: The PM has bought a Barratt house in Dulwich for £400,000. Does she think that her tenure of No. 10 Downing Street is shortly to be terminated? Oh dear.

-=-

Sunday August 11, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

10th Sunday after Trinity

Much rain. Ally feels awful. _________. Still, we got up at 8 and after breakfast I drove to Harehills to show Ally the test centre at Hillcrest House. She wasn't in the mood to sit watching me manoeuvre the car and so we returned to the Moorhouse with raw tempers. Ally can be a wicked little thing at times.

Little Charlotte Nora is a week old today, and as yet has no surname. For her to become a Rhodes she will have to be registered by John. Without John's signature the baby will be officially Miss Drysdale. However, a Rhodes by any other name would smell as sweet, sayeth the Bard.

-=-

Saturday August 10, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

To Menston today bearing Dad's spectacles which he left here last week. He's been a mess without them and borrowing Brian's (his neighbour at Horton). He spends many hours with the Daily Telegraph but says he doesn't have the concentration to read a book. I think he is frightened of becoming too like his father, who sat for hours with a weighty tome upon his knee, ignoring all around him. I can see the old boy now reading a biography of James Joyce. For many years I took this to be Lord Haw Haw ... but that was another James Joyce. At Menston Dad and John were painting the kitchen. Dad very subdued. I sat watching them ... yawning. Oh dear, what a life.

-=-

Friday August 9, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

My brother-in-law Graham John Dixon appeared here on Wednesday and has spent two nights with us whilst selling suspended ceilings in Sheffield and Nottingham. What a reformed character he is. He renounced smoking when last on the Isle of Wight and has held to it since and, would you believe, he goes out jogging every morning in shorts and training shoes, &c. Just like Steve Cram. It is awful how people can get the athletic bug. Graham has always had a tendency to breathlessness and is positively Edward VII in appearance. We get along extremely well. _______. He and Gill are looking for a house, only half-heartedly, in Basingstoke or Newbury, &c. Frank and Bessie cannot come here on Aug 31 (Di & Paul's wedding day) because they are having Frank & Barbara Makin from Windermere. Sod it. Who will babysit?

-=-

Thursday August 8, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Charlotte.

Sunshine. To Otley to see Janette and Charlotte Nora. A Dr Goebbels-like nurse refused to allow Sam to view his cousin and so Ally went in for a few minutes and I followed. I played outside collecting stones with my son and heir. Charlotte is a very large, pink baby. Poor Janette has a leg in bandages and says it's a thrombosis. I associate the word thrombosis with heart attacks. This is hysteria on my part, so I'm told. To Guiseley afterwards. Scenes reminiscent of the Hungarian uprising of 1956 at 21, Thorpe Lane. Sue is on the verge of madness. She says she had a showdown with Jim yesterday__________.

-=-

Wednesday August 7, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

This day is a complete blank. I have been getting lapse of late. I  will try to convey a description of the diarist as he is at the moment. I am now in my 31st year. I am not too fat, though my tummy tends to sag. Still, my trousers measure only 34 inches around the waist. I weigh 13 stones and a few ounces. I have a lack of musculature. Scrawny arms, &c. I stand just under 6 feet. My hair is thick and dark - no grey. It's too long at the moment but it's getting cut soon. I have a very thin moustache with envelopes my tiny pursed mouth. I do not have to shave every day. I am a light shaver. It would take me forever to grow a beard. I have a tendency to grow a double chin. This is because my face is full. Some would say round. I dress like a typical thirty year-old when working in the bar. Boring, dull trousers, shirts, ties &c, but dress more flamboyantly in private life. Certainly I look younger than my years. Politically I am more right wing than General Zia. I love music. Anything from Debussy to Duran Duran. I love my wife and I love my son. I miss my mother more than I can say. I am happy with my life though it is too busy at times._____.

Tuesday August 6, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Reasonable morning, but blowy. John Newband came from the brewery to apologise for the lack of exterior decorators. The place looks a shambles. We went at 1:30 to Tadcaster and the 'Pig Roast' - a so-called 'Family Day' which proved to be a complete wash-out. A multitude of managers at Tadcaster Bowling Club. Jumping, bouncy castles, ice creams galore, bowling, beer, &c. Just as the barbecue began a cloud burst let rip over Tad and everybody scampered for the pavilion, a hot, sweaty place no bigger than a telephone kiosk. The outside tables were a sorry sight. Bowls of water-logged salad and coleslaw and two wet pigs on a spit. We were like drowned rats. Samuel insisted on bolting for the door at every opportunity, and our lunch was a hurried, snatched affair. We spoke to only a few. Most people gave us the cold shoulder. Roy & Marie were as normal as ever. The ghastly Ferris trio. The Pipers were cool. We escaped at 4. Sunshine in Leeds. Audrey worked 5:30-7:30. Janet came in. She goes to Belfast for a holiday on Thursday. Her work is somewhat slack. ________.

-=-

 

Monday August 5, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

After a gap of eleven weeks we have a Nora in the family again. Dad says he is frightened of becoming an old drunkard. It would be an easy thing to do, I do suppose. Marjorie worked 12-3:30 and at 3 Dad took Sam and I to the Clarendon Wing to look at Charlotte Nora for the first time. She is very pink with a broad face and Janette's features, but also strongly resembling baby's half-sister, Hannah. We left poor Ally at home. At the hospital Samuel was restless and he shuffled about. Grandad gave him black looks. He expects perfection. However, Sam was good with the baby and he kissed her on the top of her dark head. I had a nurse and Janette related the intricate details of her confinement. I began to nod off in the chair. How embarrassing. Hospitals are such lethargic places. Like greenhouses. It's no wonder that most of the inmates look half dead. Mother and baby go to Otley Hospital tomorrow. I fail to see why Janette was prevented from giving birth at Otley. It's a perfectly agreeable place to come into the world. Lots of pubs, and a nice river, &c. Dad went to Guiseley from Leeds, and Ally came to collect Sam and I at 4. Dog tired. We do provide good hospitality at family parties.

-=-

Sunday August 4, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

9th Sunday after Trinity

Janette & Charlotte Nora.

Samuel came in to see us at 6:30 and at 7 the phone trilled. It was John. Janette was in labour and he was driving her to Leeds. Excitement. We had one of those tense, expectant mornings. I phoned Dad (at Hilda's) and Lynn and Sue. John kept me posted and phoned at every opportunity. J was 8cm dilated on arrival. Dad came here at 1 and we had a drink. Ally went up at 2 when Sam re-surfaced from his nap. Dad was very emotional. John phoned at 1:30 to say the baby was on it's way and that Janette was having a [illegible] because her pains are so bad. We went upstairs with a Mandarine Napoléon to wait. John phoned at 3. Janette had a baby girl. Charlotte Nora, at 2:24pm weighing 9lb 10 and a half ounces. Ally took the call. Dad and I dissolved in tears. A little Nora was just too much to take. Lynn and Co, and Sue and Co came. Ally concocted a party as Mum would have done. Mandarine Napoléons galore. It is the Queen Mother's birthday. They all went to the hospital at 7 (except Lynn) to see the baby. Torrents of rain. I bathed Samuel and put him to bed and watched a documentary on the Queen Mother. Not good. Gary worked from 7pm and when they all returned we went down to the bar. John was present at the delivery after saying so long that he would boycott the whole business. John returned to Menston. He is starting a job with Quarmby's tomorrow. Dad stayed here.

-=-

Saturday August 3, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

John & Janette: Aug 3 1985.

Janette 21. Glynnie 31. Out early. To Rawdon where I spent £51 on clothes. Just pants, shirts and shoes. On to Yeadon to buy Janette a vase and flowers and then on to Menston. Janette was pale, fed up, and alone. John was working. Had a coffee and returned to Leeds. 

We nipped out to Pudsey at 4. To Hilda's. She had Hayley. Saw Jill. On to Mabel's. Saw Marlene, F, M, and D, back from Norfolk. Cousin Jackie and Barry have moved to Cleckheaton.

Tonight, just as Ally was saying that Janette should be 'starting' with the baby who should walk in but the expectant pair themselves. Janette was uncomfortable and on edge. We gave her a Crème de Menthe and a Blue Curacao. Upstairs they stayed until after 1am watching 'That's Hollywood' and eating mint chocolates that were given to Ally by an alcoholic George Raft-like character in the tap room. Janette was shuffling around in the chair. They went off home after we implored them to stay the night. To bed with Henry VIII

Friday August 2, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Sun. To Rawdon and the dentist (S. McGurk!) who went on again about my chipped front tooth. He says it will cost £120 to have it crowned, but it would mean me wearing a brace for a few months. Ally was furious. She likes me cracked tooth. After all, she married me that way. Besides, no way can I afford £120 to further beautify my already Adonis features. That is the end of it. Called in at a shop called Paris in Rawdon where Ally bought some turquoise pants and baggy t-shirt. Very trendy. I am going back there tomorrow to buy a shirt and trousers for Sam Smith's 'Family Day' next Tues. Numb face. Had a Glenmorangie to help kill the pain. Gary called in for his wages. Ally wore her 'Paris' creation which attracted some admiring comments. Busy. Margaret Milne worked. She was grumpy about my stopping the cash tips.

-=-

Thursday August 1, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

So-called Yorkshire Day. Harold Wilkinson brought Ally a white rose with which to festoon herself. They all joked about Ally being a Lanc.Of course this isn't so. Where the Hell is Wallasey, the place of her birth? Ally stayed upstairs tonight in a collapsed heap. I have knocked off the tradition of staff taking cash home. It is quite immoral. Customers who buy the girls drinks surely do not expect them to take cash home instead? It is an abuse of the system. Some staff take a fiver home at the end of the evening. If I am to have a written warning from Donna Lea I'll be damned if the staff don't suffer too.

-=-

Wednesday July 31, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn/ Full Moon

Waltergarth.

The last day of this foul, wet July. Surely the nastiest summer in this millennium? Sunny start, but wet later. We went at 9 o'clock to Horton. I drove. I collected my photos from DH first. I stuck a snotty note to his vehicle. Poor Waltergarth. It is hard to describe the complete and utter feeling of loss. I can say nothing to Dad. Sue made a large stew to ward off the cold and we washed it down with cans of strong pale ale. The Nason boys are such a handful. I took my usual afternoon nap and then we walked to find the Troll under the rickety rackety bridge. Jim and Margaret N came. Jim spent the afternoon fixing Dad's lawn mower. I set to and set about the jungle with an appliance belonging to a neighbour. Hard work. I haven't cut grass since Pine Tops. This evening we went to the boring Crown and I drank everything except the awful bitter. Three tattooed skinheads sat farting. Dad baby sat for an hour and then Jim and M took over and allowed him to join us. Sue sat nursing the flea-infested pub moggy. We left at 11. Sammy wide eyed in the back wrapped in a car rug.

-=-

Tuesday July 30, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Ally took Samuel to Lynn's but they were not in. I stuck some of Dad's photos into an album but couldn't do much. The nostalgia choked me. 

It was our evening off, supposedly. I went to the Junction pub at 8 to buy some £1 coins, and to have a pint. Back home I had a few Diet Pils and hung around waiting for David H to return my photos. That little squirt Norman in the tap room tried my patience just a little too much and I dowsed him in a pint of his own lager. An eerie silence fell over the room. People dripping in tense suspension. Naughty of me, I know. I just flipped. Ally infuriated at my behaviour. 'Conduct unbecoming a public house manager' &c. Dave H didn't appear and so I went upstairs. Henry VIII in bed.

-=-

Monday July 29, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Me: July 28.

We collected our fancy dress snaps from the photo processing place. They proved a lively talking point tonight. David Howard asked to borrow them and took them away at 11. Why? he isn't on any of the photos. I smell a rat. He'll be blowing them up and posting them to the Sunday People.

Four years ago today the P. of Wales married Lady Di amidst a burst of national hysteria & pride at St Paul's. What a transformation she (the princess) has undergone. Poor Mum gave a lovely party at Pine Tops. Looking back on those days now is painful. ___________.

-=-

Sunday July 28, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

8th Sunday after Trinity

Gary and I came upstairs for breakfast of bacon and eggs and a Rolling Stones session at 6am only to find Samuel awake and Ally wilting. I gave Sam his breakfast and soon Gary was passed out on the settee. I played with Sam for a few hours and then fell asleep in a chair leaving him rummaging through our vast record collection. Lynn and Dave emerged from their bedroom at 8:30 only to say goodbye and seemed scandalised at my inactivity, and Sam's apparent freedom to roam. Gary staggered out at 12 as Margaret and Marjorie came in. Ally stayed in bed for the remainder of the day with the exception for an hour or so when she emerged for fish and chips. Gary and I worked tonight. We were both washed out and awful. The pub buzzed with chatter about last night. So worthwhile. Audrey, Edna & Co collected £27.80 in the club and the Junction, &c. To bed with Henry VIII by Jasper Ridley. Exhausted.

-=-

Saturday July 27, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

with the Nun & Raquel Welch.

Our fancy dress party. It was atrociously successful. Everyone came and it proved to be an enormous drunken bash. Lynn, Dave, Sue, Pete, John & Janette, Jacqui Sate (and her fiancé, Ian), Karen, Steve, Jill, Tim, &c. &c. It kicked off at 8pm and by 9 all were pissed. Whisky was 31p a tot. Phyllis, a French tart, soon had me on the floor. Maureen came dressed as a naughty nun, her arse hanging out at the back. Jacq and Ian dressed as Edwardian boating types. Geoff, a tramp. Audrey came as a female vagrant, and Edna claimed to be Raquel Welch in the film One Million Years BC. Pam, a schoolgirl hockey player. Tina, a buccaneer with an attached parrot. Lynn a 20s flapper. Sue a bridesmaid. One could go on. The place was buzzing with fun until 12 and then a few invited drunks joined us in the tap room. We danced on the tables. Ally looking delectable in a silver 1950s gown. I was wearing a Ronald Reagan 1940s dinner suit. You must look at the photos to feel the intoxicating atmosphere. Gary stayed the night here. Recall very little of the late session. I do enjoy the company of Jacq.

-=-

Friday July 26, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Tim came from the Station (pub) and we sat complaining about Sam Smiths. He has visited the Red Lion at Girlington and has taken a fancy to the place. His recent bonus was nil. He shares my views about the bearded stocktaker. His stocks are down £200 one week, and up £200 the next. This is lunacy in a pub with such small stocks. 

Sue phoned. It's their fifth wedding anniversary today. They are coming tomorrow to our fancy dress extravaganza, but they aren't staying the night because Lynn & Dave & Co have decided to do so. 

Janette has been reprieved for the weekend and allowed home under the condition that she returns to the Clarendon Wing on Monday at 7am. She says she and John will come here tomorrow. 

Joyous peerage news: Patrick Hope-Johnstone has become Earl and Annandale and Hartfell after petitioning the House of Lords. There's hope for me yet. Earl of Pudsey & Stanningley.

-=-

Thursday July 25, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

We had a stocktake from the incompetent, bearded chappie. £16 surplus, but the missing Diet Pils doesn't show up. Donna (Lea) came too and they stood whispering. They had lunch here. We are told we are going to have a written warning for the Pils losses. Donna, all smiles, says it's just routine. Doesn't it make you sick? We are convinced that our recent deficit is due to a stocktaking cock-up and that the bearded chap is covering it up. Donna was here until 5:30. We nipped out at 3:30 to Homburg's to choose some gear for Saturday. Dad was here until lunchtime. Uncle Peter called in and went upstairs to see him.

-=-

Wednesday July 24, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Oxton Hall: tatty.

Full-English breakfast. Sue phoned to say that Pamela (nee Nason), gave birth to a son, James, at midnight, a natural birth. Her last confinement was a Caesarean. They come in threes. Janette and Jill will be next. Dad is so withdrawn. He has had all the stuffing knocked out of his sails. (Sails have stuffing? --Ed). At 11:15 Ally and I went to Tadcaster to Humphrey and Julia Smith's wedding party, leaving Sam with Dad. We found Oxton Hall with ease. Spoke to Jim Ellis. The Ferris couple joined us on the lawn at the vast, yet tatty Georgian erection. A very grand garden though. I do not like Mrs Ferris. She's very affected. The couple from the Old Red Lion made a bee-line for us. He was wearing a very large velvet bow tie. Saw Roy and Marie. Big kisses. In to a very large tent for lunch. Smoked salmon, strawberries, &c. We sat between the Ellises and Sue and Thingy from the General Elliot. She is very pleasant in the early stages of a second pregnancy. Ally and must stop this idling and get one with it. Copulation does require time though, and we are always so very busy. Humphrey and Julia were at the top table of course. Julia very tall and dark and dressed in Laura Ashley. Like my ex sister-in-law, Maria. Humphrey's mother, old Mrs Geoffrey Smith,  was in lime green stockings and a green striped dress. It was a very sticky, hot afternoon. Lunch over we retreated to the bar. All freebies. Disgusting gluttony. We sat with Roy and Marie and a couple of peroxide tenants. Pissed up, we went in a small party to the Bay Horse in Tadcaster. Many gin and tonics. Card tricks. White rabbits, &c. I do love Marie Barnes. She says Mags is pregnant and planning a marital alliance. Came home via the Clarendon Wing to see Janette. I was over emotional in the car and blame the gin. George and Jayne Waite came. John too. All back to the Moorhouse where we sat in the lounge. We debated Arthur Scargill, Wales, and the Liberal party. Dad and I enjoy political discussion, but the youth of today tend to treat politics with contempt. Bed late. Oh, my head.

-=-

Tuesday July 23, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Sunny. Quiet afternoon. Who should call in but Martyn Cole. He is a car salesman or computer programmer. He was very nice, and Ally came down to see him. He has three children to Fay - Anna, Jonathan and Judith, all similar in ages to Lynn's. A congenial few hours. He is the Martyn of old. Ally went to Laura Ashley at 3 to buy a dress for tomorrow, and came back with a pair of odd shoes which didn't match. One white and one cream. I took Sam to the park for an hour. Dad came to see us at 4 looking lost. We had a few drinks in the bar this evening but it was suffocating. Mother's presence is so missed. Dad didn't overdo the drinking. Lynn must have been giving him the hard word.

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Monday July 22, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

_____. The Sovereign keg bitter ran dry and so Ally and I took Sam to the Old Red Lion on Meadow Lane (backs to the wall) to borrow an 18 gallon keg from Michael Rainforth (?), the Max Wall-look-alike landlord. A Larry Grayson clone was in the bar breathing all over the glassware. We escaped as soon as was decently possible. I am cruel. The landlord was helpful but I couldn't help squirming.

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