Sunday June 21, 1981

 _. 1st Sunday after Trinity. ~ Father's Day

A day at Ash Tree Cottage. Surprised to see 'Britt' as we affectionately call her, our next door neighbour [in fact Mrs Ethel Greenwood]. She made a rare appearance in her garden, and she reprimanded us for never visiting her. The sweet old lady was born on July 15, 1888, and she tells us it rained 'cats and dogs' on the day of her birth, St Swithun's Day. She says her grandson 'Our Graham', a Bradford policeman, interviewed Peter Sutcliffe. She says the Ripper is a 'plausible liar'. 

On to Pine Tops at 5:30 with sausages and beefburgers. Lynn, Dave B, Frances, Sue [looking bright] and Pete arrived at 6:30. We frolicked on the lawn, barbecuing steaks, &c. Haven't seem Mama laugh so much in ages. By 10:30 we were still outside wrapped in blankets and coats, shrouded in the dense all consuming charcoal smog. 

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Saturday June 20, 1981

 . Dull, overcast, and very wet later. Feel hideous. Climbed out of bed at 11 and was violently sick, just in time for breakfast  of scrambled eggs on toast. 

At 1pm Ally, Dave G and I went to Bramhope to observe the wedding of Christopher Baker and Julie Harris at St Giles's Church. The vicar, I thought, made a ghastly gaffe going on and on about the breakdown of marriage and the perils of divorce. Dave G looked at me and whispered loudly that the vicar was instructing the couple to 'bleedin' well not bother'. 

At 2 we returned to the Woolpack for a couple of pints before waving a sad goodbye to Master Glynn. He has to be back on duty at dawn tomorrow at Stockport Hospital.

The Vintage restaurant.

To Guiseley. Slept in a chair until 7pm. Then to Lidget Green to get changed. The two of us went to dinner at the Vintage Steak Bar in Bradford. The T-bone steaks were £5.40 each, and were deplorable, disappointing. We laughed though, and made small talk. I know it's wrong but we had a bottle of Liebfraumilch with our red meat. The bill came to £18 which we can ill afford.

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Friday June 19, 1981

 _. Mum and Dad's 27th wedding anniversary. I made an appearance at the marital bedroom at 7:30 and gave them a card and a present ~ a dish [Royal Albert] bearing a charming likeness of Lady Diana midst the roses.

The YP was glum. I made good my escape at noon. Ally met me on Wellington Street and we went to the railway station and met Dave G. We had a drink at the Central - hideous, and more alcohol at the Bank where I bought Ally a quiche salad. The latter watering hole was packed with estate agents and solicitors drinking gin and lusting after their secretaries. Then on to Jacomelli's, on Boar Lane.

To Guiseley via Bradford where we had fish and chips with Mum and Dad. Ally went off to Burley to bake with Lynn and no doubt discuss last night. They started off at Burley Gates and then went to the dear old Il Trovatore. I am told that Ally did her party piece and vomitted in the taxi.

I am a vision in green tonight. My Primo 'Moshe Dayan' jeans and a bottle green T-shirt. Dave G and I were deposited at the Woolpack by Ally, and she left us to our own devices. Joined by Pete, Chippy, Dave B, Dave L, Dave Allinson. From here we went to Chaplin's [Bolton Junction, eating raw carrot in Dave L's car]. Saw Dave Porritt, our DJ next week. On to 'Time and Place' in Bradford at 11:15 but they wouldn't allow Dave L in because of his inappropriate footwear, and so on we went to Gatsby's, a hovel if ever I saw one.

Dave L suggested that we should perhaps mug someone in the gents toilets so that he could swap shoes with the victim. He made several attempts but failed to find a candidate with his size of shoe. It was a bit like a modern day Cinderella re-worked. After 1am Dave L, in his offending footwear, drove Dave G and I to the Elmer in Shipley, and the others continued to Guiseley. The rest is lost. I remember nothing. Hideously pissed.

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Thursday June 18, 1981

 _. Hot day. At the office Sarah ahd Shazzo were howling with laughter about something. Shazzo asks me to ask her what she did yesterday. I obliged, and was told that at 11am she had married her Turkish boyfriend at Leeds Register Office after a courtship of ten days. What's more, the new Mrs Shahid Koc [pronounced 'Koch'] is being carried off to Turkey is two weeks time. We will have seen the last of Shazzo. All day people made the usual sneering remarks about the Turks. Our general view of these eastern gentleman hasn't been entirely favourable since one of their race attempted to slay the dear Pope last month. Sharon handed in her notice amidst a general office breakdown. Comments ranged from 'Coo. It's like a fairy tale' to 'she must be bloody crackers'. It proved all too much for Carol J. She took a half-day.

Kathleen went out at lunchtime and bought me a teapot, not my cup of tea, but never mind.

It is Ally's 'hen night'. She came here in her yellow shorts and t-shirt. Susie didn't appear, because of a heavy cold, and neither does she want to consume vast quantities of alcohol on a pregnant stomach, and so it was just Ally and Lynn, and off she went to meet her at 8.

I sat in on one of Mum's 'Jim and Margaret nights'. Utterly boring.

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Wednesday June 17, 1981

 _. Full Moon.

I am detecting a dryness in my throat and a blockage in the nasal cavity. Going down with a cold. Shit and buggery, I'm getting married next week.

An 'Ally-less' night. We had several conversations. Auntie Mabel had been on the phone to her talking about the rug she's buying us. Bless her. We must call and see her at the weekend.

Shazzo Cohen was missing from the office today. No doubt on her way to Ankara with her new love. Can't say that I blame her. The YP library is no place for an adventure seeking, sex-crazed 20 year-old.

A letter in the Times reports that the forename Zara is very common in Arab countries. The author goes on to say that it is something of a coincidence that Miss Phillips should be given an Arab name when King Khalid of Saudi Arabia is about to arrive in London. What a startling coincidence, not.

The Prince of Wales is in New York leaving Lady Diana alone at Royal Ascot. She is looking stunning. A definite style is emerging.

Sue has been to see a doctor. She should know for certain by Friday. In other news, Frances now weights 11 pounds.

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Tuesday June 16, 1981

 _. A fun-packed day at the office. All squabbling about holidays. Wendy Newton is quitting the library night staff, and once again we are in the doldrums. Sharon is behaving mysteriously. Ten days ago she met a Turk in the Intime Club in town and he has asked her to accompany him back to Istanbul next week. Is this the end of the ample Miss Cohen?

Didn't see Ally this evening but we spoke a couple of times. Garry has sent a response to Frank & Bessie. No, he won't be coming to the wedding. God knows why. 

Ally went for some sun-ray treatment and then to a hairdresser, who fiddled around with her hair in various styles for the wedding.

Sue is reporting feeling tired, sick and dizzy. It's a good sign, isn't it?

Battle Cruiser Zara.

A gent in a letter to the Times suggests that Miss Zara Phillips is so named because 40 years ago the Duke of Edinburgh, as a naval officer, contributed to the sinking of an Italian cruiser, Zara, at the Battle of Matapan. Laughter. Is Philip destined now to sink his own granddaughter?

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Monday June 15, 1981

 _. Up at 6:30. Ally and I took a bus to Horsforth, collected the car, fiddled with the accelerator, and off she went, pale and bruised from yesterday's collapse. Sarah says we missed a good party. What a pity for us that it had such a premature end. 

Dined with Mum, Dad and Ally at 6. I mowed the lawns. Ally followed doing the edges. 

Marcus Simon Sarjeant appeared in court today charged under Section 2 of the 1848 Treason Act. The bastard was remanded in court until June 24. TV and newspapers have devoted so much time and newsprint to this boy. It's a green light for all the lunatics to go out and frighten the Sovereign.

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Sunday June 14, 1981

 _. Trinity Sunday

Spent the morning pottering in the garden. Weeding, &c, to the sound of the church bells summoning Anglicans to church.

Ally: weak at the knees

To Delia's lunch party at 12:45. Ally in her yellow shorts, brown legs, white shoes. We had not been informed that it was an engagement party for Sarah and Trevor, and stood by as guests handed over spice racks, wine racks, heavy glass tumbers, &c.____. I spent some time in the kichen chatting to a young David Hirst about Benton Park School. Geoff Slater, the undertaker, cornered me and talked about official 'flag flying days'. Evidently I provided him with a list in 1975. Other guests included Jill Whittington, Olive, Olive's husband, Delia's florist, Delia's hairdresser, Barbara, Marilyn and Beverley Wheeler, &c. Just as the food was being served Ally began to feel dizzy and we went outside and propped up a coal bunker. She became weak at the knees. For us the party was over. I helped her to the car and set off down West End Lane, and had driven no further a mile when the accelerator pedal snapped beneath my foot. I pushed the car into a lay-by, Ally now unconscious, and walked to Horsforth roundabout and phoned Susan and Peter. They arrived at about 4 and brought us back to Pine Tops and we put her to bed. I spent the evening keeping vigil.

Mum and Dad dined at the Prachee.

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Saturday June 13, 1981

 _. Shopping in Bradford. Ally bought some yellow shorts and matching shirt and now looks like a sexy canary. I bought a couple of pairs of socks.

Sarjeant: firing blanks.

Back at Ash Tree Cottage at 3. Hear on the radio that someone fired six blanks at the Queen as she was entering Horse Guards Parade this morning for the Trooping of the Colour ceremony. HM was unhurt and performed splendidly on her horse, Burmese. A 17 year-old youth, Marcus Sarjeant, from Kent, has been charged with offences under Section 2 of the 1848 Treason Act, and could face a prison sentence of up to seven years. At the Birthday Parade in 1936 a Scot threw a loaded revolver at King Edward VIII on Constitution Hill, and did a years 'hard labour' for his treacherous deed.

To Guiseley at 5. Stayed until after 12. Had fish and chips. Sue and Pete came at about 10 just as Ally was dishing up the food. Sue thinks she might be pregnant, and the baby due in February. Surely, this cannot be right? It means she's only two days pregnant. She's seeing a doctor on Wednesday. Much laughter. Peter took all the banter with his usual Nason composure. To Bradford after 12.

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Friday June 12, 1981

Pine Tops: soon to be sold?

 _. Mum and Dad are inundated with enquiries about the sale of Pine Tops. People are flocking to view. No doubt the old place will be sold at the weekend. I phoned Mum this afternoon.

At the office I did point out to the [news] desk that Princess Anne's lady-in-waiting, the Hon Shan Legge-Bourke, also has a daughter, Zara, born in 1966.

To Club Street at 6. Another evening of tidying up in readiness for the visit of the duke and duchess on June 26, or is it June 25? Ally was in a highly emotional state tonight ___________.

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Thursday June 11, 1981

 _. To the YP. Had my hair cut at Carlo & Jeffrey's  - £4. Princess Anne's daughter is not going to be called Tracy. Instead they've gone for Zara Anne Elizabeth. 

To Ash Tree Cottage for 6. We went to Morrison's and spent £7 on virtually nothing at all. Just a few provisions for tea and a tin of Heinz Ravioli 'in rich tomato sauce' for our post-honeymoon food supply.

Grayson: mantlepiece

At 8 I left Ally [yes folks, she's still 'Spring cleaning'] and walked up to St Wilfred's Church to collect a completed Banns certificate from the Denis Price-like Mr Nudds. He guided me into his study where he filled out the certificate. I was startled by the portrait adorning the chimney breast over the mantlepiece. A framed and signed portrait of no lesser person than Larry Grayson, the homosexual tv quiz master. After last Sunday's 'high church' experience I would have expected to see Pope John Paul up there. It was warming to see Robert Lacey's 'Majesty' on Mr Nudds's well stocked bookcase.

Back at Club St Ally was sneezing [because of the dust]. Phoned Dave G. He is going to collect us at Manchester Airport on July 12. Dave L phoned to ask about the 'stag night'. Bessie phoned Ally and spoke for hours on end. Wedding talk. I made a large tissue-paper shroud for the wedding dress hanging in the Flying Pig Suite. Obviously, I haven't seen the gown.

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Wednesday June 10, 1981

 _. The 60th birthday of HRH The Duke of Edinburgh. 

Took a half-day and left the office at 12. I lingered in a book shop in town and then wandered to Pronuptia Bridal where I met a glowing Ally, in pink trousers, and white blouse. Like an ice-cream sundae in fact. We collected large boxes containg the bridal dress and bridesmaid dresses and paid out £200 [half the cost].

Charles in Bradford.

Ally saw the Prince of Wales in Bradford this morning. He drove past her in his magnificent car, with crest fluttering, as she sped up Squire Lane, on the third day of her fake stomach upset. We went to Bradford and saw the prince leaving the Town Hall [where he'd lunched]. The immense popularity of the P of W is made very clear by the shear numbers who turned out to catch a glimpse. The city centre was at a standstill. HRH then drove to Yeadon where he flew home at 4:20. Officials at the airport say they cannot recall such a crowd massing to see someone fly out. 

Home to Pine Tops at 5. Saw Lynn and Frances. Mum and Dad were entertaining a couple of prospective buyers, and so Ally and I went to Burley, and came home at 11.

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Tuesday June 9, 1981

Diana: 

 _. To the office. Ally, the naughty girl, coninued with her mock-illness and remained at Club St 'spring cleaning' in readiness for the wedding of the year. On the subject of the wedding of the year I'm slightly put out. Driving to Leeds with Jim today I remarked that 'the wedding is getting near now', to which Jim immediately replied 'oh yes, I'm dreading all that hideous TV coverage, their faces splattered all over every newspaper and magazine in the Kingdom for weeks on end ....' clearly thinking I was talking of the Royal wedding and not mine. Ours is quite lost in all the royal build up.

Sarah was missing yesterday at the YP too. Tummy upset. So, yesterday 'Mrs Slocombe' was left to do everything.

I'm having trouble sleeping you know [have I mentioned this before?] The wedding [ours] must be playing around, creeping upon my subconscious. I am not in any way frightened. Indeed, I long for it, the home life, and everything it entails.

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Monday June 8, 1981

Haworth.

 _.Up at 8. We phoned our respective places of employment pleading illness. We took a leisurely breakfast, and phoned Mum at 10. I didn't want her phoning the office to be told I was at home in bed. We packed a picnic of egg mayonnaise sandwiches and went to Haworth at 12 for a tranquil afternoon at the 'Bronte Waterfalls'. A peaceful walk on the moors with my love disturbed only by schoolchildren squealing at the falls. We looked at the shops, and returned to Guiseley.

To Rawdon at 5:15 for a session with my bearded, garlic smelling dentist. Just a clean and polish and it cost me £3. Ally, sat in the waiting room saw Mr Miller, one of the AHA bosses, and so hid behind a four year old edition of Horse & Hound. On to Guiseley.

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Sunday June 7, 1981

 _. Whit Sunday

To St Wilfred's Church, Lidget Green at 10:30 to hear the Banns on our marriage spoken by Mr Nudds, the vicar. He preached very solemnly from the pulpit, booming through his microphone of the perils of drug abuse and a tale of a Thalidomide child. Home at 11:30 for bacon and eggs.

Rachel, Anne and Penny.

After a soak and a change of clothes we walked to Chellow, armed with a bottle of Papa's apple wine, to Rachel Judson's afternoon party. Her live-in boyfriend Garry is a caterer and the display of food looked like something from the Savoy. A large salmon, turkey, &c. Some bitchiness enused between Rachel's Halifax friends and YP ladies. The Halifax girls all resembled desert island castaways, in shorts, with lots of tanned, bare flesh. Penny Wark likened the tans to 'gravy browning'. Evidently I provided some musical accompaniment to an old, scratched Abba LP, but this was after 9 when everyone seemed to be staggering drunk. Rachel was quite overcome by it all. I've always said she is a little girl at heart. This afternoon for instance she was in her kitchen sobbing because she thought nobody was enjoying the party. Eileen and Steve Burnip were fun, as was Gavin Summers. We staggered back home after 10, and in pouring rain, and sat by the fire in a state of undress listening to Dohnányi's 'Theme on a Nursery Song'. Hot toast and tea, and decide to skip work tomorrow.

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Saturday June 6, 1981

 _. Because I am so rarely at home I find that compiling this journal is becoming more and more difficult. 

Ally and I had a fruitless day in Leeds drifting aimlessly around the shops. Saw 'Mrs Slocombe' and her sister Wendy. We went into the Ostlers chiefly to allow Ally to answer the call, or perhaps the scream, of nature. Obviously, we didn't leave the pub without sampling its excellent ales.

The afternoon was a catastrophe from start to finish. I had no enthusiasm for spending money, or more correctly, the bank's money. Ally took exception to my reticence. I did succumb to a pair of trousers costing £26 in Primo's. They're a bit military looking, not out of place on Moshe Dayan.

Back to Club Street. I made a Spanish omelette. First though I had to march down the High St looking for red peppers and onions. We went to see the Rev Calvin Ward at Esholt at 7. We had a full-scale wedding rehearsal - quite beautiful. He was so enthusiastic and cheerful, as if it was his first wedding. Back to Pine Tops. Mum packed me up with bacon and eggs, &c, and at 12 we returned to Club St.

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Friday June 5, 1981

 _. Boring day at the YP. I cannot go on much longer. I am quite wasted doing what I'm doing. Thoroughly wasted. Sarah was so very happy about her invitation. I chastised her for not telling me sooner of the canceled Scottish trip.

Home at 6. No sign of Mum and Dad. They were out all evening at the Stonehouse compiling an inventory. This afternoon they visited an accountant in Harrogate.

Ally came for tea. Just beans, eggs, &c. To the Cow & Calf Hotel to discuss a few minor details with the management. You know, table flowers, wine &c. Took the wedding cake to be iced at Mrs Rusby's. She has a poor spastic daughter who must be my age. An only child too. Visited Lynn and Dave too, and baby Frances was frantically sucking upon a dummy.

At the office I picked up some free tickets for a late showing at the ABC Cinema, Leeds tonight, for 'The Exterminator' starring endless obscure actors, and Samantha Eggar, an almost obscure actress. I phoned Dave L and told him to be outside the cinema at 10:30. He complied with this request. It was a very poor film but amusing in places where probably it shouldn't have been. Would have felt robbed if I'd payed money to see it. Back to Bradford at 12:30.

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Thursday June 4, 1981

 _. Feeling frivolous I bought two rump steaks and went to Bradford at 5. I now have my own key you know. I let myself into the empty house. Ally was at the hairdresser having her hair permed in readiness for the wedding. She was back looking extremely bonnie at 6:30, and we dined at 7. 

Bessie: 59.

My future mother-in-law, Bessie, is 59 today. It's a year since we had a mad four or five days in Winchester. The trip to Windsor and the t-bone steak there still makes my mouth water. And I'll always remember a sun-tanned Ally on Itchen Downs, a poppy arranged sexily behind one ear.

Afterwards we watched the increasingly snowy TV. Sarah has announced that she and Delia are not now away in Scotland on our wedding day. Communicating this to Ally she immediately phoned Bessie to add them to the guest list. I phoned Delia, who almost burst into tears saying she and Sarah had been quite 'heart broken' at the thought of missing the wedding. Obviously, Trevor is now on the list too.

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Wednesday June 3, 1981

 _. Sarah appeared at the office wearing an engagement ring.

Ally came this evening and so too did Hilda and Tony. We debated, at length, the pros and cons of having an Access card, and the suitability of Lady Diana as a royal bride. Auntie Hilda is a comic. She can be very 'dead pan'. Tony attempted to rope Dad into attending a Rotary Club dinner in October. Obviously, Dad can never commit. The Gadsbys had been to see baby Frances before landing with us. 

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Tuesday June 2, 1981

 _. New Moon

Sarah: engaged

Heavy rain at first, sun later. Good old Coronation Day, but I suspect that the Union flag fluttering above the YP is for quite a different reason. Sarah today announced her engagement to Trevor Abbott, or Abbot. I didn't go in to the YP until 10 [having worked the night shift last night]. Sarah was obviously gleeful about something which I didn't find unusual. She is always either very high or very low. She could hardly contain herself, and told that at 12 she and Trevor were going into town to buy an engagement ring. She returned at 2 and we howled with laughter all afternoon.

Wedding talks with Ally. At 2:30 we squabbled about items on the wedding list. I want nothing to do with wedding lists and the compiling thereof.

Ally came over at 7:30. Mum was in a miserable mood and so we escaped with a copy of The Times to West End Terrace so that Sue and Pete could look at the foreign holidays on the back page. They have recently inherited £200 each from the estate of Pete's grandmother, Florence Nason, who died last June. Back to Pine Tops at 10:30. Ally stayed over.

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Monday June 1, 1981

 _. Bank Holiday in Rep. of Ireland

Ally went to work and 9 but Dave and I took a leisurely breakfast before joining her for lunch at the Reservoir pub, Chellow Dene. We sat with pints and prawn sandwiches from 12 until 2. Ally went back to labour for Derek Jenkins at 2, and Dave and I scaled Squire Lane, beneath a hard, burning sun. Back at Ash Tree Cottage we had pots of tea and blasted some 'Police' on the stereo. Dave, very quiet, is worried about Garry. He forked out Garry's £300 for their forthcoming holiday, and has yet to get it back. He also says that Garry might not be able to get to our wedding because it clashes with Mr & Mrs Barratt's Atomic wedding anniversary, or whatever. 

Bus to Leeds with Dave at 4. He got the 4:30 train to Stockport. I did the YP 5pm-12. It was quite dead. Home to Guiseley with a comical taxi driver who assumed that because I live on Hawksworth Lane I must be a pools winner. 

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