Thursday March 8, 1979

_. David Andrew Baker is 23 to-day. I bought him a bottle of pernod, which no doubt he will demolish within minutes of receiving it. I didn't see Lynn & Dave today because after work I went to Bill North's to continue daubing pain everywhere.

Did I tell you that Bill and I have settled upon the sum of £50 for decorating? Not bad, eh? Bill tells me that Sarah is a notorious hyporchondriac. I have always thought that the girl is obsessed with disease and illness and seems to go through endless lengths to avoid people with even the most minor ailments.

Worked until 8:30pm. Crossing a field at Headingley to get a bus I was accosted by two youths who asked: "Hey, Mister. Can we wank you off?" I replied in the negative. I would have missed the bus to Guiseley.

Peter came up at 9:30 and we went to find Chippy and Dave W in the White Cross. Chatted with Naomi and Jill. Did you know that, for some reason, I am attracted to Jill? God knows why. She is massive. She must weigh 12 stone - and nothing about her appearance is stunning.  The only thing that would stun you would be if she sat on you. However, I like her brain. Her mind intrigues me and I cannot refrain from chatting her up as if she is a Goddess, or something.

On to Oakwood [Hall]. Saw Steve Hudson there, and the divine Sarah [not Collis]. Also saw Tony Simpson and his friend from the Keighley Argus. Got horribly drunk, and remember nothing from the journey home.

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Wednesday March 7, 1979

_. Didn't get to bed until 4 this morning - so I don't feel like dancing to Victor Silvester.

Delia came over for me at 9am and we went over to Headingley and Bill North's flat. To our horror, he's lurking around in his dressing gown, or robe, sneezing and coughing as though at death's door. We expected the place to be deserted, but he announces that he has taken the week off and will be 'hanging around' whilst I am attempting to dollop paint all over the walls. Delia was very concerned at the prospect of my being closeted up with Bill for the day. We went through some amateur dramatics on the corridor near the lift, and when I took leave of her she disappeared through the floor wailing like a banshee.

I rubbed down the doors, painted the walls and finished for the day at about 6:30. Knackered I was in body and mind.

At home it wasn't long before I took to my bed.

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Tuesday March 6, 1979

_. Lynn's 21st birthday. Tonight we went out to nosh and make merry at the Coniston at Idle, near Bradford. Alison and John came. It seems as though a reunion has taken place __________________________. The party goers tonight were Mum, Dad, Lynn, Dave, Sue, Pete, Alison John P, Audrey, Henry, Chris Baker, Julie Harris, Richard & Mandy Baker, and me. I wasn't feeling in a celebratory spirit. I do not like the Coniston one bit. I felt the same last time I came here in 1975 for Susan's 16th birthday. The joint is more like a motorway service station café than a restaurant, and to be honest it just isn't worth it. I sat hurling packs of butter at Peter, which played havoc with the surface of the dance floor. I was the only member of the party without a partner, so I had to do something. Blimey, is this how I'm going to go through life?

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Monday March 5, 1979

_. I spent all day looking for something to buy Lynn for her birthday and finally settled upon a 'Toulouse Lautrec' Parisian-style poster. You know the one I mean. An old French tart with the top of her corset open, her tits hanging out and swimming in Pernod,  being ogled by bloated old gents in frock coats and top hats, monocles hanging everywhere.
I'm sure she'll like it. It will add to the bistro-effect of her dining room.

Saw 'Fawlty Towers' tonight. Someone should really persuade John Cleese to continue churning episodes out. So sad, isn't it, that all good things come to an end?

The dear Labour administration is five years old this week. Five wonderful years of prosperity and growth with round, fat children, all with well preserved teeth, dancing and openly rejoicing in the streets. Five years of giving so much money to old age pensioners that even now, as I sit here pen in hand, I can see a group of merry geriatrics dashing down the lane all pushing large wheel barrows crammed with crumpled old fivers. No doubt all having a Monday trip to the local rubbish tip. It's more convenient for them to dump excess cash than try and spend it. Most OAPs are too settled to become tax exiles in Juan Les Pins and St Helier.






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Sunday March 4, 1979

1st Sunday in Lent.

_. Went with Sarah and Delia to see Bill North at Headingley. It was my first ascent of a block of high rise flats and I was pleasantly surprised.

Bill is something of a cross between Larry Grayson and Liberace, and very suspect. We drank gin and tonic. I agreed to paint his hallway, which has ten doors leading from it, but no overall price was settled upon. He gave me £10 to be going along with though. Delia kept bursting into howls of laughter and blaming it on me, and it was all so childlike and good fun.  I am eternally grateful to that small, valiant lady, with the bunch of gladioli and campaigning spirit, who has undoubtedly saved me from prostitution & degradation.

Hilda and Tony came here again. Wine was consumed on the usual vast scale and we discussed the so-called family tree. I am sure that Tony knows more on this subject than he lets on , and when I next go to Pudsey I must look at the Wilson family Bible. I gave him the dates of the burials of John & Rella Wilson who died in Dec 1920 and March 1926 respectively. Lynn and David came and saw Auntie H for the first time in three years.

Saturday March 3, 1979

_. To the White Cross at lunchtime with Susie & Peter and then went on to Otley with the intention of buying Lynn a birthday present. Sadly, Peter's car broke down near Birdcage Walk in Otley and something of a pantomime followed. I made my way to a phone box and contacted Margaret Nason and arranged for us to get a lift from Jim. Back at Guiseley we secured Dad with the tow rope and headed back to retrieve the ailing vehicle.

Tonight: Out to the Regent [Chapel Allerton] with Sarah at 8. I had arranged to meet Sue, Peter, Chippy and Deborah but they didn't arrive until 9 o'clock. I was left talking to Sarah & Richard Burke and his brother Eamonn, which was awkward. The lads don't like me at all, especially Eamonn. It all stems from our mutual relationship with J___, and for some reason this is embarrassing for him.

The night was dull and boring. I don't want to go back to the Regent for a long, long time. Home at 11. Sarah and Richard were arguing. For a moment I thought I stood a chance, but this prospect faded rapidly. She has a strange choice of boyfriends does Sarah - they are always the same.

Watched Bogart in a film later.

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Friday March 2, 1979

_. To Len's Bar with Sarah & Delia at lunchtime. Why do I always prefer the mothers?