Sunday April 20, 1980

_. 2nd Sunday after Easter

Ally dropped me on Manningham Lane and drove off to her labours at the Belfry. 10:30 on a sunny morn in Bradford, my lungs full of curry fumes, and my heart singing along with the birds.

At home Mum and Dad are full of excitement about an old pub they visited near Pateley Bridge last night. The Stone House Inn at Thruscross is owned by an 86-year-old doddering gent and his daughter. They told my parents that the place will shortly be up for sale.

Glynnie has been very quiet since the Grassington weekend. Has he tired of our company?

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Saturday April 19, 1980

_. Clad in my finest gear I set out at 11 to pay court to Miss Dixon. I found her reclining in her boudoir. She pottered around upstairs and I sat twiddling my thumbs. This set the scene for the day.

A little man appeared at 1:30, with a sizeable tool box, and he went up into the loft in search of damp patches.

At 9pm we went to a couple of pubs in Thornton. Ally thought she might bump into her office mate, the demure, tiny, mouse-like Catherine and her fiance, David. But we were left alone for the night. We did a fair bit of giggling. I now look as though I've just flown in from Nassau, Bahamas, thanks to the infrared sun lamp. Fish and Chips in Lidget Green and then back to Club Street, where I discovered a wonderful delicacy: blackcurrant jelly flooded in gin. It's an ideal way to get shy and innocent people to discard all their clothing.

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Friday April 18, 1980

_.Decidedly hung over. I won't dwell on it because I know how boring it must be for you all in the twenty third century busily topping up on anti-hangover pills.

Carol J took her leave of us this afternoon to begin a European tour of Earl Bathurst proportions. [Wasn't it Allen Bathurst who started the craze for the aristo European tours in the eighteenth century?] The Russians are waiting like vultures for President Tito to give up the ghost. Let us hope that Carol is in the right place at the right time and is conscripted into the Yugoslav army, and helps save Europe from Soviet domination.

A night in front of a blazing television. Saw 'Soap' a funny American spoof.

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Thursday April 17, 1980

_. A traditional Thursday with the full works that included a visit to Oakwood Hall. I glowed like a jubilee beacon all day thanks to Sue's infrared sun lamp.

Ally came at 8. We went to the New Inn. Drank gallons of Tetley's bitter. It was particularly favourable.

At 10:30 to Oakwood for cider with ice and dance. I become increasingly jealous of others who crawl around Ally. Philip Wilson, very drunk, tried several times to dance with her. Pete came in with Gus. The latter threw his arms round me and kissed me. Gus then proceeded to dance like an eastern tart. He wants to go to a party in Lincoln on Saturday, but of course this is quite impossible. I was looking particularly attractive. Nothing short of stunning. Your average stud at Oakwood Hall is about 18 these days. Later events are not clear - opaque in fact. Naomi was squealing with delight. Big Jill came over, gave me a knowing wink and a grope.

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Wednesday April 16, 1980

_. Mummy and Daddy went off to Fieldhead Road to see Jim and Margaret. ______. I had a bath this evening and afterwards Sue insisted I try out her sun lamp, an infrared thing. With a bit of luck I might fade to a more acceptable colour by morning.

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Tuesday April 15, 1980

_. Toast and marmalade. Had no lunch, to save money for the holiday.

Speculation is running thick and fast regarding a certain marriage. Lady Amanda Knatchbull is not the lady in question, but Lady Alison Dixon, and I am my mother's answer to the heir apparent.

Mother has started questioning me regarding my marital intentions, and is quite breathless from the excitement of it all. The whole thing is nicely sewn up as far as she is concerned. She knows, or thinks she knows that I will marry Ally, but the time and place eludes her. I sat in silence, stony faced. It is a pity that such an intelligent woman has fallen for idle, trivial  and dangerously speculative nonsense.

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Monday April 14, 1980

_. Sarah came into the office and apologised for abandoning us on Saturday. She didn't want to go to Black Louis's party, but Richard insisted.

Papers full of speculation about the Prince of Wales and Lady Amanda Knatchbull. Can this be it?

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Sunday April 13, 1980

_. Low Sunday

The Observer has a piece on the Prince of Wales and Lady Amanda Knatchbull's relationship. When the boring old Observer gets on the bandwagon I feel it must be serious. They say she'll use one of her middle names and be 'Queen Victoria.'

Ally and I watched 'The Dam Busters'.

Ally went off to the Belfry. I spent the evening compiling a lengthy letter to her. Watched 'Not the Nine O'Clock News' on BBC2, the funniest thing on TV at the moment. An up and coming actress called [Pamela] Stephenson gave a remarkable impersonation of Angela Rippon.

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Saturday April 12, 1980

_. Ally and I ate toast and marmalade and made faces across the dining table. We wanted to do something exciting and so I suggested we go Bramley in search of the cemetery to locate my great-grandfather, John Rhodes, and his wife Christiana Ross, who died nearly 40 years ago. Ally spent hours in the bathroom making herself look pretty. One would think we were having cocktails with Princess Michael of Kent and not grovelling around in the graveyard of a muddy Leeds suburb.

We got to Bramley for about 1pm and soon located the Baptist Chapel. We found it quite easily considering I haven't been since Dad took me there about 10 years ago. We trudged around in the long grass. It was a futile search and we gave up. It seems that John and Christiana are at rest, in secret. We went on to Pudsey for a drink at the Boar's Head. Ally posted some cash through Auntie Hilda's door for some reason, and then we returned home to see Sue and Peter.

I phoned Sarah and told her about the 'film show' tonight and she was beside herself with excitement. Ally and I met Dave L at the Cow & Calf. They do get on very well. At 10 we joined Sue, Pete and co at the White Cross, and we all went back to Pine Tops for a 'blue film' marathon at 11. Sue, Pete, Ally, Dave L, Dave W, Chippy, Debbie, Frank, Gus, Sarah, Richard Burke, Ken [the projectionist] and his lady wife. After 10 minutes I was thoroughly bored. In fact it was quite revolting. Like looking in a butcher's shop window.

We all smoked and drank profusely and did a good deal of tittering on the settee. Sarah found the whole thing an education, but Richard's jaw dropped at my joke about the Pope and Ursula Andress. He is a good catholic, I think.

As soon as the film reached it's climax the house cleared as if we'd been raided by the vice squad. Sarah and Richard excused themsevles and shot off to Black Louis's party in Leeds. We were invited too, but Ally pulled a face and declined the offer.  Just Dave L, Ally and I remained and we decided to eat. Dave refused to share my garlic beans and stuck to poached eggs, fruit cake, and a pot of tea. Pornography certainly gave me an appetite, if nothing else. We sat around the record player having a 'sing along'. 'Sweet Takin' Guy' by the Chiffons has a good chorus for dabbling in descant. Dave departed in full voice.

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Friday April 11, 1980

_, I spent the small hours washing glasses and was joined by Dmitri, the Persian cat from next door.
By the time I climbed into bed I already had a hangover. At 7 I regained consciousness and ignored Ally's pleas that she may be excused her daily labours at Bradford AHA. I was firm and poured hot, black coffee over her to persuade her to quit the festering pit. Once up she scampered around and left at high speed at 8am.

I had lunch with Jacq at the Ostlers. She arrived looking very dull and proceeded to describe how her house has been burgled and stripped of every item of value over the Easter holiday. She and Paul returned from Trixie's in London to find a desolate ruin. The thieves swiped all her record collection, and even her leaking iron. Saturday's party is now cancelled. The poor girl is really disillusioned with mankind. Had a few pints in the dismal atmosphere and returned to the YP at 2.

Mum and Dad left for a weekend of peace and tranquillity in Northumberland. At 7 I phoned John at Molly's and he came over at 8:30 - Maria drove him to ours with Janette. We went to the White Cross , then the Fox and Hounds (with Sue and Pete) and then on to the New Inn at Guiseley, which was packed. We saw Ken, and I asked him to come show a few 'films' tomorrow. John and I were quite pissed, whisky. On the way to the New Inn we saw Maria parked up there, gassing with Christine Airey. _______. Ally came at midnight and stayed the night. We drove John back to Ridgeway and the two of us sat in the car, still open roofed._______.

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Thursday April 10, 1980

_. Lynn and Dave came to eat and were singing the praises of Stranraer to the extent that I thought they may soon be crossing the border and join the prodigal John Rhodeses in the heather.

Ally came at 7:30. We went to the Menston Arms. Joined by Mum, Dad, Sue, Pete. John & Maria didn't arrive until almost 10 o'clock accompanied by Jimmy Macdonald, Karim and her sister. Jimmy and I had our usual political debate. This one concerned the House of  Lords and the hereditary principle. Why should the upper house be dominated by life peers, retired MPs and personal friends of Sir Harold Wilson? The hereditary element brings younger people, not just professional politicians into the chamber.

At 10:30 we returned home to continue the party. Neither Karim or her sister joined us but Jimmy came along and the heated debate continued. I sat smoking on the fireplace. Maria, in good form, asked me from which jumble sale I'd bought my white jeans.

Ally, exhausted, collapsed in my bed. I carried on smoking and putting the world to rights.

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