Tuesday October 12, 1976

Lynne comes at 7.30pm and Tony arrives at 8. The three of us nip down to the Hare where we meet Helen and Graham - something of an anti-climax. Nice seeing them, but what is there to say after 6 months? CB is in fighting form. See Judith and Kathryn and mention the party to them. Will they come? I'll quiz Judith on Thursday.

Believe it or not, I still think constantly of Carole. It's every time I see Lynne that somehow I begin to compare the two. Don't ask me why. She haunts me more and more. It's not so bad when I actually see her. She means nothing to me then. God. I am possessed. Imagining the whole damned lot probably. Lynne deserves the GCVO for sticking me for so long. I shall have to write to Audrey Callaghan [throb, throb] and persuade her to mention it to Jim.

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Monday October 11, 1976

Leave Thornton-le-Dale at 7.30am. Leeds at 9.20. Not bad going, eh? Work was yak. Home to paint the banisters in the hallway and watch a farce of a film on TV. Nothing of excitement to report at all.

Baby John Philip Hugh paid his first visit to Pine Tops yesterday and made a great impression. John & Maria came for lunch I think.

Bed at 11.30 - midnight. Sorry about being so boring. I'm in no mood to elaborate.

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Sunday October 10, 1976

A sunny day. Not umberella weather at all. After breakast, at midday, Lynne and I go to Scarborough with Rebel [the dog], leaving Peter at home messing about with a window frame and Mr Rat glancing at the Radio Times. Spend a couple of hours eating crab and candy [floss] and drinking coca cola and walking the dog. He's a crafty old devil and only limps when he can put it to his advantage. The sun is out in force. Scarborough is much better at this time of the year. No dirty peasants playing ball games all over the beach, &c.

Home to Ty-Onnen at 4.30 to tea and cakes with Mr & Mrs M, Peter, Karl and Mr Rat. Watch TV until the evening meal at 6.30. The gentlemen depart for Horsforth at 7 o'clock and after 'Fawlty Towers' Lynne and I go back to the Royal Oak [I think] in Pickering. Feel bloated all night and take great discomfort in the consumption of cold lager. Donald M and his good lady wife are so matey.


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Saturday October 9, 1976

Lynne lands at Yeadon Airport at 3.30pm. Donald & Vera Mather and Karl came 10 minutes before the plane landed and Brigadier Kenneth Hargreaves, Lord Lieutenant for West Yorkshire, represented the Queen. The massed bands of Princess Patricia's Own Light Infantry serenaded Lynne's arrival with the lament 'The Flowers of the Forest'.

To Thornton-le-Dale. Peter and Chris were already at Ty-Onnen on our arrival and we all settle down to a meal at 7 o'clock. Tia Maria flowed like water. [Tia Maria is water, isn't it? - Editor].

Romantic night in Pickering with Lynne, Peter and Mr Rat. Pickering is hardly the Soho of the north, but we had a good laugh all the same. Peter is so narrow mined though. [That's beside the point, Michael. Let's not get rude about the brother of the lady you happen to love]. Back at 11 o'clock to watch Phyllis Diller on TV, then Michael Parkinson and Wilfred Hyde White and the late Vincent Price. Also saw a Googie Withers epic until 2am by which time Lynne had fallen into a coma and only Mr Mather and Mr Rat survived. Sad eh?

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Friday October 8, 1976

To Oakwood Hall with Tony, Stuart and Simon. The first hour is somewhat boring and I feel a bit 'left out' if you know what I mean, the three others being employees of W.H.Smith & Sons Ltd. However, Naomi [Downing] makes a grand entrance with Lynne [the Comtesse de Oval] and a few other whores. Naomi is a nice girl. In fact we danced all night. Stuart seemed to be enjoying himself with the comtesse, and 18 year-old Simon was seduced by a 24 year-old unmarried mum with a four year-old daughter, Vanessa. Tony was the only one who kept saying he felt miserable. Drink quite a lot of lager and some unspecified quantity of gin. Not too pissed though. Mucky Stuart and Mucky Simon leave with Lynne de Oval and the unmarried mum, and so Tony and I are left to fend for ourselves. Discarding Naomi at 2am the two of us return to Pine Tops for coffee. He says he's not sure he's doing the right thing giving Smith's retail the push. "Twelve years is a lot to throw away" he kept saying. ________________.

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Thursday October 7, 1976

Painting everything in sight until 8.30pm or so. CB rings at 6 o'clock to see if I'm going out on the town. I say no. Not like me at all, is it?

See Frankie Howerd on TV and then have a few drinks with Mum & Dad who come back from the Commercial saying Carol has suddenly returned to the USA without warning. What can have happened between her and Raymond? We did try to warn them about holidaying in Wales. ___________________________________.

Retire to bed....

after supping my lager..... tits...... hanging about in all direction.....shagged ......Precisely, he said, with the end of his fist thrust firmly.....

HRH The Duke of Kent is 41 on Saturday!

Good Old Duke. Edward Nicholas Paul Patrick David George William Bill Ernest Frederick..... or something like that.

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Wednesday October 6, 1976

Good Old Uncle Harry's birthday [54th]. Take my umberella with me to Leeds this morning and, quite naturally, this particular region of the British Isles sees temperatures in the mid-nineties. Not a drop of rain to be felt within 48 million miles of my soddin' umberella.

See in the late editions of the EP that Margaret Hilda Thatcher attended the memorial service for the late Sir Edward Heath, thus ending months of speculation that at the time of the former PM's death the pair were not on the best of terms. Margaret Hilda really should have Sir Edward stuffed, mounted and placed on castors so that she can wheel the old gent onto the platform at the party conference each year. Votes would pour in.

Take the bear round to John's at 6 o'clock with Mum. See JPH and actually hold him in my arms. He's absolutely gorgeous. Mum cannot take her eyes off him. He was more interested in sucking his clothes and even thought Mum's ear was a source of nourishment. Maria looked a little pale. Didn't see much of John. Molly was full of cold, and so was Jim. Home at 7 o'clock for dinner and then it's decorating the hall and landing until 11.45pm. Believe it or not, I quite enjoy daubing paint on doors, walls and banisters, &c. So rewarding to stand back when it's all completed knowing you are responsible for the whole bloody lot.

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