Tuesday May 4, 1976

I got up at 9.30 and Chris and Christine came at 10.30 and persuaded me to go to Scarborough after all. I am miserable and upset about last night, but C & C show me no sympathy and I am soon quite cheerful.

Scarborough was quite pleasant and we stayed until about 5pm. Scampi and chips at a pub at Stamford Bridge and home in pouring rain at about 10.30.

A terrible thing has happened. Carole made an attempt on her life this morning and was saved from death by her brother when he came home for lunch. She slashed her wrists.

Mum told me the news when I came in. Mrs P phoned to say C has had 18 stitches in one wrist and 15 in the other. Peter definately saved her life. I didn't speak to Mrs P but she told Mum that Carole would like to see me tomorrow afternoon. I will never go. How can I meet somebody who is quite prepared to have her death on my conscience for the rest of my life? The suicidal person will never get sympathy from me. I am shattered all the same. Mum is in a terrible state. Traumatic day.

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Monday May 3, 1976

Go to Bradford with my holiday money and meet Denise at the Painted Wagon. She tells me she and Tony finished on Easter Saturday which surprised me. I tell her it's only a matter of time before Carole and I are also washed up on the rocks.

Glad that the holiday is paid for anyway. Came home on the bus brooding about Carole.
Yesterday she was like a cabbage. Her moronic appearance is getting me down. I decide to break it off once and for all.

Dad takes me to see David in hospital at 4 o'clock. He looks terrible. A bottle of blood hangs above his bed with a tube leading to his arm. Five pints (of blood) he's had since last night. A hemorrhaged duodenal ulcer at 21 is a rare thing I think. He still managed to crack the occasional joke though.

Meet Carole at 7.30 and by 8 o'clock I've made my feelings known to her. Four hours of tears from both of us and hysterics from her which included a spectacular battle in the pouring rain at 1.15am. She looked heart broken and desperate but how could we have continued in a 'relationship' when I feel so bored & uninterested ?

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Sunday May 2, 1976

2nd after Easter. To Mallory Park in Derbyshire or Leicestershire. It's at Kirby Mallory anyway. See a few good motor races and get a glimpse of Noel Edmonds, who was surrounded by nine million female admirers (Christine and Carole included). It is nauseating the way women find him so attractive. (Jealousy).

Leave at about 4.30 and come back to the Menston Arms where Carole has an accident with a ham sandwich and slops the filling all over the carpet. Move hurriedly on to the Black Bull in Otley. From 9 o'clock until 10.30 Carole said nothing at all. Everyone remarks on her sullen, dull witted appearance.

Home at closing time. Carole fell out of Chris's van and hurt her leg. What a state. She was still covered in the remnants of the the Menston Arms sandwich too. She's so accident prone.

Get home where Sue tells me David L is in hospital again. Lynn is going on at me for not having visited him since he started being ill, but David isn't the type to appreciate wailing friends and relatives at the foot of his bed. However, he'll have to grin and bear it tomorrow because I will descend on the hospital with due ceremony.

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Saturday May 1, 1976

To the Hare as usual with Sue and Pete, and of course Carole. The beer and lager pumps are not functioning and so I drink Campari. Chris and Christine come in and we decide to venture to Oakwood Hall. Sue & Pete wait for John and Maria to give them a lift. Carole and I go with Chris. Boring night. Carole and I say the absolute minimum to each other and Chris and Christine argue like cat and dog. John and Maria come in with Sue & Pete but they leave after an hour or so. John was quiet, and wore a look of contentment on his cherubic face. Maria was animated and chatty.

Leave Oakwood at 1.30 but feel as though it's 4.30am. Carole and I are still silent on the journey home. Mallory Park tomorrow holds little rellish for me because of my crumbling romance.

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Friday April 30, 1976

Carole, Chris, Christine, Martyn and I escape from the Hare & Hounds quite early and head for the Red Lion at Burley-in-Wharfedale which personally I don't like, but I'm not driving am I? We have a good laugh and Martyn and I discuss the events of last Friday. He was violently sick on Saturday too - which makes me feel a lot better. I loathe being the odd one out.

Carole was happy enough in the pub but her temperament changed dramatically on the way home and she left me without so much as a 'goodbye'. Miserable lady, that's what she is.

Cannot help raving about Elton John. He was the sole topic of discussion the whole day at work and we are all now confirmed EJ addicts for life from now on. Even Carole enjoyed it. I expected the usual bitchy comments from the library staff of their first sighting of my girlfriend, but received none whatsoever.

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Thursday April 29, 1976

The Elton John concert tonight was indescribable. Brilliant, and the absolute ultimate in sound. For £6 Carole and I had immaculate entertainment. He came on stage at 8.30 and stayed until after eleven. He did all his famous pieces, and only a minimum of obscure ones. Missed the last bus home and had to walk from Rawdon. Carole stayed at our house because I din't want her walking to Menston. Saw a woman pissing all over a bus shelter in Guiseley, and laughed all the way home. Home for 1am absolutely deafened by fantastic Elton, and crippled. Shagged out entirely.

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Wednesday April 28, 1976

Buy a pair of jeans and go out wearing them tonight in order to give them a trial run for tomorrow night's Elton John concert. Meet Carole near the Hare & Hounds at 8 o'clock and spend a boring, unimaginative, speechless evening propping up the juke box. On the rare occasions we do speak it's only to hurl silly, childish insults at one another. I'm cheesed off with the whole rigmarole. She knows it too. Carole thinks that all couples behave the same way as we do. Look at her bloody family.

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