Sunday May 2, 1982

 3rd Sunday after Easter

Up with the larks. Drove to Yeadon and looked at kitchens in a showroom. Lots of people drinking wine and eating cheese and biscuits. No way to sell kitchens if you ask me.

On to Sue's. Sat drinking lager and looking at Christopher, who is quite massive now. The poor baby is a Nason all over. Onwards to Pine Tops. Mum and Dad have now taken fancy to a guest house at Grassington, and have made an offer. I am not enthusiastic. Frying eggs all day isn't what I call a proper job and I can see them in my minds eye behind a bar pulling pints. They seem very happy about it, and say it won't be as restrictive as a tavern.

Watched 'Brief Encounter' only half-heartedly, and played with Frances, who has the reddest cheeks I have ever seen. She had stayed over last night whilst Lynn and Dave were out at Sicklinghall with Trevor and Jane. Frances can only crawl and refuses to stand. A beautiful, comical looking child. Lynn and Dave came in at 2. Dad followed [he's been on duty]. Dave went away to draw, and came back at 6 with fish and chips, after which they took baby home to bed. We sat and watched 'Woman in White' and left after 10.

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Saturday May 1, 1982

 May Day. 

Slept soundly and got up full of beans because my cheque for £10 arrived from the beloved Post Office. If you can recall, Bessie posted my card on April 1, addressed to 'Ashe Tree Cottage, 5 Lidget Green, Bradford'. The sleuths at the PO have finally traced me and at 10:30 we set out gleefully to 'spend, spend spend'. First to the Co-op and then to town where I bought a pair of pump-like shoes called Turbos. I now look like a combination of Shakin' Stevens and the Woman in White. I bought Ally a blouse ~ a present from my 'Princess Felicitas of Prussia' article for Jonathan Margolis at the Mail. Bought three LPs. Eric Clapton, Remain in Light by Talking Heads, and a 1978 Bee Gees. Walked around town feeling like Sir Charles Clore [when he was alive that is].

Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones is eighteen. Why not marry her off to Viscount Althorp or the Marquess of Milford Haven?

Mum phoned. Karen isn't pregnant after all. Her doctor has changed his mind. The poor girl is in hysterics.

Sat by the TV watching the war. We bombed Port Stanley airfield today, and suffered no losses. The bulletins kept us rivetted. Our generation has never experienced such drama.

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Friday April 30, 1982

 Just like old times I had a hangover. The girls in the office smiled and giggled at me. Why do women enjoy the sight of a man suffering? I blame the Roman Catholics. 

Went out at lunch and had a Cornish pasty in the rain in Park Square. Some young things were playing rounders in the daffodils.

Back at the YP I poured over my warm copy of the EP, hot off the press. From noon we have established our blockade of the Falklands and anything coming over the line is to be shot at. Let us hope this is not the Suez of Mrs Thatcher.

Shattered tonight. Ate and then slept. Nothing feels better than curling up in bed feeling completely done in. It wassn't too long before my contemplation of the ceiling passed into oblivion.

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Thursday April 29, 1982

 Dear cousin Jill is twenty today. I remember her birth. I used to call her Jilly. Pay day. Got £68 instead of the usual £62. Pathetic, eh? Went out at lunchtime and bought a lager pack and some nice veg soup for Ally [cucumber and mushroom, or something]. She is quite partial to pretty soups.

Home at 5:30. Both in the bath and dressed hurriedly, but didn't get out until 8. Collected a few bottles and went to Valley Rd [Pudsey] where the Gadsbys were gathered for Jill. On to the King's Arms at Tong. Tony, Hilda, Karen, Steve, &c. Diane told us of her forthcoming visit to Buckingham Palace to a presentation by Prince Philip of Duke of Edinburgh Gold Awards. She and Hilda have bought new hats. Tony talked about the Gadsby Coat of Arms [!] ~ rampant ferrets, I think. Cock and Bull, more like. Jill was on top form calling me 'Mig'. She is an extremely witty lady. Back to Valley Road for more drinks. A poor boy called Vernon Murdoch, a neighbour, was taking refuge in their greenhouse, having been locked out of his house.

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Wednesday April 28, 1982

 Windy. Weaker sun. Mum phoned. In Friday's YP death notices she has spotted the death of Mr Heap, of the Fox & Hounds, Starbotton. We didn't see him during our stay. He was incapacitated in a nearby room. Poor Mrs Heap.

Mum said she's heard of a Wharfedale Union Workhouse in Otley. Could this be where John Rhodes [1866-1948] was?

YP dismal. We received no copies of The Times, which gave a bad start to the day. The Falklands business looks like war. We are set to sink everything on sight from 11am on Friday. Labour is squealing about going to the UN, but what can they possibly do? Alexander Haig's Hon GBE is fading.

I cashed the £30 cheque from Jonathan Margolis. Walked around town but bought nothing. I never get further than HMV records and Greenhead books. I could easily spend £30 every week on records.

Jackie and Barry came at 8:30 and we sat listening to stories of Benidorm. Both seem happy and relaxed. we sat drinking beer and Rosé wine until almost 12. Ally made a pile of salad sandwiches and I helped her chop tomatoes while Jackie and Barry whispered together. We both wore striped shirts.

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Tuesday April 27, 1982

 Sunshine. Up at 6:30. I dreamt that Ally bought me some rabbits. How odd. We sat eating biscuits and drinking tea. £1500 is one Hell of a lot of money [for a kitchen] and I don't think we can afford it. However, a cheque for £30 arrived from Jonathan Margolis and so it isn't all gloom and darkness. 

Ally is bubbly and cheerful, which is amazing considering that the AHA is in a heap and she seldom has a proper days work. She needs to be kept busy because she thinks, while slumped over her barren typewriter, of all the work she could be doing at home.

The second coming?

YP:  Kathleen inspected Sarah's wedding ring. Why do women do this? Surely one wedding ring resembles another? We discuss the second coming of the Messiah, which a local lunatic has prophesied is to occur next week. How will the Messiah do it? Will it be a blinding flash and the chorus of a heavenly host, or will it be like the first time? Will he go through the 'born in a stable' routine all over again? Margot probably hit the nail on the head when she said: 'I bet you anything he has decided not to bother coming.' Hoots of laughter.

Home at 6. A happy, cuddly night. Mum phoned. The Polaris submarine captain inspected the loft this morning and went away again.

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Monday April 26, 1982

 Sun. Falklands. Ally. Love. Daffodils. Like the EEC we had a milk mountain this morning, and for the first time since I was a child I drank lots of it [with Rice Krispies]. We sat talking about Lynn and her peculiar ways. ____. Dave plays squash twice a week with the funny woman who lives next door to Jill & Tim. 

Sarah back at the YP. She says she hasn't settled down yet [to married life] and asks if this is normal.______.

Mr Middleton came to look at our kitchen and says the new oak one will cost us £1500. Very expensive but his plan does look good. We spent the evening convincing ourselves that we can afford it. Bed 10:30.

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Sunday April 25, 1982

 2nd Sunday after Easter

Sun. Ally and I took a full-English breakfast but Ally didn't enjoy it and looked peeved. _________.

Phoned Susie & Peter. Marlene and Frank are visiting them today to inspect Christopher. I asked whether the baby had started school yet. Mum phoned. A naval officer from a polaris submarine has shown interest in buying Pine Tops. He visited this afternoon. Guiseley is hardly a searfaring town.

The Royal Marines [1982]

I went out and planted plants in the garden. Ally cleaned out the cellar. The TV was dominated by newsflashes throughout the day. The Royal Marines have landed on South Georgia and captured it back from the Argentinians. The announcement came at about 8pm as we were watching a delightful girl on BBC2 playing Rachmaninov's 2nd piano concerto, and the emotion was just too much. I went upstairs and put on my Union Jack underpants. This is something I have never experienced in my lifetime. Naval battles have always been part of history. Mrs Thatcher looked defiant and very 'Winston Churchill' on her doorstep at No 10 Downing St. The Queen received the PM in audience at Windsor this afternoon. The woman must be worried sick about Andrew.

Mum phoned again to give a report on the Polaris submarine gentleman. Bed late after a Falklands special on BBC2.

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Saturday April 24, 1982

 Sunshine, heat. Buried in our bed until after 11 and then devoured our usual weekend repast. Out to Bradford, to market. Vegetables, &c. Visited a posh kitchen shop and consider having an expensive oak kitchen suite fitted at Ash Tree Cottage. A man called Middleton is coming on Monday to measure up! We must be mad. We went on to the Railway Inn at Rodley and sat with beer in a smoke-filled chamber. Ghastly. On to the Gadsbys where Tony was bashing a hole in the wall. Hilda was sitting covered in three inches of brick dust refusing to move. We offered our congratulations to Karen and Steve. _____. On to Jill and Tim's. A nice garden. Ale and apricot wine. Dined at the Sanderson pile ~ Chilli con carne. Then back to Valley Rd with the carless Sandersons where we carried on drinking.Watched the horrid Eurovision Song Contest from the Harrogate complex. Abysmal. We returned to Bradford first dropping Karen & Steve at 12:30.

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Friday April 23, 1982

 St George's Day

Sun. YP not brilliant. Scanned the Times but saw no mention of any new Knights of the Garter. I blame the Argentinians. Sir Murray Maclehose, the Governor-General of Hong Kong would be a good KG possibility, but he isn't well and I don't think he'll  see another St George's Day.

Home at 5:30 to find Ally looking beautiful. We went to Burley-in-W at 7:30 stopping first at Beesley's to buy sherry from the barrel [costing £2.90!]. Lynn hadn't cooked a dinner because of the fine weather and she sent David out for fish and chips at 8. Lynn is worried that she isn't keeping up with Dave's high class colleagues. The Bakers don't have a cocktail cabinet, for instance.Dear God. _______. We had to endure a revolting series on the BBC about American forces in the UK in the '40s. Dull. No one could speak and I fumbled with the Daily Mail reading the Nigel Dempster column and his scoop about Princess Margaret and her friend Norman Lonsdale. Ally was bored. Then the photo albums came out. Lynn then switched onto a Walter Matthau film which we'd all seen before. At 12 we left, and only Dave saw us out because the TV hadn't quite burned itself out and Lynn couldn't tear herself away. _____.

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Thursday April 22, 1982

 Good weather again. Sarah has chosen a good week to have it off. Uneventful at the YP. Falklands and all that. Kathleen is mentally disturbed by the whole business of sending gunboats to the other end of the earth. She firmly believes that a nuclear holocaust will finish us all off by Christmas all because of Mrs Thatcher's actions. I think the whole thing is marvellous and it can be doing nothing but good for the election prospects of the Conservative party. Since the Argentinians invaded three weeks ago who has heard a mention of Roy Jenkins?

Home to Baby at 6 and just for a change we went to the Co-op and not to Morrison's. Back at 7:30 to watch a Chronicle programme on the raising of the 'Mary Rose' Tudor warship which sank in 1545. Saw a new thriller. Bed at God knows when.

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Wednesday April 21, 1982

 Birthday of Queen Elizabeth II

The fifty sixth birthday of Her Majesty the Queen. No doubt her thoughts are with Prince Andrew on the high seas heading for the Falklands. 

I climbed out of bed at 6:45 and sang the first two verses of the national anthem [I have trouble with the third]. We wallowed in the bath then had scrambled eggs. The Argentinians have no sovereign around whom to rally. That will contribue to their downfall. 

To the YP. Mum phoned at 11:30 to say that Karen is pregnant and that the baby is due in November. Didn't take a lunch break and left at 4. The phone trilled at 6. It was Jonathan Margolis saying my £30 is in the post. They have found someone in West Germany who has tracked down Princess Felicitas of Prussia [who would be Queen if the successsion had been gender blind in 1901].

Home at 4:45. Washed the windows. The Area Works Department is to quit Daisy Bank and move somewhere behind the [Bradford Royal] Infirmary. This will give Ally something to do. She's been on the verge of resignation brought on by inactivity. Derek Jenkins has taken two days off to attend the funeral of a friend. The deceased only lived at Clayton, not the Outer Hebrides.

Bessie phoned. They are coming to stay with us May7-9. We will miss Mum's FA Cup final orgy, but Dixon visits are rare and must take priority. 

Watched part 2 of 'Woman in White' and went up to bed.

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Tuesday April 20, 1982

 Woke at 5am and was restless afterwards. I dreamt that I had gone grey. Ally was splashing in the bath as I lay observing the bedroom ceiling thinking of sex. Well, it makes a change from worrying about the Falkland Islands.

Poached eggs. Bus to Leeds reading Evelyn Waugh's 1940s journal.

At the YP Kathleen didn't mention Sarah's wedding until about 3 when she casually asked what colour the bride wore. She had a cheese and wine party in the office at the time of Sarah & Trevor's nuptials. Women are such balls of confusion.

The Dowager Viscountess Monckton of Brenchley has died. She was Chris Monckton's step-grandmother and a peeress in her own right as Lady Ruthven of Freeland, and this peerage now merges with the earldom of Carlisle.

Home at 5 to Ally who was in blue. We had lasagne. Bottled our rosé wine.  Felt reassured watching Francis Pym on the news. Evidently, the Argentinians are flocking to watch 'Chariots of Fire', a new English film.

Lynn phoned to ask us to dinner and Friday was agreed upon. Watched TV - Thora Hird, and later Lord Snowdon talking about photography. Bed at 11:30.

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Monday April 19, 1982

 No desire to climb out of bed. Ally was splashing in the bath singing like a lark. 

On Saturday at Malham we discussed joining Mum and Dad in the pub business. We haven't said as much before. I had always assumed she would be very opposed to the idea. 

Back to the YP: reading the Sunday papers. The Queen missed the Badminton Horse Trials for the first time since Prince Edward was born in 1964 to go give Canada it's new constitution. I do not like Pierre Trudeau. Princess Anne was at Badminton where she asked a photographer to 'naff off'. I do love the Royal Family. 

Ships of the Royal Navy are nearing the Falklands, and the negotiations seem to have floundered. Alexander Haig has 'shuttled' between London and Buenos Aires without success. I must say it niggles me that the United States is sitting on the fence. President Reagan should be backing us 100 per cent. His sucking up to the Argentinians is nothing short of abominable. Let us hope that in Margaret Thatcher we have a Winston Churchill.

We had chilli con carne. Bottled beer afterwards.

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Sunday April 18, 1982

 Low Sunday

The Queen's.

Low Sunday, but high spirits. A full-English breakfast in the company of the dreaded trio from Liverpool. One was a science teach, who mentioned this fact in every conversation. Lovely day again. Like summer. We drove to Hubberholme and walked by the river and cuddled. To the George for a drink where we sat on a bench outside. On to the Buck at Buckden which we didn't like. Carpets, piped music and flock wallpaper aren't what the Dales should be. On to the Falcon at Arncliffe [which has a doctors surgery] and we had a ploughman's lunch. Finally to the Queen's at Litton, where Mum and Dad have designs. We were immediately taken by the charm of this place. Lots of stone and panoramic views, &c. Very impressed. Then, to Kilnsey, where we looked at the trout farm. We slept on the grass near the car, but a child called Helen with a laugh like a tommy gun woke us. We walked to Kettlewell and looked at the churchyard. Back to Starbotton for 7. Disorganisation. Mrs Heap served me a trout with almonds. Ally had a mince concoction. We left at 8:30.  Home at 11, via Pine Tops.

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Saturday April 17, 1982

 Feel hideous. I desperately tried to look lively because the success of Ally's weekend depends on my well-being. After breaskfast we went to Malham where I deposited my breakfast outside the Lister Arms. We drove across vast expanses of open moorland for me to make a spectacle of myself, on hands and knees, surrounded by hikers in the bustling village. We went to the Buck Inn and then to the top of Malham Cove. We sat taking in the view eating Mars bars. On to Settle for petrol and then back to Starbotton where we slept until 8 o'clock. In the bar at 9 we had scampi and chips. Three ageing homosexuals couldn't stop staring at me, and then we were cornered by a trio from Liverpool until 12. To bed giggling.

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Friday April 16, 1982

 Sunshine. Up at 7:30. Full-English breakfast. We are always nervous before weddings. I recall Ally shaking before Jill and Tim's nuptials, and yet we didn't take fright at our own joining. To Leeds at 10:30. The YP building told us it was 60 degrees F.

The bride.

It was my first experience of a register office wedding. Like a cross between a crematorium and a cinema. Piped music. __________. A conveyor belt of ceremonies. One bride queueing, middle-aged and surrounded by offspring, was drawing heavily on a cigarette, and blowing the smoke through the wedding veil covering her face. Sarah arrived at about 11 in Richard's Rolls-Royce. The bride was in a cream suit. Delia exclaimed that my black velvet jacket looked as though I'd slept in it.

To the Roman Gardens Restaurant in Horsforth. A curious table seating plan saw Ally and I on different tables for lunch. I sat facing Eileen Robertshaw. _____________.Back to the the Collis pile. Tea was offered, but I only drink alcohol at weddings. We left Delia's at 6:30 and drove straight to Starbotton, where we sat the bar of the Fox & Hounds drinking like fish. We looked ridiculous sitting in a Dales inn dressed in our wedding 'finery'. Mrs Heap, a scatty Lancashire woman, took us to our bedroom. We didn't dwell long before returning to the bar. 

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Thursday April 15, 1982

 Sunny day. We breakfasted on poached eggs. YP busy owing to Sarah's absence. Ally phoned at lunchtime. She has spoken to a Mrs Heap at the Fox & Hounds at Starbotton, and that subsequently we are going to the Yorkshire Dales at the weekend. I am very happy about it.We have toyed with the idea for a while, but had recently decided against it. Ally always makes the final decision in these things. I walked around with a spring in my step thinking about Theakston's ale and the rolling moors.

Home at 6 and we feverishly packed. Ate chicken curried with rice and chips. Spoke to Mum on the blower to tell her of our plans. She told me to look at the Queen's at Litton, shortly to be placed on the market.

Suitcases packed we sat tonight with salad sandwiches. Watched the final part of 'Badger By Owl-light'.

Lord Strange has died. I am ashamed to say I have never heard of him. I can put this down to the fact that my own copy of Burke's is the 1956 edition and the Strange barony was only called out of abeyance with the death of the Duke of Atholl in 1957. Once again the peerage falls into abeyance amongst his three daughters. Bed at 11.

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Wednesday April 14, 1982

 Sunshine. Went to the YP looking like Bertie Wooster. Very 'county'. It was Sarah's last unmarried day at the YP, and we had cream cakes in celebration. She was in something of a fluster.

I escaped at 4 much to Carol J's chagrin and traveled home squinting in the sunshine. I was home before Ally and startled her when she came in. Two letters in The Times saying what rubbish the Nancy Astor tv series was.

Two peers have died. Viscount Chilston and Lord Greenwood of Rossendale, bringing this years number of deaths in the Upper house to 12. I'm keeping a record.

Chicken stew and dumplings. Listen to the Human League LP. Bessie phoned to see if I have got my missing card and money. Gill's daddy, the Rev Matthew Lynn, has had some ticker trouble over Easter and had surgery. 

Mum phoned to thank me for the copy of Saturday's YP which I posted. Their car failed its MOT today. They are going to sell the old heap. They had been in the Shoulder of Mutton drinking  and she sounded giggly.

Watched part one of the 'Woman in White' by Wilkie Collins.

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Tuesday April 13, 1982

Judith.

 Back to the YP after my Easter break. Took Sarah her bit of 'Evesham' china. She was thrilled with it. I saw Judith Brown [nee Rushworth]. She says they are going for a Timothy Taylor's pub near Keighley. Apparently I am the first to know. They're in a cottage at Burley-in-W on the Wharfe and don't particularly want to sell it.

Phoned Ally who was bringing new life to the spare bedroom and washing the curtains.

Home for 5:30. Sunny warm evening. Roast chicken. Discuss the Princess of Wales. She isn't the shrinking violet as portrayed in the popular press. How else could she have captured HRH?

TV. News. Falklands. Bath. Bed. Books. Sleep.

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Monday April 12, 1982

 Bank Holiday in the UK (Except Scotland) and Canada

JPH and Catherine

My holiday too. Full English breakfast. Scarborough? Indecision about our plans all day, and eventually we decided to go to Pine Tops. We put an old table in the car boot, and we went to Guiseley in the sunshine. I put on my new Arran sweater. John and Maria and the children were with Mum. Maria looked fat and bronzed and looked more Argentinian that Scottish. Baby names came up. Edward, such a nice name. Catherine doesn't eat, except for five oranges a day. 'She loves fruit'. The children, grown, were filthy from head to toe. Falklands chatter. John says the Russians will support Argentina. I can't see this happening. We stayed to tea. Prawns and salad. Home at 11.

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