Tuesday August 31, 1976

Mum and Dad had a terrible row this evening. He wants to go out for a drink but she is still feeling too ill [with her back]. So he goes off on his own leaving Mum crying, and Lynn [for some reason] virtually hysterical. Is it a full moon tonight, or something? If so it will answer the question about Daddy and his sanity. I think I'll change my name to Wilson. And that's not after, or in honour of, Sir Harold either.

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Monday August 30, 1976

Bank Holiday in England, N.Ireland & Wales. Out for a drink with Tony. He comes up at 8 o'clock and we go to The Drop in Guiseley until closing time. Discuss the usual subject: 'Miss Akroyd & the Details [Once Again] of the Collapse of Her Entanglement with Anthony Brotherwood, Esquire'.

It's three years since I had a nasty verbal exchange with the fat, wholesome landlady of the Drop [Mrs Hanson], and although I vowed never to darken the doorstep of that place again, I have been in a few times since.

Tony comes home for a coffee and we watch part of the revolting Edinburgh Tattoo on the BBC. The sooner Scotland is granted its independence the better. Why should the United Kingdom continue to be associated with such a far-flung, bleak, and pagan nation? [Just a joke, mate. Some of best friends are Scots].

List of Nice Scottish people:

Sir Harry Lauder
Dame Flora Robson
The Queen Mother
Flora MacDonald
Hugh Fraser, MP
The Earl of Dalkeith
Moira Anderson
Andy Stewart
Mary, Queen of Scots
Sir Iain Moncrieffe of that Ilk
The Duke of Rothesay
Billy Connolly
Lord Lovat
Rupert Murdoch........

Rupert Murdoch?

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Sunday August 29, 1976

11th after Trinity. CB stayed the night at Pine Tops and we entertained her to luncheon. Mum remained in bed throughout and I received some icy looks from her on the few occasions I ventured into her [bed]room to see her. I don't think she approves of me entertaining young ladies when Lynne is away. Am I married? Am I a bachelor?

Carole was at the Stoney Lea last night with her new found friend, Naomi [Downing]. CB had a bit of a chat with her, and so did Tony. I think she fully expects to get back with me one day.

Straight after lunch we drop CB off in Guiseley and Dad and I go back to Silverdale Dr to do some decorating for John & Maria. Stay until 7.30 and do the hall and staircase a green colour.

At home I fall into a coma at about 10.30 and miss the end of a thrilling episode of 'The Avengers'. Stagger up to bed and into a deep sleep.

Saturday August 28, 1976

Up at 8.30am!! Planned to see CB but changed my mind over a cup of tea. Go up to see Mama, and she sends me to Dr Ludlow to get some tablets for her pathetic back [ache]. I also go to the library and get a pile of books to entertain her while she's bedridden.

Home at 12.30 and go straight out again. This time with Dad to Morrison's. Do the week's shopping and after lunch the two of us go down to 69 Silverdale Dr where we get on with the decorating. I rub down and sandpaper the lounge window and undercoat it. John comes in just as we are leaving to inspect our efforts. He stands around like the 1st Duke of Marlborough watching the progress of the building of Blenheim Palace.

Home at 7o'clock and after a hurried bath I go down to the Hare with Lynn & David. Lynn sitting on my knee in the [Triumph] Spitfire. See Judith and Kathryn and they have people in stitches with their quick flowing repartee and humorous chit-chat. CB and I go into the tap room and ring to book a taxi to collect us from the 'Upstairs, Downstairs' disco at the Stoney Lea. She gets pissed and tells me that she wants to go to bed with me. She always says that when I'm involved with another woman.

Tony and his 'latest' [girl] from Hertfordshire come in to the Hare at 10 o'clock, and they take CB, Carol Smith and me to the British Legion in Ilkley where we pass a hysterical hour waiting for Martyn. Up to the Stoney Lea at midnight with Martyn, CB and Carol S in a taxi, and don't remember all that much about the next couple of hours. CB and I are together all the time, and I feel revoltingly guilty, deceitful and unpleasant. I bet Lynn and Dave have something to say in the morning because I had the distinct feeling that disaproving glances were coming my way.

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Friday August 27, 1976

Mum is bedridden with her back. I don't like being at home when a member of the family is ill. I have a pathological hatred of poorly people. I'd walk round Lourdes slapping cripples.

Poor Molly Macdonald is at death's door. John told Dad today that she burst a blood vessel in her arm yesterday evening and a doctor told Jim [Macdonald] that 'she could go at any minute.'

Sarah told me today that she and Peter [Baker] have finished. Pity really because he was quite a good laugh, but at least I stand a chance once again. Oh, I might have been going out with Lynne M since June, but that devilment still exists. You can't keep a good man down.

Out with Lynne at 8 o'clock to the Hare. A dead, miserable hole it is too. Sit with Sue and Peter all night, and then David L and the delectable CB arrive at 10 o'clock. Whenever she's around I go wild with exuberence and excitement and our eyes seldom drift from each other for long. Why is this? Is it cruel to Lynne? Do I really think anything at all of Lynne? What the Hell have I been doing since the beginning of June? Oh God. Have I been leading L down the garden path? After Carole, will I ever have a normal affair again? [I'm not offering any apologies for all these questions because you lot have nothing better to do than to attempt to answer them, anyway.]

Home at midnight and Lynne goes off to Bramhope to collect Karl from a party and they drive to Thornton-le-Dale. Won't see her now until next week.

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Thursday August 26, 1976

I've committed a ghastly crime. After 21 years as a law abiding member of society I have now fallen into the abyss of degradation and sin. What has this man done to to place him in eternal damnation, you are all asking? At 11.20pm last night I, Michael Rhodes, did wilfully and knowingly drink a glass of WATER. Yes, I know you cannot find the words to describe this diabolical action. Sorry everyone. I'll never do it again. It's not as if I like water anyway.

Latest DROUGHT News: The Thames is now non-existant. Evidently it dried up in the early hours of the morning, and there's nothing Mr Callaghan, or anyone else for that matter, who can do anything about it. The elephants at London Zoo are having to bathe in dirty, used water - poor things.

Lynne comes up at 7.30 and we watch 'Top of the Pops' with Mum. At 8 o'clock we go to the Hare where we have some revolting cider which virtually cripples us. Lynn had crippling pains in her abdomen, and the fish and chips in Otley didn't help matters. We go on to the Black Bull [Otley], but after half an hour she still feels off it. We come back to Pine Tops for coffee and look at the photo albums. Lynne shows Mum Peter's [21st birthday] party pictures. Hear that CB rang te ask if I'm going to Thornton-Le-Dale on Friday. I'm not going this weekend, but the weekend after. I'm working on Bank Holiday Monday.

Dave L goes to Gloucester next week & so on Saturday night it will have to be a 'do' at Oakwood Hall. No Lynne there of course, but no doubt I'll get by. I love freedom occasionally.

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Wednesday August 25, 1976

Gasp...Gasp.. I'm still here anyway. The heatwave continues. Jim Callaghan has appointed one of his Cabinet ministers to be 'Minister of Drought'. It's a good idea really because the general public likes to have sombody to blame for the bloody awful mess we are all in. I for one will not be sorry to see our water supplies cut off. It's just what this bloody country needs. Britain needs such a crisis to help get us all back on our feet. We didn't have soccer hooligans in the war did we? Why was that, do you think? I'll tell you why. It's because all the young lads were up to their eye balls in a Malayan swamp, or sat playing 'knock out whist' in a trench in the Dardanelles. You mark my words. Stand-pipes in the streets and on the highways of Britain will act as a unifying force to the nation and before you can say Ethel Kennedy we will have a Tory Government in office once again. Margaret Thatcher may look daft, but under that peroxide exterior lurks a fiendish little brain.

Lynne comes up for tea at 6.30 and at 7 o'clock we're in Bradford to see 'The Outlaw Josie Wales' at the ABC with Tony - and surprisingly, with Carol J. I can never fathom Mr Brotherwood's relationships. One minute it's on, and the next ....The film is very good. Clint Eastwood as a cowboy. Back to Tony's new dilapidated flat until 12.30. Carol was peeved about something.

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Tuesday August 24, 1976

Come home from work feeling absolutely buggered. Tony rang to suggest visiting the ABC cinema either [on] Wednesday or Thursday, and I say yes to tomorrow night. Give Lynne a ring too and she agrees to accompany us. L says Mrs Mather is far from happy with Thornton-Le-Dale. It's quite understandable really. The Mathers are a close family and are being torn apart because of the move. Lynne is splitting her time between Roundhay and Thornton-Le-D; Peter's working over here but living over there; Karl wanting to stay at school over here, but living over there, &c. It's enough to drive them all completely batty. Poor Vera Mather. My sympathies ineed.

A night in front of the TV. By 11pm I cannot keep my eyes open. Why? It must be the water, or rather lack of it. Yes, the drought is affecting each and every one of us now. Oh, I cannot remember when I last took a glass down from the shelf and turned on the tap to fill it with H2o. My mouth is so dry and I am so dirty. When did I last take a bath? Was it Coronation year? No, it was the day President De Gaulle died because I will never forget the cracking emotion in Kenneth Kendall's voice as he read the 9 o'clock news bulletin just as I sank into the suds. Blimey, do you remember the day when people could actually flush the lavatory?

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Monday August 23, 1976

Need I mention the weather? Just take it from me that things remain just the same until I give you further notice.

At work Sarah tells me that Peter [Baker] says he is a divorcee, but she doesn't believe him, and thinks he may still be married. She thinks it would be interesting to investigate him. We need a private detective on the job.

Marlene, Frank, Auntie Mabel and the children come here after tea. At 7.30 Sue, Pete and I walk down to Silverdale Drive to see John & Maria's house. They got the key on Friday morning. John was putting up a cornice in his dining area but it soon became too dark to work. After a quick inspection of the upstairs paintwork he brings us home in the VW. Mum had departed to Maria's to see Molly.

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Sunday August 22, 1976

10th after Trinity. Lynne wakes me at 9 o'clock to say bye bye. She's wearing her new jeans and looks fantastic. I give her a peck on the lips and fall back into a coma for a couple of hours. Lynn wakes me at 11.30 to say CB is on the phone. Christine says I'm a "lazy bugger" and says it's the second time she's tried to phone today. She went out with David L last night, but says she is depressed about something. She even said she wanted to drown herself in the bath. God!

After a cooked breakfast, and clad in my new jeans, and 'winkle pickers' I go for a walk over the top and to Hawksworth village. Carole and I always walked on that path and my mind drifts back to those days. I think of last night's sighting of Carole. I remember one moment just before the end when I suddenly went cold feeling I was being watched with some intensity. I looked into the mirror behind the bar and could see Carole's eyes glued on me in the midst of the Martini and whisky optics. A horrible, sad moment.

I sit for a while on a gate and look down to Menston village and the grounds of Highroyds. The earth is so parched and un-English in appearance. Trees are brown and dead. This country has not experienced anything like this since before records were first kept 250 years ago. I take it all in because I will probably never see anything like it again.

Sit with Sue and Peter on the lawn. Lynn makes tea in readiness for Mum & Dad who get back [from Cumbria] at 7pm with cousins David and Edward [Uncle H's sons if you don't already know]. Haven't seen either of them since 1970 or so, but neither are really changed. Mum and Dad take them home to Wakefield at 8.30, but they're coming back to see us for the weekend of September 10/11.

See the film 'El Cid' until 10.30 and then watch a Bridget Bardot film until after midnight.

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Saturday August 21, 1976

Lynne comes at 1 o'clock and the two of us go to Harrogate for a couple of hours where we both buy jeans [£10.95] from 'one of them' denim shops. On the way we called at the Square & Compass at North Rigton for drinks, but we're plagued by about 48,000,000 wasps and make a sudden departure at high speed. Harrogate is unbearable on the best of occasions but in this tremendous heat it's even worse.

Get Christine W a revolting perfume spray from Boots and Lynne and I nearly die laughing after smelling it. Home at about 5. Lynne goes to Jean's for tea.

Chris comes for Sue, Pete and me at 8.30 and we go down to the Hare. See Tony in the main bar and arrange to go out with him on Thursday. Move into the party at 9 o'clock and stay until after midnight. Not the best party I've ever been to, but we managed to laugh at one or two things. Lynne is so unpossessive. Drink lager and gin and tonics, and distinctly remember licking a lot of people. Well, it makes a change from the usual boring conversation. I'm now the World Champion Licker. It's four years of solid training now until Moscow, 1980. Poor Carole came in with Peter but only stayed about an hour. She looked drawn and unhealthy. Her presence quietened me down a good deal. Back to Pine Tops for coffee and a photographic session.

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Friday August 20, 1976

Mum and Dad go up to see Uncle Harry for the weekend. Lynn and David are entertaining Alison and her man friend, and Lynne and I arrange to meet Sarah and Peter [Baker]. Lynne comes over at 7.30 - 8 o'clock and we drive to Follifoot where we sit outside the Lascelles Arms sipping lager & watching the sunset. How romantic!
But then Lynne just about smashed my teeth out after almost knocking my glass down my throat[accidentally] and then spilt cider over my trousers. Sarah and Peter arrive and we move inside for a further couple of rounds. Lynne doesn't seem to take exception to Peter's eccentricities,and they hit it off quite nicely. We go on to the Damn Yankee in Harrogate where I have one of those enormous pizzas again. A great meal. Back to our place for coffee. Drink lime juice. We called at Ty-Gwyn to inspect the old place on the way home. Sit in the dining room and have hysterics at Peter's recital of bits from last night's Evening Post. A misprint proclaimed 'Lord Haw Haw Haw Haw re-buried'. William Joyce wouldn't be amused I'm sure. Two Haws too many. We roared with laughter. We also had fun with the alabaster elephant in the dining room. But the less said about that the better. They all departed at 1am. I passed a pleasant night sleeping on the settee.

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Thursday August 19, 1976

Christine Dibb's so-called 18th birthday party at the Hare & Hounds. Lynne and I go down with Susan & Peter, and we stand with Martyn, who is terribly nervous because Alison [Dixon] is coming in with her new boyfriend, John [Pinder], and Lynn & David. Al and John are staying at Pine Tops from tonight until Saturday.

Get a bit pissed and chat with Maria on the subject of marriage. She cannot understand me when I say some women are out for a good time just like lots of men are. She thinks all girls leave school and take any old job that comes along in the hope that a quick marriage will soon rescue them. I am sure that the majority of women have no such thing in mind. Take Lynne for instance. Marriage to her is millions of light years away. It would take eternity to get her down the aisle - not that I'm wanting to.

Lynn & Dave come in with Alison and John, and I'm sorry to say I do not like him at all. He even bought Martyn a drink - creepy of him to say the least, and I do not rellish sharing a bedroom with him for two nights. Home at 11.30. In bed for midnight. No sign of Lynn, Dave, Alison and John until 4.30am, when they stagger in in a drunken fashion.

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Wednesday August 18, 1976

Sarah [Collis] & Peter [Baker] come over at 8 o'clock. The three of us go see John & Maria where they inspect the rabbits and introduce Lucy [Sarah's shih tzu] to Prince [Maria's King Charles spaniel]. John gives Peter blank looks when the latter attempts to lassoo the dogs with Lucy's lead, but Sarah & I just laugh. Neither John or Maria seem impressed with Peter. Much too 'kinky' and childish I fear. The three of us leave at 9.15 and go to the Fox & Hounds, and then move on to the Horsforth Leisure Centre where they show me round the place. See Marilyn [Wheeler] playing squash. Afterwards we go to Brian's the fish and chip shop at Headingley, and devour large quantities of food. Peter, because he doesn't really know me, thinks I'm the type who enjoys listening to jokes. I do not. I find difficulty in laughing at tales of Irish citizens visiting brothels, and other outrageous anecdotes of the sexual activities of nuns, and coarse, unwholesome rhyms about Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs. However, Peter is a good laugh, despite the nasty things he said about Capt Mark Phillips. Evidently, they [he and the captain] were at Marlborough together, and Mark's sexual frolics were far from healthy.

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Tuesday August 17, 1976

Even hotter today. Work was uneventful, and home at 5.15 and have roast chicken. Rang Lynne today. She's been making enquiries about a flat. Karl wants to complete his final year at Prince Henry's Grammar School and so he'd be able to join her. No doubt she'll want one in the Otley area. I cannot understand why they [the Mathers] had to move all that way to Thornton-le-Dale in the first place. It seems to me that Donald Mather is the only person who wanted to move. Very undemocratic. It certainly would never be allowed to happen in our family. If, for instance, Dad wanted to move out of the area against the wishes of the rest of us, he would be court martialed, and no doubt found guilty of high treason, and executed. The Angolan mercenaries received no sympathy in this house.

Leap into the bath at about 8pm to help kill the boredom. The television is uninteresting and things in general are running at a low ebb. My research into the descendants of Charles II remains incomplete, and I just cannot be bothered to take it up at present. You have to be in the right mood for that sort of thing.

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Monday August 16, 1976

The drought continues. Trees are dying now, and I have noticed especially that the grass verges are no longer green. The route now from Leeds to Guiseley is reminiscent of the journey from Palma Airport to your Majorcan holiday resort. The drains are beginning to smell like Spanish drains too. The BBC hasn't seen anything like it since records were first kept in 1972.

At 9 o'clock tonight Lynne comes up to see me accompanied by Jean and another friend, Julie. The three of them take me either to the White Hart or Half Moon at Pool-in-Wharfedale. I've forgottren which one. Julie, a thick, half-witted young lady was in the same form at St Mary's [RC school] with Carole and Maria. She tells me that Carole, after a dispute with the headmaster, rushed home and devoured a bottle of asprin and had to have her stomach pumped. I've never heard this one before. She also related to me the tale of how Mr & Mrs Phillips attempted to gas themselves because of financial difficulties. Sad, but humourous. After two or three drinks in the forgotten pub we returned to Pine Tops for coffee. Dad is startled to see me with three ladies. Lynne is in hysterics about something, but is too convulsed to relate the cause to me. Must be my influence.

Sue & Pete come back from the Hare & Hounds where they'd had a meal. Pete stays in John's old bed for the night because Mr & Mrs Nason are away. Read 'Eva & Adolf' until after 1am.

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Sunday August 15, 1976

9th after Trinity. A hot day. Wake at 8am to find the bedroom light burning brightly. Must have fallen to sleep very suddenly last night because a full cup of cold coffee is next to the bed along with Eva & Adolf. Read until after 6pm in the garden. Just Mum, Dad, Lynn & David. Lynn ________________. I never imagined for one minute that I'd be interested in Eva Braun's relationship with Hitler but the book is very interesting. Get through more than two thirds of the volume.

Eat very little at lunch because it's too hot. How long is the heatwave going to last? The garden is incredibly parched and everything is dying off. The water supplies are dwindling and we'll have to resort to drinking horrible beer instead. If I never see water again I wouldn't give a damn. It's colourless, boring and tasteless.

CB rang to say Roger finished with her last night and suggests we go out one night next week. Could this be the beginning [again] of the greatest romance the world has ever seen?

At 9 o'clock Chris comes and we go to the Fleece at Horsforth, then the King's [Arms], and finally the Queen's [Arms]. Andy, Linda & Carol are in the Queen's. Chris says Pete M is bringing Carole to Christine White's 21st on Saturday, and last night Peter had mischievously introduced her to people at Richard Mayer's 21st as "Carole, my girlfriend, who is three months pregnant."

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Saturday August 14, 1976

On my own all day. Lynn and David are at Richard Baker's wedding at some remote village near York, and Susan is with Peter until 8.30. Mum and Dad left for Crook in County Durham at about 12, and so for eight and a half hours I'm alone in the house. John calls round for half an hour at 2.30 and I force a cup of coffee down him. He says that all Maria wants to do is shop and he's managed to shake off the marital bonds for the afternoon. Ring Chris - just as Susan returns - and he picks me up at 8.35 with Carol Smith - who has finished with Egor. Down to the Hare. John, Maria, Andy and Linda, Christine D, Lynn & David [who returned from York just as I was locking up]. Move on the the Malt Shovel at Burley-in-W [except Lynn, Dave, John & Maria]. To Ilkley afterwards, like last night. Chat with Graham [Airey] for the first time since he's been going out with CD. A nice lad. Go to 'Upstairs Downstairs' again and have a laugh with Chris judging the ladies at their dancing skills. Give CD more points than Carol - I've always admired CD's movement. Had a few too many again. Home at 2. Make cheese on toast and coffee. Don't remember going upstairs. Hiccoughs.

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Friday August 13, 1976

Friday the Thirteenth. Lynne comes up at 7.30. We take Sue & Peter to the Hare & Hounds - which is quiet and miserable - unusual for Friday. No sign of John and Maria, but Chris, Peter M and Martyn come in. At 9.30 Lynne decides to head off to Thornton-le-Dale and I bid her my fond farewells in the carpark. Move on to the 'Star' in Ilkley with Chris, Pete and Martyn and we all get more than just a bit pissed. End up at 'Upstairs, Downstairs' beneath the Stoney Lea until nearly 2 o'clock. Martyn talks about David, Lynn, Sue & Peter. He says he doesn't see any of these relationships lasting! I never doubt that one day Lynn will be Mrs Baker and Sue Mrs Nason. Martyn and I sit downstairs, while Pete & Chris go on the rampage upstairs. I sometimes worry about Peter. He chases after little girls who cannot be more than sixteen. If he ever gets caught it will make an interesting court case. Not seeing Lynne until Wednesday when we are going out with Chris and Janet.

Oh, by the way, I bought a camera today. £12.50 from Boots. I've wanted a decent one for quite a while and decided that the time had come to put it off no longer. Besides, a record of my nephew's childhood will need to be kept and that event can only be a couple of pay days away.

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Thursday August 12, 1976

Another scorching, hot day. Lynne stays late at work and doesn't arrive at Pine Tops for tea until just after 7. We have fish and chips - just the two of us - in the dining room, and at about 7.45 we leave for Auntie Mabel's. Mum and Dad go too - but in the Toyota.

Good old Auntie Mabel is bearing up well and is lovely and cheerful. I am very fond of her. She likes Lynne I think, but is taken aback to see me with another girl. The last time I came to see her I was with Carole of course. She must be so lonely without Uncle Jack. Lynne is a bit worried when it's after ten o'clock because she's promised Auntie Lilian that she'll be on time, and it is Lynne's first night in lodgings. We bid farewell to Auntie at about 10.45 after having nice sandwiches and pickled onions. I travelled with Lynne as far as Headingley. Dad and Mum came too to show her the directions to Roundhay. I leave her at some traffic lights and return home in Dad's car. A pleasant night out. Lynne enjoyed it too. Very hot though.

Home and in bed for 12.30. Should I read Eva & Adolf?

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