20200403

Thursday December 13, 1979

_. [In Ally's own hand]

[as dictated by Mr Michael Firefly]

It was with great relief that the author regained consciousness feeling much better in himself. Miss Dixon now takes up the tale:

"On arrival, not only was a glass of the famous QC sherry handed over, but also a glass of home brewed carrot wine. The night was enhanced by the joviality of Mr & Mrs Baker, the Rt Hon James Nason and his glorious wife Madame Margarette. [deletion] .... the authoress is aware that people like to shoot grouse occasionally.

-=-

Wednesday December 12, 1979

_. [compiled by Ally's own hand]

My darling Michael was far from present at the delightful YP. My little heart sank as Carol informed me of his whereabouts... at home in his bed! The spitfire, minus petrol, got me to his side. I threw his letter at him and left. I waited for him to ring, but no, as usual he left me in despair. My pianoforte sounded out of tune as my delicate fingers bashed out the notes of the 'Fairy Waltz' - I played like I have never played before!

After his visit from 'Miss Melissa Teasdale' the aforementioned Mr Rhodes took to his bed in a haze of delirium and Lemsips. Goodnight!!!!

-=-

Tuesday December 11, 1979

_. [NOTE] I think I injured my hand and was rendered unable to place pen to paper. I handed my diary over to Ally and gave her permission to compile the journal.....

[deletion] ... You were out living it up with a little dolly bird. Anyway, that's beside the point! Meanwhile at Standale Rise, Pudsey, Michael was feeling the first twinges of his nasty disease at the homestead of his dear Aunty Mabel. Snot perfused from his nasal cavity, cascading over the simple Spam sandwiches that lay before him. Next .....

-=-

Monday December 10, 1979

_. [Indecipherable other than] What now follows is an account of a week in the life of Mrs Melissa Teasdale [a nickname I gave to Ally].

-=-

Sunday December 9, 1979

[Blank]

Saturday December 8, 1979

_. Got out of bed at 10am to MM on the phone asking Ally and I to attend tonight's wedding party. They are marrying at Rawdon Church this afternoon. I explained that we are having a Christmas party and cannot make it.

A busy day of preparation. Ally raided her Snoopy money box and we went into Bradford for hours of gruesome and frantic shopping. I was given the task of carrying £7 in pennies around the town. She had every intention of attempting to spend the coins in a supermarket. Obviously, I strongly disagreed with this ridiculous idea.

Back at Club Street I bedecked the house with decorations and festooned the tree with more balls. Inflated balloons too. Ally prepared a buffet, cheese things and creamy stuff whilst I huffed and puffed.

At 7:30 we went with Sue and Peter to the Dog & Gun at Apperley. Sue says life has been frightful at home today and Mum is behaving as if deranged and had been in tears on the phone to Lynn.

Back to Club Street for 8:30. Lynn, Dave, Mum, Dad, Jim, Margaret, Julie N arrived at 9. I felt long, uneasy silences in the gaps between the records. Mum was wearing a brave face but obviously not feeling herself, and Margaret, who is usually very noisy, sat straight faced and impassive. But then she moved over to the piano, raised the lid and banged away in a hideous fashion. It soon became clear that she cannot play a single note. She is nothing short of a lunatic.

-=-

Friday December 7, 1979

_. This was one of those rare and wonderful Fridays when I do not suffer a multitude of self-inflicted agonies brought on by outrageous lashings of wicked, chilled alcohol.

This evening I returned home to find Mama tucked up in bed with stomach pains. I suspect they are probably pains of a menopausal nature. Dad and Sue were messing around making tea. I made myself a cheese sandwich. At 7 I was back on the open road to Bradford. It took an hour to get to Lidget Green. A tiresome journey across that dark city.

Ally I had our usual crawl around a few of the local taverns. Afterwards we erected Mum's 6" silver Christmas tree, adorning it with balls and flashing lights. This was a temporary measure just for tomorrow night's party because next week Dave B is getting her a real tree from Chris Baker's farm.

Ally fell into a coma on the hearth rug. Can you hear the distant toll of wedding bells perhaps?

-=-

Monday October 14, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds Columbus Day, USA - Thanksgiving Day Canada Old Red Lion. A very silly day. I climbed out of bed very early leaving my...