Tuesday January 20, 1976

I ignored the alarm clock this morning and got up in a panic at 8.15. John drove me into Guiseley, and I managed, by some stroke of heavenly providence, to catch the 8.20 33 bus.

Do the indexing with Sarah all morning then complete the list of top christian names for 1975. I devoured piles of sandwiches for luncheon, and then showed Eileen how to file cuttings. So all in all, it's an industrious little day at the YP.

The weather is shocking at the moment. People are being crushed in freak winds and gales. The weather has all gone to cock in the past few years and I can forsee the day, not too far ahead, when Royal Ascot week in June is cancelled because of snow, and when temperatures reach 90F on Christmas Day.

I'm worried about the Carole affair. I would hate to hurt her in any way, but feel she is too dependent on me. I loathe responsibility of any kind and feel horror struck by the way she relies upon me for everything. I don't want to cut off our relationship completely, but wish I could have more freedom and time to go out seducing other nubile wenches. God! I am only 20. I don't want to be stuck with one woman at my time of life! Aaarrghh! Yes, I know I'm a hard hearted, vain, self-seeking swine, but at least I admit it. Lots of you would be ten times better off if you'd only accept your own faults and vices once every so often.

Go with Mum and Dad to the Commercial - and John of course. We have a goodf night. I wish we could go out in a family group more often than we do. Dad likes us to go out with him.

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