Saturday April 8, 1978

Sun rises 06:21 Sun sets 19:45

John fell over me on his way to work at 8am. I was lying prostrate on his sofa covered in most of my brother's bedding, so I could quite understand his unsmiling and glaring expression. The next visitor to my lying-in-State was Master John Philip Hugh Rhodes. He was in a shy and cuddly mood. _____________. My nephew is nothing short of luscious. (Christ, I sound like one of those nauseating paedophiliacs, or whatever the term is for a child-molester.)

I dumped sweet Jacqueline onto a Leeds bus and got myself home for 10am. The house resembles the Banqueting Hall at Whitehall and is decorated throughout with floral tributes.


Pine Tops: for sale at £21,000.

An advert in today's YP announces that Pine Tops is for sale for £21,000. Let me tell you now that this is a bargain. Quite a few people phoned about the ad and one moronic couple called in the afternoon.

Tonight: Met Jacq at 7:45 and went to the Drop. Mrs Hanson (land lady) was very civil and gushing. Joined by Christine, who met Jacq for the first time. David L (in great form), John, Maria, Lynn and Dave B. At ten, after laughing about brown plastic 1 gallon buckets, we went to Scamp's disco in Bradford. The place is appalling and packed with city whores. Most of the males seem to be on leave from Catterick. I went to the loo. It resembled the loss of the Titanic and the sinking of HMS Hood rolled into one. Swamped we were. However, we stuck it out until 2 and then took Christine to Horsforth and Jacq to Leeds. A memorable evening, but none of those poor souls present (in our party) will ever darken the doorstep of Scamp's again.

-=-

Saturday December 10, 1977

Mum woke me at 7:30. I felt ghastly. Close to death in fact. I was in two minds about whether I should stuff my £2 bus ticket to Manchester and just go back to bed. I didn't. I have splashed curry sauce all over my new trousers. Stood in the bathroom looking at my piteous reflection. I nearly vomited. Oh My God, the Christmas season is upon us again!

Garry Barratt.

Got the 9:30 bus out of Leeds. An uneventful journey. I slept for part of the way. Met Dave at 12 and we began drinking on the spot. By 3pm I'd consumed about seven pints of lager. Dave and the boys bashed about playing billiards or pool or whatever they call it. I wasn't even a bit pissed. I realise how disgusting and horribly working class I sound. I may just as well be a coal miner or sheet metal worker if my social life is anything to go by.

After a meal prepared by the great Lily Glynn we went out to the Armoury in Stockport for 8:30. From here we went with Bill (Wright) and Garry (Barratt) to Rotter's disco ('First there were discos, now there's Rotters', is the slogan). We each had to put a £3 deposit down before the management would let us in the God damn place. I think the poor misguided souls took us for rogues! We did get the money back when we staggered out at 2:00am. We did have a good time. Why can't someone open such a place in Guiseley or immediate vicinity? They'd make a bomb. Oakwood Hall is the closest thing and that's light years away in comparison.

On the way back to Dave's it happened. Yes, I was sick. All my own doing.

-=-

Friday May 11, 1973

Got up at 6.20. The start of a really wonderful day. The sun was shining in a clear blue sky and the birds were singing merrily in the newly-full-leafed trees. Dress and run down the lane to catch the 7 o'clock 55 bus. Arrive at school at 7.25. Sit on the bus-park wall and wait for the economists and other hangers-on all going to Washington New Town, County Durham, today.

By 7.45 Louise, Christine, MM, and I are on the back seat of a rotten old coach. Dave arrived and joined us 5 minutes later. What a hysterical laugh it was on the journey there. After a few minutes on the road Christine decided she wanted a coffee and scalded everyone by pouring it out going down Pool Bank - where the road is very unmanageable. What a mess we were all in. We sang songs and played games - 'join the dots' etc. Our only stop was at a Forte's cafe where MM spotted a really pornographic magazine being displayed for all to see, next to a copy of Vogue, with Princess Anne on the cover. MM persuaded, or I should say 'dared' me, to buy the porn mag. I did, but he paid for it! What a laugh we had with it on the way home.

Washington was a really hateful place. The architect should really be strung up by his ankles. What a tip! And that's all I intend saying about the place. We set off back at about 3.30. Going home was even more fun than the journey going. In order to clean up the mess of any future 'coffee' incidents with Christine, MM and I stole a couple of toilet rolls from a public convenience and hid them behind the back seat - we certainly needed them!

Back in Rawdon by 5.30. Home at 6.20. Dave picked John and I up at 7.40. Spent an hour at the Emmotts where June, Sue B and MM arrived. June thought the porn mag was "terrible" - I have to agree with her to keep the peace. From the Emmotts we moved on to the Fleece at Horsforth. MM left us at 10 and we set off for the Elma at Shipley - where we were refused entry because it was a members only do.

We went on to the disco 'Caroline's' at Kirkstall. Before entry can be made you need a tie. John did not have one, so we used Dave's yellow handkerchief and a safety pin from Sue B's trousers, and pinned it to his shirt. June was hilarious. We got into the club at 11 o'clock. Remained until 2.05 am. The lights, music, drinks and atmosphere make it a wonderful place. Dave felt ill at midnight and he sat down in a dark corner. June and I danced some romantic steps and good old Dave managed to get John to dance with Sue. Dave brought the girls home at 2.15, nearly falling asleep at the wheel. John and I were home by 2.30. After he'd left I suddenly realised the porn mag was on the back seat of Dave's Dads car. The horror of it all! Mum was growing worried about the whereabouts of John and I. Straight to bed.

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