Friday May 28, 1976

Sir Harold Wilson's (resignation) Honours List was published this morning. (James) Goldsmith is a knight; Lew Grade and that nice Sir Bernard Delfont (who always makes the Queen so welcome at the Royal Variety Performance each year) are life peers; and even Mike Yarwood got something. He's OBE if I'm not mistaken. Lots of MPs are creating over certain names on the list but I consider it petty and ignorant of them. It is a retiring premier's privilege to honour whomsoever he choses and to argue with his decision is nothing short of treachery. After all, the Queen herself approved the names before the honours were conferred. Who argued when Churchill ennobled his doctor, Charles Moran? Poor old Harold cannot do anything right - not when the Press is Tory controlled anyway. You wouldn't think I was a Tory voter, would you?

Meet Tony and Stuart in the Central at 1pm. Go over with Eileen, who is 19 today. Buy her a few dry Martinis, but she seems miserable and dull. Leave the lads at 2 and go back to the office.

Meanwhile, that night: Tony comes up at 8 o'clock just half an hour after Lynn and Dave go to the Lakes until Tuesday. Spend an hour in the Hare and at 9 we go up to the Emmotts where the two of us meet Carol J and Marilyn. I feel uneasy and the girls, especially Carol, are unusually silent. At 11.15 we shoot off in the direction of Leeds for a meal of some kind. End up at the 'Damn Yankee' until some unearthly hour. A costly and uninteresting evening.

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Thursday May 27, 1976

To Oakwood Hall with Tony and his friend Stuart (Walker), who is manager of the Ilkley branch of W.H. Smith. Have a good night._________________________. Stuart is a nice lad.

Back to our place at 1.30am for coffee and 'Monty Python Live at Drury Lane'. We're out on Friday night too. It will make a change from the usual meeting of 'Wrist Slashers Anonymous' at the Hare.

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Wednesday May 26, 1976

Buy Helen and Graham a ridiculous pepper mill in Schofield's. Don't suppose they'll ever use the damned thing, but at least it's something.

March down the lane at 8.30pm with the pepper mill suitably wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper. Contemplate my life.

Received another letter from Carole today begging me to go back out with her under any conditions. She says if she only sees me once a month she'll be happy. She included in the photographs we had taken at Blackpool at Easter. How can she expect me to go back to her? A fool she is, and a fool she'll always be if she continues with this silly craze.

Meet Helen at 9 o'clock and we walk across to the Malt Shovel for a quick drink. (A quick four or five drinks actually.) We talk about our lives and listening to Helen's sordid history over the past three years one realises how fantastic she must feel being settled at last. She tells me that everyone should have experience of living alone, away from home and parents, before marriage is contemplated. She says home life is cushy and people have no idea how to cope on their own until they do this. I disagree on this. Look at the happy marriages that have worked between people of no previous 'domesticated' experience? Walk her home at 11 o'clock after wishing her all the luck in the world. I take my leave and walk home. A mild, tranquil night.

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Tuesday May 25, 1976

A Traumatic evening. At about 7 o'clock Lynn cut her finger on a corned beef tin and collapsed in the kitchen while Sue and I looked on in horror. Lynn isn't the squeamish type at all, and I am startled to see a normal, level headed girl flaking out at the sight of a splash of blood. She was soon conscious and pulled round. The poor thing shed a few tears, but David was clowning around in his usual fashion in order to revive her. When she was fully recovered she and Sue entertained David and Peter to a meal whilst I languished in the bath 'to keep out of the way'. See a film on BBC1 - 'Three Into One Won't Go', or perhaps 'Two into One Won't Go' or was it three? Starring Rod Steiger and one of the Geeson tarts. I have seen it before and cannot say that I am impressed by it. Better than 'Coronation Street' anyway.

Bed after eleven.

(Go on, I bet you're all asking bed after eleven what? Well it isn't what you think. It wasn't eleven women, or men for that matter. Neither did I devour eleven oranges or take eleven peeps at my life-sized colour photograph of a naked Angela Rippon - in fact it was after the hour of eleven o'clock. Goodnight to one and all.)

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Monday May 24, 1976

Hear the alarm clock for the first time in months and lay awake until I hear Lynn plodding around the house at 7.30. She complains about me having a party as though I'm a small child. What's happened to the adventurous, boisterous sister of mine? If a lad can't have a bit of a party occasionally he might as well go live in a Russian labour camp or something. All work and no play isn't something I adhere to at all. Is poor Lynn forgetting what it's like to indulge in a bit of good, old, dirty fun?

Work: we laugh at Saturday night and Sunday mornings escapades. Evidently, when I was at Carol's I was chasing one of the cats all over the building in awe at the sight of such an amazing creature. On being reminded that I am severely allergic our feline friends I am reported to have exclaimed: "Oh, is she a cat?" What on earth did I imagine I was so attentively pursuing? This question, unfortunately, remains unanswered.

Sarah tells me that Peter B thinks he knows me from somewhere. I tell her his face is very familiar. Where have we crossed paths before? This is another mysterious, unanswerable question.

Home at 5.15 after calling in at a shop in Guiseley for a loaf. Chicken and chips for tea with Lynn & Susan. Just the three of us. Sometimes I feel that our family is dwindling away. Things are bad enough without John, and Mum and Dad away make something of a large gap. Lynn tells me that she met CB this morning, who told her every detail of Saturdays events. I cringe at the very thought of CB's colourful descriptions of Mrs Monkman yelling abuse from her bedroom window and other tales of a blood-curdling nature. A sharp, rebuking letter is called for. I don't believe in hiding things from Lynn or purposely deceiving her, but the complete gory details are quite unnecessary. Dear me.

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Sunday May 23, 1976

Rogation Sunday. Drive home from Marilyn and Carol's flat at about 8.30. My eyes pour with water and itch. Eileen, Michael and Helen are the only survivors, or so it seems. Christine & Roger are in Mum & Dad's bed, and Denise and Peter are in Lynn & Sue's room.

We make breakfast - Eileen and me that is - and one by one they drift downstairs. My cat fever soon passes and breakfast is followed by a wrestling match between Christine & Roger. She was so drunk last night. It's my first real conversation with Roger, who isn't half as bad as he likes to make others believe.

Helen goes off and Keith makes an exit with Denise in the direction of the moors. They get back an hour or so later and make breakfast for themselves.

By 12.30 Eileen and Michael have gone, and at 1pm I stagger into bed. I am woken ten minutes later by Carole on the phone. She chats about last night. She didn't attempt to do herself in. All she did was cut her finger on a Martini bottle which she accidentally dropped on the drive. She says she knows I hate her, which just isn't true, and goes on to say she will always love me. I don't say anything of importance andgo back to bed. Can't sleep at all and get up for good at 2pm. Watch a Shirley Temple film with Keith who comes at 2.30. We drive over to see Denise and the three of us go to Harrogate's Valley Gardens in the spitfire. It's something of a squeeze but we have a laugh. The fresh air did a lot to revive me. Keith and Denise are hand in hand all afternoon _________________. Back to her place for 6.30 and home for 7 o'clock. Bid farewell to Keith until next weekend. Chris and Pete call in at 8.15 just as Lynn and Sue return home. The three of us go to Linton and then to Grassington. End up in the Fish Dish in Ilkley at 11.15. A good evening out which I undertook with my fly open until a gent let me know I was being indecent in the Devonshire.

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Saturday May 22, 1976

Mum gets me up at 9.30 and they're away on holiday to the Isle of Skye at 10.30.

I hang about at home until 3pm when I ring Denise and arrange to meet her in Bradford at 5.30 after I've done some shopping.

Cook myself a piece of steak at lunchtime and by 3.30 I'm in Bradford succumbing to the charms of a devious shop assistant who forces me into purchasing two T-shirts - £10!!

Meet Denise at 5.30 and travel to Bramhope where we have fish fingers and cannon ball peas for tea. Peter M comes in at 7.30 and catches a mouse scurrying across the kitchen floor. The poor thing collapsed and died in his hands five minutes later - must have been the shock of seeing Peter M close up. P was heartbroken.

To the Hare at 8.30. Everyone comes: John, Maria, Sarah, Peter, Carol, Marilyn, Cousin Jackie, her boyfriend Don, Tony, Denise, Chris, Pete M, CB, CD, Keith, Carol Smith, Carole, Linda S, Ann from the USA with her sister Carol, Christine 'Snow' White, Eileen, Michael, Roger Boughton, Naomi and her Welsh cousin Helen, &c, and many more.

Fantastic party. Jackie disappeared early with a stomach disorder, but otherwise all was fine. At 4.30am Keith drove me and Marilyn to Carol J's flat in Horsforth where we stayed until 8.

Sarah was a good laugh and her boyfriend Peter is quite a decent chap really. John thinks he resembles David Hamilton which may be the reason why I think I've seen him somewhere before.

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Friday May 21, 1976

Meet Denise and Marita in the Central at 12.30. Eileen joins us at 1pm. Have a few drinks and discuss plans for the party. Marita probably won't make it because she's going to MM's at Sheffield.

At 2.15 Denise and I move on to Parker's wine bar and get through a full bottle of white wine in 45 minutes. Talk about our relationships with the opposite sex. ______.

At 5 o'clock we get the train to Guiseley and have a cup of tea with Mum & Dad. At 7 we both go to the Hare & into the steak bar. My steak is too well done, but otherwise it is very good. Through in the bar all the brigade are assembled. Even Tony is in. Denise and I sit with him and we end up singing 'Jerusalem' and 'Onward Christian Soldiers!' Helen joins us too. Chris is in with Carole, John and Maria.

Tony brings me home at 11. We are going to Oakwood Hall on Thursday I think. Feel rather drunk. See 'The Third Man' on TV. Bed after 1am.

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Thursday May 20, 1976

Out with Christopher to the Hare & Hounds and the Black Bull. Discuss Miss Phillips. He says she asked him out today and that she's started to phone him twice every afternoon. He seems angry about it, but insists he's made his feelings quite clear. He tried to put her off by telling her he only goes out with women 'for one thing' - Oh, big mistake. Knowing Carole such a statement will only make her all the more eager, because if anyone's a nymphomaniac she is. I have no intention to be catty about my ex, but it's plainly obvious to me that she wants a man quite desperately and isn't particularly bothered who he is , where he's from, or in what circumstances he came into her possession. I, quite naturally, caution Chris, but he seems to know the dangers. He cannot understand why she should have started professing her love for him, whilst sending revolting romantic bosh, in letter form, to me. The poor girl is neurotic or something and should not be touched with a barge pole by anyone in trousers until she matures enough to form serious feelings for an individual. Here endeth the lecture. Besides, a barge pole wouldn't be big enough.

Finish up at the Black Bull and arrive home at 11 o'clock to hear that John had been round wanting to know my whereabouts.

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Wednesday May 19, 1976

Mum and Dad are purposely refraining from letting me know just where they are going at the weekend so that I will not make arrangements for the usual orgy. However, I am gambling that Saturday morning will see their departure north, south, east or west. They know full well that I will have a 'party'.

All Carole's letters to me are now destroyed. She sent me yet another one today vowing the usual things - eternal love, devotion, &c. I find it nauseating to say the least and will prove this by burning every item of her correspondence. Never before have I thrown letters away. June's are still intact, and of course CB's are piled up in bundles. Carole's are nothing but paper to me. The words are uninteresting and strangely false, as though she's copied the lot from a sickly, grotesque romantic novel. I would never have read them again.

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Tuesday May 18, 1976

A warm, pleasant day. Go into town at lunchtime and collect the two Elton John records and at the same time order 'Make Me Smile' by Cockney Rebel for Christine. Why can't a chap buy a ladyfriend a gift occasionally? Nip unaccompanied into the Ostlers and have a couple of lagers.

Main topic at work is the coming events of Saturday night. Darryl Wills says he's coming when he hears that Sarah is attending. If she brings Peter, her boyfriend, we'll all be done for, but knowing Sarah I can see her turning up in a single capacity just to please me (wishful thinking).

Mr Monkman was buried today at 2.30. Dad and Ernest Blackwell represented the Hawksworth Lane residents, but I didn't fancy the idea at all. Funerals are not things one should rush into are they?

David rings at 7 o'clock to say his Dad is in hospital following a mild heart attack! God Almighty! That family is in a bad state! Mr Lawson always appears to be such a healthy chap too. He comes up to our place at 8.30 (David) and we go to the Queen's on Apperley Lane to meet Marita and Denise for a few drinks. It made a change going out on a Tuesday. We had a few laughs. David goes back into hospital on Friday and doesn't think he'll be well enough to come on Saturday.

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