Saturday December 11, 1976

Up at 1.20pm - the phone is ringing like something not right. I lay listening to it expecting one of the servants to answer, but no. After it had ceased I investigate further to find I am the only living soul in residence. 'Breakfast' alone with the record player. Mum comes in at 2 with Maria and baby John. He's grown since I last saw him three weeks ago. A Macdonald too - no Rhodes visible in him at all. Facial appearances of babies change like the weather, don't they? Maria and John stay all day and I arrange to meet them in the Hare tonight.

I go down to the Hare with Sue & Peter. Andy, Linda, Chris, Pete, John, Maria, Elizabeth Macdonald, Molly, Jim, Vasilly [a Greek friend of Libby's] and his wife, &c. Have a good time and it's back to Ridgeway at closing time. Look on in horror as Peter drinks gallons of Jim's whisky. Back at 2am. Mum has been baby-sitting for JPH. Straight to bed.

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Sunday November 21, 1976

Last after Trinity. Wakened by Mother who brings baby John into my room at 12 o'clock. He slept in her bedroom from 1am until 6.30 this morning and then from 7 until 10. A beautiful, placid and contented child. Breakfast isn't so pleasant though: Lynne is like ice and says few words whilst attacking her sausage, bacon and fried egg. I don't give a damn. It's been a weekend of squabbling and bickering and I can't say that I was particularly thrilled last night. I danced more with Maria than with Lynne, who was dull and so like ________.No doubt it's just an off weekend. She goes at 1pm and at 2 Mum and I take JPH back to John & Maria's where they are just beginning lunch with Lynn & David. They are thrilled to see the little lad after so long a separation. It was the first time J & M had been to a disco since my birthday at Oakwood Hall on April 3!

Home to Pine Tops where Mum, Dad and I watch an old film on the BBC. I keep drifting off to sleep - that is until Mama mentions fish and chips. Within minutes I'm queuing in the November cold at Harry Ramsden's. Later see a David Hemmings/Gayle Hunnicutt film which is quite good and I retire to bed at 11.20 after the thrills and excitement of 'University Challenge' on ITV.

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Saturday November 13, 1976

Miss Mandy Phillips

Oh God. What a hangover. Tony's on the phone at 10am and wakes me. Says he's coming over later. I stagger about the house doing my best to make myself look normal when John, Maria and John Jun arrived at 12.30. The infant is growing more beautiful every day and is much stronger. He's smiling more as well. Tony comes at 1 o'clock and he takes me down to Bradford in the car. I'm feeling really ill. We go through a car wash and in order to cheer me up he tapes the proceedings. Yes, we are raving lunatics. Go into WH [Smiths] and see Denise for the first time in months. She promises to come up tomorrow. She and Tony didn't seem at all antagonistic towards each other. Back home at 3. I nursed the baby for an hour or so until I began to feel better. Ring Lynne and speak to Peter M too. Martyn rings me and we arrange tonight's session.

To Ilkley with Tony at 8.30. Collect Martyn and then Stuart. Up to the Craven Heifer [Addingham] and then on to Bingley where we pick up a couple of girls. Miss Mandy Phillips, of Thornbury, Pudsey, and another girl, Margaret, whom we decide to call Heidi because of her Tyrolean dress. On to Oakwood Hall where more pilage, plunder and rape took place. Didn't get in the state I was in last night however. Back home to Pine Tops at 2.30 and entertained the lads for more than an hour. Laughed like Hell at the 'Excuse me, Miss' track on the Monty Python [Live at Drury Lane] LP. It really does work wonders. Bed after cheese on toast. Goodnight.

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Thursday October 28, 1976

John comes up at 7 o'clock to say Maria and the baby have a touch of cold and can we go down to see them another night instead. Lynne and I had intended taking a few bottles down to number 69. Instead we go on something of a pub crawl. Red Lion, Black Bull and Hare & Hounds. We discuss all manner of popular topics. Birth control, sex, marriage and Roman Catholicism. Called in at Harry Ramsden's - a rare spectacle these days. No CB out tonight.

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Wednesday October 20, 1976

Go straight to [John] & Maria's from the YP. Beloved John Philip Hugh is sleeping upstairs & Maria and I chat about old times over a coffee. Discuss the 'George' days. John comes in at 5.30 and the four of us [that's including a slumbering J.P.H. Rhodes, of course] go up to 14, Ridgeway, Tranmere Park, Guiseley. Molly is besotted with her grandson. Her other three grandchildren, Anna, Andrew and Katie are belting around the house like hooligans. In fact the whole scene is reminiscent of a Manchester United football match. Stay to tea, which is made by Anne [Maria's sister-in-law] and consume a couple of glasses of wine in the process. Give John Philip Hugh a lengthy nurse and he is, or appears to be, on the verge of starvation. Molly feeds him whilst we have tea. Don't leave until 9.30, and arrange to visit them at number 69 with Lynne tomorrow night.

Mum and Dad have been to the Bridge Inn at Ingleton. They come home with tales of wonderment, but I'm sceptical about the whole business. I won't say anything else on the subject until we take up residence there, and if we don't you'll never hear of the bloody Bridge Inn again.

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Monday October 11, 1976

Leave Thornton-le-Dale at 7.30am. Leeds at 9.20. Not bad going, eh? Work was yak. Home to paint the banisters in the hallway and watch a farce of a film on TV. Nothing of excitement to report at all.

Baby John Philip Hugh paid his first visit to Pine Tops yesterday and made a great impression. John & Maria came for lunch I think.

Bed at 11.30 - midnight. Sorry about being so boring. I'm in no mood to elaborate.

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Wednesday October 6, 1976

Good Old Uncle Harry's birthday [54th]. Take my umberella with me to Leeds this morning and, quite naturally, this particular region of the British Isles sees temperatures in the mid-nineties. Not a drop of rain to be felt within 48 million miles of my soddin' umberella.

See in the late editions of the EP that Margaret Hilda Thatcher attended the memorial service for the late Sir Edward Heath, thus ending months of speculation that at the time of the former PM's death the pair were not on the best of terms. Margaret Hilda really should have Sir Edward stuffed, mounted and placed on castors so that she can wheel the old gent onto the platform at the party conference each year. Votes would pour in.

Take the bear round to John's at 6 o'clock with Mum. See JPH and actually hold him in my arms. He's absolutely gorgeous. Mum cannot take her eyes off him. He was more interested in sucking his clothes and even thought Mum's ear was a source of nourishment. Maria looked a little pale. Didn't see much of John. Molly was full of cold, and so was Jim. Home at 7 o'clock for dinner and then it's decorating the hall and landing until 11.45pm. Believe it or not, I quite enjoy daubing paint on doors, walls and banisters, &c. So rewarding to stand back when it's all completed knowing you are responsible for the whole bloody lot.

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Thursday September 30, 1976

Awakened at 7.15 by Mum rushing into the bedroom. It's a boy! Maria was delivered of a 8lb 7oz son at 6.05 this morning. John was with her from 1.30am, and Mum, Molly and Jim were in the waiting room. I leave for work at 8am an uncle. The folk in the office are cheered by my good tidings and I have great difficulty in working. Attempt to ring home all day but the phone is constantly engaged.

At 4.30 I go up to the Reference Library and get thoroughly soaked in the process so much so that a 'new baby' card I'd bought for John & Maria is ruined along with a couple of newspapers. The rain was running down my back and in an attempt to keep dry I zipped up my bomber jacket and caught my gold chain in the zip and snapped it. Home at 6 o'clock dripping wet.

Mum and Dad visited their first grandchild this afternoon and Mum says he's the most beautiful baby - ever. Today is also Hugh Macdonald's 29th birthday and so the new baby is to be named John Philip Hugh.

John comes at 7.30 and he takes Susan, Lynn and self to Hyde Terrace. We each spend 15 minutes or so with John, Maria and the baby. He really has the most beautiful, unblemished complexion. So many babies have that 'poached egg' look. John is over the moon. None of us can really take it in. Call in at the off-licence and buy £5 worth of booze. At home discover that Mum's spent the same amount on the same commodity, and so we have a little 'wetting the babies head' treatment. Take a few photos. Bed at 2am.

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Wednesday September 29, 1976

CB rings to say she is the proud owner of an automobile. A Triumph 1300 to be precise. Arrange to go out for a drink at 8pm.

[Hold on a bloody minute the lot of you. Mr Michael Rhodes took the day off to do a spot of decorating and of course to see Miss Lynne Mather off from Yeadon on her trip to good old Spain. She flew off at 9.30 in something of a misty spell. Won't be back until Saturday week.]

CB and I go for a drink to a dead Hare & Hounds and then onto to Emmott Arms where Keith Brown is behind the bar dishing up ale. Half an hour in that God forsaken hole was enough, but, to our horror, we find we are trapped in the carpark by another car. CB attempts to manoevre the machine through a gap in a stone wall whilst I go back into the bar to find the owner of the offending vehicle. On returning to the carpark I'm almost overcome by the fumes of burning rubber and masonry, and can see from CB's face that all is far from well. "I've scratched the bloody car", she yells, and with that we rocket off to the Fox & Hounds. As well as a scratch she's managed to unhinge the bloody car door. To the Hare for the last one and home at 1045. CB drives off with her car door flapping.

Molly and Jim are just leaving with John after visiting Maria in Hyde Terrace. At midnight Molly is on the phone saying Maria is in labour! At last! At 1am, or so, John, Mum, Molly and Jim go off to Leeds again. Poor John of course is car-less at the moment. Lynn and I sit waiting for news. By 5am I am too tired to keep awake and fall into a nervous unconsciousness on the settee.

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Saturday September 25, 1976

John's 20th birthday. The first time that one of 'us four' have been away from home for a birthday. A wet, disgusting day. To make matter's worse Lynne's car on Edith's drive, doesn't start and it takes Dad and David 30 minutes, in pouring rain, to get the bloody thing going again. Lynn comes with Lynne and I to Leeds. The less said about shopping in monsoon-hit Leeds the better. Get John a bottle of 'Aramis' for his birthday and buy 'Givenchy Gentleman' after-shave for my own personal use. Lynne buys a white polo-necked sweater and Lynn got David a couple of presents because they've been going out for exactly 2 years next Tuesday.

Mention the drought to me mate and I'll crush your balls in a metal vice. Harsh I know but you can't expect to antagonise me and get away with it Scot free. [Or is it Scott free? And from where does this saying originate?]

[Large gap at foot of page where I was supposed to record my visit to Eileen Byram's party in Dewsbury. It is sadly lost to history.]


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Tuesday September 7, 1976

Do you realise that Queen Elizabeth the First is celebrating her birthday quietly somewhere today? The old girl is 443 years old. A grand old age, eh?

Lynne comes up for tea. With Susan & Peter we go to 69 Silverdale Drive to see Maria and John and the progress of the house. Papa is up to his eye-balls in emulsion paint and John is doing something technical with a kitchen cabinet. Poor Maria Looks enormous. Even bigger than before. Is this thing inside her a monster? Will Otley hospital be the scene of some ghoulish trauma? Only time will tell.

At 8 o'clock Lynne, Sue, Pete and self go up to the Emmotts!! See dear old Ivy Fitton who remembers me and asks after John. I tell her he will be a father in a couple of days and she cannot believe it. She also mentions June, as she always does, and says that her fiance is called Brooks. The place is like Benton Park's Old Commrades Association annual general meeting. Sheila Woodhead and Carol [who sat 'A' level history with me] are sat quite near but they don't recognise me. It's Lynne's first visit to the place and after an hour or so we move, inevitably, to the Hare & Hounds. Had a spot of trouble persuading Lynne to go to our favourite ale-house, but we all enjoyed it when we finally arrived.

To Harry Ramsden's at 10.30 and we devour them [fish and chips] in Lynne's car. Peter N didn't want his Dad's machine filling with the aroma of rotting fish and fried potatoes.

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Thursday August 19, 1976

Christine Dibb's so-called 18th birthday party at the Hare & Hounds. Lynne and I go down with Susan & Peter, and we stand with Martyn, who is terribly nervous because Alison [Dixon] is coming in with her new boyfriend, John [Pinder], and Lynn & David. Al and John are staying at Pine Tops from tonight until Saturday.

Get a bit pissed and chat with Maria on the subject of marriage. She cannot understand me when I say some women are out for a good time just like lots of men are. She thinks all girls leave school and take any old job that comes along in the hope that a quick marriage will soon rescue them. I am sure that the majority of women have no such thing in mind. Take Lynne for instance. Marriage to her is millions of light years away. It would take eternity to get her down the aisle - not that I'm wanting to.

Lynn & Dave come in with Alison and John, and I'm sorry to say I do not like him at all. He even bought Martyn a drink - creepy of him to say the least, and I do not rellish sharing a bedroom with him for two nights. Home at 11.30. In bed for midnight. No sign of Lynn, Dave, Alison and John until 4.30am, when they stagger in in a drunken fashion.

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Monday August 9, 1976

Continue researching those in descent from Charles II. The 2nd Duke of Grafton has scores of descendants in the [House of] Lords, and new additions to my list include the Earls of Rosslyn, Westmorland and Warwick; the late Duke of Sutherland, Viscount Churchill, and many more. The completed list should be amazing. My name hasn't cropped up yet, but I expect it to very shortly.

Nothing interesting tonight. John comes at 9.30 and stays for about an hour. He says Maria si still undecided about the names of the baby if it proves unlucky enough to be of the female sex. He says she wants to do something rash and give it a foreign name [if female] but a boy will be John Philip junior. It proves my theory that couples always go mad and adventurous when naming a girl. We're always Johns and Michaels &c, while they are Hyacinth, Rosamond and Guenivere, &c. Mum _______.

Have fish and chips and a bottle of Guinness for supper and watch a weird Dirk Bogarde film on the BBC. Nothing of 'that' nature would have been screened on TV a few years ago, but they don't seem to bother these days. Upstairs at 10.20. Wash my hair. Bed at 1am.

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Saturday August 7, 1976

Emerge at noon. Go to John & Maria's after lunch and stay until 6pm. Jimmy is in bed with one of his migraines and I don't see any sign of him. Libby is sewing curtains (for J & M's bedroom) for all she's worth and Molly spends her time looking on in a stew of constant bewilderment & wonder at John.Poor Maria looked shagged out. They'd been to Bradford and bought equipment for the baby. Sterilizers and all that. They have a mock quarrel about decorating and Jim Senior retires to the lounge to play Bach on his stereo. A pleasant afternoon although I do worry about John. At about 5 o'clock with little prior warning he disappeared into the garden with a large preserve jar to catch frogs! The thought of becoming a father in the near future must have unhinged his poor brain.

Home at 6.30 and ring Lynne. She comes at 8.30 and we go to the Hare & Hounds. Sit - just the two of us -in a corner for well over an hour.CB and Roger are in and they are hysterical at the fact that Carole is down at the other end of the pub with two or three unknown men. Carole leaves after half an hour or so without having said anything. Chris and Peter come in at 10, but Lynne and I move on to the Red Lion at Burley-in-Wharfedale, and then to Cousin Dorothy's at the White Horse. She really is a tartar. D tried to congratulate Lynne and I on our marriage but I managed to stop her just in time. Go on to the Minstrel's Gallery in Ilkley until nearly 2am. A tremendous evening.

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Tuesday July 20, 1976

Do not feel like working today and decide over breakfast to pack up and come home at 12 o'clock. After three and a half hours I'm back in Guiseley and standing outside the Albion fish and chip shop with my tongue hanging out. Since returning from Ibiza I have been obsessed with this tasty delicacy that has delighted the palate of millions for several generations. I cannot control myself and dash through the door and eat fish and chips on the spot.

Home at 1 o'clock for lunch. Bacon sandwiches this time. Mum and Dad go back to work and I ring John & Maria to see what's going on this afternoon. Molly tells me they are out but they come round at 3 after receiving my message. Maria devours chunk after chunk of orange cake and we sup cups of tea whilst some decision about how we are to spend the afternoon is reached. Eventually we decide to go to Guiseley Library - Maria and I do anyway. I get a novel by Trollope which no doubt I'll even give a second glance at, and a volume on the descendants of Charles II and Nell Gwyn. Maria came in to see if there was anything on christian names. Nothing interesting catches her eye and they bring me home at 4.30. I spend an hour before tea reading a chapter on the Dukes of St Albans.

I am giving some thought whether I should, or should not, purchase John's car. He says he'll never afford to run it once he is in his own residence and the advantage of buying it from him is that I can do so by paying weekly installments or £10 or so. At tea time Dad does his best to disuade me, saying that I'd have to put the motor before all other things and he dedicated a greater part of the monologue to the listing of the sacrifices I would be compelled to make.

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Friday July 16, 1976

Buy a pair of shoes at lunchtime after having spent all morning showing a 16 year-old girl the library & the cuttings and filing system.

That night: Lynne comes at 8.30-9 o'clock & we go to the Hare. I previously presented her with an old pair of jeans I no longer wish to wear & a white rose. We laughed a good deal but once we were in the pub the communications seems to have lagged somewhat. Dave L was out with Sandra and so was Christine & Stuart, who go on holiday to Austria & Italy next week. John & Maria, Andy and Linda, Chris, Pete M, Jimmy Macdonald, &c, all in the pub. At 10 we moved on to the Black Bull in Otley for an hour. Lynne sits with Maria deep in conversation whilst John, Dave, Jimmy, Chris, Pete, stand at the bar.

John bought four New Zealand White rabbits for £4 today from a mate at work who was going to drown them! The soft hearted nit! This benevolent act of reprievement will now boost the rabbit population of Tranmere Park and the launching of John in ther career of breeder extraordinaire.

Home with Lynne to Pine Tops at 11.30 for bacon & egg sandwiches with Mum & Dad. The two of us sit until about 3 o'clock and she drives away into the dawn looking tired and shagged out.

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Thursday June 24, 1976

Carole rang me at work to wish me a nice holiday and she tells me she is going to live in London and get a job down there within the next few weeks and that I'll never see her again. Both Peter and Chris have seen her and Denise with Chris Denby - so I think poor Carole is just inventing stories about seeking her fortune in London to get on my tits.

John comes at 8.30 and we watch 'Monty Python' for the last time. At 9 the two of us go to the Hare for a quick one and he brings Maria down at 9.15. Mum and Dad come in at 10 o'clock and the five of us have a pleasant family 'piss-up' - excuse the crudeness today, but we all have these moments don't we?

Mum and Maria are getting along like a house on fire. __________________. John was saying that the house is just about ready although they don't want to move in before August. They'll definately be in before baby arrives.

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Wednesday June 9, 1976

A beautiful hot day. Leave work at 12 and come home for lunch with Mum and Dad. After a visit to Guiseley library I scale the lane and collapse in a deck-chair for a couple of hours with 'Princess Margaret and her family' - a book written in 1974. Quite a laugh really.

Three months today I may well be Uncle Michael. Unbelievable, isn't it? John can't believe it; Maria thinks it's all a dream and Dad dreads the grandfather image that will attach itself to him on John Junior's birth.

Tuesday June 8, 1976

It was nice to see John and Maria yesterday. ___________________.

I rang Carole at 9 o'clock this morning to say I can't make it to see on any evening this week and I make it plain that I am in no great hurry to meet her any time in the future. She says something to the effect that 'I thought you'd find some excuse', but we end on cordial terms. It was wrong of me to agree to her demands in the first place.

John came round tonight at 9 for Susan to cut his hair. He stayed for an hour and was in high spirits. Married life isn't cramping his style at all and no one can deny he looks the epitome of happiness.

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Saturday April 17, 1976

Carole comes at lunchtime and after ten minutes we all pile into the Toyota and Dad takes us, Sue, Pete and Mum to the Commercial for a 'liquid lunch'. Devour a couple of beef and onion sandwiches and two or three pints of lager.

John calls in at 10 to say that Maria is undergoing a hair cutting operation in Guiseley. I shudder at the thought because Maria has such attractive hair and to think that a maniac armed with a pair of scissors is tearing away at it brings a I tear to my eyes.

It's back to Pine Tops at 3 o'clock for turkey, cauliflower and the lot. Even white wine.

Carole and I walk to the Hare at 8.30, and are joined by Chris, Christine, John and Maria. Maria looks horrible, like one of the 'Black & White Minstrels'. Her lovely waves are gone completely and only short, fuzzy curls remain. Ghastly.

Move to the Swan at Addingham. John wants to go to Jackie's party tomorrow but Maria absolutely refuses to go.

John brings me home at 11.30 and I set my alarm clock for 6 o'clock - a daunting thought indeed.

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