Tuesday August 1, 1978

Horrid weather on this first of the month. No startling news to impart other than to say Dad and I were at Burley again slapping paper on walls. I'm beginning to enjoy it now. When all is finished here it will leave a massive void in my life.

I pray to God that the marriage of my sister will be a long and happy one. We couldn't tolerate a divorce so close to the throne. I am very fond of Dave and regard him as a brother. His disappearance from the scene would be terribly sad for me. I know he can, at times, be something of a pain, but aren't all brothers?

Whilst I was at Burley tonight Dave L phoned to cancel tomorrow's drink because the insurance man is coming to see him about his car. It's just as well really because I am on the verge of destitution. I am seriously considering donating my body for medical research # if they'll take it before I have vacated it. A couple of hundred quid wouldn't go amiss at all.

-=-

Sunday July 30, 1978

10th after Trinity

After breakfast we all sped off to Lawn Road for a days work. Jacq was on her hands and knees scrubbing at the staircase. It poured with rain all day and only relented when we were ready to come home at about 7.

The four of us (Lynn, Dave, Jacq and me) crammed ourselves into the Spitfire and had a hilarious drive home over the moor. Lynn was clinging on for dear life.

Back at Pine Tops John, Maria and JPH were paying a visit. JPH is no longer a baby - he's a real little boy - with sturdy legs and flowing hair. He seems to have discovered a temper though. At one point when Maria wouldn't let him play with Susan's sunglasses he exclaimed: "Shit, then!" A deadly silence followed broken only by me giggling.

-=-

Monday June 12, 1978

The bloody Pope has refused to give Mrs Troubridge a dispensation to marry Prince Michael in church and so the couple will now have to wed abroad in a civil ceremony. This is indeed a nasty blow for Anglo-Roman relations. At a time when two thirds of the world is heathen I find it annoying to say the least that the few remaining Christians should squabble over denominational rules and regulations.

His Holiness objects to Prince Michael's statement that his children will be brought up as Anglicans. Silly old sod.

The Royal wedding is planned for June 30 and will take place in Vienna. God only knows when a member of the Royal Family last wed in a civil ceremony ~ if ever. The Queen will be white haired and crumpled by Christmas.

On the subject of strained relations I feel I ought to mention Mummy and Daddy. They haven't spoken today either, and both are being silly, even though Dad is more silly than Mum. What is the point of blaming Mum for the car accident? I just can't see it. He was willing to hand over his car keys and has no argument whatsoever. Mum is now saying she didn't collide with a dry stone wall at all, and that somebody else ran into her on the makeshift car park. This is just taking it too far.

Dave B is coming tomorrow to carry out repair work and before long the damage will be untraceable ... I hope.

-=-

Sunday June 11, 1978

3rd Sunday after Trinity

Feast of Weeks (Shebuoth)

I didn't get to bed until 8:30 this morning, but by noon Jacq and I had set out on a walk to Baildon Moor, uprooting a few oak saplings on the way for the garden. We were out in the countryside until after 5 and a very pleasant, happy time was had.

At home Mum was very quiet. Dad was refusing to talk to her because of the car incident. How pathetic! If he hadn't have been so pissed the calamity would have been avoided. David B says the damage will cost £20 to put right. Never mind.

-=-

Saturday May 6, 1978

Sun rises 05:24 Sun sets 20:31

Auntie Mabel phoned this morning to say that Uncle Jack's (Myers) days are numbered. Cousin Jackie had phoned her to say the family had been summoned to the hospital to be told nothing can be done to stop the cancer. Auntie Eleanor is going to sell her shop. The poor family must be in torment.

Jacq and I listened to records all day and Dave B took us in the Spitfire to the Hare at 8:30. The place was like Belsen, but without the rotting corpses. So deserted. From here we went to the Fox where Christine joined us at 9. After a short debate we moved to the Crown at Yeadon, which is packed with the cream of local society. The majority of ladies here are like Roman goddesses.

Philip Knowles, exceedingly drunk, invited us all to his girlfriend's party in Guiseley. She is Jane Sinclair, sister of the notorious _____. I was surprised when Christine expressed a wish to go. It didn't take me long to realise just how much she and P still think of one another. I think it would be great if they could be back together.

The party was back at Guiseley (on Victoria Road, above the fish and chip shop). Knocking back the booze and dancing to Rod Stewart LPs. Poor Jacq regurgitated much of tonight's alcoholic intake. She didn't pass out though, like some people. Poor Philip was one of the first to keel over.

I bumped into Lynne Sykes and we had a good long chat reminiscing about Benton (Park). One way or another it was just like old times and I didn't feel like a nerdish 23 year-old with one knee in the grave, which was refreshing. Christine was a sorry figure because she was hitting it off with Philip so well, and when he crashed out in his girlfriend's bed it left her stranded. She danced a good deal.

Home at 4:30 to a damned dawn chorus.

-=-

Sunday April 30, 1978

5th Sunday after Easter

Rogation Sunday

A wet and windy day. Jacq came after luncheon in the monsoon that ravaged and intimidated the locality today. Mum and Dad were visiting Mexborough. Sue and Pete were playing squash at Shipley, and of course Lynn & Dave were at Burley ~ and so just the two of us at home.

We watched a film starring Robert Donat followed by one starring George Cole. I fell into a coma while Jacq watched the BBC drama 'Lorna Doone'.

Lynn and Dave returned for tea and the four of us had salad (minus the mayonnaise) which made me shed tears for the millions of desperate rabbits who, every day, have to devour tons of ghastly lettuce without the benefit of that all-smothering liquid commonly called salad cream. No bloody wonder our furry, buck teethed friends pack up and die after six or seven miserable years.

Tonight we watched the first in a series on the Plantagenet kings which began with King Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine. I enjoyed it, if nobody else did. Later on BBC2 saw a documentary on Jessica Mitford, Lord Redesdale's rebel daughter, which was excellent. Her sisters are Unity (deceased playmate of Hitler), Nancy (the authoress), Deborah (Duchess of Devonshire) and an obscure Pamela.

Bed at 1am - ish. Read a bit of Pepys.

-=-

Sunday April 2, 1978

1st after Easter Low Sunday

Still slightly nasty about the gills. A day of toil and labour at 7, Lawn Road, Burley-in-Wharfedale. Even David G worked well (not that he's an idle waster or anything). Sue and Peter came down later to entertain the troops like Morecambe and Wise.

David B was in one of his 'all knowing' 'I know everything moods....' After tearing off old wallpaper I ventured over to see Christine Dibb and Graham (Airey) who are entertaining Carol Smith and her fiance.

Tonight's evening meal was ridiculously large. I felt bloated and sick afterwards, and more booze only added to the overall feeling of greed.

Dave L phoned and said he was going to the Shoulder (of Mutton) with MM and Marita. I only ever seem to see MM at Christmas and New Year. Sue, Pete, Dave G and I went down to that tavern at 8:30 and Mr Lawson and Co joined us an hour or so later. Poor David (Stockport) was bemused by the company and said little or nothing for the remainder of the night.

We returned home, we meaning Dave, Sue, Pete and me, and collapsed before the TV. Sir John Betjeman was talking about railway stations on the 'Book Programme'.



-=-
.

Sunday March 26, 1978

Easter Day

Dave and Lynn at Lawn Road.

Spent the day with Sue, Pete, Lynn and Dave at Lawn Road tearing ancient wallpaper from ancient walls. Lynn was in her seventh heaven. After all, it's now all her very own filthy old wallpaper. Back home for 3 or 4 to be joined by John, Maria and their wonderful offspring. I saw JPH walk for the first time. His face showed so much pride as he paced over the lounge. Marvellous. I'd like ten just like him. A good lunch. Afterwards I heaped myself in front of the TV. 'Love Story' with Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neal (again). A real weepy. I didn't get a Easter Egg to-day.

-=-

Wednesday March 8, 1978

My future brother-in-law is 22 today. Not a very happy birthday either. I gave him £2.50 so I suppose you can say he's only £97.50 short now. Sad isn't it?

At lunchtime Dave was so sulky he boycotted the celebration drink I'd planned at Parker's. Mum, Dad, John P and Alison met me in Leeds and to that underground cavern of refreshment we immediately dashed. I'm afraid that the money flowed faster than the wine but all the same we ate, drank and toasted the absent David. From Parker's we went to the Emmott's at Rawdon. Good grief, the memories of that place certainly linger. We all drank too much and on getting home, after 3, I piled into the MG with John and Alison and we sped off towards Baildon Moor for a ridiculous photograph session. I'm sure they think I'm a lunatic.

Later we went to Ernest's to sample his 'stout' and we didn't get home until about 6. Alison thinks I'm a nutter, but Mother thinks I'm alcoholic.

Christine D and Graham came at 8 and we went with Lynn, Dave, John P, Alison, Sue and Pete to the Dyneley Arms, and then to the New Inn at Headingley and then to Salvo's.  Tony and Martyn with lady friends met us at Salvo's, and they sat next to Alison. ________. Susan and I had a pizza and then shared another one. Gluttony Rules OK. Lynn was very drunk. I do really like Christine Dibb.

-=-

Tuesday March 7, 1978

_.A revolting thing has occurred. At 8:00am David and I set out to Leeds. (He had stayed the night). We were in the car and David glanced into the back and said: 'Oh, I've left my briefcase in the house'. But, sadly, he hadn't. A search of the premises found no briefcase anywhere, and we drew the conclusion that the thing had been stolen from his car, which had been unlocked all bloody night. David had left £100 in cash in the briefcase, which had been behind the passenger seat. He'd forgotten that he'd left money in it. How ridiculous, and so unlike David. Of course, Lynn had hysterics and Dad leapt from his bed to begin his line of enquiries. Some criminal will be laughing all the way to the bank. I feel sorry for Lynn and Dave who need every penny they can lay their hands on these days.

At home tonight I was confronted by four or five long, pale faces. Quite a contrast to the gaiety of last night.

-=-

Saturday February 11, 1978

Sun rises 07:23 Sun sets 17:08

Went with Lynn and Dave to see Edith and Ernest this morning. Snow was thickly laid, and it was too bright for the eye-balls following last night's extravaganza.

Peter didn't come up until after 12 and so we were late leaving for Stockport. As usual we became hopelessly lost and had a guided tour of Manchester, Blackpool and Glasgow.

We got to the Hollywood at 2 and the girls and boys were introduced to Mrs Glynn. We all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, and Dave B, being thoughtful towards the ladies, took us to a flea market where we rummaged amongst the antiques for a couple of hours. I didn't make any purchases, but I did my utmost to persuade Lynn and Sue to buy a fox fur stole complete with head, tail and beady eyes.

Back at the Hollywood for an evening meal Dave (B) was taken ill with a bad headache. Lynn says that 'bad heads' are hereditary in the Baker family. Dave's uncle died from one, and his mother is forever bothered by them. How bloody morbid!

My Rotters 'passport' snap.

However, we started in the bar, without Dave, at 8:30. Glenn and Garry came, and we left for the Emigration Inn at 9 after Dave's sudden recovery. From there we went to 'Rotters', where a bouncer refused me entry because I was clad in a leather jacket. This meant a taxi ride back to the Hollywood to pick up a suitable jacket, and I was back at the disco in ten minutes or so. An excellent evening. We consumed vast quantities of booze and danced like fools until 1:30. I became a club member and had my photo taken for a 'passport'.

Back to the Hollywood in taxis in freezing conditions at 2:00. Had cheese on toast and laughed and made merry as people are apt to do on these occasions. Lynn and Sue slept in Dave G's bed, Dave B, Dave G and I slept in the lounge. Horribly uncomfortable on the floor.

-=-

Sunday November 27, 1977

Advent Sunday. My eyes were opened to the principal bedroom of the Ratcliffe residence and Mr Mather's gaping mouth and Mantovani on the stereo playing 'Greensleeves' and then 'My Love is Like a Deep Red Rose'. All very nauseating. Peter George Mather, Esq is indeed a weird bundle of male. His eccentricities are numerous:

1). He persists in the wearing of the article of underclothing known as the VEST.
2). He wears his hair in the style of a lieutenant in Princess Patricia's Own Right Knee and Underskirt Regiment.
3). His bizarre musical tastes not only feature Mantovani and Max Jaffa, but Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson and Des O'Connor, &c.
4). His choice of footwear is indescribable.
5). His overall appearance is that of a 1958 bank clerk.
6). Sexually, he's a three year-old.
7). Sexually, he thinks he's a combination of Ryan O'Neal, Casanova, Mick Jagger, the Sex Pistols and Erroll Flynn.
8). He enjoys those archaic boys 'comics' like Hotspur.
9). Everybody's mother simply adores him.
10). If he'd been born American Mrs Edith Blackwell would campaign to have him elected president.

Peter: 1958 bank clerk.

Peter drove me home at 1:30. Shortly afterwards I went with Lynn, Mum and Dad to look at 34, Town Street, Guiseley, which is for sale. A poky, tiny little place but very 'country cottage with roses round the door' type of place. David is, I think, going to 'make an offer for it' as they say in the house buying business.

Back for luncheon and then collapsed in a chair by the fire with my knees firmly under the television set. The series 'Royal Heritage' featured George IV. Later, a Phyllis Diller film.

To bed at 12:00 with 'The Count of Monte Cristo'. Bloody Hell, I expect a visit any day from Alexandre Dumas to fill me in on where I'm missing the point. Oh, hang on, there goes the doorbell. He's here now. Come in, Alex! Sit down and take the weight off your Three Musketeers.

-=-

Saturday October 1, 1977

One of the most blank parties I've ever attended took place this evening ... or at least I think it did. Anyway, I'd better begin at the beginning. At what seemed like the crack of dawn I was taken  off against my will, in pouring rain, to Bradford by Alison, John, Lynn and David. (Oh God. I failed to mention that Alison and John (Pinder) arrived late last night from the depths of darkest Hampshire). Oh, how it poured down.

We messed around for a while buying records and flash cubes for tonight, and then after a brief lapse of time we found solace in the nearest pub. From here we found the Bod, which was unbelievable. We were the only inhabitants of what usually is the busiest tavern in West Yorkshire. It was here where we squabbled about surnames. Lynn said that after her marriage she wouldn't mind being 'Lynn Rhodes-Baker'. This made David blow his top for some obscure reason, and banging his glass of ale on the table he yelled: "If you intend keeping that name after we are married you might as well not bother with a party tonight because I'll call the whole thing off". It took ages to calm him down. It was such a silly thing for us all to become argumentative about, but it was David's attitude that fed my niggling. Lynn was very annoyed.

At Esholt: Sarah,Peter,Sue,David,Lynn and John.

Back home by 4pm. I began drinking bilberry wine and continued to do so until Sarah arrived at about 7.45. I was under the impression that we all were indulging in this wondrous wine, but from reports told to me later, I discovered I had been the 'Lone Boozer'. Sarah's arrival I remember well. She looked divine. What happened next though I just don't know. We all went to the Commercial where I spilt lager over everyone and swore in a disgusting manner. Mum and Dad asked me to be a little quieter. My next memory is back at home smashing eggs in the kitchen and breaking my camera. Mum joined in the egg breaking and went to town sticking them down Peter's shirt.

Because of the mess I changed into David's Fred Perry shorts and then became enraptured with Sarah. We seemed to be quite alone in the dining room dancing to Donna Summer and ending with Rachmaninov's 2nd Piano concerto. _______. We kissed, Everyone else just seemed to fade away. God knows what state I was in. Normally it wouldn't concern me but for the presence of Mr & Mrs Henry Baker and family. Sarah stayed very late and I escorted her to her car when she left. I really do fancy her to death you know. It's been in my blood now for a couple of years or more. What about John Macmurray though? I am sure she fancies me - so why are we always pretending nothing exists? Why indeed.

-=-

Wednesday September 28, 1977

Lynn and Dave became engaged. He presented her with a ring at about 7.30 and then took her off to Flashman's for a feast. Before this, however, we put away three or four bottles of that champagne substitute which tastes even better than the real thing.

Rt Hon David Steel: cause of nausea.

Lynn looked sublimely happy and I am sure it was a great relief to poor David, who just wants to settle down without any hullabaloo. Mum, Dad and I put away a few lagers after Lynn & Dave had left and then opened the Pernod. They returned at about midnight and we continued with the celebration session. Lynn especially was somewhat pissed and confided in her fiance to feelings of nausea. I was in a similar position too, but it was not all down to alcohol. David Steel and the Liberal party conference on the BBC was the cause of my intermittent vomiting, which completely flattened the whole occasion.

I took quite a few photographs of the happy couple, and so too did David. He now refers to me as 'Our Kid' and I'm sure he'd really like me for a brother. His own brothers are very sober, serious young men.







-=-

Tuesday September 27, 1977

Not a particularly wild, passionate or even remotely exciting day. I sorted out Lynn and David's engagement announcement with the fat lady on the reception desk and if all goes to plan - which no doubt it will not - the historic announcement will appear on page 32 of the Yorkshire Evening Post tomorrow evening.

'Mr D.A. Baker
Miss L. Rhodes

The engagement is announced between David Andrew, second son of Mr & Mrs H.T. Baker, of Farthingstone, Old Pool Bank, Pool-in-Wharfedale, and Lynn, elder daughter of Mr & Mrs L. Rhodes, of Pine Tops, Hawksworth Lane, Guiseley, near Leeds.'

Evelyn Waugh.

Otherwise, it was all quiet on the Western Front. Continued reading 'Margaret: Princess who appears quite a lot in the Daily Express gossip column' by Willi Frischbender. Nothing new in it at all. Mum, who is also reading it, keeps saying: 'Thank God we didn't buy it'.

'Decline and Fall' by Evelyn Waugh gets better. What a remarkable mind that man had. The character of Paul Pennyfeather is excellent and everyone who reads the book will be drawn immediately to his side. He calls for so much sympathy. The innocence of the principal character too is wonderful. Oh why don't I just go to sleep?







-=-

Monday September 19, 1977

Lynn told me this morning that she and David bought an engagement ring on Saturday. _______. She looks very happy now. Thank God her future is secure.

Mum says that Derek and Jennifer's baby born on Sept 1 or 2nd  is to be called Paul Justin. Just thought I'd let you know in case Mr P.J. Myers is the current prime minister.

Starving peasants ....

The (national) bread strike finished tonight leaving many peasants dead or dying throughout the starving kingdom, not. No one would have guessed that a bakery strike was on at all. The news media have blown it out of proportion. One would think we were in 18th century France the way they've gone on. "Ma'am, the peasants are starving. They want bread." "Oh let them eat cream crackers".

What do you think about Margaret Thatcher's proposal for a referendum on trade unions should they ever get a future Conservative government over a barrel?  I'm not sure really. I was opposed to the 1975 EEC referendum, but cast my vote all the same. Reducing the authority of the Houses of Parliament can only result from such action, but then the destruction of parliament as we know it is on the cards anyway.

-=-

Sunday September 18, 1977

15th after Trinity. Felt incredibly revolting again. Mrs Glynn made Dave and I a massive, greasy but glorious breakfast, and at 12 we set out for what was for all intents and purposes, a walk. The brightness of the sun was hideous and we sought solace in a pub with a loud juke box and friendly barmaid, even though she was a bit rough. "I've been married four times but never divorced" she proudly told us as she pulled the Guinness and went on to say she'd thrown one of her wedding rings in the river Mersey and "one in the bloody river on the Isle of Man", which due to my lack of geographical knowledge remains anonymous. Don't we mix with a nice kind of woman?

Dave G.

Dave says he thinks we are going to have a wedding in the family and so I just could not contain myself and revealed all. He was jubilant and plans sending an hilarious card on Sept 28. He likes Lynn and Dave immensely and jokes about being on the top table at the wedding. It turned into another session and by 2pm we were marching back to the Hollywood canned yet again.

Roast lamb for lunch. Afterwards we slept in our armchairs. At 8pm he saw me off from Stockport Station for Manchester. Coach back to Leeds and home for 10.30. The family were watching TV and eating a Chinese meal. I felt half starved but nobody had thought to put some grub on one side for me. Disgusting treatment when I had been many miles away for the weekend.

Watched the expurgated version of 'Soldier Blue' on the BBC which was quite boring. I feel a cold coming on. Blocked head, nose, ears, &c.

-=-

Thursday September 15, 1977

Good old Lynn and David, eh? I am so relieved that they have stuck it out to the bitter end like this. I cannot wish for a better brother-in-law than David, and I told him so at lunchtime when we went to the Boar's Head, a new pub near the Bond Street development. He was feeling rough after last night and only managed one, solitary pint, but I managed to put away a couple. He could not understand why he felt so nervous approaching Mum and Dad because he knows them so well. I tell him how good and considerate it was of them to give the family prior notice of the engagement. I don't think Mum and Dad would have wanted them just to walk in with a ring.

Dave & Lynn.

I left Dave at about 1.15 and staggered back to the YP. Work was ghastly. I'm not discussing it, anyway. How can I talk about work when my beautiful sister is about to embark on the biggest step down life's pathway? That innocent little child on whom I've showered my brotherly affection for almost 20 years is going to be married, with all the responsibilities appertaining thereto, BEFORE ME! Am I neglecting my duty as an older brother? Should I set a shining example to my younger kin by taking a bride in hand? Is it right and proper for a 22 year-old male, and a healthy one I hope, to be set permanently in the wicked ways of bachelorhood? How long will it be before the whispering begins? You know the sort of thing I'm getting at: "Hey Doris, did you see Michael Rhodes in his pink socks?" And: "Isn't it queer, Doris, how he's always behind the bicycle sheds with his boy scouts?" &c. No doubt about it. If I'm still unattached by my 25th birthday I'll be branded homosexual for sure. Who knows though? The visit of Jacqui a week on Friday may trigger another romance that will outshine the one with the late Miss Mather, or even Carole. We'll see anyway.

-=-

Wednesday September 14, 1977

Lynn and Dave: engaged

One of the most historic days to affect the House of Rhodes. Dad was working 2-10 for the first time since April and when Lynn and Dave came in at 8.30 they seemed very concerned that Papa was absent. When Dad eventually got back at 10 - it happened. Yes, you'll never guess what "it" was. Susan called me from the lounge and said: "David wants a word with you in the kitchen". I had no idea what all this cloak and dagger stuff was about but on entering the kitchen it hit me right in the face. A pale and drawn looking Dave, holding a bottle of Scots Mac, asked: "Can you stay in here for a while because I want a word with your Mum and Dad?" "Oh God" I exclaimed, "you cannot be serious?". I couldn't stop laughing. He was actually asking for Lynn's hand in marriage. It had happened at last. Within minutes Sue and I are back with the happy couple. They are to become engaged on September 28 - the third anniversary of the start of their relationship. We celebrated with a couple of bottles of wine, gallons of lager and of course the Scots Mac. They are planning to marry next September. It is all top secret, of course, until September 28. Mum and Dad took it marvellously. Dad thought an engagement might take place when they came back from Italy.

Lynn is like a changed person. For days now she's been uptight and sharp tempered. We all noticed it. Now we know why. The nerves must have got to her. Good old Dave joining the family is a great thing. Mum and Dad of course think he's marvellous. Blimey, another wedding in the clan! I always thought that Lynn and Dave would do the obvious but ___________________.

-=-

Friday September 2, 1977

Woke up this morning to find myself sharing Michael's double bed. He turned to me, touchingly I thought, and informed me that I am the last person he will have slept with before his marriage. I thanked him for the honour and wished him all the luck with Eileen, and hope he will be as happy with her as he has been with me. Taking a second look at me he sighed said that perhaps he was being rather hasty.

Got a bus with Eileen and her sister, Christine and arrived at the YP at 9.30. Work was ghastly. I took two large pills to try and persuade my head not to unscrew itself, but remained quite lifeless until lunchtime.

Harrogate Arms.

Met Naomi, Carolle Jones and Graham Peel in the Wellesley. A couple of drinks brought me round fabulously and the afternoon was a painless one.

Dave B took me to the Harrogate Arms tonight. Sue, Pete N, Martyn, Tony, Mrs Cole, Mrs Townsend, &c. Then Naomi came in with Graham P, followed by Pete M, Steve Hudson, Denise, Carole P, and Fogarty. Chatted with Carole, quite amicably, as to why Dave B was without Lynn. (She's gone to a RAF dispay at Cranwell with David Greenwood). Beryl Greenwood phoned tonight.

A good night at Harrogate nicely finished off with a prawn curry in Guiseley. Dave B was on top form.

-=-